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Chapter 1: A First Look at Interpersonal Communication
Key Concepts
content meaning
dual perspective
ethics
feedback
I–It communication
interactive models
interpersonal communication
interpersonal communication competence
I–Thou communication
I–You communication
linear models
metacommunication
model
monitoring
noise
person-centeredness
process
relationship meaning
symbols
systemic
transactional model
Chapter Outline1
I. The interpersonal imperative
A. Psychologist William Schutz (1966) developed interpersonal needs theory, which
asserts that we create and sustain relationships to meet three basic needs:
1. Affection—the desire to give and receive love and liking
2. Inclusion—the desire to be social and to be included in groups
3. Control—the desire to influence the people and events in our lives
II. Defining interpersonal communication
A.
Interpersonal communication is not defined by the number of people in the interaction or
the context in which the communication occurs.
B.
Martin Buber (1970) identified three levels of communication that can be placed along
a continuum from impersonal to interpersonal:
1. I–It communication occurs when we treat others like objects or nonhumans.
2. I–You communication occurs when we recognize the other as a person and
treat him or her based upon a social role he or she occupies.
3. I–Thou communication occurs when we recognize and understand an
individual’s unique characteristics as well as open ourselves completely to this
1
2
person.
C.
Interpersonal communication can be defined as a selective, systemic process that allows
people to reflect and build personal knowledge about one another and create shared
meanings.
1. Selective—happens only between people who choose to engage each other.
2. Systemic—takes place within various systems or contexts.
a.
All systems include noise, which is anything that distorts communication
or interferes with people’s understandings of one another. Four types of
noise are physiological noise, physical noise, psychological noise, and
semantic noise.
3. Process—an ongoing, continual process that evolves over time, becoming more
personal as people interact.
4. Personal knowledge—each interpersonal relationship is unique, with its own
distinctive patterns, rhythms, and vocabulary. As the relationship deepens, the
parties build trust and learn to communicate in ways that make each other feel
comfortable and safe.
5. Meaning creating—attaching meanings to the words we exchange requires
knowledge of the other person and the relationship in which we are engaged.
a.
Content meanings are literal or denotative.
b.
Relationship meanings are what communication expresses about
relationship between communicators.
III. Models of interpersonal communication
A.
Models help us understand the historical roots from which our current views of
communication grew.
1.
Linear models treated communication as a one-way process in which one person
transmitted a message to another person.
a.
Lasswell’s (1948) model answered the following five questions:
Who? Says what? In what channel? To whom? With what effect?
b.
Shannon and Weaver’s model added the feature of noise, which is
anything that interferes with communication.
c.
However, linear models had serious shortcomings.
1.
They portrayed communication as flowing in only one direction,
from sender to passive receiver.
2.
They represented communication as a series of sequential actions
3
that failed to account for the fact that participants simultaneously
send and receive messages and adapt to one another.
2.
Interactive models addressed the “listeners as passive recipients” weakness
in linear models by adding feedback to the communication process.
3.
Transactional models recognize the dynamic (changing) nature of communication
and the multiple roles people assume during the process.
B.
Abraham Maslow expanded on Schutz’s ideas, proposing that we communicate to meet
a range of human needs.
1.
Physical needs pertain to survival.
2.
Safety needs are to be protected from harm.
3.
Belonging needs involving wanting to be connected to others.
4.
Self-esteem needs are to feel valued and respected by others.
5.
Self-actualization needs lead us to reach our fullest individual potential.
C.
Participating in a socially diverse world enhances our understanding of people whose
backgrounds differ from our own.
IV. Principles of interpersonal communication
A. Principle 1: We cannot NOT communicate
B. Principle 2: Interpersonal communication is irreversible
C. Principle 3: Interpersonal communication involves ethical choices
D. Principle 4: People construct meanings in interpersonal communication
E. Principle 5: Metacommunication affects meanings
F. Principle 6: Interpersonal communication develops and sustains relationships
G. Principle 7: Interpersonal communication is not a panacea
H. Principle 8: Interpersonal communication effectiveness can be learned
V. Social media in everyday life
A.
