CHAPTER 10
MANAGING CONFLICT
CHAPTER OUTLINE AND LECTURE NOTES
Conflict takes place frequently, and being able to manage it well contributes to your feeling of
well-being. Conflict is a condition that exists when two sets of demands, goals, or motives are
incompatible. A conflict can also be considered a dispute, feud, or controversy.
I. WHY SO MUCH CONFLICT EXISTS
Conflict takes place for many reasons, but all conflict ultimately stems from the fact that
everyone cannot have what he or she wants at the same time. More specific reasons
follow.
A. Competition for Limited Resources
C. Incivility
Incivility toward work associates is a major contributor to workplace conflict. A
study indicated that after being a victim of workplace rudeness and hostility, two-
thirds of employees said their performance declined. About one-eighth quit because
of uncivil treatment by a coworker. Conflict emerges because one cannot satisfy the
goal of having a relatively calm workplace while at the same time being treated
uncivilly.
Snubbing, or ignoring others, is another type of uncivil behavior leading to conflict.
A micro-inequity is a small, semiconscious message we send with a powerful impact
on the receiver.
D. Personality Clashes and Drama
Disagreements on the job also stem from personality clashes, or antagonistic
relationships between two people based on differences in personal attributes,
smoothly with you is extremely difficult.
Visit the About: Career Planning Website to learn what to do about workplace bullies
at http://careerplanning.about.com/od/bosscoworkers/a/bullies_at_work.htm
F. Passive-Aggressive Personalities
Passive aggression is a deliberate and disguised way of expressing hidden anger. A
passive-aggressive personality is a person who appears to enthusiastically and
H. Competing Work and Family Demands
Balancing the demands of work and family life is a major challenge facing workers at
all levels. The challenge of achieving balance is particularly intense for employees
who are part of a two-wage-earner family. Work-family conflict occurs when the
individual has to perform multiple roles: worker, spouse or partner, and often parent.
1. Incompatible Demands. Work and family life often create incompatible demands.
A study showed that when family life interferes with work, the person will often
feel guilty. Guilt can also arise when work interferes with family life. A recent
synthesis of 33 studies found that emotional strain can result from both working
interfering with family and family interfering with work.
2. Multitasking to Deal with the Conflict. Some people attempt to resolve their
work-family conflict by doing some work at family and personal events. For
example, parents attending the sporting events of their children often conduct
work via their smart phones.
3. Flexible Work Arrangements to Reduce the Conflict. The general solution to
work-family conflict is to have workplaces where employees have a choice of
when, where, and how they do their work. These initiatives include flexible
working hours, the opportunity to work at home, childcare centers, and parental-
leave programs.
4. The Role of Work Group Support. The intensity of work-family conflict can
sometimes be softened by a supportive work group. A study with faculty
members found that individuals who received high levels of social support from
their work group reported lower levels of work-family conflict that those who
received less social support.
5. Cultural Differences. Cross-national differences based on culture can influence
the extent to which workers experience work-family conflict. A large study found
that work interfering with family life led to more dissatisfaction and intention to
quit for people in individualistic than collectivistic culture. Perhaps people in the
collectivistic society might be more loyal to the employer.
I. Sexual Harassment: A Special Type of Conflict
Sexual harassment is an unwanted sexually oriented behavior in the workplace that
results in discomfort and/or interference with the job. Sexual harassment creates
conflict because the harassed person has to make a choice between two incompatible
motives (such as not wanting to be treated as a sex object versus holding on to a job).
1. Types, Frequency, and Effects of Harassment. Two types of sexual harassment
are legally recognized: (a) Quid pro quo (which is Latin for this for that) –
receiving an unfavorable employment action because sexual favors are refused
(b) A hostile environment created by sexually-oriented conduct. Many workers
are confused about what constitutes hostile environment harassment.
Surveys and opinions suggest that somewhere between 50 percent and 60
percent of women are sexually harassed at least once in their career. Women in
male-dominated organizations, such as a construction company, tend to be
harassed more frequently than women in female-dominated organizations, such as
a community service center.
