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CHAPTER 5:
Listening and Responding
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
After studying this chapter, students will be able to:
1. Explain the principle of listening and responding thoughtfully to others.
2. Identify the elements of the listening process.
3. Describe four listening styles.
4. Identify and describe barriers that keep people from listening well.
5. Identify and use strategies that can improve your listening skills.
6. Identify and use appropriate responding skills.
TEACHING OUTLINE
I. The Importance of Listening and Responding Skills
A. Listening Enhances Our Relationships with Others
B. Listening Helps Us Collaborate with Others
C. Listening Links Speaker and Audience
II. How We Listen
A. Selecting
B. Attending
C. Understanding
D. Remembering
E. Responding
III. Listening Styles
A. Relational Listening Style
B. Analytical Listening Style
C. Critical Listening Style
D. Task-Oriented Listening Style
E. The Benefits of Understanding Your Listening Style
1. Enhance Your Self-Awareness
2. Adapt to Different Listening Situations
3. Communicate Effectively
IV. Listening Barriers
A. Self Barriers
1. Self-Focus
2. Emotional Noise
3. Criticism
B. Information-Processing Barriers
1. Processing Rate
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2. Information Overload
3. Receiver Apprehension
4. Shifting Attention
5. Cultural Differences
C. Context Barriers
1. Barriers of Time
2. Barriers of Place
V. Improving Your Listening Skills
A. Stop: Turn Off Competing Messages
1. Be Aware of Competing Messages
2. Stop Internal Noise
3. Socially Decenter
B. Look: Listen with Your Eyes
1. Attend to the Meta-Message
2. Nonverbally Communicate Your Interest in the Other Person
C. Listen: Understand Both Details and Major Ideas
1. Identify Your Listening Goal
2. Mentally Summarize the Details of the Message
3. Link Message Details with the Major Idea of the Message
4. Practice by Listening to Difficult or Challenging Material
5. Work to Overcome Listening Barriers
6. Don’t Interrupt
7. Listen Actively
VI. Improving Your Responding Skills
CLASS DISCUSSION QUESTION SETS
Because listening is a very personal skill, some students may feel defensive
with some of these questions. As a result, some of the questions are designed
to interject some humor.
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How do you define listening?
Is it the same as hearing?
• Why not?
How does listening work?
Why are you here today?
• Ok, beyond the attendance policy, why did you choose to come?
• So, could you have chosen to do something else? Like what?
• How many of you are channel surfers?
• So as you surf, you choose specific sources?
Once you’ve chosen the channel, what must you do?
• How does selection differ from attending?
• How many different external stimuli could you attend to right now?
• So, in a way, everyone in here provides potential stimuli for us to focus
on?
How do you listen?
• What were the elements? (select, attend, understand, remember, and
respond)
• How do we decide what to attend to when listening?
• Is listening only an auditory skill? In other words, are we only using our
ears? What else is involved?
• Instructors who feel comfortable with oral interpretation can take the
poem “Listen” at the end of the Chapter and perform two units dryly
without interpretation and two units with interpretation. Were the readings
the same? What was different?
• Which gave you more understanding? Why?
Can we remember everything we hear?
• Why not?
• How does self-awareness impact your ability to recall information?
• Run a psychological memory test: “I want all of you to remember three
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• Call out the name of a student who has been paying attention. “What
was the month?”
• Why did you remember that?
• Call another student by name and ask for the color.
• Will the color, month, or animal appear on a test? No.
• Then what gives it significance?
• Everyone, what’s the animal?
Have any of you ever had a conversation with someone who failed to
respond the way you needed or wanted?
• How did it make you feel?
• Are most people self-centered or other centered when they listen? Why
do you say this?
• So, to be a good communicator, what must we learn to do?
How well do American audiences listen on average? On average, how
much do American audiences retain? 25%
• Is this a problem?
• How much of your day do you spend listening, reading, writing, or
speaking?
• How much academic training have you receive in writing? Reading?
