Revise the following poorly written opening of a claim letter requesting an exchange of
a smartphone still under warranty. Write the opening sentence only.
My TravelerXtra smartphone was purchased from your online store on September 15,
2014, for your attractive price of $228.88 plus $24.48 shipping and handling with no
service contract required. I have used my TravelerXtra for business texting, emailing,
and phoning ever since, which was exactly what I needed it to do. Yesterday my
TravelerXtra shut itself down out of the blue, and I can’t use it for anything. Now I’m
without a business tool and over $250, which makes me feel ripped off because I
received only one month of service from this phone. When I tried to exchange it at one
of your landbased stores, the clerk told me, “No way, dude. You buy online, you fly
online.” Now what?
____________________, which occurs during the third phase of the writing process,
means improving the content and sentence structure of your message. It may include
adding, cutting, recasting, reformatting, and redesigning what you have written.