Business Communication Chapter 9 Writing Persuasive Messages Aacsb Tag Written And Oral Communication Here Are The

9: Writing Persuasive Messages

9-15

(LO 9.4; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)

9-29. Here are the problematic claims:

1. I am considered (By whom?)

5. Authority on employee health-insurance programs (employee health insurance is a vast

6. Universally positive feedback (No one has ever been dissatisfied about any aspect of

service? Seems hard to believe.)

7. They also love (“Love” is an awfully strong word to use here.)

8. Hundreds and hundreds of hours (This is vague; is it two hundred or nine hundred?

Does every client realize the same degree of time savings, or is this an average?)

10. Every degree of savings possible (This essentially promises perfect service; what expert

can make such a claim and deliver on it every single time?)

11. “Best advice ever!” (The best advice ever received on any topic?)

12. “An unbelievable amount” (Why is it unbelievable?)

Here is a revised version of the message:

As a recipient of America’s Health Insurance Plans 2010 Provider of the Year, I am

considered one of the country’s foremost authorities on implementing employee health

insurance programs. My clients offer positive feedback on the programs I’ve designed for

them. They also remark about how much time the programs I implement save them—an

9-30. The overall message is blandly presented; the message needs more punch through the use

of action words, colorful verbs and adjectives, and enthusiastic tone. The routine opening

does not fully catch the reader’s attention, and some of the audience will not finish reading

the brochure. This brochure would benefit from identifying a key selling point and how the

audience can benefit. The reader’s interest should be aroused before the price is mentioned.

Although the features are identified, they are not presented in an easy-to-read format. The

closing also lacks enthusiasm and needs a push for immediate action.

9: Writing Persuasive Messages

9-16

final sales tag line. In the P.S., make a special timely offer.

Here is a revised version of the message:

SCRUBADUB CAR WASHES

Serving car owners from 11 convenient locations

in Massachusetts and Rhode Island

Bob and Dan Paisner, Owners

Your “Best Defense Against a Dirty World” just got better!

How would you like a FREE car wash the next time your beauty gets rained on or

thrashed by salt, slush, or snow?

Don’t you just hate it when that happens the day after you’ve had your car washed and

waxed? We do, too! That’s why we’ve created ScrubaDub’s latest innovation in car-wash

9-31. Using emotional appeals is ethical, unless you have distorted the truth or used words that

can be misinterpreted. Your posting should include clear benefits and allow readers the

freedom to choose. This exercise is a good chance to discuss how peer and company

pressure can make people feel manipulated into contributing to a cause. (LO 9.4; AACSB

Tag: Ethical understanding and reasoning)

EXPAND YOUR SKILLS

Critique the Professionals: Students’ responses should contain detailed evaluations of the

examples they find based on specific criteria from the chapter. For example, they might assess

how well the companies’ pages reflect the techniques listed, whether or not they avoid the types

of faulty logic listed, and the common mistakes outlined. They might also determine whether and

CASE SOLUTIONS

On the following pages are suggested solutions for this chapter’s cases.

9-32. Message Strategies: Persuasive Business Messages

Note: Here are three high-profile executives who use Twitter to reach their stakeholders.

9: Writing Persuasive Messages

9-18

Twitter lets top CEOs connect directly and personally with customers and others instantly, in 140

characters or less: http://twitter.com

Richard Branson uses Twitter to focus on Virgin’s CSR efforts and to connect on a personal

level. See http://twitter.com/richardbranson.

Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg uses Twitter to speak directly to consumers and to get news out in

real-time: http://twitter.com/finkd.

Tony Hsieh’s frequent updates and authentic voice on http://twitter.com/zappos make even

company news feel like a chat among friends. (LO 9.3; AACSB Tag: Written and Oral

Communication)

9-33. Message Strategies: Persuasive Business Messages

Subject: Two Employees for the Price of One?

Dear Martina,

Imagine if the company could retain two valuable employees and their institutional knowledge

who otherwise might need to seek part-time employment elsewhere? And imagine if this could

be done at a cost of about one employee’s salary?

Job sharing allows two workers working a part-time or reduced-time basis to perform a job

normally fulfilled by one person working full-time. Since all positions are shared thus leads to a

net reduction in per-employee income. The people sharing the job work as a team to complete

the job task and are equally responsible for the job workload.

Job sharing could help our company with turnover, productivity, and cost cutting. I’m hoping

you will recommend job sharing to company management so we can start enjoying these

benefits!

Sincerely,

Dave

(LO 9.2; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)

9-34. Message Strategies: Persuasive Business Messages

Subject line: Walking our way to healthier bottom line

Dear Brent,

Pick up any health issues magazine today and you’ll find an article about the hazards to workers

from a sedentary work style, sitting slumped at their desks all day. I know that this is of concern

Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.

