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CHAPTER 2
SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-CONFIDENCE
CHAPTER OUTLINE AND LECTURE NOTES
Self-confidence helps a person succeed in a competitive field. Two of the biggest building
blocks for more effective human relations are self-esteem and self-confidence.
I. THE NATURE OF SELF-ESTEEM, ITS DEVELOPMENT, AND
ITS CONSEQUENCES
An important part of understanding the self is self-esteem, the experience of feeling
competent to cope with the basic challenges in life and of being worthy of happiness.
Self-esteem also refers to a positive overall evaluation of oneself. The self-concept refers
to what we think about ourselves, whereas self-esteem is what we feel about ourselves.
Students can complete The Self-Esteem Checklist Quiz 2-1 in the text for an indication of
their level of self-esteem.
A. The Development of Self-Esteem
Self-esteem comes from a variety of early life experiences. Childhood experiences
that lead to healthy self-esteem include being praised, listened to, spoken to
temporary high, but it does not produce genuine self-esteem.
Although early life experiences have the major impact on the development of self-
esteem, experiences in adult life also impact self-esteem.
B. The Consequences of Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is a major factor in career success.
Positive Consequences
1. Career Success. A major consequence of having high self-esteem is that you
2. Organizational Prosperity. Self-esteem is a critical source of competitive
advantage in an information society. Workers with high self-esteem are more
likely to cope with new challenges regularly because they are confident they can
master their environments. A study suggested that high self-esteem is more likely
to lead to enhanced job performance when the employee’s self-esteem does not
depend on performing well.
3. Good Mental Health. People with high self-esteem feel good about themselves
and have positive outlooks on life. High self-esteem helps many situations from
being stressful.
4. Profiting from Negative Feedback. Because they are secure, people with self-
5. Serves as a Guide for Regulating Social Relationships. Leary claims that self-
esteem provides a performance gauge during social interaction. Self-esteem rises
and falls in relation to how well you are doing during a social interaction.
Potential Negative Consequences
High and low self-esteem can create problems.
1. Exaggerated levels of self-esteem can lead to narcissism. Self-esteem can elevate
to the point of having little concern for others. Narcissism is an extremely
positive view of the self, combined with limited empathy for others. The narcissist
may alienate others in the workplace.
2. Envying Too Many People. A potential negative consequence of low self-esteem
3. Poor Romantic Relationships when Self-Esteem is Low. People with self-doubts
consistently underestimate their partners’ feelings for them.
II. THE ENHANCEMENT OF SELF-ESTEEM
Improving self-esteem is a lifelong process because self-esteem is related to the
success of your activities and interaction with people.
A. Attain Legitimate Accomplishments
the honesty of the feedback a person receives. Establishing constructive goals that
can make a difference for others, and then attaining them, can boost self-esteem.
B. Be Aware of Personal Strengths
Appreciating one’s strengths and accomplishments may increase self-esteem.
Appreciating your strengths and accomplishments requires that you engage in
C. Minimize Settings and Interactions That Detract from Your Feelings of
Competence
Minimizing exposure to situations in which the person does not feel at his or her
best helps prevent lowering of self-esteem. A problem with avoiding all situations
in which you feel incompetent is that it might prevent you from acquiring needed
skills.
D. Talk and Socialize Frequently with People who Boost Your Self-Esteem
Strong people—those with high self-esteem—will give honest feedback and help
Observe the way people who are believed to have high self-esteem stand, walk,
speak, and act. Even if you are not feeling so secure inside, you will project an
image of high self-esteem if you act assured.
III. THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CONFIDENCE, AND ITS SOURCES
1. The actual experience or the things we have done.
2. The experiences of others, or modeling.
Students can assess their level of self-confidence with the How Confident Are You?
Self-assessment Quiz 2-3 in the text.
IV. DEVELOPING AND STRENGTHENING YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE
Strengthening your self-confidence often breeds success. Self-confidence is generally
achieved by succeeding in a variety of situations. Self-confidence building does not work
for everyone because they will have lingering self-doubts despite many successes. There
are also tactics and strategies for building and elevating self-confidence.
A. Take an Inventory of Personal Assets and Accomplishments
Personal assets should be related to characteristics and behaviors rather than tangible
assets, such as a car. Accomplishments can be anything significant in which you
played a key role in achieving the results. An important supplement to listing your
own assets is hearing the opinion of others on your good points.
B. Develop a Solid Knowledge Base
Develop a base of knowledge that enables you to provide sensible alternative
solutions to problems. But don’t bombard people with quotes, facts, and figures.
C. Use Positive Self-Talk
Positive self-talk is saying positive things about you to yourself. Positive self-talk
builds self-confidence because it programs the mind with positive messages. The first
step in using positive self-talk is to objectively state the incident that is casting self-
doubt about self-worth.
D. Avoid Negative Self-Talk
Minimize negative statements about yourself to bolster self-confidence. Also, do not
attribute to yourself negative, irreversible traits such as “idiotic,” or “jerk.”-
E. Use Positive Visual Imagery
Positive visual imagery pictures a positive outcome in your mind. This technique
helps you appear confident because your mental rehearsal of the situation has helped
you prepare for battle.
