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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
Chapter 7
Analyzing Conflicts
Activities and Discussion Questions
A Brief Systems Analysis (Application 7.1 in the chapter)
Ask students to respond to Application 7.1 in the chapter prior to class. Then, ask them to bring
their write-ups about the group to class. Request your students to think about the questions ahead
of time, even though a written response to them will not be required.
In class, review the systems theory principles and practices, and ask the students to identify how
each principle comes into play in their own groups or systems. Use the experiences and expertise
of the students to help articulate the ways in which the theoretical principles that underlie
systems theory are present in their experiences.
You may choose to have a full class discussion on each of the six principles on systems theory,
or you could divide the class into six groups of students, and have the six groups of students
relate their assigned principle to their personal systems, and then, have them report back to the
class how their principle is lived in practice.
Coalitions
Have students draw a diagram of their family, workplace, or a school group. After reviewing the
principles of coalition formation, ask the students to work in groups of three to four members
each to discuss their diagrams in relation to the six principles of systems theory.
Discussion Questions
1. What are your patterns?
2. Are you the communicator?
3. What are the downsides of being attached to your older sister? Or being the mom? Or
being “caught in the middle”? Or being the “isolate”?
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
An additional activity for coalitions would be to analyze the sample conversation on the next
page, called the “After the Party Fight!” Finally, the dialogue could be used to analyze many
concepts throughout the chapter (power, destructive moves, name calling, TRIP, systems, styles,
forgiveness—just about anything really!).
Sample Conversation
“After the Party Fight!”
Dan: That was a blast!
Sarah: (stony silence)
Dan: (raising his voice) I said that was a great party!
Sarah: I bet you had a good time. I’m sure the 17 women you danced with had a great time, too.
Dan: Oh, I get it. You’re pouting. Is that it—you’re pouting, aren’t you? Well, at least you’re
consistent since that’s what you were doing all night anyway.
Sarah: I had to do something while you were making a complete fool of yourself!
Dan: Look who’s talking. You’re such a loser at parties, no wonder no one wants to dance with
you.
Sarah: I’m not a loser. I’ve told you a thousand times that parties like that aren’t for people like
me, but you never listen. I don’t like parties because you drink too much, and I can’t stand your
friends either. When you’re with them, you make me totally miserable.
fantasy baseball all summer or hunting every weekend in the fall.
Dan: You know why I hunt all the time? Because the animals are more fun than you are. And
they don’t go looking for fights for no good reason.
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Sarah: This isn’t a fight. It’s a discussion. And I hardly went looking for it.
Dan: Yeah, good one. And I bet you didn’t pick out the $500 worth of clothes you’ve been
hiding in the closet for the last week either?
Sarah: Whatever. Let’s just drop it. You’re drunk. I should know better than to deal with you
when you’re like this.
Dan: Now you want to drop it. You’ve been at me since we got in the car. You brought it up—
let’s talk about it. How, exactly, do you think we’re going to pay for your little shopping spree.
We haven’t paid for the last one yet. Obviously, I’m not going to get any help from you since
you’re the “struggling student” with no job.
Sarah: How did you know about those clothes anyway? Besides, I was going to take them back
on Monday.
Dan: Christine told me.
Using Conflict Assessment Tools
Divide the class into six groups, and have the groups be prepared to summarize the key ideas of
each of the following sections of the chapter:
• Systems theory
• Complex conflict patterns
• Coalitions
• Conflict triangles
• Microevents
• Wilmot-Hocker conflict assessment guide
Give students about 15 minutes to figure out how to explain the key ideas in their section to the
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
Following the groups’ reports, distribute one of the three cases given below to each of the
groups. Each group should use the tool or approach on which they just reported to assess the case
study. Let the students know that they will be expected to explain the case study and their
• Which of the patterns seems to be the easiest to you? Why?
• Which of the patterns seem to be the most difficult to explore and express? Why?
• What are some of the reasons for using multiple assessments in a conflict?
• How does the process of assessing conflict in these ways reduce the bias of interpretation?
• How might assessing your own conflicts in these ways be different from assessing
Note to the instructors: The following cases may also be used effectively in the chapter on third–
party intervention (Chapter 9). You may find it useful to withhold telling the students the
outcomes of each of the cases until you have discussed them in terms of the approaches to
management or resolution later in the term.
Case 1: Family Problems
by (a couple of years), Delores’ older sister Jane took several large pieces of furniture from her
parent’s home and gave them to her children. The younger brother, Ernie wanted to make other
investments that would require the sale of the parent’s property. He also wanted to make sure
that part of his parent’s estate would be available to pass on to his children.