Aside from being an illegal and immoral act, sexual harassment has negative
effects on the well-being of its victims. The harassed person may experience job
stress, lowered morale, severe conflict, lowered productivity, and symptoms of
post-traumatic disorder. The negative effects are more likely to occur when the
culture is more tolerant of sexual harassment.
2. Guidelines for Preventing and Dealing with Sexual Harassment. A starting point
in dealing with sexual harassment is to develop an awareness of the types of
behavior that are considered to be sexual harassment. Many people do not realize,
for example, that terms of endearment such as “sweetheart” or “honey” can be
considered harassment. Education about the meaning of sexual harassment is a
basic part of any company program for its prevention. The easiest way to deal
with harassment is to speak up before it become serious. Confronting the harasser
in writing is also very effective. Keeping a dated log about the activities of a
continuing harasser can be effective.
3. Guidelines for Dealing with False Accusations of Harassment. Many workers,
especially men, will be falsely charged with sexual harassment for such reasons as
revenge related to another issue, a desire to get attention, or a misunderstanding of
what constitutes sexual harassment. Establishing a reputation of never having
harassed others is helpful prevention. It may be necessary to prevent a detailed
account of one’s side of the story when charged.
Visit the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for Facts about Sexual
Harassment at http://www.eeoc.gov/facts/fs-sex.html
II. THE GOOD AND BAD SIDE OF CONFLICT
Conflict has both positive and negative consequences, much like work stress. We do not
usually suffer stress over minor conflicts. And like stress in general, we need an optimum
amount of conflict to keep up mentally and physically energetic. See Figure 10-1 for the
good and bad sides of conflict. Some of the benefits of conflict are:
1. Talents and abilities may emerge in response to conflict.
2. Conflict can help you feel better because it satisfies a number of psychological
needs.
3. As an aftermath of conflict, the parties in conflict may become united.
4. Conflict helps prevent people in the organization from agreeing readily with each
other, thus making some very poor decisions.
Some of the negative or harmful consequences of conflict are:
1. Prolonged conflict can be detrimental to some people’s emotional and physical
well-being.
2. Relationships damaged by conflict can have consequences that impede individual,
group, and organizational performance.
3. People in conflict with each other often waste time and energy that could be put
to useful purposes.
4. The aftermath of extreme conflict may have high financial and emotional costs.
5. Too much conflict is fatiguing, even if it does not cause symptoms of emotional
illness.
6. People in conflict will often be much more concerned with their own interests
than with the good of the family, organization, or society.
7. Workplace violence erupts, including the killing of managers, previous managers,
coworkers, customers, as well as spouses and partners.
III. TECHNIQUES FOR RESOLVING CONFLICTS
Successful, happy people must learn effective ways of resolving conflict. One important
consideration is to face conflict rather than ignoring it or smoothing it over. Presented here
are some field-tested approaches to conflict resolution. Most of them emphasize a
collaborative or win-win philosophy. Human Relations Self-Assessment Quiz 10-2 gives
you the opportunity to think through your style of managing conflict.
A. Being Assertive
Several of the techniques for resolving conflict described here require assertiveness.
Assertive people state clearly what they want or how they feel in a given situation
without being abusive, abrasive, or obnoxious. The assertive person asks for
clarification when another person says something irritating, rather than hurling insults
or telling the other person he or she is wrong.
B. Confrontation and Problem Solving Leading to Win-Win
A highly recommended way of resolving conflict is confrontation and problem-
solving. The person identifies the true source of conflict and then resolves it
systematically using a problem-solving approach. Tactfulness is recommended.
Reasonableness is important.
1. Win-Win Conflict Resolution. The intent of confrontation and problem solving is
to arrive at a collaborative solution to conflict. The collaborative style is based on
an underlying philosophy of win-win, the belief that after conflict has been
resolved, both sides should gain something of value.
2. Win-Lose Conflict Resolution. In win-lose conflict resolution, one side attempts
maximize gain at the expense of the other side. Win-lose is also referred to as a
zero-sum game, in which one side wins nothing and other side wins everything.
“My way or the highway” is a win-lose strategy. If faced with an adversary who
has a win-lose orientation, a plausible defense is to keep on pointing out the
benefits of finding a solution that fits both sides.