F. Set High Expectations for Yourself (The Galatea Effect)
The Galatea effect is a type of self-fulfilling prophecy in which high self-
expectations lead to high performance. Create your own self-fulfilling prophecy in
which high expectations least to high performance. If you believe in yourself, you are
more likely to succeed.
G. Strive for Peak Performance
A key strategy for projecting confidence is to display peak performance, or
exceptional performance in a given task. To achieve peak performance, you must be
totally focused on what you are doing, or be in the zone.
H. Behave as If You Feel Confident
Your behavior leads to attitudes, so as you change your behavior, your attitudes will
begin to change. Try confident behavior while making a presentation.
I. Practice Public Speaking
If you stand in front of an audience, even in a small meeting, and deliver your
thoughts effectively, you will gain self-confidence. Just reading PowerPoint slides to
the group is not enough.
J. Bounce Back from Setbacks and Embarrassments
Resilience is a major contributor to personal effectiveness. Overcoming adversity not
only builds self-confidence but also contributes to a person’s long-term well-being. A
study showed that people who had experienced a few adverse events reported better
mental health and well-being than people with much adversity or no reports of
misfortune.
Three suggestions for bouncing back are:
1. Get Past the Emotional Turmoil. Accept the reality of your problem, do not take
the attack personally, do not panic, and get help from your network. A frequent
cause of
2. Find a Creative Solution to Your Problem. To make a comeback you need to
solve your problem. So you often need to search for creative solutions to your
problem
3. Regain Confidence by Relaxing a Little. Stop overworking and allow yourself to
relax.
I. Strive to Develop Psychological Capital
A comprehensive way of becoming more self-confident is to develop positive
psychological capital, a state in which you have hope, self-efficacy, optimism, and
resilience. An encouraging note about positive psychological capital is that people
can develop this state of being.
J. Avoid Overconfidence
Self-confidence can be a negative factor if carried to extremes. The overly self-
confident individual might become intimidating, and unwilling to listen to advice.
Also watch out for too much concern about the self, including self-esteem.
V. CODEPENDENCE AND HOW IS IT LINKED TO LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND LOW
SELF-CONFIDENCE
One way in which people with low self-esteem and low self-confidence attempt to take
care of the problem is to play a martyr role and become the benefactor of someone else.
In personal life, as well as on the job, codependence can create unhealthy, dysfunctional
relationships.
A. Meaning of Codependence
Codependency is a state of being psychologically influenced or controlled by, reliant
on, or needing another person who is addicted to substances such as alcohol and
drugs, or behavior such as gambling or Internet use. The codependent has a tendency
to place the needs and wants of other first, a behavior that is often linked to low self-
esteem.
B. Symptoms and Description of the Problem
Many symptoms are possible, including these four: (1) The codependent feels
responsible for the dependent by covering up the other person’s addiction. (2) The
codependent will often only feel good when the dependent person feels good, so the
codependent tries hard to please the dependent. (3) The codependent will have
difficulty leading a satisfying and productive life because he or she invests so much
energy in taking care of a person with a dependency. (4) The codependent has a
strong need to rescue or fix another person—even though an unconscious motive
might be present to keep the other person addicted and helpless.
C. Control and Overcoming of Codependence
Codependency often stems from growing up in a dysfunctional family, so
psychotherapy and counseling may be required to overcome the behavior pattern and
attitudes of a codependent. The codependent must learn to say “No,” perhaps in small
steps. The codependent must recognize that it is often not in his or her power to
change the behavior of another person.
ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION AND REVIEW
2.1 Imagine an accountant being told by a client, “I think that you are really stupid, and I am
going to report you to your boss.” Give one example of how a high self-esteem
accountant might respond, and one of how a low self-esteem accountant might respond.
The high self-esteem accountant might respond something to the effect, “I am sorry to
2.2 Identify a public figure, such as a business executive, professional athlete, or politician
whose self-esteem is so extreme that he or she is a narcissist. Give a couple of examples
of his or her narcissistic behavior.
people think the television show. “The Apprentice” was self-aggrandizing for Trump.
2.3 In what way has a teacher, instructor, or professor ever raised your self-esteem? How
long lasting was the effect?
2.4 How might you improve your self-efficacy for a specific job that you are performing?
2.5 When you meet another person, on what basis do you conclude that he or she has high (or
low) self-confidence?
2.6 The criticism is often made in the media that we have become a nation of superficial
approaches to building self-esteem, such as giving children and adults trophies for very
small accomplishments. What is your opinion of this criticism?
2.7 In what ways does your program of studies contribute to building your self-esteem and
self-confidence?
2.8 Self-confidence has been identified as the personality trait most frequently associated
with leadership (see Chapter 11). If you aspire to be a leader, or already occupy a
leadership position, what steps do you think you will take to further strengthen your self-
confidence?
2.9 Visualize yourself applying for your dream job, and because you want the job so badly
you do not feel highly self-confident. What steps can you take to appear self-confident?
2.10 Interview a person whom you perceive to have a successful career. Ask that person to
describe how he or she developed high self-esteem. Be prepared to discuss your findings
in class.