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
Other Relevant Information
• Delores has never married anyone, and she has no children.
• The siblings have another sister, Penny, who was killed in a car accident many years ago.
At the time of her death, Penny had an estranged spouse and four children.
• Jane’s reasoning abilities are hampered by a brain injury that she had incurred when she
was in her late teens.
• Ernie and Jane have not agreed on much of anything since Ernie married someone whom
Jane does not approve of.
• Ernie and Jane had a further falling out when Jane said that Ernie’s wife would not be able
to participate in their father’s funeral and that Ernie’s daughter had told him about Jane’s
comment.
• Delores, Ernie, and Jane have all agreed in principle that at least Penny’s children should
be included in the distribution of property, when and if it should occur.
Questions
1. What are the features of the conflict that are most important given your group’s assigned
conflict assessment tool?
2. How would you characterize the conflict from your group’s assigned conflict assessment
tool?
3. What additional information would you need to make a more complete assessment of this
conflict from your group’s assigned conflict assessment tool?
Case 2: Child Custody Dispute
Tracy and John had been married eight years and had two children together, Sarah, age six, and
Matt, age four. Tracy was attending law school in Tacoma, and both the children were enrolled
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
Other Relevant Information
• During the marriage, Tracy was the primary childcare provider.
• Tracy says that John was so busy with his work that he did not pay much attention to the
children and their needs.
• The children are confused by the break up of their family.
• John does not want the children to be exposed to their mother’s lesbian relationship. He
believes that it is a passing phase, and although he and Tracy are not likely to reunite, the
relationship between Tracy and Katie will not last.
• Although she does not speak highly of John to other adults, she is not willing to disparage
him in front of the children. She believes that the children should have continued contact
with him because he is their father.
• Sarah and Matt have not expressed a preference of parent to their childcare providers, and
they seem to be handling their parents’ break up as well as one could expect.
Questions
1. What are the features of the conflict that are the most important given your group’s
assigned conflict assessment tool?
2. How would you characterize the conflict from your group’s assigned perspective?
3. What additional information would you need to make a more complete assessment of this
conflict from the group’s assigned perspective?
Case 3: Fraternity Rivalry
The rivalry between two campus fraternities has shifted from “friendly” to malicious. The houses
are located next door to one another, and several physical fights have been reported between the
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Activities and Discussion Questions
water damaged. Members of XXX have been charged with violations of the students’ code of
conduct, and formal charges of theft may be filed by members of YYY’s alumni.
Other Relevant Information
• Members of the XXX fraternity are considered to be the “bad boys” of the Greek system—
the local “Animal House.”
• Members of the YYY fraternity are perceived to be the righteous, principled members of
the system.
• Several members of the YYY fraternity are in prominent positions, such as student body
president, editor-in-chief of the school paper, and president of the Inter-Fraternity Council
(IFC); they also hold several senate seats on the student council.
• XXX is under the watchful eye of the university administration and is often used as an
example by the university’s administration for the reduction of the Greek system on
campus.
• YYY has been working with the university’s administration to preserve and strengthen the
Greek system on campus, but it feels as if they are making little headway.
• YYY had a large rush this year.
• XXX had a small rush this year and is at risk of losing their fraternity house because of
insufficient numbers of occupants.
Questions
1. What are the features of the conflict that are the most important given your group’s
assigned conflict assessment tool?
2. How would you characterize the conflict from your group’s assigned perspective?
3. What additional information would you need to make a more complete assessment of this
conflict from the group’s assigned perspective?
The Actual Outcomes of the Case Studies
Case 1 has not gone to mediation or litigation. No overt action has taken place, and there is no
resolution even after fifteen years. Jane has since died, and her husband has remarried. Delores’
Activities and Discussion Questions
Case 2 went to litigation. Tracy and John have joint custody of the children. Tracy and Katie are
still together after five years. The children love Katie as they do their father and mother. Tracy is
not happy with the way John raises their children when they are with him. He dates often, and
their children are left out of his life. She also does not agree with his parenting style, particularly
with regard to his manners and discipline toward them. Tracy and Katie are considering
returning to court to petition for full custody of the children in which John will only have
visitation rights.
Case 3 went to mediated dispute. The parties agreed to mediation as well as formal university
procedures. Members of each fraternity meet weekly with a mediator, following individual visits
to the houses by the mediator. A sense of cooperation and collaboration emerged, and some
members of the “offending” house came clean about their role in the process and offered their
personal apologies to the members of the other house. Focusing on the overall goal of positive
fraternity relationships and a good standing on campus, the “good guys” offered to help the
“party animals” develop their rush. They also agreed to coordinate the joint events between the