Social media influence the process, context, and meaning of interpersonal
communication.
B.
Social media help us communicate to meet needs.
C.
The eight principles of interpersonal communication also apply to online and digital
interaction.
D.
The use of social media requires us to make ethical choices.
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VI. Guidelines for interpersonal communication competence
A. Communication competence is the ability to communicate effectively,
appropriately, and ethically.
B. No single style of communication is best in all circumstances, with all people, or for
pursuing all goals.
C. Five important skills are closely tied to interpersonal communication competence:
1.
Developing a range of communication skills
a. We must learn a variety of behaviors and when each set of behaviors is
most appropriate.
2.
Adapting communication appropriately
a. When individuals appropriately adapt their communication, they are
sensitive to goals, contexts, and other people.
3.
Engaging in dual perspective
a. By engaging in dual perspective, we can see not only our view of the
interaction but also the other person’s/people’s view of self, the situation,
and thoughts or feelings in an ethical manner.
4.
Monitoring communication
a. Monitoring our communication involves observing and regulating how
we communicate with others both before and during our interactions.
5.
Committing to effective and ethical communication
a. We must commit the time and energy necessary to practice effective and
ethical interpersonal communication in our relationships.
Discussion Ideas
• Communication Needs: Recognizing how communication fills needs—Have students
generate three examples of how communication has filled each of the six needs (the five
needs in Maslow’s hierarchy, plus the sixth need of interacting in a socially diverse world)
for them in the last month. Generally, students have a more difficult time coming up with
examples for the higher order needs and this serves as a good springboard for discussing why
that is the case. Also, why are different needs important in living a satisfying life? Finally, do
you think the needs are equally important or do you believe some are more important
(central, necessary) than others?
• Communication Meeting Needs: Observing communication that meets needs—Choose a
television show, preferably one with characters who are likely to be familiar to your students
(e.g., The Simpsons, The Good Place, Big Bang Theory, Riverdale, Supergirl, Modern
Family, Empire, Vampire Diaries), or a brief movie clip. As students are watching, ask them
to indicate examples of times when each of the six needs (the five needs in Maslow’s
hierarchy, plus the sixth need of interacting in a socially diverse world) is met. If time
permits, show a second
5
show or movie clip from a different genre. What are the similarities and differences between
how communication is used to meet various needs in these two examples?
• Satisfaction with Communication Skills: Assessing satisfaction with communication skills—Ask
students to complete the scale titled Assessing Satisfaction with Communication.
Processing: A score of 40–50 indicates that you are very satisfied with your ability to
communicate in a range of interpersonal situations. A score of 25–39 indicates that either
you are fairly satisfied with your ability to communicate in various situations or you are
highly satisfied with your communication skills in some situations and relatively
dissatisfied in other situations. A score of 24 or lower indicates that you are less satisfied
with your interpersonal communication skills than you would like to be. If your score
indicates that you are moderately satisfied or dissatisfied with your interpersonal
communication skills, notice whether your answers are extremes (“1”s and “5”s) or tend
to be more average. Extreme ratings indicate that you are very satisfied with your ability
to interact in some situations and very dissatisfied with your ability to interact in others.
You should focus on improving your skills in the specific situations that make you
uneasy. If you have more average scores for most or all of the 10 items, then you might
work on further enhancing skills that you already have.
After completing the scale, have students generate three goals they would like to achieve
this semester. Ask them to keep a copy and collect a second copy of the goals. Use these
goals to aid in what information to emphasize in various units, as well as have students
help generate concrete suggestions in each unit for improving communication. Many that
are presented in the text are global and many of the goals your students generate will be
for specific kinds of situations.
• Relational Levels of Meaning: Recognizing relational levels of meaning—To increase
awareness of relational-level meanings in interpersonal communication, ask students to
identify which of the three levels of relational meaning is present in each of the following
statements:
• When Edwin’s parents criticize him for not coming home more often, he responds by saying,
“Look, I’m 20 years old and you can’t expect me to be at home every weekend.”
• Frances says to her 5-year-old daughter, “you clean up your room right now.”