Most likely the student findings will corroborate the idea that high self-esteem came
about because of the person’s many successes, often beginning way back in their
childhood. Many successful people will also say that having high self-esteem to begin
with contributed to their career success.
COMMENTS ON EXERCISES AND CASES
Human Relations Self-Assessment Quiz 2-1: The Self-Esteem Checklist
The term self-esteem has become part of general knowledge, so most students already have
some belief that self-esteem is important part of human functioning. An advantage of this
instrument is that it helps sensitize students to many of the symptoms of high self-esteem and
low self-esteem. You might solicit student opinion on which statement they think indicates
the lowest self-esteem. How about, number 17? “People who would want to become my
friend usually would not have much to offer.” Another potential indicator of very low self-
esteem is question 19, “I’m just an ordinary person.”
It could be worth mentioning that situational forces can sometimes affect self-esteem.
Students who have had a series of recent defeats such as flunking an exam, being rejected for
a job, or being dumped in a relationship might have a low score that is not representative of
their typical self-attitudes. Conversely, students who have had a recent series of victories
might have an artificially high score on the Self-Esteem Checklist.
Human Relations Self-Assessment Quiz 2-2: National Longitudinal Survey of Youth Measure
of Core Self-Evaluations
An important feature of this self-quiz is that it has been scientifically developed for a national
survey. The core self-evaluations include self-esteem, thereby giving the student another
opportunity to reflect on self-esteem. If answered False, a few of the times point to
developmental opportunities. A hard-hitting example is No. 6, “I feel I do not have much to
be proud of.” The person responding False might get working on something to be proud of.
Human Relations Self-Assessment Quiz 2-3: How Self-Confident Are You?
An important contribution of this self-quiz is that it reinforces the idea that a very high
life. It may prove instructive to discuss why several of the ten statements relate to self-
confidence. For example, statement 1, “I frequently say to people, ‘I’m not sure’” tells a lot
about self-confidence. A person who is low on self-confidence is literally not sure. Statement
9 (“I’m much more of a winner than a loser”) is another useful topic for class discussion. A
self-confident person is much more likely to perceive that he or she is a winner.
Human Relations Application Exercise 2.1: Boosting the Self-Esteem of another Person
Here is an opportunity for students of human relations to do some constructive field work
without spending a lot of time or money. It might be true that a student might not be able to
permanently boost a person’s self-esteem through one act of positive reinforcement.
several reasons. One problem is that the person receiving the intended self-esteem booster
may not respond, thinking that it was part of his or her responsibility to perform the act.
Following the example given in the text about self-esteem building, the freelance tech
support person might think that getting rid of viruses is ordinary work. Another potential
mishap with the attempts at building self-esteem is that the reward might be administered in a
mechanical, unfeeling way, much like leaving an obligatory tip in a restaurant.
Human Relations Application Exercise 2.2: Building Your Self-Confidence and Self-Efficacy
Successful completion of this exercise will require an above-average degree of self-
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2-10
and (b) focused effort is likely to lead to better results than attempting a variety of
approaches in a short time period. An example of this approach is presented in Skill-Building
Exercise 2-2. Another example is as follows:
Don decides to use the tactic “avoid negative self-talk” for two weeks. He makes a
deliberate effort to stop making negative statements about himself for two weeks. When
asked to present a summary of his term paper in front of the class, he avoids a statement he
would typically make in this situation, such as “I’m terrible at this stuff.” Instead, he
performs the task without commenting negatively about his skill. A couple of days later he
applies for a position as an assistant manager in a dollar store. He would ordinarily say in a
situation like this, “I probably don’t have the experience you are looking for, but I would like
to apply anyway.” Instead, he avoids negative self-talk—and uses positive self-talk—by
saying, “I’m applying because I’m a serious business student, and I like retailing.”
Human Relations Class Activity: The Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence Survey
Surveys have become such an integral part of our culture that most students will find
collecting data through surveys to make sense. The approach outlined in this activity will
also be helpful in communicating the idea that some of human relations knowledge is based
because some people like themselves even when they do not feel confident.
Human Relations Case Study 2 -1: High Self-Esteem Brandy
The case about Brandy illustrates how flaunting self-esteem and self-confidence can result in
a negative reaction from others. A personal brand may seem like a narcissistic endeavor yet a
brand can be promoted with sensitivity and tact.
2.11 How effectively is Brandy Barclay presenting herself has a brand (or a unique
individual)?
2.12 What suggestions can you offer Barclay for presenting herself as a strong individual more
effectively?
2.13 To what extent do you think that Brandy’s high self-esteem has reached the point of
narcissism?
It appears that Brandy’s high self-esteem has reached the point of narcissism. She has
become self-absorbed, as in her statement, “I’m a whiz at Microsoft Office Suite, and
I’m sweet with people. Kind of catchy, don’t you think?” Brandy could also be
2.14 To what extent is Anthony facing a self-confidence problem?
2.15 What do you do to recommend that Anthony do to re-gain his self-confidence?
2.16 How might Anthony’s manager be able to help Anthony boost his self-confidence?
