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CHAPTER 11
IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES
Objectives
After studying the material in Chapter Nine of Looking Out/Looking In, you should understand:
1. Identify confirming, disagreeing, and disconfirming messages and patterns in your own important
relationships, and describe their consequences.
2. Describe how the messages you identified in the previous objective either threaten or honor the self
(face) of the communicators involved.
3. Use Gibb’s categories and the assertive message format to create messages that are likely to build
supportive rather than defensive communication climates.
4. Create appropriate nondefensive responses to real or hypothetical criticisms.
Notes on Class and Student Activities
1. Evaluating Communication Climates (MindTap Ch 11: Communication Climate and Confirming
Messages – Pause and Reflect)
Objective
To identify the communication climate in important relationships and to describe the confirming and
disconfirming behaviors that help define this climate.
Instructions
Conduct a class discussion based on “Evaluating Communication Climates” (MindTap Ch 11:
Communication Climate and Confirming Messages – Pause and Reflect). Students can be assigned to
complete the questions online prior to the discussion.
Discussion Questions
1. Did you find that using weather metaphors (sunny, gloomy, calm) to identify the
communication climate of an important interpersonal relationship was helpful?
2. Were you able to easily list the confirming and/or disconfirming communications that
created and now maintain this climate? Why or why not?
3. How can you maintain and enhance the existing climate (if primarily positive) or
improve it (if primarily negative)?
2. Understanding Defensive Responses (11.1 in
Student Activity Manual
)
Objective
Students will identify disagreeing and disconfirming messages and patterns in their important
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relationships, and describe their consequences.
Instructions
Assign “Understanding Defensive Responses” (11.1 in Student Activity Manual) as an individual activity.
In class, have students break into groups to compare answers.
3. Behaviors and Interpretations (MindTap Ch 11: Saving Face – Skill Builder)
Objectives
To help students practice separating behaviors from the interpretations they give to them.
To help students practice being provisional about their interpretations of others’ behaviors.
Instructions
Assign “Behaviors and Interpretations” (MindTap Ch 11: Saving Face – Skill Builder)as an individual
activity. In class, have students break into groups to compare answers and discuss the following questions:
Discussion Questions
1. How difficult is it to separate your observation of behavior from your interpretation of it? Is it easier
now than it was earlier in the class?
2. Why is it important to be tentative and provisional about your interpretations?
4. Defensive and Supportive Language (11.2 in Student Activity Manual)
Objectives
Use Gibb’s categories and the assertive message format to create messages that are likely to
build supportive rather than defensive communication climates.
Use the guidelines in the text to present critical messages in a constructive manner.
Create appropriate nondefensive responses to real or hypothetical criticisms.
Instructions
Assign “Defensive and Supportive Language” (11.2 in Student Activity Manual as an individual activity.
In class, have students break into groups to compare answers.
4. Assessing Your Use of Gibb’s Behaviors
Objectives
Instructions
This activity requires student make an extended time commitment, as well as commitment to honestly explore
their defensive responses in relationships. It’s recommended that the instructor go through the instruction step
by step. For some classes, this activity might be best suited for extra credit.
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Part I
1. Approach an important person in your life, let them know that you’re taking an
interpersonal communication course, and request some help in learning more about
yourself. Inform the other person that your discussion will probably take at least an hour,
so make sure that both of you are prepared to invest the necessary amount of time.
Choose a quiet, private place to meet where you won’t be interrupted.
Note: Make students aware if they don’t want to hear the truth from their partner, don’t try this exercise. Since
this exercise requires a commitment of time and honest sharing, you will want to carefully consider the type of
relationship you have with the person you invite to participate. You might want to consider such questions as “Do
you share a positive communication climate?” “Do you feel safe receiving feedback from this person?” “Has this
person demonstrated that they support your personal growth?”
2. Begin by explaining all twelve of the Gibb behaviors to your partner. Be sure to give
enough examples so that each category is clearly understood. To complete this step, you
will be acting as a teacher. You may find it helpful to prepare in some of the ways a
teacher prepares. Drawing on the information from you text, you might want to create a
chart of the twelve Gibb Behaviors, including at least one example of each. To make the
behaviors relevant to your partner, perhaps you could develop examples from your shared
relationship experiences. You also might find it helpful to practice teaching the behaviors
out loud prior to presenting them to your partner.
