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Lecture Notes
Chapter 9: Developing Intercultural Relationships
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
1. Recount the fundamental assumptions of the uncertainty reduction theory
2. Describe how empathy and similarity affect intercultural relationships
3. Compare relational intimacy across cultures
4. Compare and contrast relationships in Eastern and Western cultures
5. Describe factors that affect mate selection across cultures
6. Compare marital types and divorce rates across cultures
CHAPTER OVERVIEW
Initiating and maintaining relationships with others is one of the most necessary and challenging
functions of human survival. Our self-concept and self-esteem is sustained largely on the substance of
our relationships with others. From our relational partners we receive feedback that we use to assess
ourselves. In essence, the only way we know ourselves is through our relationships with others. Our
existence is relative to other people.
Regardless of one’s cultural origins, relationships provide the substance of life. In this chapter, a variety
of topics associated with relationships will be explored. The first section deals with uncertainty
reduction and factors that affect how people go about reducing uncertainty, including intercultural
communication apprehension and socio-communicative style. The next part of the chapter focuses on
empathy, third culture building, and similarity. The third part of the chapter examines how perceptions
about relationships vary across cultures with particular emphasis on how relationships are perceived in
Eastern and Western cultures. The final part of the chapter looks at marital relationships, including
mate selection across cultures, arranged marriages, and divorce.
CHAPTER OUTLINE
I. Communication and Uncertainty
1. Initiating communication with a stranger, particularly a person from a different culture, can be
frightening. A communication theory called Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT) is an attempt
to explain our communication behavior during initial communication encounters with others.
The major premise guiding this theory is that when strangers first meet, their primary goal is to
reduce uncertainty and increase the predictability about the behavior of themselves and the
other person. The original theory consists of seven axioms.
2. Although people in any culture seek to reduce uncertainty, the verbal and nonverbal
communication strategies people use to reduce uncertainty varies from culture to culture.
People from high context cultures try to reduce uncertainty in initial encounters but the nature
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of the information they seek seems to be different than that sought by persons from low
context cultures.
a. Because much of the information resides in the context as opposed to the individual,
persons from high context cultures are more cautious concerning what they talk about
with strangers.
b. Certain types of information are more important sources of uncertainty to persons in
high context cultures than in low context cultures, including the other’s social
background, knowing whether others will behave in a socially appropriate manner,
knowing that others understand individuals’ feelings, knowing what others mean when
they communicate, and knowing whether others will make allowances for individuals
when they communicate.
II. Anxiety Uncertainty Management Theory of Effective Communication
1. AUM and Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT) are similar in that each theory focuses on the
effects of uncertainty and anxiety on communication. AUM shifts the focus from uncertainty
and anxiety reduction to uncertainty and anxiety management. AUM also incorporates the
concepts of mindfulness and communication effectiveness. The focus of AUM is toward
effective communication; that is, to the extent that interactants can manage uncertainty and
anxiety, and be mindful, effective communication can be achieved.
2. In addition to uncertainty and anxiety, AUM incorporates the concepts of mindfulness and
communication effectiveness. Mindfulness refers to the idea that most of the time, people are
not acutely aware of their behavior, that they operate on a kind of automatic pilot. To be sure,
many communicative acts are routine or habitual and do not require intense cognitive attention.
Mindfulness, on the other hand, refers to a person’s conscious attention to incoming
information. A mindful communicator is open to new information and the processing of new
categories. Mindful communicators perceive aspects of the self and others that mindless
communicators miss.
III. Uncertainty Reduction and Intercultural Communication Apprehension
1. One factor which may affect how persons reduce uncertainty is whether they experience
intercultural communication apprehension. Because intercultural communication is loaded with
novelty and dissimilarity, people might experience inordinate amounts of anxiety that inhibit the
ability to reduce uncertainty.
a. f uncertainty is above our maximum tolerance level we may feel uncomfortable
communicating. If uncertainty is below your minimum threshold, you may find the
interaction dull and uninteresting.
b. Uncertainty and anxiety are related such that as uncertainty increases so does anxiety.
Like uncertainty, you have maximum and minimum thresholds for anxiety. When
anxiety is above your maximum tolerance level, you will experience so much anxiety
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that you may even evade interacting with others or withdraw from communication.
