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Beebe/Beebe/Ivy Communication: Principles for a Lifetime 6e
29
CHAPTER 3:
Understanding Verbal Messages
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
After studying this chapter, students will be able to:
1. List two reasons why it is important to study verbal communication.
2. Summarize how words are used as symbols that have denotative,
3. Identify five primary ways in which words have power.
4. Describe the major ways in which language reveals bias about race, ethnicity,
nationality, religion, gender, sexual orientation, age, class, and ability.
5. Explain how language helps create supportive or defensive communication
climates.
TEACHING OUTLINE
I. Why Focus on Language?
A. Words Are Powerful
B. You Choose Language
II. The Nature of Language
A. People Use Words as Symbols
B. People Attach Meanings to Words
C. People Create Denotative and Connotative Meanings for Words
D. People Convey Concrete and Abstract Meanings through Words
E. Meanings Are Culture Bound
F. Meanings Are Context Bound
III. The Power of Words
A. The Power to Create and Label Experience
B. The Power to Communicate Feelings
IV. Confronting Bias in Language
A. Biased Language: Race, Ethnicity, Nationality, and Religion
B. Biased Language: Gender and Sexual Orientation
1. Language and the Sexes
2. Language and Sexual Orientation
C. Biased Language: Age, Class, and Ability
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V. Using Words to Establish Supportive Relationships
A. Describe Your Own Feelings Rather Than Evaluate Others
B. Solve Problems Rather Than Control Others
C. Be Genuine Rather Than Manipulative
D. Empathize Rather Than Remain Detached from Others
E. Be Flexible Rather Than Rigid Toward Others
F. Present Yourself as Equal Rather Than Superior
G. Avoid Gunny-Sacking
CLASS DISCUSSION QUESTION SETS
How do words work?
Point to an object in the class (chalk, chair, desk, or book) and ask
students:
• “What is this?” Why? Who named it?
• Must we use that specific word or can we change it?
• What conditions would have to exist before we can change something’s
What do words mean?
Play a word association game with students and have them write 10
responses, single words only, to the following words: Dog, Date, Home,
Job, and School.
• Take each word in turn and start generating a list of associated words.
You may need to probe with questions like: did anyone put down pet
names? What are they? What positive words did you come up with? Did
any of you put down negative terms? Why did you choose these words?
• Did the words come automatically or did you have to think about them?
• What might this suggest about predispositions to act? Avoid taking this to
bias, though, as this will be covered in another section.
• Were the meanings you wrote down literal meanings or personal?
• So based on this, as communicators, to which do we pay more attention—
literal definitions or personal definitions?
Take this to a discussion of “Meanings are in people, they are not in words.”
Follow up: Now look at the list of words you created to describe each word. How
many more words could you associate with each of the words you chose? So
when we hear the word “Dog,” are we actually generating hundreds of constructs
to determine our reaction to the word? This can go back to the ideas of symbol
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usage and meaning. Important issues to address are the denotative vs. the
connotative meaning of words.
Do animals think?
What do animals think about?
• If a cat/dog is hungry, what do they look for? The point is to make students
aware that while animals do think, they are bound to their physical world
and concrete constructs.
• How do we use symbols to express our physical world?
• If so, where do we get concepts like God, metaphysics, love, altruism,
democracy?
• Can you point to these in the physical world?
Does symbolism create a separate reality?
• How many of you are hungry or tired?
rudeness real? Are these rules concrete or abstract?
As humans, which reality is more important to us? Concrete or abstract?
• When we insult someone, what words do we use? This one is somewhat
dangerous in that the goal is to get students to use words like animal, dog,
bitch, beast, or phrases like lives like a pig, fat as a porker, eats like a
horse, etc. The point is to get students to see that we are offended by the
concrete, physical world. What does this imply?
Do you say soda, pop, cola, or coke?
How does culture influence language choices?
• Create a list of cultural distinctions that influence language. Examples
might include age, gender, group affiliations, ethnicity, religious
orientations, occupations, and region.
• Take a word such as good, bad, or child. What other words can be
created?
• Does culture enhance or hinder understanding? This can lead to a
discussion of Ebonics or other related issues.
• If you want a fight, ask, “Should the United States have only one official
language?”
