Discussion Questions
Chapter 11: Coping With Conflict: When Relational Partners Disagree
1. Think about your long-term relationships. What types of disagreements do you have with these
relational partners? How did the disagreement affect the relationship? What positive effects did the
conflict have on the dynamics of the relationships? And the negative effects?
2. In what ways can any one of the six conflict styles promote a healthier relationship?
3. Consider the patterns of conflict interaction. What role does attribution play in resolving or avoiding
conflicts? What was an occasion where, if you had considered what “win-win” would have looked like,
the outcome would have made for a happier state of the relationship?
4. When people are in the midst of interpersonal conflict, they often are flooded with emotions. This
makes it difficult to “fight fairly.” When can effective listening escalate a conflict? When can effective
listening de-escalate a conflict? What suggestions do you have to make effective listening a constructive
strategy?
5. Consider Gottman’s four horsemen of the apocalypse. What communication behaviors could a
relationship utilize to make communication seem more authentic? For instance, what is the difference
between saying “sorry” and saying sorry because you were caught?