When anxiety is below your minimum levels, you may feel unmotivated to reduce
uncertainty.
2. Although faced with large amounts uncertainty and anxiety during initial intercultural
communication, an individual’s communication style may enable him/her to effectively reduce
uncertainty. Two dimensions of communication style are called assertiveness and
responsiveness.
IV. An Intercultural Conversation about Uncertainty Reduction and Socio-Communicative Style
1. In the intercultural conversations presented in this chapter, we see how an individual’s socio-
communicative style affects uncertainty reduction during initial intercultural communication. In
the first conversation we see Dan, who is from the United States, interacting with Natasha, who
is from Ukraine. Dan seems unassertive and unresponsive. In the second conversation we see
Jim, who is from the United States, interacting with Foday who is from Sierre Leone. In
comparison to Dan, Jim seems assertive and responsive. Jim’s assertiveness and responsiveness
helps him reduce uncertainty about Foday and Sierre Leone.
V. Assessing Socio-Communicative Orientation/Style
1. Assertiveness and responsiveness are measured using scales developed by McCroskey and
Richmond. These scales have been used successfully in other cultures, including China, Finland,
Japan, Korea, and Russia. Note, however, that these scales were designed to measure
assertiveness and responsiveness as defined in the United States and may not be generalizable
across all cultures. In fact, studies examining assertiveness and responsiveness across cultures
have reported differences.
VI. Empathy and Similarity in Relationship Development
1. As uncertainty is reduced, people get to know each other more and can work on developing
their relationship. The ability to empathize with someone is a crucial ingredient in any
relationship. Empathy takes on added importance in intercultural relationships, however.
Because persons from other cultures are different than we are, it may be difficult for us to
empathize with them, their ideas, and their style of communication.
2. Empathy is often defined as the degree to which we can accurately infer another’s thoughts or
feelings. This definition is inadequate for the study of intercultural communication. Broome
offers what he calls a model of relational empathy. Broome argues that because our thoughts
and perceptions are based on our unique personal, cultural, sociocultural, and individual past
experiences we can never completely comprehend or directly know what another is thinking or
feeling.
3. Intercultural researcher Donald Klopf maintains that we can approach empathy with others by
developing empathic listening skills. Empathic listening means listening more to the meanings
than to the words of another person.
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VII. Similarity
1. A great deal of research has demonstrated that similarity plays a key role in the establishment
and development of relationships. Intercultural researchers have found that the more we
perceive another as similar to ourselves, the more we are able to reduce uncertainty about the
person and form accurate categories of them.
VIII. Perceptions of Relational Intimacy Across Cultures
2. Although the same types of relationships exist across cultures, the level of intimacy varies
considerably. Gudykunst and Nishida studied the influence of culture on perceptions of
intimacy and communication behavior between the United States and Japan. They reasoned
that because of their collectivistic tendencies, the Japanese students would perceive ingroup
relationships as more intimate than would United States students who are individualistic. They
also maintained that because Japan is considered a masculine-oriented culture where sex roles
are clearly differentiated, these types of relationships (e.g., lover, spouse, boy/girlfriend) would
be perceived as less intimate than in the United States.
IX. Eastern and Western Cultures and Relationships
1. In individualistic cultures like the United States, relationships are typically viewed from the
perspective of the self. Individualists see themselves as distinct individuals who participate in
relationships to maximize their own self-interests. In many collectivistic cultures, like China,
relationships are guided by Confucianism.
a. The fundamental theme of Confucianism is that proper relationships form the
cornerstone of society.
2. Relational partners in Eastern cultures engage in long-term and asymmetrical reciprocity
whereas in many Western cultures, short-term symmetrical reciprocity is practiced, sometimes
contractually.
3. Another difference between Eastern and Western relationships is that in many Eastern cultures
there is a clear difference between who is and is not a member of the ingroup and outgroup.
4. A fourth difference between relationships of Eastern and Western cultures is the use of
intermediaries (i.e., go-betweens). Many Eastern cultures require intermediaries.
X. Interethnic and Interracial Relationships and Marriages
1. The most common type of marriage practice is monogamy; that is, marriage between one man
and one woman. Monogamy is practiced in the United States and in most western cultures.
