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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
Chapter 2
Perspectives on Conflict
Activities and Discussion Questions
Conflict Metaphors: Creating Solutions
Note: This exercise could be used as a follow-up to the activity from Chapter 1 titled, “What is
Conflict Anyway?”
1. Ask students to write a description or draw a representation of their metaphors for conflict.
(You can use the metaphors from Chapter 2, or you can use new metaphors.) Provide the
students with the following examples of metaphors for conflicts:
a. An airplane flying toward the ground
2. Ask students to share their list of metaphors with the rest of the class, and have them
discuss the various categories identified in Chapter 2. Assess how many of the students’
responses can be classified under the following categories:
a. Conflict is warlike and violent.
b. Conflict is bullying.
c. Conflict is explosive.
d. Conflict is a trial.
e. Conflict is a wild act of nature.
f. Conflict is animal behavior.
g. Conflict is a mess.
h. Conflict is a communication breakdown.
i. Conflict is a game.
j. Conflict is a heroic adventure.
3. Next round: Use the students’ metaphors to generate practical solutions for them when they
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
are in conflicts. For example, if students think that conflict is like flying an airplane into
the ground, then what do they need to do? A response to such a situation would be to
“jump out of the plane” or “call for help.” Transpose the responses into real-life behaviors.
In this example, it is possible for the person to exit his or her relationship with the
conflicting party or he or she just needs to take a two-day break from the conflicting party.
Another way to phrase this is as follows: “What are the options inside the metaphor?”
Conflict: Life Learning Inventory
“None of the ideas and formats in this book are more important than your own coming-to-terms
with your life learnings [about conflict]—which to keep, which to challenge, which to change,
and which to discard because they no longer fit your needs.”
-Joyce L. Hocker and William W. Wilmot
Take a few moments and write down your responses to the following questions. In a few minutes
you will be discussing your responses with another person. You may choose the precise
information that you wish to share with the other person and the depth/extent of the
conflict that you wish to disclose. You may choose to include or omit whatever you like. Be
prepared to discuss your responses with your partner.
1. Which of the conflict metaphors and/or terms for conflict generated in today’s session are
the most prominent in your own approach to managing conflict? Explain.
2. What impressions of conflict do you recall from your childhood?
a. What were the norms for conflict with the adults in your life?
d. What did you learn from what you experienced?
3. As an adult, what kind of conflict situations are you most comfortable in?
5. Recall a recent conflict in which you were a participant. As you became aware of the
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
conflict, did it become more intense for you to manage it, or did it otherwise play itself
out? What was your primary response? How did you feel?
6. Consider a second, significantly different, yet recent conflict, and answer the questions
listed in question five.
Conflict Is Like . . . *
Note to instructors: This activity is similar to the Metaphor activity, but it also differs from that
activity because it asks students to express their perceptions of conflict, either verbally or
visually. As the instructor, you can use either one or both the activities, depending on the
learning styles of your class.
1. Ask each student in the class to generate a list of at least five different responses to the
following statement: “In my experience, conflict is/is like . . .”
2. Then, divide the students into groups of five members each. Ask the students to share as
many of the images, metaphors, etc. on their list that they are comfortable sharing with
their group members. Next, have the students discuss the similarities and differences in
their responses. Later, ask the groups to choose or create an image that they can all agree is
consistent with their members’ perceptions of conflict.
3. Large class discussion: Ask the students to share their images with their group members.
Then, have them discuss the following questions:
a. What do these images have in common?
b. What are the differences in the images?
c. What may account for the similarities and differences among these images?
d. How many participants are portrayed in the images and descriptions?
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
4. Conclude with a discussion about the paradox of danger and the opportunity of conflict.
We tend to focus on the danger, but what are the opportunities inherent in conflict
situations? What do we need to do in order to take advantage of those opportunities, rather
than squander them?
How Do You Perceive Your Conflicts?
Ask students to think of a recent conflict that they have experienced. Then, ask them to answer
the following questions:
1. What are your and your conflict partner’s communicative acts (behaviors) during the
conflict?
2. How would you describe your view of yourself and your conflict partner during the
conflict?
• Past events in your relationship
• Current events in your relationship
• Future projections of your relationship
The Lens Model
1. Ask groups of students to draw a diagram of the Lens Model.
2. Ask students to identify the characteristics that affect their “lenses,” such as the following
given below:
a. Family (as a parent, child, sibling, spouse, etc.)
b. Political party
c. Country
d. Culture
• Compare the Western culture with other cultures in which the following are
e. Gender
f. Age
g. Socioeconomic status
h. Education
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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 10e
i. Experience
j. Others
3. Conclude with a discussion about how the Lens Model can help students to manage their
conflicts. Then, ask them the following questions:
a. What did you learn?
b. What might you like to do differently?
c. What do you do when you are engaged in a conflict with someone who has entirely
different “lenses” than you do?
Journaling Ideas
2. Write about a time when someone else’s intention (i.e., “I didn’t mean to hurt your
feelings.”) didn’t match the impact it had on you (you were extremely hurt). What accounts
for these differences? How can you effectively manage these differences?
3. Listen to some songs or pay attention to the messages in movies for metaphors about
conflict. Write down these messages for a small period of time (a week or possibly two
weeks). Finally, discuss your opinion of how these messages influence your views on
conflict and/or others’ views on conflict.
