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CHAPTER 3
COMMUNICATION AND IDENTITY
Objectives
After studying the material in Chapter Three of Looking Out/Looking In, you should understand:
1. Describe the relationship between self- concept, self-esteem, and communication.
2. Explain how self-fulfilling prophecies shape the self-concept and influence communication.
3. Compare and contrast the perceived self and the presenting self as they relate to impression
management.
4. Describe the role that impression management plays in both face-to-face and mediated relationships.
5. Use the social penetration and Johari Window models to identify the nature of self-disclosing
communication in one of your relationships.
6. Outline the potential benefits and risks of disclosing in a selected situation.
7. Assess the most competent mixture of candor and equivocation in a given situation.
Notes on Class and Student Activities
1. Ego Boosters and Busters
(3.3 in Student Activities Manual or Pause & Reflect in MindTap Ch 3: Communication and the Self)
Objectives
To enable the student to see how messages from others affect his or her self-concept.
To enable the student to understand how his or her communication affects the self-concept of others.
Discussion Questions
1. What sorts of things were “busters”? Why did they affect your self-concept negatively? What sorts
of things were “boosters”?
2. Are there any differences of opinions among class members about what indicates a booster or
buster? Why might that occur? Are there any universal boosters and busters?
3. Is it possible to always send booster messages and avoid sending intentional and unintentional
busters? If not, how can one deal with this state of affairs?
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2. Reevaluating Your Can’ts (3.4 in Student Activities Manual)
Objectives
To demonstrate how an obsolete self-concept becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that keeps the student
from growing.
To help students understand the many ways they can change and develop their communication habits.
Instructions
Complete Reevaluating Your Can’ts as in the Student Activity Manual or lead them in a discussion
having students suggest some common “I can’t” statements (e.g., “I can’t pass math,” “I can’t keep my
house clean,” “I can’t find time to spend with my children/friend/spouse.”) Analyze the statements by
replacing the “I can’t” portion with “I won’t because_____” or “I haven’t yet because_____.”
Discussion Questions
1. What did you discover about the differences between being unable and unwilling to do something?
2. What are some of the negative consequences that result from believing you “can’t” do something?
3. How do “can’t” and “won’t” affect our abilities to accomplish goals?
4. How can you turn your “because” insights into productive actions?
5. What do you learn about yourselves, if anything, from doing this activity?
3.
Your Personal Coat of Arms
Objectives
To help the group members search out some of the important and positive aspects of their identities.
To further acquaint the class members with each other.
Options
You may assign this as an out-of-class activity. Students may use pictures from magazines, snapshots,
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or their artistic talents to complete their own “coats of arms.”
Display the completed assignments in the classroom for a few days so that students can see them and
try to guess the owners.
Discussion Questions
1. When you have seen the coats of arms of your whole group, do you find any similarities?
2. In what ways are the coats of arms most alike? What could be an explanation?
3. In what ways are the coats of arms most different? Explain. There are no set answers to these
questions, but they usually promote good discussion, and the search for explanations leads students
to the areas of their lives that they share with most others and also those in which they differ.
Student Instructions
1. Create a personal coat of arms that represents important information about you, such as
A) people who are important to you.
B) locations that are significant to you.
C) activities with which you are associated.
D) personal traits that characterize you.
E) your ambitions.
F) physical features that identify you.
G) talents and skills you have.
H) anything else you think is an important part of you.
2. Remember that you needn’t be a professional artist to complete this activity. This is a getting-
acquainted activity, not a contest.
3. In addition to pencil or pen, you might use other materials to construct your coat of arms: photos,
crayons, felt-tip pens, rub-on letters, paint, and newspaper or magazine clippings.
4. After completing your coat of arms, explain it to other class members.
4. Self-Concept Collage
Objectives
To provide students with opportunity to reflect on the social development of their own self-concepts.
To illustrate reflected appraisal and social comparison.
Instructions
Give students the following assignment. In class, put students in small groups and have them share their
collages with each other. Provide questions (on board or on handout) that can guide their group
discussion, such as:
Discussion Questions
1. Who are the people in our lives who have had the greatest influence on our self-concept? Identify
ego-busters and ego-boosters. Share specific examples of ego-busting or ego-boosting comments
or actions and explain how they have influenced your self-concept.