Most cultures prefer not to limit the number of spouses available to a person. These cultures
practice polygamy; that is, marriage to more than one spouse. Contrary to popular belief,
polygamy is not the practice of a husband having multiple wives. Actually, there are two types
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of polygamy, including polygyny, where a man has multiple wives, and polyandry, where a
woman has more than one husband. According to Howard, polygyny is permitted in the
majority of societies.
2. The number of interracial marriages in the United States is growing. In 2013, 12% of newlyweds
married someone of a different race, although this statistic does not include interethnic
marriages between Hispanic/Latinos and non-Hispanic/Latinos. Some racial groups are more
likely to intermarry than others. Of the 3.6 million adults who got married in 2013, 58% of Native
Americans, 28% of Asian Americans, 19% of Black Americans, and 7% of White Americans
married someone of a different race. She also notes that Black men are much more likely than
Black women to marry someone of a different race.
3. A common assumption is that interethnic and interracial relationships experience more
difficulties than intraethnic or intraracial relationships because of the cultural or ethnic
differences. And evidence suggests that interracial marriages are more likely to end in divorce
than are intraracial marriages. About two thirds of interracial marriages end in divorce,
compared with 40% to 50% for all marriages. Interracial partners may face obstacles that
intraracial partners do not. For example, interracial couples are often stared at in public; are
negatively stereotyped; face social network opposition, including pressure not to marry; are
discriminated against by restaurant staff, real-estate agents, hotel managers, and retail clerks;
and experience obscene phone calls, hate mail, and vandalized property. Ethnic and/or racial
differences might also intensify conflict management differences.
4. In addition to the growing number of interracial marriages, American attitudes about these
relationships are changing. Eighty-six percent of Black respondents said their families would
welcome a White, Asian, or Hispanic person into their family. Among White Americans, 66% said
they would accept Hispanics or Asian Americans, but only 55% would accept a Black person.
Among Hispanics, 86% would accept White Americans, 79% would accept Asian Americans, and
74% would accept Black Americans. Among Asian Americans, 77% would accept White
Americans, 71% would accept Hispanics, and 66% would accept Black Americans.
XI. Intercultural Relational Maintenance
1. A substantial body of literature in the social sciences has emerged focusing on relational
maintenance, which centers on how relational partners uphold and sustain their established
relationships. A typology of seven relational maintenance behaviors that couples use to sustain
their relationships includes: self-disclosure, relationship talk, positivity, understanding,
assurances, networks, and tasks.
2. Two additional relational maintenance behaviors might affect intercultural relationships include
open communication and support.
3. Although gay and lesbian couples are not fully accepted in many societies, they rely on the same
type of maintenance behaviors as those reported by heterosexual couples, with the exception of
two particular relationship maintenance behaviors, including (a) gay/lesbian supportive
environments and (b) being the same as heterosexual couples.
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XII. The Internet as Relational Maintenance
1. The Internet has profoundly changed the way humans communicate. Estimates vary, but we can
be sure that billions of people across the planet use the Internet to connect with others. One of
the primary Internet tools for initiating and maintaining relationships is its social networking
sites, such as Facebook and Twitter. Facebook use is motivated by two primary needs: the need
to belong and the need for self-presentation. Persons in collectivistic cultures are conditioned
to want to belong and may use Facebook to satisfy that need. Members of individualistic
cultures are more likely to share private information on Facebook and more likely to raise
controversial topics, compared with Facebook users from collectivistic cultures.
a. White Americans, Vietnamese Americans, Indian Americans, Latin Americans/Caribbean
Islanders, and
b. Black Americans use different strategies in self-presentation constructions on Facebook.
c. Fifty million Japanese (i.e., 40% of the population) use Line, an application for instant
communication on smartphones, tablets, and personal computers. Japanese Line users
can exchange text messages, photos, videos, and conduct free conversations and video
conferences. The second-most used social media in Japan is Twitter, which has 26
million monthly users. Wong notes that Japan is the only market where Twitter is more
popular than Facebook. Twitter is so popular among Japanese, especially young
Japanese, primarily because of their anonymity on it.
