you’ve become increasingly uncomfortable about this and want to distance yourself from what
you feel is unethical.
d. A co-worker in your office frequently talks out loud about her personal life, her opinions, her
problems, and almost anything that crosses her mind. She seems to do this without thinking.
Once she gets started, others join in. It’s hard to focus on your own work while this is going on.
4. Types of Conflict
Write an essay addressing the following points:
• Consider a recent conflict you’ve had with someone. Describe what happened. How did it start? How
did it escalate? How did it end?
• What type of conflict was it (topic, process, relational issues, or ego/identity issues)?
• Was the conflict resolved to your satisfaction? Why or why not? What outcome had you hoped for?
• Did your communication actions lead to your intended outcome? Why or why not? How could you
have changed your communication actions so they would reflect your intentions more accurately?
• How can a knowledge of conflict types help you?
5. Approaches to Conflict Management
Write an essay addressing the following points:
• Choose any three of the five approaches to conflict we’ve studied (avoiding; accommodating;
competing; collaborating; compromising). Illustrate each of these three styles of handling conflict with an
example from your own life.
• For each example, decide whether the conflict resolution style you used was the most effective, given
these circumstances. Explain.
• If it wasn’t the best choice, suggest a different way of managing the conflict.
How Assertive Are You?
Consider how assertive your own communications are by jotting down how you would probably
respond to each of the following situations. Don’t figure out what you think the most
“appropriate” response would be. Instead, respond according to your first reaction. Then label
each of your responses as assertive, avoidant, or competitive. Use the following shorthand: AS =
assertive; AV = avoidant; C = competitive.
1. The majority in a group (your supervisor and your peers) have stated a position
with which you disagree.
Your response:
2. You feel you deserve a raise. Your manager has not said anything about it, but you
feel it’s due.
Your response:
3. A colleague at work borrowed $250 from you last month. Four pay periods have
gone by with no mention of the loan.
Your response:
4. Around the water cooler at work, workers frequently tell racist, sexist, and
homophobic jokes that you find offensive, and that you feel contribute to a
negative work environment.
Your response:
5. In a meeting at work, one of the supervisors presents an argument based on
assumptions you know to be false.
Your response:
6. Another student (or work colleague) works with you and four others on a group
project but does absolutely no work. All group members will earn the same grade
(or get the same bonus).
Your response:
7. A new colleague at work wants to borrow your expensive watch, and you are
afraid it might be lost.
Your response:
8. Your boss takes advantage of you by asking you to accept all sorts of extra
responsibilities.
Your response:
IM 5-13
Win-Win Negotiation
Working in pairs, pick one of the cases below, and work through the first three steps in
conducting a win-win negotiation. Be prepared to share and analyze your solution with the class.
Negotiation Case #1:
Instructor (Person A): You are the instructor for a basic communication class in which
all instructors have agreed to follow a master syllabus and timetable. You have an exam
scheduled for Chapter 5, and although students have indicated they don’t feel they have
mastered the material, you believe if they read and study, they will understand it. You
will break your promise to the other instructors if your class falls behind.
Student (Person B): You have questions on Chapter 5 that haven’t been answered in
class. Although you’ve asked, you haven’t fully understood the answers. You and at least
half of the class would like the instructor to spend more time explaining the concepts and
postpone the exam for one class period.
Negotiation Case #2
Husband (Person A): You think it’s important to talk about your financial situation
(which is a little shaky at the moment) with your wife. You often bring up the topic of
money, but it seems you don’t make any headway with figuring out how to improve your
financial situation.
Wife (Person B): You don’t like to think about finances, let alone talk about them. To
you, it’s really stressful. You have enough stress in your life right now without having to
talk about finances. Yet your husband keeps bringing up the topic of money. You feel
really frustrated, and you just want to ignore the entire topic.
Negotiation Case #3
Office Manager for a Construction Company (Person A): You have recently been
diagnosed with cancer, so you have had to take off a number of sick days in the past
month. Now you are facing a new series of treatments, and you have just been told you
must take next Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off. This is an urgent treatment that
must not be delayed. Meanwhile, you are still trying to complete a major project that you
began before the cancer diagnosis. It’s for an important client, and it’s due by Monday.
Adding to the confusion, your company has just purchased a new building, and all
employees have been instructed that they must move themselves into their new offices by
Wednesday.
Owner of the Construction Company (Person B): You depend on your office manager
to keep your office running smoothly. She has always been capable and reliable, but
suddenly she is calling in sick a lot and is working much more slowly than normal. You
have agreed with your landlord that your current office will be completely cleared out by
Thursday morning to avoid paying next month’s rent. Yet it appears that your office
manager hasn’t even started to box up her items to move them. And, strangely, although
her work is typically prompt and thorough, this morning when you asked whether her
project for one of your top clients would be ready by Monday morning as she had
promised, she broke into tears. Other than yourself, she is the only person in your firm
who has been trained to do a project like this.
