Solutions – Chapter 4 ⚫ 1
CHAPTER 4 SOLUTIONS
Writing Improvement Exercises
Flabby Expressions (Obj. 1)
16. We are sending a revised proposal now because building costs have jumped considerably.
17. Normally, we would seek additional funding; however, because rates have increased, we
cannot.
Long Lead-Ins (Obj. 1)
21. All computer passwords must be changed every six months for security purposes.
22. All employees who want to apply for telecommuting may submit their applications
immediately.
23. Your new account executive is Edward Ho.
24. Cyber criminals use sophisticated tools to decipher passwords rapidly.
25. Social media services can position your company at the forefront of online marketing
opportunities.
There is/are and It is/was Fillers (Obj. 1)
26. A password-checker is now available that can automatically evaluate the strength of your
password.
27. Careless or uninformed individuals are the most vulnerable to computer hackers.
Redundancies (Obj. 1)
31. Because his laptop was small, he could carry it everywhere.
32. A fundamental of computer safety is to avoid storing your password in a file on your
computer because criminals will look there first. OR: Don’t store your password on your
computer because criminals look there first.
Solutions – Chapter 4 ⚫ 2
Empty Words (Obj. 1)
36. Are you aware that social media can drive brand awareness and customer loyalty? OR:
Did you know that social media can drive brand awareness and customer loyalty?
37. Except for MySpace, social networking sites are booming.
Condensing for Microblogging (Obj. 1) Note: Answer may vary.
41. @HTWilson94 We strongly endorse Whole Trade–certified flowers and carry them year
round. Please check with your local store for selection. [138 characters]
42. @AmyJean64 I work for Bank of America. Please DM the property address, your name,
and phone number so we can call you to see how we can help. [130 characters]
Trite Business Phrases (Obj. 2)
47. As you request, I will submit your repair request immediately.
48. Enclosed is the list of customers to be used in our promotion.
49. As you request, we are sending the contract separately.
50. We will try to proceed as you wish.
51. If we may help in any way, please call.
Clichés, Slang, Buzzwords, and Wordiness (Obj. 2)
Note: Student responses may vary considerably from the suggested responses.
52. Our manager insists that we must think creatively in promoting our new kitchen tool.
53. Although we incurred a loss in the last contract, you can be sure we will be firm this time.
Buried Verbs (Obj. 2)
57. After investigating, the fire department concluded that the blaze was set intentionally.
58. Our committee promised to consider your proposal at its next meeting.
59. When used properly, zero-based budgeting can reduce overall costs.
60. Did our department apply for increased budget support?
Solutions – Chapter 4 ⚫ 3
61. The budget committee has not acted on any projects yet.
62. Homeowners must determine the total value of their furnishings.
Lists, Bullets, and Headings (Obj. 3)
63. Three Best Twitter Practices
You can build your online following, reputation, and customers’ trust with three simple
Twitter practices:
64. Computer passwords are a way of life today. To create a strong password, follow these
steps:
1. Think of an easy-to-remember eight-word phrase, such as my goal is a degree in 4
years.
65. In response to your inquiry about how to improve your credit score, four factors are
important:
• On-time payment history. One of the most important items lenders consider is
whether you have a long record of making payments on time.
Solutions – Chapter 4 ⚫ 4
4.1 Radical Rewrite: Information E-Mail—Wretched Invitation
Weaknesses
a. Does not provide a helpful subject line.
b. Starts indirectly with an explanation instead of the main idea: scheduling interviews.
c. Fails to develop reader benefits, such as explaining why the readers should be interested.
d. Sounds negative (you may be disappointed; avoid making poor selections; should not
have to urge you).
Revision
To: Department Managers
From: Aaron Alexander <aalexander@vasco.com>
Subject: Invitation to Help Interview Possible Interns
Cc:
Bcc:
You are invited to help us interview six excellent student candidates for three paid internships.
These potential interns from our local state university could bring fresh ideas and talent to your
projects.