• Adrienne asks her friend Malcolm if he wants to come over for dinner and conversation.
• Jerry tells his friend Michael about a personal problem, and Michael doesn’t respond. Jerry then
says, “Hey, am I invisible or mute or something?”
• Soyanna says to her boyfriend, “I think you are the greatest person in the world.”
• As Kim talks, Pat nods her head and smiles to show that she is following and interested in what
Kim says.
• Levels of Communication: Differentiate between I–It, I–You, and I–Thou communication—To
help students differentiate between I–It communication, I–You communication, and I–Thou communication,
ask them to answer the following questions: What are some examples of how each type of communication
occurs in your daily interactions with others? Are some levels more effective than others? If so, why?
6
• Competent Communicators: Identify competent communicators—Have students name
individuals who they think are competent communicators. Then discuss what makes these
individuals competent by asking one or more of the following questions: Who are some
famous people you think are competent communicators? Are there certain skills that they
have that make them seem competent? Do you think it is possible to teach and learn
competence? Do you think people are born competent communicators? Do you think it is
a characteristic that is more associated with males or females? Why? Do you think
communication competence is defined or perceived differently in other cultures? Why?
• Ethics: Promoting ethical ways of living through communication—November 21 is the
annual World Hello Day (for more information, visit http://www.worldhelloday.org/). On
this day, all people are invited to participate simply by greeting 10 people. World Hello
Day was created in response to the conflict between Egypt and Israel in the Fall of 1973.
Since then, World Hello Day has been observed by people in 180 countries. The organizers of
this event, two graduate students at Harvard and Arizona State University, claim that greeting 10
people demonstrates the importance of personal communication for preserving peace and is a
way to express concern for world peace. Further, the promoters claim that by starting with a
simple greeting on World Hello Day, their activities send a message to leaders, encouraging them
to use communication rather than force to settle conflicts. Challenge students to consider
participating in World Hello Day. Ask them to consider the following: Is this an effective way to
promote peace? If so, why? If not, why not? Do you think people who participate in this annual
event tend to view communication as a panacea?
Activities
Title
Individual
Partner/
Ethno
Group
Demonstration/
Whole Class
Internet
1. First ideas about communication
X–H
X
2. Modeling the classroom
X
X
3. Communication competence
X–P
4. Tied into communication
X
5. Picking personal models
X
6. Communicating to fill needs
X
7. I–Thou communication
X
8. Ethical dilemmas in tricky
situations
X
9. Determining communication
principles
X
X = Marks type of activity H = Handout P = Preparation required for students/teacher
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First Ideas about Communication
This exercise has both substantive and process value. It is an enjoyable activity that allows
students to continue getting acquainted and becoming comfortable in the course. Thus, it is an
effective exercise to set the right tone for learning. Substantively, the exercise serves to preview
many of the topics in the course and to whet students’ interest in what is to come.
Hand out to students a copy of the activity titled First Ideas about Communication. Orally
reinforce the written instructions by telling students to fill out the form first by recording their
individual opinions in the columns on the left. When all students have recorded their individual
opinions, organize them into discussion groups of five to seven members. Tell groups they will
have 20 minutes to reach a decision on each item. Emphasize that they should discuss
differences in their opinions rather than simply vote or accommodate each other.
When 20 minutes have elapsed, call the class to order. On the chalkboard record the groups’
answers and discuss each item briefly. This allows you to begin teaching students what
interpersonal communication involves and what they will be learning in the course.
Modeling the Classroom
This exercise helps students understand the interpersonal communication model in concrete
terms.
To set the foundation for this activity, discuss the definition and model of interpersonal
communication presented in the text. Review key concepts, including the continuum from
impersonal to personal communication, the systemic character of communication, the over-time
generation of personal knowledge through communication, the existence of rules, and the key
role of interpretation in communication.
Then encourage students to use the principles, concepts, and models discussed in the text to
model their classroom as a communication system. This may be done either as a small group
activity or as an exercise involving the entire class. The goal is to help students make conceptual
material clear and concrete by applying it to a specific communication situation.