Thanks,

Stasia

(LO 9.2; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)

9-35. Message Strategies: Persuasive Business Messages

Note: Students may use catchy social media language to grab the reader’s attention. This

informality, however, should not carry throughout the message as its misuse in the workplace is

the main message. To better make the case against inappropriate writing, students should take

extra care to ensure professional, clean, concise writing for this message.

communication, more attention needs to be paid to the style and quality of communication. Many

of us seem to have interpreted “authentic and conversational” to mean “anything goes.” And the

first to go have been grammar and spelling, closely followed by common sense and common

courtesy, txtg language, acronyms, ALL CAPS, unedited videos, internal disagreements, crude

language—all this and more have been evident in the social media communication environment

organization is to use the same care in developing electronic messages as in writing a formal

letter. Take a few seconds to think about the purpose of your message and the needs of your

audience, choose your structure and words carefully, and revise and proofread your message for

9-36. Message Strategies: Requests for Action

To: SunilK@Achieva.com

From: JosephineP@Achieva.com

Subject: Product Launch Management is Top Priority

9-37. Message Strategies: Persuasive Business Messages

Note: Take advantage of the fact that Sparks has already expressed an interest in finding

9: Writing Persuasive Messages

9-21

promising investment opportunities. Open with a statement that indicates you heard her

comments at the luncheon, and that your email is a response to those remarks. Use the AIDA

and translation services for business professionals. The demand for these services is widespread:

within two months of opening, our office was booked to capacity. WorldConnect’s ongoing

success reflects a strong commitment to growth through knowing our customers’ needs and

meeting them in every way.

Our company’s success in Memphis is only the beginning. I’ve researched the entire Southeast

9-38. Message Strategies: Persuasive Claims and Requests for Adjustment

To: JudyHinkley@InstantCall

From: BrigidPreston@gmail.com

Subject: Adjustment Required to Address Phone Issues

9-39. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages

Imagine basing your business in a state where operating costs are low, and the quality of living is

high. Well, you don’t have to imagine. You can Think Kentucky.

Our business-friendly attitude manifests itself in many ways, including statewide Kentucky

9-40. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages

Note: Students have an opportunity with this message to present positive, helpful, and welcome

information, if presented correctly. Be sure to include as much information as needed for the

conscientious parent who might consider this opportunity.

Dear Parents,

is a low-impact sport, leading to lower rates of injuries compared to other sports. The game also

teaches basic water safety skills to players.

Water polo is fundamentally a team sport. The club structure of the game fosters camaraderie

and cooperation amongst the players. Through the game, your child will learn to make new

friends and compete in a safe, fun environment. It improves other skills as well, such as planning

9-41. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages

Responses will vary based on the music act selected. Well-written responses might include

9-42. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages; Media Skills: Social Networking

Note: These messages should be clear, concise, and informative. This isn’t the place for intense

marketing or sales tactics. Students should focus on providing reliable and relevant information

that sets a solid foundation for additional information the public may seek from other sources.

9-43. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages; Media Skills: Social Networking

Note: Students should keep in mind that this message is written by students for perspective

students. Wording of the message should be such that it appeals to student needs and tastes,

focusing on what is important to them as they prepare for a new chapter in their lives. This gives

9-44. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages; Media Skills: Microblogging

Note: This exercise in microblogging should challenge students to keep messages informative,

but also short and concise. Weeding out extraneous information will keep messages on track

while gaining customer interest. These Tweets promote plantable seed-paper stationary and gift

9-45. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages; Media Skills: Social Networking

Responses will vary based on the team’s academic strengths and the subject areas in which they

9-46. Message Strategies: Marketing and Sales Messages; Media Skills: Social Networking

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IMPROVE YOUR GRAMMAR, MECHANICS, AND USAGE

Level 1: Self-Assessment—Commas

9-47. Please send us four cases of filters, two cases of wing nuts, and a bale of rags. (AACSB

Tag: Written and oral communication)

9-49. As a matter of fact, she has seen the figures. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral

communication)

9-51. After Martha has gone, talk to me about promoting her. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral

9-52. Stoneridge, Inc., will go public on September 9, 2020. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral

communication)

9-56. The company started attracting attention during the long, hard recession of the mid-1970s.

(AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)

9-60. With your help, we will soon begin. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)

9-61. She may hire two new representatives, or she may postpone filling those territories until

9-63. What makes this development possible are the technological advances in today’s

workplace. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)

9-64. We have up-to-date physical safeguards, such as secure areas in buildings; electronic

9-65. When asked why BASF needs to bring in a consultant after so many years, Merritt Sink,

9-66. Looking at just one growth indicator, you can see that imports to the United States from

China ballooned to $102 billion in 2015, compared with $15 billion in 2004. Or: Just one

9-68. In other countries, while the local labor laws may be comparable to or even more stringent

9-69. Motor Co., South Korea’s largest automotive producer, is building a $1 billion assembly

9-70. The long-term success of some Internet products rests heavily on broadband’s wide

acceptance. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)

9-72. Correct. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)

9-74. People who think they know what a CEO does are probably wrong, according to Eric

9-75. Dr. Ichak Adizes, who founded the Adizes Institute, headquartered in Santa Barbara,

9-76. The best job description in the world won’t provide you with a trusted executive; only

finely honed interviewing skills will help you do that. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral

communication)

Level 3: Document Critique

To: <Promotional Customer List2>

From: Sasha Morgenstern <smorgenstern@insure.com>

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