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2. Relate the discussion in #1 to the textbook concept of reflected appraisal. What does it mean and
how do the people mentioned above play a part in the process? How do these people contribute to the
development of your self-concept?
3. Relate the discussion in #1 to the textbook concept of social comparison. What does it mean and
how do the people mentioned above play a part in the process? Share some specific examples of
comparisons you make between you and significant others. Between you and strangers? How do
other people contribute to the development of your self-concept?
4. Share ways in which you think your current self-concept affects the way you interact in your
interpersonal relationships.
Student Instructions
Purpose
The purpose of this activity is to reflect on and become aware of the people and communication events
that have played and do play a role in the development of your self-concept.
Format
Because this is a creative assignment, no instructions are provided about how to specifically format the
collage. Use words, phrases, quotes, images, drawings, photos, word balloons, etc. Use poster board,
notebooks, photo albums, shoeboxes, fabric, or other materials. Make them 2D or 3D. However be sure
that items are big enough for other class members to see when you share your collage during class time
(in small groups). In your collage, include representations of:
people who are important to you
people who confirm your positive self-concept (ego-boosters) and examples of ego-boosting
comments or behaviors
people who confirm your negative self-concept (ego-busters) and examples of ego-busting
comments or behaviors
people to whom you compare yourself
5. Talking with Little Girls (reading feature MindTap Ch. 3: Culture, Gender and Identity)
Objective
To explore the role culture and communication plays in shaping gender identity.
Instructions
Lead a discussion about the role culture and communication plays in shaping gender identity.
Discussion Questions (associated with Enhance Activity with reading feature MindTap Ch. 3: Culture, Gender
and Identity)
1. Do you think people talk differently to little girls than they talk to little boys? If so, offer
examples.
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2. What impact does communication with children have on the development of their self-
concept and self-esteem?
3. Do you generally agree or disagree with the author’s central point about talking to little girls?
Explain why or why not.
6. Building a Johari Window (MindTap Ch3: Models of Self-Disclosure)
Objective
To apply the Johari Window model to identify and understand the level of self- disclosure in
relationships.
Instructions (drawn from Enhance Activity with MindTap Ch 3: Models of Self-Disclosure)
1. Have students use the format described in this section to draw two Johari Windows
representing the relationship between themselves and one other person. Remember to reverse
one of the windows so that their open area and that of the other person face each other. Then
instruct them to answer the following questions:
2. Describe which parts of yourself you keep in the hidden area. Explain your reasons for doing
so. Describe the advantages or disadvantages or both of not disclosing these parts of yourself.
3. Look at the blind area of your model. Is this area large or small because of the amount of
feedback (much or little) that you get from your partner or because of your willingness to
receive the feedback that is offered?
4. Explain whether you are satisfied with the results illustrated by your answers. If you are not
satisfied, explain what you can do to remedy the problem.
Discussion Questions
1. Through building your Johari Window, what did you discover about your relationship?
2. What, if any, surprises did you discover in your open, hidden, blind or unknown areas?
3. Based on these results, how much your relationship change going forward? Will you disclose
more or less information? How will you handle your blind area? The unknown?
7. Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Objective
To examine the potential risks and benefits of self-disclosure.
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Instructions
Lead a discussion about the appropriate and inappropriate self-disclosure.
Discussion Questions
1. Which guidelines were most relevant when choosing to share a self-disclosing message? Explain.
2. What do you see as the benefits and risks of disclosing this information? To self? To others? To
the relationship?
3. Consider textbook options other than self-disclosure for this situation. What are the pros and cons
of each?
8.
Disclosure and Alternatives (3:10 in Student Activities Manual)
Objective
Understand the range of alternatives to self-disclosure
Assess the effectiveness and ethical nature of the range of alternatives to self-disclosure
Instructions
1. For each situation described in the exercise, record responses for the types listed.
2. Evaluate the effectiveness and ethics of your responses.
Discussion Questions
1. In general, which responses did you feel were the most effective?
2. In general, which responses did you feel were the most ethical?
3. Were the responses you felt were the most effective also the most ethical? Why or why not?
4. What criteria would you use to determine which of the responses to choose in any given
situation?
9. The Ethics of Evasion (MindTap Ch 3: Ethics of Evasion)
Objective
To explore the ethics of honesty and evasion.