d. There are over 350 million Internet users in India. That’s more people than there are in
the United States. Internet use in India is not distributed equally, with the majority of
users residing in urban locations. Connection speeds in India are slow compared to most
countries and that the average Internet user spends 5 hours a day online. Of those,
there are over 140 million users of Facebook, with men accounting for nearly 75% of
those users. For women, Facebook functions to do more than initiate and maintain
friendships; it gives them a voice to air their grievances and expose the sexual violence
inflicted against them in a social system where such violence is often ignored (recall the
e. In 2016, 120 million Africans use Facebook. Most of those users are in Nigeria, South
Africa, and Kenya. Overall, only about 9 % of Africans use social media. Social media use
in Africa is much like that anywhere else on the planet where users discuss life, love,
politics, and philosophy.
f. Social media users in Mexico use Facebook more than any other social media site. In
2016, over 52 million Mexicans use Facebook. Mexicans use Facebook to initiate and
maintain connections, especially professional connections that are essentially
impossible to make without social media outlets. In small, rural towns in Mexico, where
the economy is largely based on agriculture, making professional connections unrelated
to agriculture is virtually impossible. Teachers in these small towns also recognize the
value of Facebook for their classrooms, using the social media site for a variety of
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classroom projects such as organizing school trips and events, as well as establishing
collaborative projects with other schools in urban areas and even abroad.
2. Facebook and Twitter are used primarily for social interaction with friends with whom users
have a pre-established relationship offline and that they serve mostly to support preexisting
social relations within geographically bound communities. That is, as far as we can tell, most SNS
users are not using social media to initiate new relationships outside their geographical areas.
XIII. Mate Selection Across Cultures
1. Professor David Buss has lead The International Mate Selection Project. The focus of Buss’s
work has been to identify preferences people have when they choose a mate. According to
Buss, scholars from myriad academic fields are interested in mating practices and mate
selection.
2. The purpose of his research was to identify which characteristics individuals value in potential
mates, to identify similarities among countries in their values, to identify the ways cultures differ
in their values, to identify clusters of countries that are similar to each other and to identify sex
differences within each country on the degree of variation of mate selection.
3. Buss and his research collaborators surveyed over 10,000 people from 33 different countries. In
the study, individuals were asked to complete the “Factors in Choosing a Mate” scale and the
“Preferences Concerning a Potential Mate” instruments. After analyzing the completed surveys,
Buss found that in spite of the unique cultural variability associated with each sample, there
were substantial commonalities among all samples.
4. But how people from different cultures define love may differ. Research has found that students
of Asian descent score higher on measures of companionate and pragmatic love styles and
lower on erotic love styles compared with their European-descended counterparts.
5. In comparison with U.S. love songs, Chinese love songs focus on love in the natural world and
love as a value of Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism, with an emphasis on interdependence.
U.S. love songs focus on the love partner without regard to context. Other studies have found
that Chinese concepts of love typically stress love as related to sadness, jealousy, and betrayal,
while U.S. concepts of love equate it with happiness.
6. In another study American and Chinese couples completed the Love Stories Scale, an
instrument designed to assess preferences for 25 metaphors for love. Results showed that
fantasy emerged as a prototypical theme for Americans that was missing from the Chinese
responses. For the Chinese, democracy and history emerged as themes, where the sharing of
power and history between partners was an important ingredient of love. Pornography emerged
in both Chinese and American themes.
7. Another study examined the influence of one’s social network on intention to marry and
relational commitment to another in both China and the United States. The familial network of a
potential mate is highly valued in East Asian cultures, particularly in China. To be sure, however,
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social network support is positively related to relationship development and stability in the
United States as well
XIV. Arranged Marriages
1. In some cultures an individual’s preference in selecting a mate becomes moot because the
person’s marriage is arranged by his/her parents or a trusted family friend and/or mediator. In
many instances, the bride and groom of an arranged marriage do not even meet until the day of
the wedding. In many cultures, a bride price similar to that of a dowry is an essential ingredient
to the arranged marriage. Although not as common as they once were, arranged marriages are
still practiced in a variety of cultures and within some micro-cultural groups in the United States,
such as the Hmong.
XV. Marital Dissolution and Divorce Across Cultures
1. Like marriage practices, divorce customs vary across cultures. In many cultures social and
economic issues often play a role in divorce decisions. Factors such as income, sexual
dissatisfaction, childlessness, women’s equality issues, religion, and the ease with which one can
obtain a divorce all vary across cultures. In general, monogamy is correlated with lower divorce
rates than polygyny.