Negotiation Case #4
Scenario: Julia and Ken were divorced three months ago. They have two children, boys
aged 9 and 11. Julia and Ken still live in the same town, and both want to maintain an
active role in their boys’ upbringing.
Julia, ex-wife (Person A): Since the divorce, Julia has been keeping the boys Monday
through Friday. However, her job has a strict 8-5 schedule. She is able to get the boys to
school with no problem, but she cannot be with them between 2:30 -5:30. She earns less
than Keith does, and she is requesting $150/week to pay for childcare in the afternoons.
Keith, ex-husband (Person B): Keith’s job as a realtor gives him a fairly flexible
schedule, although he is usually busy every evening showing houses to clients after they
get off work. That’s why he arranged to let Julia take the boys during the week. He is
already contributing a lot of money for child support. Now Julia is requesting an
additional payment of $150/week for afternoon childcare. He wants the best for his
children, but with the housing market in stall mode, he wouldn’t be able to meet all his
expenses if he had to add $600/month to his outflow. He has tried to treat his ex-wife
fairly, but this additional demand is more than he can deal with.
IM 5-15
Win-Win Negotiation Worksheet
1. Identify the needs of each party: Include both task needs (money, deadlines, etc.) and
relational needs (respect, integrity, etc.). As you list each person’s needs, focus on the end goal,
not the specific means of establishing that goal.
Person A:
-Relational needs
-Task needs
Person B:
-Relational needs
-Task needs
2. Brainstorm a list of possible solutions. Before completing this step, look ahead in your text,
and read the advice about brainstorming found in Chapter 8. Following those guidelines will help
you think outside the box!
A.
B.
C.
D.
E.
3. Evaluate the alternate solutions, and select the solution (or combination of solutions)
that you think would work best for all parties. Explain your choice. Check your mindset.
You must cultivate a “problem-centered” attitude, not a “person-centered” attitude. Your
overarching goal should be to find a solution that benefits all parties concerned (recall Utilitarian
ethics from Chapter 1, which seeks the greatest good for the greatest number). If you’re trying to
get the “better deal” for yourself, your chances of reaching a win-win solution are low.
IM 5-16
Case Studies for Sexual Harassment Discussion
Adapted from the Ft. Bliss EO Training site, available at http://www.bliss.army.mil/services/eo/eor.htm
CASE 1: The Office Help
Recently, two female soldiers were assigned to your unit. Both of the female soldiers are highly qualified
vehicle mechanics. At the time the female soldiers arrived, the unit was short two administrative
assistants. Two male soldiers, who happened to be well-qualified in word processing and office skills,
had been filling in until the new administrative assistants arrived. The men were not happy about this
situation.
You find out that neither of the female soldiers has been trained in office duties. You decide to send the
two men back to the motor pool and assign the women to the administrative assistant jobs. You feel that
the women would be happier in an office environment.
CASE 2: The Dumb Blonde
A staff meeting is about to begin. The manager has not yet arrived. Most of the staff are male, except for
two relatively new female hires. While waiting for the manager to appear and begin the meeting, one of
the older employees entertains the group with “dumb blonde” jokes. The two women are uncomfortable
with the display, but say nothing. The males laugh and seem to enjoy the jokes.
Additional Questions: Has the senior employee made the same impression with all of his coworkers?
Has he treated, or has he implied, that he sees them all as equally deserving of respect? Has the senior
contributed to, or detracted from, the organizational climate?
CASE 3: The Name Callers
A black male manager was in the hallway outside his work area when he heard a remark that made him
furious. A female employee who worked in an adjoining area was sounding off about blacks. As he
listened, he heard the woman making fun of the term “African-American.” The woman also claimed that
the department had just lost some customers because the new manager was black. The male manager lost
his temper when he heard the woman use the term “nigger.” As he entered the area, the manager grabbed
the woman by the shoulders and said, “You bitch! You’re lucky to be in this department. “Whores” like
you don’t belong in this organization!” The woman broke away and ran immediately to her supervisor to
report her experience as “sexual harassment.”
CASE 4: Words of Endearment
A female air traffic controller alleged that a pilot referred to her by an inappropriate term of endearment
during a conversation over the air waves. The pilot’s supervisor reviewed the tape and found that the
pilot had indeed referred to the air traffic controller as “Honey.”
Additional Questions: Was this pilot being professional? Does using an informal means of address
recognize the professional achievement of the subordinate? Would the pilot feel his authority diminished
if his commands were acknowledged, “Sure, doll?”
IM 5-17
Additional Resources
Print
50 activities for developing emotional intelligence. (2010). Carlsbad, CA: CRM Learning.
Designed to accompany CRM Learning’s videos about Emotional Intelligence. Provides a wealth
of learning activities.
