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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
Chapter 4
Power: The Structure of Conflict
Activities and Discussion Questions
Note to instructors: The following set of activities can be used either individually or in a series to
develop the students’ understanding of the role of power in conflicts.
Perceptions of Power
2. Go around the room and ask the students to share their responses. Make a list of all the
responses on the board for the whole class to see.
3. Continue the class discussion by identifying the themes of power among the students.
a. Are your perceptions of power positive or negative?
b. What influences do these perceptions have on your approach to conflicts? Your
style? Your ability to communicate effectively?
4. Classify the “sources” of power, using Wilmot and Hocker’s RICE framework.
a. Resource control
b. Interpersonal linkages
c. Communication skills
d. Expertise
5. Conclude the discussion by constructing some positive views on conflict.
Power and Gender
interesting concept? Do they think that the chapter accurately reflects their
experience with regard to their gender?
b. Ask the groups to describe how they learned about power and their currencies as they
were growing up? How did the boys learn about power while growing up (games,
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
competition, authority, etc.)? How did the girls learn about power while growing up
(emotions, less focus on competition, more on cooperation, etc.)?
c. Ask the groups to identify the power currencies of their gender and the power
currencies of the opposite gender?
2. Reconvene the class as one group, and ask them the questions given below.
a. Take the time to discuss the similarities and differences among each of your
perspectives. What are their findings?
b. Discuss the influence of your gender on your perspective of power in conflicts. How
has your upbringing influenced your perceptions of power in general and of your
own power in particular?
e. Do you feel powerful or powerless in regard to your gender?
3. Divide the class into mixed-gender groups of five to six students each. Ask each group to
answer the questions given below.
a. How would you identify the power resources available to you (using RICE)?
b. Is there a balance in your repertoire?
c. How do your power resources differ from one relationship to another (i.e. friends,
family, work, other)?
4. Identify some specific strategies to increase your power currencies.
a. Do you want more power?
b. What are some of the ethical considerations that you might have to take as you
develop your own power?
Low Power Tactics: Destructive and Productive
1. Warm-up (optional): Ask students to recall or write about a conflict where they felt like
they were in a low-power position. Discuss what they did and how they felt about the
conflict.
b. You can also challenge the students to see if the groups can come up with their own
“dirtiest or worst” list.
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
3. Ask the groups to share their responses. Look for themes among the groups.
4. Discuss the effectiveness of using strategies.
a. What are the effects of these strategies on a conflict?
b. What are the effects of these strategies on the individuals involved in a conflict and
their relationship?
c. Did these strategies work? Did you get what you need?
6. Ask the students to predict all the possible outcomes of using the handout.
7. Ask the students to identify at least three ways of changing their future behavior on power
in conflicts. (i.e., What could you try that’s different?)
8. Identify ways to increase the students’ power currencies.
Productive Low Power Tactics
William Wilmot
• Validate the other’s worth
• Direct involvement of the other person
• Use “I” statements
• Acknowledge the other’s expertise and contributions
• Involve and share ownership with the other person
• Recognize the other person feels powerless too
• Expose why and how I feel powerless and what effect that has on me
• Ask what the other perceives my power is over him or her
• Try to shift the balance of power
• Build up the person
• Use the same currency the other is using
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
• Take a look at my power—see how I understand it
• Let them know my weaknesses
• Ally with power, a trusted person
• Gain more information
• Graduate, announce escalation
• Documentation: keep track of what is being done
• Be optimistic, and learn that there may be options
Balancing Power
1. Ask students to review the section in the text regarding power imbalances.
2. Have the students write about or discuss their real-life situations where power was
unequally distributed among the people in a conflict. (These real-life situations can be from
their own experiences or from those of other people they know.)
3. Using the guidelines discussed in the chapter, have the students generate a list of ways to
balance the power in conflict situations.
a. A special note to the instructor: If the students discuss balancing the power in an
abusive relationship, then you could recommend the low-power party to be protected
before engaging in a power-balancing act. (For example, someone who is being hit in
a relationship may need to have a third party present—personal or professional).
b. Possibilities (Add these to the list that the class generates.)
i. Don’t use your power just because you can.
ii. Don’t use all the power that you have.
c. You can guide this discussion using the tactics that Wilmot and Hocker suggest be
implemented during a conflict:
i. Restraint
ii. Focus on interdependence
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
iii. Calm persistence
iv. Active engagement
v. Empowerment of low-power people by high-power people
vi. Metacommunication
Sample Dialogue: Scenario
Background
Steve and Mia have been married for 10 years and have two children. Before they had kids, both
Steve and Mia worked full time. Now they have a five-year-old daughter and a two-year-old son.
Steve works part-time, to help take care of the kids, and Mia’s salary is high enough for them to
manage. The following conversations are just examples of the many they’ve had about money.
Power Isn’t Always Pretty
Conversation Number 1 (At a party, in front of their friends)
Mia: We had the best vacation in Mexico. That’s the most relaxed I’ve been in a long time.
Steve: Are you kidding me? You were so worried about spending too much money. I can’t
believe that you just said that.
Mia: I wasn’t worrying about money; I just didn’t want you to overdo it. It’s not like we have
tons of cash just lying around.
Steve: I just wish you were willing to spend more money when we’re on vacation. That’s when
you’re supposed to have fun! I didn’t want to worry about the cost of every little thing.
Mia: Well, you don’t have to worry about it; I’m the one who pays the bills.
Steve: $5,000 is not that much to spend on a vacation.
Mia: Easy for you to say. It would take you a year to save up that much money, and you’re
willing to blow it in a week.
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
Steve: That’s not true. I work plenty. Besides, I thought you wanted me to be around more with
the kids. I can’t make a ton of money and do that, too.
Mia: I wish you’d check with me before you buy that much stuff. Our cash flow is kind of low
right now.
Steve: It’s not that much. Besides, you’re getting that extra check this week. I figured that would
cover it.
Mia: Well, we should have at least discussed it. These are the kind of decisions that we should
make together.
Steve: You mean I need to get your permission before I do anything. I feel like I’m asking for an
allowance or something. I should be able to make financial decisions on my own.
Mia: You can, but we at least need to talk about it beforehand. Instead, you buy a bunch of stuff
and you don’t even see if we have enough in our checking account.
Steve: Well, I can’t stand not having any say over how the money gets spent. Just because you
make more than I do doesn’t mean that I don’t get to decide once in a while.
Mia: And I don’t like having all the pressure to make all that money. It’s not like it’s the greatest
job in the world. I wouldn’t keep it except we (mostly you) spend too much, so I stay.
Steve: I could start working more.
Mia: No, we’re not doing that.
Steve: You can’t have it both ways?
Mia: What both ways? All I am is a paycheck to you, and you’re just the person who spends it.
Journaling Ideas
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
1. Write about how you feel about “power.” Talk about the times that you’ve used your
power and when those around you have used theirs. How did you feel in each situation?
3. Think of a time when you felt that you had “low power” in a conflict. How did you
respond? What advice from the chapter might have helped you in dealing with the conflict?
Conversely, think of a time when you felt that you had “high power” in a conflict. How did
this influence your interaction with the other person? What advice, if any, could you use
from the text the next time you are in a “high power” situation?
