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Discussion Questions
Chapter 14: Healing the Hurt: Relationship Repair and Reconciliation
1. Think back to hurtful events that you have experienced in the past. Why did you forgive some people,
but not others? To you, are some events more forgivable than others? Why or why not?
2. Repairing a damaged relationship is never easy. In your own words and using the concepts in this
chapter, such as models of accommodation, remedial strategies, and forgiveness, how would you go
about repairing a hurt relationship? What strategies are not effective?
3. People tend to use remedial strategies such as complimenting their partner, trying to be more
attentive to their partner, or buying their partner gifts and flowers. They engage in these behaviors to
“compensate” for the hurtful behavior they may have inflicted on their partner. Do you find that these
remedial strategies have genuinely helped resolve relational conflicts in the past if you have experienced
them? Why or why not?
4. Social media is an integral part of many people’s interactions and relationships today. How do you
think that social media affects people’s core romantic relationships and how partners engage with one
another, especially when hurtful communication ensues? Does social media facilitate certain aspects of
reconciliation or forgiveness?