Acuff, F. (1993). How to negotiate anything with anyone anywhere around the world. New York:
AMACOM.
The author includes general information on negotiations and typical American styles as well as
differences in and common problems associated with global negotiations. Seven of 14 chapters
analyze specific world regions, and within each region the author discusses requisite
considerations for negotiating in specific countries.
Bradberry, T., & Greaves, J. (2002). The emotional intelligence quickbook. San Diego: TalentSmart Inc.
This manual provides a concise and usable overview of emotional intelligence and how to
develop emotional intelligence in work teams. After you purchase the manual, you can participate
in online appraisals. Available at http://www.talentsmart.com
Donaldson, M. C., & Donaldson, M. (1996). Negotiating for dummies. Foster City, CA: IDG Books
Worldwide, Inc.
Sections in this book that relate to Chapter 5 include preparation for negotiating, goals, emotions,
nonverbal communication, and listening. The authors also provide sections recommending other
books, Internet resources, and videos.
Edelman, J., & Crain, M. B. (1993). The Tao of negotiation: How you can prevent, resolve and transcend
conflict in work and everyday life. New York: Harper Business.
This book addresses issues such as the nature of conflict, being understood, negative emotions,
love, divorce, partnerships, meetings, and conflict in the marketplace. Through all of it, the
emphasis is on using negotiation to bring about harmony and to address the most common causes
of conflict: misunderstanding, disrespect/disregard for others, conflicting egos, impatience, and
fear and insecurity over perceived “loss of control.”
Elgin, S. H. (1995). BusinessSpeak: Using the gentle art of verbal persuasion to get what you want at
work. New York: McGraw-Hill.
In this book, Elgin (who has written several books on verbal self-defense) covers powerful words,
active listening, and body language, in addition to the Four R’s: reduce tension, reduce hostility,
reduce stress on short-term memory, and reduce loss of face. Includes three-part messages,
“When you. . . I feel. . . because. . .,” as well as before-and-after scenarios showing how to make
complaints and criticism effective.
Fellers, J. W. (1996, September/October). People skills: Using the cooperative learning model to teach
students “people skills.” Interfaces, 26(5), 42-49.
A discussion of using the cooperative learning model to help students acquire skills in
interpersonal communication, group dynamics, and leadership. Although it is written for
instructors of other (than communication) content courses, it is an insightful look at preparing
students for the communication skills they need in the workplace.
Gibb, J. R. (1961, September). Defensive communication. The Journal of Communication, 11, 141–148.
This classic article provides the background and unpinning for much that has been written on the
subject in the last 30 years. Students can enjoy an original.
Hacala, S. (2011). Saving civility: 52 ways to tame rude, crude, and attitude for a polite planet. Skylight
Paths Publishing.
Contains usable tips from a certified etiquette and protocol consultant.
Kottler, J. (1994). Taking responsibility without blaming. In Beyond blame: A new way of resolving
conflicts in relationships. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Encourages students to use their communication skills rather than blaming others or making
excuses.
Peters, T. (1994). The pursuit of WOW! Every person’s guide to topsy-turvy times. New York: Vintage.
The 210 numbered sections range from a sentence to a chapter in length; all are an easy read.
Peters emphasizes the importance of interpersonal contact and valuing individuals. He argues for
giving praise and recognition to employees and customers.
Schoenfield, M. K., & Schoenfield, R. M. (1991). The McGraw-Hill 36-hour negotiating course. New
York: McGraw-Hill.
Adopting a win-win approach, this self-paced, self-study course goes through the basics of
negotiating, focusing on goals, tactics (with cases to illustrate), legal considerations, language,
planning, and pre-negotiation stages. There is a self-test at the end of each chapter.
DVD
Attitude Virus: Curing Negativity in the Workplace, Workforce Version. 20 min. CRM Learning.
Shows employees how to detect unproductive attitudes (such as the “steamer,” the “perfectionist”
and the “not–my–jobber”) and counteract them with positive behavior.
Career Help: Civility in the workplace. (2011). 5 min. YouTube video available at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgYBEFF93kc&feature=related
Three mistakes recent grads make on the job.
Conflict? You Solve It. (2005). 18 min. Insight Media
Assertiveness techniques for typical situations such as responding to someone else’s anger and
managing conflict.
Criticism: Giving and Taking. 21 min. Kantola Productions.
Addresses skills required to decide give and take critique professionally.
Emotional Intelligence. 25 min. CRM Learning.
Displays actual workplaces that are teaching emotional intelligence skills to their employees to
create more productive relationships.
Emotional Intelligence: Manufacturing Version. (25 min) CRM Learning.
Teaches the five key EI competencies (self-awareness; self-regulation; self-motivation; empathy;
effective relationships). Shows how EI can be combined with technical capabilities to increase
job effectiveness. Based on actual workplace trainings at Nichols Aluminum and other
companies.