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How does context influence the meaning of words?
• Choose a set of words that have multiple meanings, like Apple, Mac,
Coke, fast, hot, or cool, and have students generate as many meanings as
they can.
• How does context influence our understanding of meanings?
Are words powerful?
When does something become dangerous?
• It must be named or identified. Examples include AIDS, cancer, Dioxin,
stalking, adultery, etc.
• If something doesn’t have a name, can we correct it? Lead a discussion
on the evolution of terms like sexual harassment, road rage, hate crime, or
school violence/harassment, which has yet to be named. So what makes
something real?
Think about some of the neologisms that have come into use in the past
several year:
[Direct students to make a list of as many of these new words as they can.]
• Where did these words come from?
• Why were new words “needed?”
• Who created these words? Will these words last? Will these words lose
their usefulness, like the words “telegraph” and “telegram” have?
• How do neologisms become part of the local, national or global lexicon?
How can language shape culture?
• Generate a list of common or occupation-based slang.
• Although this idea will be repeated in the nonverbal unit, you may ask,
How does language make or break a relationship?
• Warning!!!! This one is dangerous!!!
• What does the phrase, “I love you” really mean?
How do our language choices reflect who we are?
What is meant by allness?
• Is it incorrect to use the word man to stand for humankind?
• Is it incorrect to use gender specific pronouns?
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• When quoting authors of past generations, should a speaker/writer rewrite
phrases that include allness? As an example, should the phrase, “Man is
the symbol using, symbol making, symbol misusing animal,” be replaced
with “Humans are the symbol . . .”?
• Many languages, particularly the romance languages, carry an inherent
masculine/feminine bias where nouns and verbs must incorporate the
correct gender to be considered grammatically correct. Although the
English language carries some bias with regard to gender, it is not as
overt as previously noted. If the goal of modern day linguists and
communication scholars is to neuter the English language, what
implications might this hold for other languages such as Spanish, French,
Italian, and Portuguese? What cultural implications could you foresee?
The authors argue that heterosexist language is a subtle form of bias. Do
you agree?
• How sensitive should a speaker be to alternative relationships?
• If a speaker acknowledges gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual orientations, should
they also be sensitive to celibacy, monogamy, polygamy (multiple
partnered), or other lifestyles?
• Individuals who participate in gay, lesbian, or bi-sexual partnerships may
feel offended or left out when a speaker uses heterosexist language. By
contrast, individuals who participate in more traditional relationships may
be offended by language incorporating alternative relationships. Where
does a speaker draw the moral ground? In other words, damned if you
do, damned if you don’t; what do you do?
• Chapter 1 argues that good communicators adapt messages to specific
audiences, which means that language choices should be made
depending upon the audience we face. Consequently, should speakers
strive to always be politically correct, or should speakers adapt messages
to the perceived moral tolerance of the audience they face?
What kind of language is truly offensive?
• Strong caution is advised on this and instructors should carefully observe
students to see if they are mature enough to deal with these issues. What
words create a hostile or threatening environment? Ask students to
others? How should we deal with the words?
• As children, we are taught, “Sticks and stones may break our bones, but
words will never harm us.” Do you agree or disagree?
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How can communicators avoid offending everyone?
• Awareness is key to understanding what offends. With this in mind, ask
students to identify words that are offensive with regard to age, ability, or
class and write these words on the board.
What do the authors mean by a communication climate?
In business situations where legal law suits can be launched on what we
say, we should obviously be careful to use supportive climates. Is the
same true for our personal relationships?
• How do your parents speak to you?
• When you are talking with your friends, what climates do you create?
• When we use humor, what climates do we create or listen to?
The authors suggest that polarization can be interpreted as ultimatums.
Why?
• How do you feel when someone gives you only two choices?
• How many polar opposite choices can you name that would make a
listener uncomfortable?
• How many polar opposite choices can you name that would make a
listener comfortable?
• Explain how you determined your lists.
JOURNAL QUESTIONS
As in Chapter 2, questions generated in the discussion section are designed to
create safe topics that students can talk about in a public arena, the journal
questions are directed to a much more personal level. Instructors should take
care not to overreact to students’ writings. As this section deals with individual
biases students are likely to raise offensive or disturbing issues. If we are to
teach tolerance, we must extend tolerance as well.