In modeling the classroom, students should identify types and sources of noise, “sending” and
“receiving” actions by both students and teachers, rules that govern classroom communication
(e.g., raise your hand), elements of the classroom system (teacher, students, room, textbook,
etc.), and personal knowledge (what they learned from the Let’s Get Personal exercise as well as
personal information that has been shared by the teacher or students).
8
Communication Competence
This activity is both a fun and educational way of teaching students the communication model
and communication competence.
Before class, find some basic pictures that students could easily draw, such as a stick figure, a
box house, a Christmas tree, or a star. Make copies of each of the pictures.
During class, ask each student to find one partner. Then, randomly pick two students, who are
partners, and assign one student to be the “communicator” and the other student to be the
“artist.” Have the artist face the chalk board and be prepared to draw what the communicator
tells him or her.
Give the communicator a picture and tell him or her that he or she is not allowed to show the
artist what that picture is. In addition, the communicator can NOT say explicitly what the picture
is. For instance, if the picture is a Christmas tree, he or she cannot say “draw a Christmas tree.”
Instead, the communicator must find other ways of describing the same thing.
To make it more challenging, teachers can write out words associated with the picture that the
communicator is not allowed to say to the artist.
For bigger classes, it might be wise to only use a few students for this example or have five
artists in front of the classroom with five communicators.
Afterward, discuss how the communicators could have improved their communication
effectiveness. In addition, you might discuss how each communicator was competent or not.
Also, you might discuss how communication is a two-way process. Did the artists get the exact
message each and every time? Why or why not?
Tied into Communication
This exercise is based on a presentation by Kathleen Galvin at the 1993 meeting of the Speech
Communication Association. It gives students concrete understanding of how communication
systems function and of the principles that describe and explain systems.
Ask (or select) a male and a female student to volunteer for a class demonstration. Announce that
the two of them are in love and getting married. Tie them together with a rope or other material
that connects them, but only loosely. (Be sure to use rope that doesn’t knot too tightly.) Ask them
to interact, letting both to go to work and both to engage with each other at home. Select a third
and a fourth person and designate them the wife’s and the husband’s demanding bosses. Tie the
bosses to the woman and man, respectively, with separate pieces of rope. Instruct each boss to
pressurize his or her employee and demand that more work be done, using the rope to apply
pressure. Point out to the class that when the boss pulls the woman with his or her rope, it affects
her husband by pulling the rope between them. The same is true when the husband’s boss pulls
his or her rope; also
9
show that the bosses affect each other indirectly. Now add a fifth person to the system—a baby.
Tie the baby to both parents so that he or she is between them. Instruct the baby to demand
attention by pulling his or her rope. Point out to the class how both husband and wife are
affected by the baby’s influence in the system. Now add a couple of more kids and guide
students to see how each additional child affects not only the parents but the other children as
well. Finally, add another person—an ailing parent who needs help. Using another piece of
rope, tie the parent to one or both spouses and instruct the parent to pull the rope for assistance
and attention.
This activity demonstrates many properties of communication systems. I have found it most
effective to comment on the system principles being illustrated as the exercise transpires and
then to summarize them after the exercise is concluded. Principles to emphasize: (1) All parts of
a system are interrelated and affect one another. (2) A system is more than the sum of its parts
(also the interaction among the parts and the outcomes of interaction, e.g., resentment, stress). (3)
If you change one part of a system, the entire system changes. (4) Systems attempt to maintain a
state of balance, yet they continuously change. (5) Note the heterosexual norms and model of
family.
Picking Personal Models
This exercise is designed to guide students to appreciate the importance of self-actualizing, the
most abstractive human need in Maslow’s hierarchy. In addition, the exercise can be processed
to enlarge students’ understanding of the ways in which public and personal communication
affect how they see themselves and how they set goals for their personal growth.
After students have read the text’s discussion of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, ask
them to form groups of five to seven members. Each student should identify one person who has
inspired him or her and who has enlarged his or her personal goals for self-actualizing. In groups,
the students should discuss why they admire the people they do and how inspirational models
affect their own goals and self-images.