C. Disarm the Opposition
Disarm the opposition is a method of conflict resolution in which you disarm the
criticizer by agreeing with his or her criticism of you. The act of agreeing is disarming.
If you agree with the criticism, the criticizer no longer has reason to use his or her
armament. Disarming generally works more effectively than counterattacking a person
with whom you are in conflict.
D. Reframing (Including Cognitive Restructuring and Asking Questions)
Another useful approach to resolving conflict is to reexamine or reframe the conflict
situation by looking at it in a different light.
1. Reframing through Cognitive Restructuring. According to the technique of
cognitive restructuring, you mentally convert negative aspects into positive
ones by looking for positive elements in a situation. If you search for the
beneficial elements in a situation, there will be less area for dispute.
2. Reframing by Asking Questions. Another way to reframe is to step back, take a
deep breath, and then ask a few questions about the conflict situation that arises
in the workgroup. Two examples: “Do I fully understand the situation?” “Am I
sure what my coworker is really saying?”
E. Appeal to a Third Party and the Grievance Procedure
If you cannot resolve the problem yourself, make a formal appeal to a higher-level
official or authority. Virtually all employers have some sort of appeal process. A
labor union represents another method of appealing to a third party. In some
situations, simply implying that you will bring in a third party to help resolve the
conflict situation is sufficient for you to gain advantage.
The formal process of filing a complaint and resolving a dispute is the grievance
procedure. It can also be regarded as a third-party method of resolving conflict. The
steps in the grievance procedure may vary from one to six. Typical steps are as
follows:
1. Initiation of the formal grievance. If not settled, go on to step 2.
2. Second-level of management. If not settled, go on to step 3.
3. A higher-level manager and the local union president. If not settled, go on to step
4.
4. Arbitration. (Only about 1 percent of grievances go all the way to arbitration.)
Mediation is often confused with arbitration. A mediator is a third party who enters
a controversy and helps the two sides find a resolution to their conflict.
F. Negotiating and Bargaining Tactics
Another strategy for resolving conflict is negotiating and bargaining, or conferring
with another person to resolve a problem. A sampling of tactics is presented next.
1. Deal with Your Anxiety about the Upcoming Negotiation
Deal with the anxiety that often precedes entering negotiation by reframing
anxiety as excitement. Build your confidence by practicing negotiation when the
opportunity presents itself, such as negotiating for more time to complete an
important project.
2. Create a Positive Negotiating Climate. Negotiation proceeds much more swiftly
if a positive tone surrounds the session.
3. Listen First to Investigate What the Other Side Wants. “Whoever talks the most
during a negotiation loses.” Being the first to listen helps establish trust, and is
also useful in digging for information as to why the other side wants what it
does.”
4. Allow Room for Compromise but Be Reasonable. The basic strategy of
negotiation is to begin with a demand that allows room for compromise and
concession. Beginning with a plausible demand or offer is also important because
it contributes to a positive negotiating climate.
5. Focus on Interests, Not Positions. Rather than clinging to specific negotiating
points, keep your overall interests in mind and try to satisfy them. Among the
interests you and the other side might be trying to protect include money,
lifestyle, power, or the status quo.
6. Make a Last and Final Offer. Make your final offer and leave politely. The other
side can get in touch with you if your offer becomes acceptable.
7. Allow for Face Saving. Avoid making the other side feel crushed, especially if
you will have to work together later.
IV. DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
A major challenge in resolving conflict is to deal constructively with difficult people. A
coworker is classified as difficult if he or she is uncooperative, touchy, defensive, or very
unfriendly. An example of a difficult person would be the high maintenance person who
requires considerable assistance and attention. Some difficult people have a personality
disorder—a pervasive, inflexible, maladaptive pattern of behavior that deviates from
expected cultural norms. Such people are unlikely to respond to the suggestions described
below. The following tactics are designed to deal with difficult people:
1. Take Problems Professionally, Not Personally. A key principle in dealing with a
variety of personalities is to take what they do professionally, not personally. To a
difficult person, you might just represent a stepping-stone to getting what they
want.