Speaking? Listening?
• So we spend the majority of our time listening, but receive the least
amount of training on that skill.
• Are we turning back into an oral society?
• How many of you read a newspaper today? How many of you have
heard the news on radio or television?
• Would you prefer to read a story or watch its movie?
• Do you think technology is leading us to greater reliance on listening
skills? Are we prepared for this?
• How do we overcome listening barriers?
What do your authors mean by self-barriers?
• Do we give our full focus when people speak with us?
• What are some of the things that get in the way?
• Have you ever been pre-occupied when talking with another person?
• Is human nature self-directed or other directed?
• Can we control our emotions?
• Imagine you have just had a horrible day. Your boy-/girlfriend has
decided to end your relationship, you have a term paper due in two days
that you’ve yet start, and your mother is complaining that your family
never gets to see you anymore. Your best friend comes to you with a
problem. What should you do? Should you pretend to listen? Should
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you suggest a time out and tell him/her that you can’t help right now?
Should you deny your problems and listen openly to your friend?
• When listening to others, should we try to be unemotional or is it ok to
allow emotions to come into play? How much is too much?
How does the context affect the way we listen?
• What types of barriers of place can you think of and why does each
interfere with listening?
• What types of barriers of time can you think of and why does each
interfere with listening?
• How might you overcome the barriers you named in your lists of barrier of
place and time?
What do your authors mean by competing messages?
• Name 5-7 situations in which you have or might encounter competing
messages?
• What did you do or what could you do to overcome the issue of
competing messages?
at work, first date, or other situation? What was the situation?
• Get a few situations. If students are hesitant to respond, break the ice
with an example of your own; I think most of us have had at least one
episode of apprehension.
• So what caused the anxiety? Likely, a variety of issues will be raised
including, but not limited to: source communication style; complexity of
ideas; physical or mental condition of the receiver; perceived importance
of the communication encounter; personality conflict or threat; size of
class; pedagogy (interactive vs. straight lecture).
• So what does this tell you about your communication style?
• How can you use this information in organizing a class schedule, having
a confrontation with someone at home or work, arranging a first date?
What do you think about anticipatory communication?
• How would the U.S. culture be different if most people engaged in
anticipatory communication?
• Do you think that anticipatory communication is a part of listening or do
you think it is simply an attempt to guess at the needs of the speaker?
Explain.
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• Have YOU ever engaged in anticipatory listening? If you have, in what
way and what was the setting?
Are you a morning, afternoon, or night person?
• When do you feel most energized?
• When do you feel most tired?
• What does this tell you about organizing your class schedule?
What is noise?
• What noise factors did you notice?
• If two people are talking during a lecture and disrupt your ability to
concentrate, what SHOULD you do? If necessary, should you move?
• What do you lose if you miss a few notes in a class? 2 points on a test?
• What do you lose in the real world where there are no paper and pencil
tests? Information on safety, promotions, raises, security, procedures,
etc.?
• Which of these can you miss without affecting you?
If communication is continuous, how can you stop? Trick question:
communication is continuous, topics are not. How do you stop? Turn off
competing messages, eliminate noise factors.
The authors suggest that good communicators listen with their eyes. Do
you agree?
• How can I listen with my eyes?
• Should you point out what you observe with statements like, “You seem
nervous,” “Are you feeling ok, you seem down,” or, “I’ve never seen you
so happy.”
• How might this influence the communication event?
How should we balance details and major ideas?
• What’s wrong with focusing on details?
Of the four listening styles, which is the best one to have?
• Encourage a lively discussion around this question. Most students will
ultimately agree that a mix of listening styles is preferred and a listener’s
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flexibility is key depending on the situation. Discuss the benefits of
knowing your own listening style as well as the listening preferences of
others.
This section is best dealt with in the activities section so only a few questions
will be offered here.
What is the platinum rule?
• How does it differ from the golden rule?
What is the difference between criticism and empathy?
