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9: Writing Persuasive Messages
9-15
(LO 9.4; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
9-29. Here are the problematic claims:
1. I am considered (By whom?)
5. Authority on employee health-insurance programs (employee health insurance is a vast
6. Universally positive feedback (No one has ever been dissatisfied about any aspect of
service? Seems hard to believe.)
7. They also love (“Love” is an awfully strong word to use here.)
8. Hundreds and hundreds of hours (This is vague; is it two hundred or nine hundred?
Does every client realize the same degree of time savings, or is this an average?)
10. Every degree of savings possible (This essentially promises perfect service; what expert
can make such a claim and deliver on it every single time?)
11. “Best advice ever!” (The best advice ever received on any topic?)
12. “An unbelievable amount” (Why is it unbelievable?)
Here is a revised version of the message:
As a recipient of America’s Health Insurance Plans 2010 Provider of the Year, I am
considered one of the country’s foremost authorities on implementing employee health
insurance programs. My clients offer positive feedback on the programs I’ve designed for
them. They also remark about how much time the programs I implement save them—an
9-30. The overall message is blandly presented; the message needs more punch through the use
of action words, colorful verbs and adjectives, and enthusiastic tone. The routine opening
does not fully catch the reader’s attention, and some of the audience will not finish reading
the brochure. This brochure would benefit from identifying a key selling point and how the
audience can benefit. The reader’s interest should be aroused before the price is mentioned.
Although the features are identified, they are not presented in an easy-to-read format. The
closing also lacks enthusiasm and needs a push for immediate action.
9: Writing Persuasive Messages
9-16
final sales tag line. In the P.S., make a special timely offer.
Here is a revised version of the message:
SCRUBADUB CAR WASHES
Serving car owners from 11 convenient locations
in Massachusetts and Rhode Island
Bob and Dan Paisner, Owners
Your “Best Defense Against a Dirty World” just got better!
How would you like a FREE car wash the next time your beauty gets rained on or
thrashed by salt, slush, or snow?
Don’t you just hate it when that happens the day after you’ve had your car washed and
waxed? We do, too! That’s why we’ve created ScrubaDub’s latest innovation in car-wash
Copyright © 2019 Pearson Education, Inc.
9-31. Using emotional appeals is ethical, unless you have distorted the truth or used words that
can be misinterpreted. Your posting should include clear benefits and allow readers the
freedom to choose. This exercise is a good chance to discuss how peer and company
pressure can make people feel manipulated into contributing to a cause. (LO 9.4; AACSB
Tag: Ethical understanding and reasoning)
EXPAND YOUR SKILLS
Critique the Professionals: Students’ responses should contain detailed evaluations of the
examples they find based on specific criteria from the chapter. For example, they might assess
how well the companies’ pages reflect the techniques listed, whether or not they avoid the types
of faulty logic listed, and the common mistakes outlined. They might also determine whether and
CASE SOLUTIONS
On the following pages are suggested solutions for this chapter’s cases.
9-32. Message Strategies: Persuasive Business Messages
Note: Here are three high-profile executives who use Twitter to reach their stakeholders.
9: Writing Persuasive Messages
9-18
Twitter lets top CEOs connect directly and personally with customers and others instantly, in 140
characters or less: http://twitter.com
Richard Branson uses Twitter to focus on Virgin’s CSR efforts and to connect on a personal
level. See http://twitter.com/richardbranson.
Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg uses Twitter to speak directly to consumers and to get news out in
real-time: http://twitter.com/finkd.
Tony Hsieh’s frequent updates and authentic voice on http://twitter.com/zappos make even
company news feel like a chat among friends. (LO 9.3; AACSB Tag: Written and Oral
Communication)
9-33. Message Strategies: Persuasive Business Messages
Subject: Two Employees for the Price of One?
Dear Martina,
Imagine if the company could retain two valuable employees and their institutional knowledge
who otherwise might need to seek part-time employment elsewhere? And imagine if this could
be done at a cost of about one employee’s salary?
Job sharing allows two workers working a part-time or reduced-time basis to perform a job
normally fulfilled by one person working full-time. Since all positions are shared thus leads to a
net reduction in per-employee income. The people sharing the job work as a team to complete
the job task and are equally responsible for the job workload.
Job sharing could help our company with turnover, productivity, and cost cutting. I’m hoping
you will recommend job sharing to company management so we can start enjoying these
benefits!
Sincerely,
Dave
(LO 9.2; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
9-34. Message Strategies: Persuasive Business Messages
Subject line: Walking our way to healthier bottom line
Dear Brent,
Pick up any health issues magazine today and you’ll find an article about the hazards to workers
from a sedentary work style, sitting slumped at their desks all day. I know that this is of concern
Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.