Communicating to Fill Needs
The goal of this activity is to enhance students’ awareness of the ways they communicate to fill
the six needs discussed in the text.
On the board, write each of the five needs in Maslow’s hierarchy, plus the sixth need of
interacting in a socially diverse world. Organize students into groups of five people each. Then
instruct the groups to generate at least three examples of communication they engage in to meet
each of the six needs. After 20 minutes, call the class to order and lead a discussion of how
communication helps us meet human needs. This exercise should increase students’ appreciation
of the value of communication in meeting important needs in their everyday lives.
10
I–Thou Communication
The goal of this activity is to learn about I–Thou communication.
Have students pair up with a partner. Students should take turns describing I–It, I–You, and I–
Thou relationships. The other student must analyze differences in communication and personal
knowledge in the three relationships. This exercise should help students identify the difference
among these three kinds of communication.
Ethical Dilemmas in Tricky Situations
The goal of this activity is to learn about guidelines for ethical communication and to show the
sometimes complex and contradictory nature of general ethical guidelines.
Review the National Communication Association’s Credo for Ethical Communication at
https://www.natcom.org/press-room/national-communication-association-marks-100th-
anniversary-reaffirmation-ethical-credos. Distribute the credo to class (or display on an overhead
or data show projector). Ask the students to generate examples where at least two ethical
guidelines conflict with each other (they can use their own personal examples or create a
hypothetical situation). Examples could include that people might lie in a situation to defuse
anger in a conflict, or not to hurt someone’s feelings. After they generate the examples, lead a
discussion on how class members would address each situation. The discussion could focus on
how general points about ethics are a useful starting point to guide our communication practices,
but these general guidelines can become complex and contradictory in concrete life situations.
Determining Communication Principles
This activity will help enforce the understanding of principles of interpersonal communication as
listed in the text. Ask students to find a partner. Then, randomly assign each pair of students a
principle. Ask the students to think of a situation where this applies and think of a skit that they
will act out in front of the class. Each pair of students will act out their principle and the rest of
the class will have to guess which principle is being displayed.
Principle 1: We cannot NOT communicate.
Principle 2: Interpersonal communication is irreversible
Principle 3: Interpersonal communication involves ethical choices
Principle 4: People construct meanings in interpersonal communication
Principle 5: Metacommunication affects meanings
Principle 6: Interpersonal communication develops and sustains relationships
Principle 7: Interpersonal communication is not a panacea
Principle 8: Interpersonal communication effectiveness can be learned
11
Journal Items
• Describe I–It, I–You, and I–Thou relationships in your life (one each). Analyze differences
in communication and personal knowledge in the three relationships.
Responses will vary, but I–It relationships might be characterized by not acknowledging
another nor engaging in person-centered communication; I–You relationships, in general,
would include less personal knowledge than I–Thou; I–Thou communication could
include greater sensitivity in listening to another person.
• Describe and analyze two communication rules in your family of origin. Trace how they
affected patterns of interaction among family members.
Responses will vary based on each student’s family experiences, but examples of
communication rules include that children should stay in the same home town to take care of
their parents when they are older, and siblings should be supportive of each other’s
activities. In the latter case, for example, siblings might be more likely to attend sporting or
hobby events that each sibling in involved with.
• Because effective communication is important, we should recognize, understand, and
develop five key interpersonal communication skills. Describe someone who you think
is a competent communicator. List the communication skills that he or she possesses,
and explain how his or her application of those skills makes him or her competent.
Responses to this topic will vary, but students might address how communication
competence involves being both appropriate and effective. Also, look for how the students
perceive communication competence.
• Because interpersonal communication affects us and others, our interactions involve
ethical choices. Describe a situation that involved an ethical choice and the
communication practices that were used to address the issue.
Responses to this topic will vary, but ethical issues could include whether or not to lie,
withholding certain information from someone else, and passing on a message to a third
party that was told in confidence. Also, look for students’ responses to explain how they
handled this ethical situation. (For example, did they avoid the decision at first? Did they
engage in dual perspective to figure out why one person would want them to not tell others
certain information, etc.?)