1. What does your name mean? Talk with your parents and ask them why they
named you what they did. Does it have any particular significance? Family
tradition or relationship or significant meaning? Look at a baby book of
2. What words have special meanings for you? Create a list of words that
create positive and negative images. List 20 positive words that have a
special meaning to you. Do not worry about communicating the idea to your
instructor, just list the word. For example, a student named Michelle
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explained that the name Ariel conjured pleasant memories for her. While
other students thought of The Little Mermaid or Shakespeare’s Tempest,
Michelle associated the name Ariel with a former pet. Create 20 positive
words and 20 negative words. What do you notice about the lists? Would
other people have the same reactions to your list?
3. Set a timer for five minutes and begin creating a list of words. Simply
brainstorm and do not censor any responses; you may repeat constructs. At
the end of the time, go back through the list of words and circle all concrete
words. Did you create more concrete words or more abstract words? What
words are both concrete and abstract? The word money, for example, may
be both. Money may refer to an actual dollar or coin or it may refer to a more
general construct such as wealth or security. What words did you repeat?
Do you feel more connected with the concrete world or the abstract?
4. Think of a time you took a statement out of context or misunderstood an idea
because of regional or cultural usage of language. Describe what happened
and how the misunderstanding occurred. What implications does this have
for your communication patterns? Do you often find yourself in similar
circumstances? How might you improve your language acuity to better
manage these situations?
5. The authors argue that words have power, whereas the comedian George
Carlin argued that words are just words. Who’s right? Could they both be
right? Have you ever had a “magical” experience due to language? How do
phrases like, “I love you,” “I hate you,” “You’re bright,” “You’re stupid,” or
other similar statements affect you?
6. Read a paper you have written for another course. Evaluate your use of
pronouns and allness. Identify how many times you have used a masculine
pronoun vs. a feminine pronoun. Do you notice a pattern emerging? What
does your use of pronouns and allness reveal about you? Does it reveal
anything? How should you modify your style?
7. What do your language choices reveal about you? What gender or sex-
based biases do you notice in your own language choices? What epithets,
insults, or vulgarities are you likely to use when you are angry? Do you feel
they are inappropriate? Why do you use them? How can you change them?
If you do not notice any overt statements, do you omit statements? What
does this say about you? Do you feel an obligation to incorporate all sexual
orientations? Or, do you feel it would be inappropriate to most communication
settings? Is the last question simply a cop out to avoid the issue?
8. What words do you find offensive? If you had the power to eradicate ten
words from the English language, which words would you eliminate? Note:
The words do not have to be recognized by the Oxford English Dictionary;
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they may include slang, jargon, or colloquialisms. Now, consider this: by
eliminating the word, do you eliminate the action? As an example: the word
Racism — if we didn’t have the word, would we have the action? Defend
your response.
9. Think of an unpleasant communication encounter where you were guilty of
using defensive climates. As best you can, write a script of the event as it
occurred. Once it is completed, rewrite the script using supportive climates
instead of the defensive ones. What differences do you notice? Which script
is longer? In which script do you feel more powerful? Which script provides
the greatest degree of communication?
ACTIVITIES
Activity 3.1: Do You Know What I Mean?
Begin reading the following proverbs to your class and ask them to identify the
meanings. Do not reveal what they are until students begin to grasp what is
happening. Once students understand, give them some of the unused proverbs
and ask them to increase the level of abstraction.
1. Compounds of hydrogen and oxygen in the proportion of 2 to 1 that are
without visible movement invariably tend to flow with profundity.
2. A superfluity of culinary experts tends to disarrange the preparation of cooking
stock.
3. Where there is sufficient positive volition, a successful conclusion might be
anticipated.
4. Objects that temporarily defy the laws of gravity will eventually return to a
state of inertia.
5. Never calculate the number of juvenile poultry before the normal period of
incubation has elapsed.
6. Excessive observation of a receptacle containing a liquid heated to achieve a
simmering point rarely accomplishes its goal.
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7. The chemical structure of circulatory fluid has greater viscosity than the
colorless, transparent liquid occurring on earth as rivers, lakes, or oceans.
8. That which was easily acquired with little or no effort is often dissipated in a
likewise fashion.