The Emotional Intelligence Series. CRM Learning.
This set features three videos: Understanding Emotional Intelligence [hosted by Daniel Goleman]
(12 minutes); Demonstrating Emotional Intelligence (18 minutes); and Emotional Intelligence
and Optimal Performance (15 minutes).
Learn It, Earn It: Respect in Conflict. (2005) 20 min. Insight Media.
Respecting interests, cultures, and personal tastes of others.
Manners at Work. (2006) 18 min. Learning Seed Video.
Aegis Award Winner. Answers questions about etiquette in the workplace and explains how good
manners contribute to career success.
Negotiation and Mediation. (2003) 66 min. Insight Media.
A five-step conflict resolution process, showing role plays and a workshop with students, parents,
and school staff.
Negotiation: Myths, Misperceptions, and Damned Lies. (2011) 54 min. Insight Media.
Stanford professor Margaret Neale outlines the process of negotiation and discusses the role of
power and mutual influence.
Preventing Workplace Bullying. 17 min, plus Manager’s Module. CRM Learning.
Uses vignettes to define bullying and suggest ways to prevent and manage it in the workplace.
Respectful Communicator: The Part You Play. CRM Learning.
Strategies for building workplace morale through communication; techniques for communicating
clearly despite disagreements, without demeaning, devaluing, or offending others.
Skills, Techniques, and Strategies for Effective Negotiations. (2006) 46 min. Insight Media.
Techniques for negotiation business deals, including gaining credibility
Winners (Don’t) Take All: Creating and Claiming Value in Negotiation. (2002) 52 min Insight Media.
How to create and claim value in organizational and interpersonal disputes.
Working With You Is Killing Me. 23 min. CRM Learning.
Learn to deal with difficult co-workers and reduce stress-related issues that may arise from
workplace relationships.
Yelling, Threatening, and Putting Down: What To Do Instead. (2000) 35 min. Learning Seed Video.
Telly Award Winner. Explains why parents have a tendency to try to control their children by
yelling, threatening, or putting them down, even though these tactics do not work. Teaches
alternative approaches to managing anger and discipline.
Web
Calgary Cambridge http://www.gp-training.net/training/communication_skills/calgary/index.htm
Introduces communication skills for medical professionals.
Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations
http://www.eiconsortium.org
Provides up-to–date research and information about emotional intelligence in the workplace.
Dr. Nadig http://www.drnadig.com/feelings.htm
IM 5-20
Includes advice for expressing emotion during conflict and links to additional conflict
management resources.
Emotional Intelligence Services http://www.haygroup.com/TL/
Provides a self-quiz, analysis, Dr. Goleman’s answers to frequently asked questions, and
additional links to information about emotional intelligence. You can even submit your own
questions and receive answers.
Emotional Quotient International http://eqi.org/eitoc.htm
EQI is a group of volunteers from several continents who are interested in promoting emotional
intelligence as a key to improving society. The site includes a detailed outline for teaching
students about emotional intelligence and a wealth of links to useful resources.
General Practitioner
http://www.gp-training.net/training/leadership/emotional_intelligence/index.htm
Applies emotional intelligence to the medical profession.
The Military Supervisor
http://www.airpower.maxwell.af.mil/airchronicles/aureview/1985/may-jun/beck.html
This article explains how military officers can incorporate advice from Gibb’s Supportive
Communication Climate theory.
Mt. San Jacinto College http://www.aligningaction.com/climate.htm
The Communication Department at MSJC has set up a website with pages of interest about
several communication issues, including suggestions for transforming defensive climates to
supportive climates.
Setting Careers.Com
http://settingcareer.com/career-advancements/have-you-tried-to–get-rid-of-your-bad-habits-for-career-
advancement-success/
This article highlights positive work habits that will increase chances of being promoted.
TalentSmart Inc. http://www.talentsmart.com/learn
This site displays several articles about emotional intelligence that you can download for free.
For example, the article “Emotional Intelligence Issues and Common Misunderstandings”
provides a readable overview. You can also subscribe to a free monthly one-page newsletter that
provides tips on developing emotional intelligence.
Let’s Talk Training Group http://www.lets-talk.org/survey.htm
Assess your own conflict style using the free online survey. After you complete the survey, the
site provides suggestions tailored to your responses.
Understanding and Managing Workplace Conflict
http://uncw.edu/results.html?cx=002044598884227321031%3An6s3wx0uhow&cof=FORID%3
A10&ie=UTF-8&q=conflict
This PowerPoint by McGraw-Hill summarizes aspects of workplace conflict and
approaches for resolving such conflicts.
Utne Magazine http://www.utne.com/interact/test_iq.html
You can take a free E-IQ test and analyze your results at this site.