2. Give Ample Feedback. The primary technique for dealing with counterproductive
behavior is to feed back to the difficult person how his or her behavior affects
you.
3. Listen and Respond. Give the difficult person ample opportunity to express his or
her concerns, doubts, anger, or other feelings. Then acknowledge your awareness
of the person’s position.
4. Use Tact and Diplomacy in Dealing with Annoying Behavior. Tactful actions on
your part can sometimes take care of annoyances without having to confront the
problem. An example would be point to your computer screen to indicate you are
too busy to deal with a coworker.
5. Use Nonhostile Humor. Nonhostile humor can often be used to help a difficult
person understand how his or her behavior is blocking others. Also, the humor
will help defuse conflict between you and that person.
6. Avoid Creating a Dependency On You. A trap to avoid with many difficult
people, and especially the high-maintenance person, is to let him or her become
too dependent on you for solutions to problems.
7. Reinforce Civil Behavior and Good Moods. When a generally difficult person is
behaving acceptably, recognize the behavior in some way. Reinforcing statements
would include, “It’s fun working with you today.”
It may be necessary to use a combination of the seven tactics described in this section to
deal effectively with a difficult person. The goal is to establish a cordial and productive
working relationship.
V. SUGGESTIONS FOR MANAGING ANGER
Limited ability to deal with anger damages the career and personal life of many people.
Managing personal anger as well as the anger of others is now considered to be part of
emotional intelligence. Novaco says that anger is embedded with many other emotions
To manage anger in other people, a variation of confrontation and problem solving has
been developed: (1) confront, (2) contain, and (3) connect. Confronting means jumping
right in; contain means getting the worker out of sight; and connect takes place through
an open-ended question.
C. Choosing a Tactic for Resolving a Conflict or Managing Anger
In choosing a tactic for resolving conflict or managing anger, consider both your
personality and the situation. Pick a tactic for resolving conflict that you would feel
comfortable using. In fitting the strategy to the situation, it is important to assess the
gravity of the topic for negotiation or conflict between people.
Have students visit the Queendom website for an Anger Profile self-assessment at
http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=669
Visit the American Psychological Association website to learn much more about
Controlling Anger – Before It Controls You at
http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx.
ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION AND REVIEW
10.1 Why are person-to-person meetings often better for resolving conflict than sending
written messages back and forth?
10.2 Imagine that after two weeks on a new job that you want, your boss begins to treat you in
a bullying, intimidating manner. What would you say to that boss?
10.3 Many male managers who confer with a female worker in their offices leave the door
open to avoid charges of sexual harassment. Are these managers using good judgment or
are they being overly cautious?
10.4 Suppose one member of our work team of five people is passive-aggressive. How might
that affect the productivity of the team?
10.5 Identify several occupations in which conflict-resolution skills are particularly important.
10.6 Visualize a person taking the road test part of obtaining a driver’s license. The candidate
has done a poor job of parallel parking, and the examiner looks at him or her with a
frown and says, “Not very impressive.” How can the candidate make use of the tactic,
“disarm the opposition”?
10.7 How might a person use cognitive restructuring to help deal with the conflict of having
received a below-average raise, yet expecting an above-average raise?
10.8 Which negotiating tactic are you the most likely to use the next time you face a situation
in which negotiation is possible? Explain the reason for your choice.
10.9 Suppose a company has a “no jerks allowed” policy. Who should have the right to decide
which people are “jerks”?
10.10 Suppose you thought the reason that a coworker was a difficult person was because he or
she had a true personality disorder. Would you recommend to that person directly that he
or she seek mental health treatment? Explain your reasoning.
make an appropriate referral.
COMMENTS ON EXERCISES AND CASES
Human Relations Self-Assessment Quiz 10-1: Am I Dealing with a Passive-Aggressive
Personality?
Of course, this quiz is not intended to be a valid measure of diagnosing a passive-aggressive
personality—and therefore passing the diagnosis on to the individual suspected of being passive
aggressive. Yet observing the symptoms listed in the quiz will alert the student to the fact that the
difficult person is passive-aggressive.