Thanks,
Stasia
(LO 9.2; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
9-35. Message Strategies: Persuasive Business Messages
Note: Students may use catchy social media language to grab the reader’s attention. This
informality, however, should not carry throughout the message as its misuse in the workplace is
the main message. To better make the case against inappropriate writing, students should take
extra care to ensure professional, clean, concise writing for this message.
communication, more attention needs to be paid to the style and quality of communication. Many
of us seem to have interpreted “authentic and conversational” to mean “anything goes.” And the
first to go have been grammar and spelling, closely followed by common sense and common
courtesy, txtg language, acronyms, ALL CAPS, unedited videos, internal disagreements, crude
language—all this and more have been evident in the social media communication environment
organization is to use the same care in developing electronic messages as in writing a formal
letter. Take a few seconds to think about the purpose of your message and the needs of your
audience, choose your structure and words carefully, and revise and proofread your message for
9-36. Message Strategies: Requests for Action
To: SunilK@Achieva.com
From: JosephineP@Achieva.com
Subject: Product Launch Management is Top Priority
9-37. Message Strategies: Persuasive Business Messages
Note: Take advantage of the fact that Sparks has already expressed an interest in finding
9: Writing Persuasive Messages
9-21
promising investment opportunities. Open with a statement that indicates you heard her
comments at the luncheon, and that your email is a response to those remarks. Use the AIDA
and translation services for business professionals. The demand for these services is widespread:
within two months of opening, our office was booked to capacity. WorldConnect’s ongoing
success reflects a strong commitment to growth through knowing our customers’ needs and
meeting them in every way.
Our company’s success in Memphis is only the beginning. I’ve researched the entire Southeast
9-38. Message Strategies: Persuasive Claims and Requests for Adjustment
To: JudyHinkley@InstantCall
From: BrigidPreston@gmail.com
Subject: Adjustment Required to Address Phone Issues
Copyright © 2019 Pearson Education, Inc.
9-39. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages
Imagine basing your business in a state where operating costs are low, and the quality of living is
high. Well, you don’t have to imagine. You can Think Kentucky.
Our business-friendly attitude manifests itself in many ways, including statewide Kentucky
9-40. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages
Note: Students have an opportunity with this message to present positive, helpful, and welcome
information, if presented correctly. Be sure to include as much information as needed for the
conscientious parent who might consider this opportunity.
Dear Parents,
Copyright © 2019 Pearson Education, Inc.
is a low-impact sport, leading to lower rates of injuries compared to other sports. The game also
teaches basic water safety skills to players.
Water polo is fundamentally a team sport. The club structure of the game fosters camaraderie
and cooperation amongst the players. Through the game, your child will learn to make new
friends and compete in a safe, fun environment. It improves other skills as well, such as planning
9-41. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages
Responses will vary based on the music act selected. Well-written responses might include
9-42. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages; Media Skills: Social Networking
Note: These messages should be clear, concise, and informative. This isn’t the place for intense
marketing or sales tactics. Students should focus on providing reliable and relevant information
that sets a solid foundation for additional information the public may seek from other sources.
Copyright © 2019 Pearson Education, Inc.
9-43. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages; Media Skills: Social Networking
Note: Students should keep in mind that this message is written by students for perspective
students. Wording of the message should be such that it appeals to student needs and tastes,
focusing on what is important to them as they prepare for a new chapter in their lives. This gives
9-44. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages; Media Skills: Microblogging
Note: This exercise in microblogging should challenge students to keep messages informative,
but also short and concise. Weeding out extraneous information will keep messages on track
while gaining customer interest. These Tweets promote plantable seed-paper stationary and gift
Copyright © 2019 Pearson Education, Inc.
9-45. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages; Media Skills: Social Networking
Responses will vary based on the team’s academic strengths and the subject areas in which they
9-46. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages; Media Skills: Social Networking
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IMPROVE YOUR GRAMMAR, MECHANICS, AND USAGE
Level 1: Self-Assessment—Commas
9-47. Please send us four cases of filters, two cases of wing nuts, and a bale of rags. (AACSB
Tag: Written and oral communication)
9-49. As a matter of fact, she has seen the figures. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral
communication)
9-51. After Martha has gone, talk to me about promoting her. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral
9-52. Stoneridge, Inc., will go public on September 9, 2020. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral
communication)
9-56. The company started attracting attention during the long, hard recession of the mid-1970s.
(AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
9-60. With your help, we will soon begin. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
9-61. She may hire two new representatives, or she may postpone filling those territories until
9-63. What makes this development possible are the technological advances in today’s
workplace. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
9-64. We have up-to-date physical safeguards, such as secure areas in buildings; electronic
9-65. When asked why BASF needs to bring in a consultant after so many years, Merritt Sink,
9-66. Looking at just one growth indicator, you can see that imports to the United States from
China ballooned to $102 billion in 2015, compared with $15 billion in 2004. Or: Just one
9-68. In other countries, while the local labor laws may be comparable to or even more stringent
9-69. Motor Co., South Korea’s largest automotive producer, is building a $1 billion assembly
9-70. The long-term success of some Internet products rests heavily on broadband’s wide
acceptance. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
9-72. Correct. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
9-74. People who think they know what a CEO does are probably wrong, according to Eric
9-75. Dr. Ichak Adizes, who founded the Adizes Institute, headquartered in Santa Barbara,
9-76. The best job description in the world won’t provide you with a trusted executive; only
finely honed interviewing skills will help you do that. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral
communication)
Level 3: Document Critique
To: <Promotional Customer List2>
From: Sasha Morgenstern <smorgenstern@insure.com>
Copyright © 2019 Pearson Education, Inc.
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