• Because communication principles affect our communication, we should recognize and
understand the eight basic principles for effectiveness in interpersonal communication.
Choose one of the eight principles for effective interpersonal communication. Describe a
situation where this communication principle affected your life in a significant way.
12
Responses will vary, but the communication principle that is discussed should be the main
focus. Students should be able to think of an example of when the communication principle
affected their communication with another person.
Panel Ideas
• Multiethnic Panel: Create a panel of individuals who are of various ethnicities that are
substantially represented on your campus (e.g., persons who are of Native American, African
American, European American, and/or Asian American descent). In this case, it would be
ideal to have panelists who are students so that they can talk peer-to-peer with members of
your class. Set the tone for open, candid discussion by reminding the class that there are
many communication challenges and difficulties among different ethnic groups in our
society. Explain that this panel is an opportunity for people to talk openly about
communication barriers. After introducing the panelists to your class, invite each of them to
make an opening statement of 3–5 minutes about communication problems they experience
on the campus. After all panelists have made general statements, invite questions from the
class. Facilitate discussion to make sure that it remains constructive and focused.
• University Presidents/Chancellors/Deans: Invite some of your academic institution’s
leaders to your classroom and have them discuss ways that they had to be particular with
their use of words. In addition, you might ask them to speak about how they developed their
communication skills and how they adapt their communication with others all over the
campus in order to get their message across.
• Family Dynamics: Invite two of four family counselors to talk with your class about
families as systems. Ask the panelists to focus on the ways in which communication creates
and upholds family systems and the ways in which altering communication changes family
dynamics. Panelists should speak for no more than half of the class period so that there is
ample time for questions from students.
• Business Leaders: Invite some business leaders to your classroom and ask them to discuss
ways that they have had to adapt their communication to different groups (i.e., customers,
suppliers, employees, etc.). You might ask them how their communication skills have
impacted their profession.
Media Resources
Websites
Name: Four Principles of Interpersonal Communication
Developer: Donnell King
Brief Description: This web page lists four principles of interpersonal communication that
are necessary for everyday life functioning.
13
URL: http://www.pstcc.edu/facstaff/dking/interpr.htm
Name: The Y? Forum—The National Forum on People’s Differences
Developer: Phillip J. Milano
Brief Description: This site gives people an opportunity to ask people from different
backgrounds questions they were not able to ask because of an inability to contact people from
another culture or an uncomfortable feeling asking the questions.
URL: http://www.yforum.com/
Name: World Hello Day
Developer: Jon H. Larsen and the World Hello Day Organization
Brief Description: This site provides the history for World Hello Day, which is an annual event
where people are asked to greet 10 others as a way of demonstrating the importance of personal
communication for preserving peace.
URL: http://www.worldhelloday.org/
Name: Conversation as Communication
Developer: Gerard M. Blair
Brief Description: This web page offers an article that views communication as a process of
simple planning and control. Students can contrast this view with the definition of
communication in the text. The article discusses practical applications of this model of
communication in the context of business meetings.
URL: http://www.unitar.org/hiroshima/sites/unitar.org.hiroshima/files/AF10_WS1.12.Conversation_as
_Communication.pdf
Name: Communication Skills Library
Developer: Management Assistance Programs for Nonprofits; assembled by Carter McNamara
Brief Description: This site provides a library of resources on improving communication skills
for personal, professional, and organizational development. This library is updated and
maintained by Authenticity Consulting.
URL: http://managementhelp.org/communicationsskills/index.htm
Name: Do You Get Your Messages Across? Interpersonal Communication Skills Test
Developer: Queendom.com
Brief Description: An online test to evaluate general levels of communication skills.
URL: http://www.queendom.com/tests/relationships/communication_skills_r_access.html
Name: Self-Help Resources
Developer: Harvard Medical School Ombuds Office
Brief Description: Effective techniques to improve interactions are addressed. These resources range from
understanding the power of an apology to writing a letter of complaint.
URL: http://hms.harvard.edu/departments/ombuds-office/self-help-resources
Name: Interpersonal Web
14
Developer: Northern Virginia Community College
Brief Description: Provides an overview of different aspects of interpersonal communication
dealing with cultural context, self-concept, relational development, listening and perception,
verbal and nonverbal messages, types of relationships, and communication process.