9. Positive outcomes are often visited on those who understand the gift of
patience.
10. An individual cursed with the mental capacities of a simpleton may be
separated from his capital means through less than diligent practices.
11. Although an individual may express positive inspiration, their physical
capacities may limit their ability to complete a stated goal.
12. Do not utter loud or passionate vocal expressions resulting in saline
secretions from the orbital fossa over the accidental overturning of a decanter
containing a white nutritive fluid.
13. The return of an injury or offense is best delivered on refrigerated, porcelain,
shallow plate.
Activity 3.2: What Does The Word Really Mean?
The following activity will take 20 to 30 minutes to complete.
Give each student a word from the list below. If you want to include all students
in your class, you may need to repeat or create additional words and meanings,
but this will greatly expand the time commitment of the exercise. Each word is
designed to have multiple meanings and students may choose whatever
meaning they wish. In all cases suggestions are provided in parenthesis to avoid
overly modern interpretations of statements, but be forewarned that students will
be more likely to use the most modern definitions. This is not necessarily bad
though, as you can use this to stimulate a discussion of age bias later. Once
students have received a word, randomly choose two students and tell them they
must use their word in a communicative transaction. Each student is to have one
sentence only, so the exercise should move quickly. Following the
performances, lead a discussion on the meaning of words with regard to cultural
and contextual understanding. Be sure to define culture beyond ethnicity to
include issues such as age, occupation, group affiliation, etc. An important point
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to address is that words do not have objective meanings by themselves, but
rather meaning is created through discussion.
Dude Fag Bread
The Bomb Phat Sugar
Tits Pops Fast
Activity 3.3: Words Do Matter
This activity will take between 20 to 40 minutes of a class depending on the
quality of discussion that follows.
Divide the class by gender. Tell students they have ten minutes to create ten
statements about the opposite gender that they would like to see changed.
Obviously, this generates a Jerry Springer-type atmosphere and you will play
moderator. Normally statements are highly judgmental, so be prepared and
leave your own angst in your office. Begin with one group and let them read one
of their statements — “Men should stop lying.” Allow the men to respond and let
a discussion emerge. At a point, stop it and then allow men to respond —
“Women should be on time.” Again, allow a discussion to emerge. The point of
the interaction is to watch and observe students’ defenses. After a few
interactions, and once you have enough examples to work with, call the class to
order and facilitate a discussion.
Ask students if they felt as though they were being judged, how did it make them
feel, was the other side truly interested in their responses, and most important,
were some of the issues raised legitimate?
Once agreement is reached on this level you can begin addressing how many of
the same ideas could have been rephrased into more supportive climates.
Model a few of these and then tell students that the discussion will resume with
one more issue from each side, but this time they are to use the supportive styles
and you will now be the referee. If anyone violates supportive styles, they will be
out of the discussion and another member of their team will have to continue the
discussion. Monitor the behavior to see which team wins. Occasionally, an
entire team will eliminate themselves because they don’t think about what they
are saying.
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Note: A fun thing to have during this exercise is a whistle. Don’t be afraid to use
it.
Activity 3.4: Oh, Meet a Metaphor
This activity introduces students to the use of metaphors in everyday business.
The activity will take approximately 50 minutes. Have students break into small
groups and come up with as many sports metaphors and their meanings that are
applied in business as they can in the time you allot. Ex: Hit a home run = make
big sale, earn promotion, etc.
Why are these sports metaphors used in business? Is there a gendered
language aspect to them? Who brings them to the office and how do they
become part of the organization’s language? Are these metaphors good for the
organization or can they lead to a defensive climate? Explain.
If graded, instructors should take care not to overemphasize delivery as this is
not an oral interpretation class.
Activity 3.5: “Slanguage”
Have students brainstorm (in small groups or as an entire class) a list of slang
words used by current college students. Capture this list at the front of the room.
As you create the list, discuss whether all students share the same meaning of
every word (intersubjectivity). Facilitate a discussion to uncover the possible
reasons behind the differences in meanings. Compare the words’ denotative and
connotative meanings. Discuss why these words were chosen to explain
particular aspects of college life. Discuss how (and if) college “slanguage”
chosen.
ASSIGNMENTS