What shape should we be in before attempting an empathic encounter?
• If you are angry, frustrated, or depressed, should you try to help someone
else? Why or why not?
• If you are pushed for time, should you become involved?
• Can you become too involved with someone else? How?
Why are feelings important?
• If you are uncomfortable expressing your own feelings, can you help
someone else?
In an empathic encounter, are statements or questions best?
Why is paraphrasing important?
How can you paraphrase emotions?
JOURNAL QUESTIONS
1. Analyze your listening style. Under most circumstances, would you say that
you are an aware or an inert communicator? In what situations would you
consider yourself to be an inert communicator? In what situations are you
most aware? Would others agree? Do you think you are good at decoding
others’ verbal and nonverbal messages? Would you say that you listen well,
moderately or poorly?
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2. Monitor your listening behavior for a day. Use a notepad and make note of
various sources of communication you choose, attend to, etc. As an
example, while typing at the computer to complete your homework, you may
have a radio or television going in the background. Which source are you
choosing? Does the other source serve as noise or as a compliment to your
work? Suddenly, the phone rings. Do you choose this source or allow the
3. The authors address several barriers to effective listening related to self–
occupation, information processing, and context. What do you consider your
4. During the next three days, keep a written track record of your dominant
listening style. In your journal, create a grid that lists the four types of
listening styles: people-oriented, action-oriented, content-oriented, and time-
oriented. Include a brief description of each. After every listening occasion,
place a checkmark by the type of listening style you used. Be honest—
accurate and truthful reports will help you uncover your true listening
preferences. In a journal entry, describe the style that you used most often.
Consider how your reliance on this style influences the behaviors of others
(e.g., do friends always come to you with their problems because you are
more people-oriented; or, do they avoid coming to you with their problems
because you are more time-oriented?). Repeat this analysis for the style that
you used least often. In your journal, discuss how you would like to modify
your listening preferences in the future.
5. The book suggests that to become an effective communicator, you should
stop, look, and listen. Over the next week, make a conscious effort to do
this. Rather than writing on times you successfully accomplished this,
describe situations where you failed to follow through. What situations are
most likely to cause a knee-jerk reaction? When were you guilty of mindless
processing and simply pretending to listen? Were you surprised by the
frequency of times you caught yourself in this mode? With which area do
you think you have the most difficulty—stop, look, or listen?
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ACTIVITIES
Activity 5.1: What Did You Choose?
The activity and debriefing will take between 15 to 20 minutes depending on
how active your group is.
Before running this assignment, it might be helpful to choose a confederate.
Choose a student in class who seems to know most of the students. It is best to
simply arrive early and choose one of the students already in attendance. Tell
them that you will leave class for a few moments and that you want them to
observe the behavior in the class. Tell them not to be too obvious in their
observations, but rather make simple notes to record who is talking with whom,
sleeping, reading, or working on other projects.
following questions:
• Why did you choose that source?
• Did any of you choose to sleep?
(Check with your confederate on each activity.)
Speaking with your confederate:
• What did you choose as your information source?
• Were you able to concentrate on any conversation in particular?
• So what did you attend to?
• Is communication a conscious choice or an automatic action we use to fill
time?
This can serve as a nice lead-in to the first three objectives.
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Activity 5.2: What’s Your Goal?
The following activity will take between 5 to 20 minutes to complete depending
on the length of the videotape you create and the response of your class.
Create a videotape with 10- to 20-second dubs. Intermix cartoons with news
stories; sitcoms with speeches by political leaders and religious figures; fashion
shows with ultra-conservative or ultra-liberal rhetoric. Be sure to include limited
appeal shows, such as cooking, gardening or carpentry, as well as sporting
clips. Randomly mix the selections so that students cannot predict the
sequence. A five-minute tape is a good length.
Following the activity lead a discussion on active vs. passive listening. Identify
segments where students employed different listening strategies. Talk about
the physical changes that occurred with regard to posture, body tension,
feedback, eye contact, etc.