URL: http://novaonline.nvcc.edu/eli/spd110td/interper/
Film Ideas
Cast Away. This film is about a man who becomes stranded on a deserted island. Select the clip
when he first arrives on the island. Of all the needs in Maslow’s hierarchy, how does he fulfill
each of his needs on the island?
My Fair Lady. This film illustrates how a young lady learns proper etiquette. In addition, she
learns how to communicate in a more dignified manner and how her old friends don’t recognize
her based on her new learned communication behaviors. Discuss how communication behavior
can have an impact on other people’s perceptions.
The King’s Speech. This film illustrates how someone can overcome his or her speech
impediments to get his or her message across to others. Discuss how each student can help other
students become better speakers.
Print Resources
The Pocket Guide to Making Successful Small Talk: How to Talk to Anyone
Anytime Anywhere About Anything by Bernardo J. Carducci.
How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends by Don Gabor
Ask students to skim various popular press books that claim they can improve their
conversational skills. What model of communication is implicit in this approach? How do the
guidelines for improving communication discussed in the popular press relate to those discussed
in the text?
15
Handout: First Ideas about Communication
Below are eight statements about interpersonal communication. On your own, decide whether
you think each statement is basically true or basically false. Record your responses in the left
columns. Then discuss your responses with a group to which you will be assigned. Focus
discussion on understanding different perceptions, experiences, and so forth that affect how
individuals respond to the statements. Record group answers in the right columns.
INDIVIDUAL RESPONSES GROUP RESPONSES
Basically
Basically
Basically
Basically
true
false
true
false
1. Verbal communication is
more important than nonverbal.
2. Women and men speak
different languages.
3. The sender of a message
is responsible for effectiveness.
4. Conflict can improve
close relationships.
5. Racial classifications are
subjective.
6. It is impossible not to
communicate.
7. Communication can solve
all our interpersonal problems.
8. Communication breakdowns
between people are common.
16
Handout: Assessing Satisfaction with Communication Skills
Instructions: Listed below are 10 communication situations. Imagine that you are involved in each situation. For
each situation, use the following scale to indicate how confident you are that you could communicate competently.
1.
Very satisfied that I could communicate competently
2.
Somewhat satisfied that I could communicate competently
3.
Not sure how effectively I could communicate
4.
Somewhat dissatisfied with my ability to communicate effectively
5.
Very dissatisfied with my ability to communicate effectively
1. Someone asks you personal questions that you feel uncomfortable answering. You’d like
to tell the person that you don’t want to answer, but you don’t want to hurt the person’s
feelings.
2. You think a friend of yours is starting to drink more alcohol than is healthy. You want to
bring up the topic with your friend, but you don’t want to create a barrier in the
friendship.
3. You really care about the person you’ve been dating recently, but neither of you has ever
put your feelings in words. You’d like to express how you feel but aren’t sure how your
partner will respond.
4. During a heated discussion about social issues, the person with whom you are talking
says, “Why won’t you hear me out fairly?!”
5. A friend shares his creative writing with you and asks if you think he has any talent. You
don’t think the writing is very good, and you need to respond to his request for an
opinion.
6. Your roommate’s habits are really getting on your nerves. You want to tell your
roommate you’re bothered, but you don’t want to cause hurt.
7. A classmate asks you for notes for the classes he missed. You agree but then discover he
has missed nearly half of the classes and expects you to bail him out. You feel that’s
exploitive.
8. You go to a party and discover that you don’t know anyone there.
9. The person you have been dating declares “I love you.” You care about the person but
your feelings are not love, at least not yet. The person expects some response from you.
10. A person who you care about comes to you whenever he has problems he wants to
discuss, and you give him attention and advice. When you want to talk about your
problems, however, he doesn’t seem to have time. You want the friendship to continue,
but you don’t like feeling it’s one way.
TOTAL (Add up the numbers you placed in each blank. Make sure that your total is
between 10 and 50).