Human Relations Self-Assessment Quiz 10-2: Collaborative versus Competitive Styles of Conflict
Management
A realistic approach to understanding conflict management styles is to divide them into two
broad types: collaborative (win-win) versus competitive (win-lose). The win-win approach
emphasizes collaboration and relationship-building between the both sides. The win-lose
approach emphasizes maximizing gain for oneself and minimizing gain for the other side. The
common-sense approach is the competitive style. Each statement on the quiz taps an underlying
attitude in relation to resolving conflict. Statement Number 7 is an example of a quite direct
attitude statement: “The winner should take all.” Statement number 9 is more subtle: “I like the
idea of tournaments in which first-round losers receive another opportunity to play.”
Students for whom English is a second language, may need help in interpreting “smash–
mouth” attitude, as mentioned in statement Number 4. Ask for a volunteer to define the term.
Applying Human Relations Exercise 10-1: Win-Win Conflict Management
We have found this exercise effective in raising awareness of the challenge of finding solutions
to conflict that satisfy both sides. However, it is also probable that using the collective
intelligence of the group will facilitate finding win-win solutions to the problem described.
Finding win-win solutions to conflicts would improve world conditions as well as everyday
living. The profession of mediation is based on finding win-win solutions to conflicts.
A win-win solution to this conflict is enormously significant because in the current era there is
a big push to raise the income of lower-income workers. However, many restaurant owners are
being forced out of business because of this humanitarian initiative. A key win-win resolution
here is for the workers to enhance their productivity so much that the owner will have enough
revenue to cover the extra four dollars per hours—and perhaps earn higher profits. For example,
if the food quality increases, and the dining room service is exceptional, the restaurant might
experience a substantial revenue increase.
Human Relations Skill-Building Exercise 10-2: Reframing through Cognitive Restructuring
A potential take-away from this exercise is that cognitive restructuring is not simply a method
rewording a problem, but an opportunity to think through a negative situation to look for the
hidden value.
One possible interpretation for “Nancy” is for the student to think about the opportunity to
gain supervisory experience in helping a slower worker enhance her productivity. One way of
restructuring the situation with “Rob” is that the worker will now gain some useful experience in
confrontation and problem solving. With respect to the micromanaging boss, here is an
opportunity to practice dealing constructively with a micromanager—a person most people
encounter during their career.
Human Relations Class Activity: Negotiating for a Bigger Raise
Negotiating for a bigger raise is a complex challenge because employers have become quite
conservative in granting salary increases. This exercise affords class members an opportunity to
again practice data collection and at the same time gain a few insights into dealing with an
eminently practical problem.
Human Relations Case Study 10-1: Diego Feels Sexually Harassed
This case is useful in illustrating a growing form of sexual harassment—an older woman against
a younger male.
10.11 What advice can you offer Diego in dealing with his relationship with Sylvia?
10.12 What advice can you offer Sylvia about dealing with her relationship with Diego?
10.13 To what extent do you think Diego is being sexually harassed? If you think Diego is a
sexual harassment victim what actions should he take?
10.14 To what extent does Ashley being “passionate” justify her expression of anger toward
coworkers?
10.15 What do you recommend that Ashley’s manager and coworkers do to make her a less
difficult person in the office?
10.16 What career advice might you offer Ashley? (Or, does she need any Advice?)
A Human Relations Role-Playing Exercise: Ashley Lashes Out
This role play should invite considerable expression of emotion. Look to see if the sales rep is
successful in getting the conflict on a problem-solving mode instead of simply retaliating.
. SUPPLEMENTARY CLASS ACTIVITY
Assign students to teams of 3-5 members for a negotiation activity. Present the groups with
topics for negotiation – such as adding an extra week of vacation for employees or changing the
amount of the premiums employees pay for their insurance coverage. You could also use
personal topics such as whether a parent should work or stay home to raise the children. Then
assign different student teams to argue the opposite sides of the topic or issue.
Ask the teams to prepare for negotiations by reviewing the negotiating and bargaining tactics.
After teams prepare, have them negotiate for their positions. Other student teams can observe
what tactics the negotiating teams use, and how effective they are. Debrief after each set of teams
are finished.