3. When your explanation is complete and you’ve answered all of your partner’s questions,
ask him or her to tell you which of the Gibb categories you typically use. Seek specific
examples so that you are certain to understand the feedback fully. Inform your partner
that you are interested in discovering both the defense-arousing and supportive behaviors
that you use and that you are sincerely interested in receiving a candid answer. As your
partner speaks, record the categories that he or she lists in sufficient detail for both of you
to be sure that you have understood the comments.
4. When you have finished recording your partner’s feedback, show it to your partner.
Listen to your partner’s reactions and make any corrections that are necessary to reflect
an accurate understanding of the comments. When your partner feels your list is
complete, have your partner sign it to indicate that you have understood it clearly.
PART II
After you’ve completed your exercise with your partner, spend some time reflecting on your
experience and answer the following questions:
1. How did you feel as your partner was describing you? Be sure to describe the entirety of
your experience. How did you feel physically and emotionally? What thoughts were
running through your head? Was there anything that you wanted to say to them to defend
yourself? If you successfully restrained yourself from defending yourself, how did that
feel?
2. Did you agree with your partner’s evaluation?
3. What effect do you think your use of the Gibb categories has on your relationship with
your partner?
Option for Group Discussion
This exercise can be the foundation for a class discussion about whether after completing this exercise
students have a better understanding of how their behaviors impact others and affect their relationships.
Encourage them to describe the effects and reflect on any changes they might make in the use of the Gibb
categories.
5. Pushing My Buttons
Objective
To identify the words and behaviors that trigger defensiveness.
Instructions
1. In groups, have students create lists of words and behaviors that trigger their defensiveness.
2. Lead them through a discussion about recognizing those triggers/buttons. Relate this back to
chapter four’s rational thinking, and help students dispute any irrational thoughts. This can be a
good prelude to learning to cope with criticism.
6. Writing Assertive Messages (10.3 in Student Activities Manual) or Putting Your Message Together
(MindTap Ch 11: Saving Face – Skill Builder, text, p. 331)
Objectives
To enable the student to practice expressing effective assertive messages.
To enable the student to gain confidence in communicating.
To enable the student to nondefensively get feedback from his or her classmates.
Instructions
Both activities can be assigned as an individual activity to be complete prior to class. The MindTap activity
can also assigned primarily as a group discussion.
Discussion Questions
1. What were some of the characteristics of effective messages?
2. Were the messages difficult to clarify and express? Why or why not?
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3. Was it difficult to receive feedback from classmates? Was some of the feedback you received
useful?
7. “Yes, but . . .”
Objective
To identify common excuse-making that contributes to a defensive climate.
Instructions
1. In groups, have students think about the excuses that they and others give (for being late, out of
money, unprepared, etc.).
2. Describe the ways that we give excuses, and illustrate how this contributes to defensiveness (for
example, saying “Yes, I was ten minutes late” has a different effect than saying, “Yes, I was late,
but the traffic was terrible.”).
3. Have students discuss alternate ways of simply admitting what is true without giving excuses. This
is also a good prelude to learning to cope with criticism.
8. Coping with Criticism (MindTap Ch. 11 – Saving Face – Skill Builder)
Objective
To practice responding nondefensively to criticism.
Instructions
This Skill Builder offers a list of defensive responses to act as the basis for an exploration of
defensive responses and can be completed individually and then practiced by taking turns
with a partner. This can then be followed up with a class discussion.
Picking some students who are “good sports” to role-play some of these situations in front of the class is a good
illustration to class members of “real” people responding in this manner. Encourage students to role-play
situations that are real to them so that the practice is especially meaningful. Sometimes it’s fun and effective to
first role play a defensive response, and then repeat the situation with nondefensive responses.