Let this move into a discussion of communication barriers.
Self-Barriers
Information Processing Barriers
Context Barriers
• Time
• Place
Ask for specific information they picked up to register cognitive processing.
Warning: The more extreme the clips you include the more likely you’ll be to
gain specific reactions. The risk, of course, is that if you play scenes from the
Chris Rock Show, Style, extreme religious programming, or political
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commentary, you will be more likely to offend some students. This warning is
balanced with the idea of academic freedom and the goal of teaching tolerance.
So while there is risk, there is also a strong benefit.
Activity 5.3: Stop, Look and Listen
While this activity repeats an activity suggested in the chapter, it is included here
because it does have a strong potential for helping students understand the
value of applying the concepts in the text. The activity will take roughly fifty
minutes. Instructors may include a response paper for a graded activity.
Ask students to think of a recent argument where they didn’t get to say what that
they would have liked to have said. Tell students that this is their opportunity.
Warn students against too much self-disclosure, though, and let them know that
it would perhaps be safer to deal with non-romantic issues (although they may
choose whatever they would like). In each triad, one person will be a speaker,
the second a receiver and the third an observer. The observer is to note the
source’s behavior, but take particular care to analyze the receiver’s behavior
and communication style. In setting up the situation, tell students that the goal of
this activity is to have them practice empathic communication styles.
Activity 5.4: What’s Your Favorite Place?
The activity will take between 5 and 10 minutes.
Pair students into dyads in which one will be the source and the other the
receiver. Tell students they are first to discover a favorite place that the other
person does not know about. It may be a restaurant, night club, place on
Note: the assignment may be modified for students who have particular interests
in common. As an example, it is possible to substitute a favorite recipe for a
favorite place.
Activity 5.5: Strengths and Limitations
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The activity will last between 30 and 40 minutes. Post sheets with the names of
the four listening styles at different points in the room. Briefly review each style.
Ask students to stand by the sheet that best describes their dominant listening
style. Post a sheet of flipchart paper by each listening style “station” and give
“strengths” and the other “limitations.” Then, give the groups 3 minutes to
brainstorm the strengths and limitations of their dominant listening style. After
time has expired, tell the groups to move clockwise to the next listening style
station. Have the students work in their groups to brainstorm strengths and
limitations for this listening style using their assigned-color markers (this will help
link each group with their written comments). Repeat this process until all
groups have rotated back to their original learning style stations. Have the
groups review their peers’ written comments and circle what they feel are the
top three strengths and limitations of their dominant listening style. Have each
group give a brief presentation to the class. Facilitate a discussion on how we
developed our dominant listening styles. Discuss specific ways we can flex our
style to fit different listening situations.
communication style and not someone else’s.
Suggest that observers not be overly easy on their subjects. They will do no
favors by sugar-coating their response just to spare the other person’s feelings.
Activity 5.6: Decentering
According to the textbook, social decentering involves stepping away from your
ASSIGNMENTS
No formal assignments are offered for this chapter.
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Observer Rating Form
Rate the receiver on the following scale:
1 is strongly disagree, 2 is disagree, 3 is neither agree or disagree, 4 is agree, 5 is
strongly agree.
1. The receiver seemed interested in the conversation. 1 2 3 4 5
2. The receiver seemed calm during the conversation. 1 2 3 4 5
3. The receiver paid careful attention throughout the conversation. 1 2 3 4 5
6. The receiver asked several probing questions to clarify content. 1 2 3 4 5
7. The receiver accurately paraphrased the content of the message. 1 2 3 4 5
8. The receiver accurately paraphrased the emotional content. 1 2 3 4 5
9. The receiver’s responses were appropriately brief. 1 2 3 4 5
11. The receiver’s responses were clear. 1 2 3 4 5
12. The receiver’s responses were useful. 1 2 3 4 5
13. The receiver kept emotions at an appropriate level. 1 2 3 4 5