To apply critical thinking skills and reason in making ethical determinations.
To explore similarities and differences in ethical positions among class members.
Instructions
1. As explained in the Ethical Challenge feature, have students write an anonymous description of
situations in which they have used lying, equivocating, and hinting. Have them include their
justifications for avoiding truth and any known effects of the evasion of truth. You can also assign
this as on online activity, (MindTap Ch 3: Ethics of Evasion – Apply).
2. Gather students in groups and trade situations among groups. Upon receiving another group’s
papers, each group should act as “morality judges.” Ask them to judge the morality of each truth-
evading situation and try to reach consensus. Students should rate the situations according to “most”
and “least” moral. They should be prepared to explain their decisions.
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Discussion Questions
1. Which situations did you find to be most and least moral? Explain.
2. What justifications were most acceptable for each of the different types of evasion, and why?
3. How easy or difficult was it for your group to reach consensus in judging the morality of these
situations?
4. Did your group hold a more rigid view of honesty, much like Kant? Or was your view more relative
and dependent upon the situation?
5. Did your group judge morality more often by the speaker’s motives? Or by the effects of the lie?
6. How many of the written situations passed the “test of publicity?”
Sample Quiz
1. People who think highly of themselves are likely to think highly of others too.
2. The self-concept is a constantly changing set of perceptions that others have of you.
3. The face you try to show to others is called the perceived self.
4. A high level of self-esteem guarantees interpersonal success.
5. Silence is never an appropriate alternative to self-disclosure because it indicates a lack of interest in
the relationship.
6. Which of the following is not an example of a self-fulfilling prophecy?
a. A child fails a test after hearing her teacher tell her mother that she never does well on tests.
b. A student who previously complained of stage fright loses his place during a class speech
and can’t go on.
c. A husband reluctantly agrees, with reservations, to his wife’s request that they spend the
holiday visiting Disneyland. He has a terrible time.
d. Both b and c above qualify as examples of self-fulfilling prophecies.
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e. All of the above qualify as examples of self-fulfilling prophecies.
7. To say that identity management is collaborative means that
a. both people communicating agree with each other.
b. each person creates an identity in response to the other’s behavior.
c. each person creates a similar identity.
d. both people decide on their identities together.
e. none of the above.
8. Chandra looking at many different Facebook profiles and then feeling better about herself is an
example of
a. reflected appraisal.
b. social comparison.
c. self-fulfilling prophecy.
d. identity management.
e. presenting self.
9. To qualify as self-disclosure, a statement must
a. involve feelings.
b. be deliberate, significant, and not otherwise known.
c. be reciprocated by the same type of statement from a partner.
d. involve intimate information.
e. be shared privately.
10. A benevolent lie
a. is considered nonmalicious.
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b. is never appropriate for someone who has morals.
c. will generally hurt another.
d. will only be considered helpful in extreme situations.
e. None of these answers are correct are true.
INSTRUCTIONS for questions 11- : Match each description below with the most accurate term.
a. reflected appraisal
b. significant other
c. cognitive conservatism
d. presenting self
e. perceived self
11. The private self you honestly believe you are.
12. The tendency to cling to an existing self-concept.
13. A person whose opinion we especially value.
14. Process of judging ourselves by the evaluations of others.
15. The “face” you show to others.
16. Explain how you managed impressions with others in a recent important event in your life. Cite the
reasons why you managed impressions and then evaluate the way you presented yourself.
Answer: will vary Type: E Presenting the Self Evaluation
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17. Explain the relationship between self-concept, self-esteem, and communication.
Answer: will vary Type: E Communication and the Self Analysis
18. Explain several ways that mass media and technology contribute to the shaping of our self-concept.
Answer: will vary Type: E Communication and the Self Analysis
19. Using the social penetration model in your text, describe the breadth and depth of one important
interpersonal relationship you have. Explain why you are satisfied/unsatisfied with this relationship.
Answer: will vary Type: E Self-Disclosure in Relationships Evaluation
20. Referring to the reasons for deceit explained in your chapter, analyze a current relationship you are
in according to the degrees of truthfulness and deceit. Are you satisfied with the level of honesty?
Explain your answer.
Answer: will vary Type: E Alternatives to Self-Disclosure
Analysis