Discussion Questions
1. How easy or difficult was it to respond nondefensively?
2. Which types of responses are most difficult? Which types are most useful? Explain.
3. What outcomes can you envision from responding defensively? Nondefensively?
4. How easy or difficult might it be to respond nondefensively in real life? Explain. Do you have any
suggestions for how we might remember to respond nondefensively in the moment?
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9.Communication Climate and Job Satisfaction (MindTap Ch 11: Saving Face – On the Job)
Objective
To reflect on the consequences of defensiveness at the workplace.
Instructions
Conduct a class discussion based on “Communication Climate and Job Satisfaction” (MindTap Ch 11:
Saving Face – On the Job Students can be assigned to complete the questions online prior to the
discussion.
Discussion Questions
1. Describe a work situation when you responded defensively to a supervisor’s criticism. What
were the circumstances? In what ways did you respond defensively?
2. What would this same work situation have been like using nondefensive response skills. How
would you imagine that the consequences might have been different?
Sample Quiz
1. The most damaging kind of disconfirming response is disagreeing with the other person.
2. The assertive message format should always be used in the order given in your text for best results.
3. Endorsement is the strongest type of confirming message.
4. When coping with criticism, it isn’t a good idea to ask what else is wrong because it just brings up
too much material to handle at one time.
5. A spiral is always negative.
6. Which of these behaviors is characterized by the use of “we” language?
a. evaluation
b. description
c. problem-orientation
d. strategy
e. provisionalism
7. Cassie felt ignored because Jaime kept playing on his phone during their lunch together. This example
best illustrates which type of disconfirming message?
a. impersonal
b. ambiguous
c. incongruous
d. irrelevant
e. impervious
8. Brianne angrily waited three minutes at the counter before the clerk finished his phone conversation
and signaled awareness that Brianne was waiting. Brianne would’ve felt better if the clerk had at
least __________ her while she was waiting.
a. recognized
b. acknowledged
c. endorsed
d. been assertive with
e. responded nondefensively
9. . Which of the following is an accurate feeling statement?
a. “I feel like you’re angry at me.”
b. “I feel like going home now.”
c. “I feel angry when you laugh at me.”
d. “I feel you ought to be more careful.”
e. All of these answers are correct are feeling statements.
10. . All of the following are behavioral descriptions except
a. “I notice you’re frowning.”
b. “I saw you walk out of the party.”
c. “Your behavior tells me you’re angry.”
d. “You’ve shouted the last three times we’ve discussed money.”
e. “You haven’t said ‘I love you’ in over a week.”
INSTRUCTIONS for questions 11–15: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive
message format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
11. “Whenever we fight, both of us usually wind up regretting it.”
12. “I’m worried about you.”
13. “You’re smoking again after you said you were quitting.”
14. “I’m thinking you just don’t like me.”
15. “I’d like to know whether you are angry.”
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16. Describe two of your important relationships in terms of communication climate. What factors
contribute to the overall climate in each relationship? Describe confirming and disconfirming
behaviors for each relationship that led you to your overall assessment.
Answer: will vary Type: E Analysis
17. Describe a recent incident when you were defensive. Explain which part of your self-concept you
were protecting, and describe the consequences of your defensiveness.
Answer: will vary Type: E Saving Face Synthesis
18. Consider this saying, “I can be right or I can be happy.” Discuss this in terms of
defensiveness/nondefensive concepts from the text, as well as any pertinent Gibb climate components.
Answer: will vary Type: E Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Synthesis
19. Describe an important relationship in which you are involved in terms of a positive or negative
“spiral” of behavior. Indicate how behaviors over the past six months (or any defined segment of
time) have tended to “beget” similar behaviors in your relationship. Comment on the future direction
of your spiral.
Answer: Type: E Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Evaluation
20.Use the Assertive Message Format to respond to one of two situations described below, labeling each
of the five parts of the message.
A friend is in the habit of borrowing your belongings and not returning them to you without you
having to ask for them back several times. Now your friend is returning a sweater of yours and there’s
a stain on it.
One of your friends has been especially supportive lately, has called often, spent time getting you out
socially and even prepared dinner for you to help you get through a difficult time.
Answer: will vary Type: E Saving Face Application