2013, April Guffey Newsletter
Bonus Case Study
Persuasive Message: Miserable Meetings
The following e-mail message suffers from many writing faults, including poor tone and poor
persuasive strategy. It originated with a manager and is addressed to his boss.
Your Task. List at least seven writing weaknesses. Then revise the message implementing an
effective persuasive strategy. Include ideas and examples from your training in conducting and
participating in productive meetings. Consider volunteering to help develop and implement the
policy being requested.
To: Charlotte Cohen <ccohen@mitenterprise>
From: Clint Johnson <cjohnson@mitenterprise>
Subject: Miserable Meetings
Cc:
Attached:
Good morning!
I wonder if you know how bad meetings are around here. We seem to have endless meetings
that drag on and on forever. I myself attended five meetings within the building but also was
forced to participate in three more conference call meetings. And that was just last week! Nearly
every one of those meetings was poorly run. Some should never have been called because
they merely announced information after a decision had already been made. Some could easily
have been handled in an e-mail. Sometimes I think our meetings are really opportunities to
socialize under the guise of “work.” Our meetings are huge time suckers.
Weaknesses
• Fails to develop a logical argument for a persuasive request.
• Sounds flippant, accusatory, and exasperated rather than helpful.
• Should capture attention by describing the problem from the viewpoint of the
organization.
• Complains but doesn’t fully relate the problem to savings for the organization if meetings
were more efficient.
• Misses an opportunity to build interest in the body by listing a few techniques in which
meetings could easily be made more efficient and productive.
Possible Revision
To: Charlotte Cohen (ccohen@mitenterprise)
From: Clint Johnson (cjohnson@mitenterprise)
Subject: Improving Productivity and Morale With Better Meetings
Cc:
Attached:
Good morning, Ms. Cohen,
This past week I attended five in-house meetings and participated in three conference call
meetings. Some were well-run and necessary; others were poorly run and wasted my time.
Some meetings were actually socializing classified as work, and others merely rehashed
decisions that were already made. One meeting was called to announce information that could
have been sent in an e–mail. I noticed that many participants were as frustrated as I was.
Although most of our managers have business training, some are unaware of how expensive
meetings are in terms of our time and lost productivity. Many simply don’t know how to run
meetings efficiently.
I suggest that our division develop a meeting policy that outlines effective meeting procedures.
Here are a few examples:
