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the individualists might then conclude that the conflict has been “resolved,” even though
it hasn’t.
○ If you’re an individualist embroiled in a dispute with people from collectivistic cultures,
consider these three suggestions:
a. Maintain the face of everyone involved. Avoid humiliating or embarrassing
collectivists, especially in public.
b. Use indirect verbal messages more than you usually do. For example, sprinkle your
comments with “maybe” and “possibly,” and avoid blunt responses such as an outright
“no.”
CLASS DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Your textbook states that conflict begins with perception. In your own words, what
does this mean to you? How could understanding this one concept help you manage
potential conflicts? Give an example to support your argument.
• Give students an opportunity to discuss their examples in class, and help walk them
through this concept. You can begin the discussion with a simple example, such as how
2. Which of the four common approaches to conflict mentioned in your textbook do
you feel you use the most? Why? Which approach do you use the least? Why? Do
you agree with the book that there are times when all four are useful? Why or why
not?
3. Give an example of a time when someone you were in conflict with used his or her
power over you to influence the outcome of the conflict. What type of power did they
use? How did this make you feel? Did you feel this was an effective use of their
power? Did the conflict end in collaboration? How would you have suggested the
conflict could have been handled better?
4. What is the difference between integrative agreements and compromise? Give an
example of a conflict, and provide an example of how both could be used to end the
same conflict. Which method of resolving the conflict do you prefer? Why?
5. What is a sudden-death statement? Give two examples of something said during
conflict that would be considered a sudden-death statement.
• Ask students to discuss how they feel when others use a sudden-death statement toward
them. In these cases, are they usually willing to give them a second chance, or is the
VIDEO SCENARIOS
HOW TO COMMUNICATE: COLLABORATION IN A CONFLICT
This video feature shows students competent communication skills in action based on the
scenario following. The first video illustrates an ideal outcome, whereas the What if?
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1. Attack problems, not people, by being respectful and polite. Describe the problem
without assigning blame, and use “I” language.
2. Focus on common interests and goals. Use “we” language to emphasize shared
benefits.
3. Create options before arriving at decisions, making sure to suggest a range of
choices for solving the situation and not cling to any one option in particular.
You might say, “I could clean the kitchen and do the vacuuming if you take care of the
bathroom. Or you could clean the kitchen—whichever you want. What do you think?”
4. Critically evaluate your solution, making sure that others find it fair and equal.
You might say, “Would that work for you? Or is there something else we could do that’s
better?”
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When Tim agrees to split housework to keep the apartment clean, this is an example of
_______________.
A. Separation
B. Integrative agreement
C. Compromise*
D. Structural improvement
[The * indicates the right answer. Depending whether the student answers the question right or
wrong, one of these two feedback options should appear:
Right answer: Congratulations, you are correct!
WHAT IF?
1. How would you respond if Tim tries to avoid the conversation: “I think things are fine the
way they are, you’re just obsessed with neatness?”
You might say, “You are right, I do seem to be a little more concerned about keeping the
apartment clean, but would you be willing to meet me in the middle? If we could work
2. What if Tim doesn’t want to collaborate and says, “I’ll take care of my room, and you can
do everything else. You’re better at cleaning than I am anyways, and I really don’t care.”
You might say, “I don’t mind doing a little extra cleaning, but I think to be fair we need to
approach the cleaning as a team. I know you like having guests over and want it to be
presentable. Isn’t there a way we can make this happen?”
• Try reminding Tim of how keeping the apartment clean can benefit him and that you
CLASSROOM ACTIVITIES
1. Happily Ever After
Goal: To help students understand that conflict is a natural process and to reinforce
teamwork skills
Time: 60 minutes
2. Ask the groups to brainstorm a list of their favorite movies that ended with the
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3. Once the groups have created their lists, ask them to select one movie and rewrite the
4. Have each group act out their scene.
6. Give students an opportunity to discuss why they think the original movies’ endings
were unrealistic.
2. Conflict Brainstorming
Goal: To help students understand their own views of conflict and expose them to the
positive or constructive side of conflict
Time: 20 minutes
2. On a board or flip chart, draw two columns. Label one “positive” and the other one
“negative.”
4. Once the lists in both columns are complete, ask students to review how many
positive and negative words are on the list.
3. Lottery Winners Group Activity
Goal: To explore the dynamics of ending conflict
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Time: 60 minutes
1. Divide the class into three groups.
2. Assign each group the following as their primary goal:
3. Explain to the class that they have just been informed that they have won $50,000.00
4. Once the groups have finished, bring them back together. Explain that they must
5. Have the class determine which approach to ending conflict they selected. How
satisfied were they with their decisions?
4. Building Blocks or Stumbling Blocks?
Goal: To help students work through conflict and understand how perception influences
conflict
Time: 30 minutes
1. This exercise requires a large set of Lego bricks or similar building blocks. You will
2. Make two sets of agenda cards with the following (change the colors listed following
as needed to correspond to your actual blocks):
a. Your agenda is to make sure there are five red bricks touching horizontally.
b. Your agenda is to make sure there are four white bricks touching horizontally.
c. Your agenda is to make sure there are no black bricks in the top row.
d. Your agenda is to make sure there are no red bricks on the ends.
3. Divide the class into two groups and give them the building blocks.
4. Give each member of each group one of the agenda cards. If the class is larger, you
5. Instruct the groups to use the building blocks to build a wall. Each member must be
mindful of his or her agenda during the building process.
7. Once the exercise is complete, have the groups discuss the difficulties they
encountered. Did they accomplish the goal of building a wall? Discuss how these
hidden agendas didn’t leave room for compromise, integrated agreement, or
structural improvements: and success was unlikely. Are there issues in our own lives
that have become stumbling blocks instead of building blocks?
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MEDIA RESOURCES
1. Lauren Mackler at Harvard Business School—“Managing Conflict”
This 5-minute video by executive coach and psychotherapist Lauren Mackler is a concise
discussion about how to manage conflict. She includes suggestions on avoiding
2. “The Art of Conflict Management: Achieving Solutions for Life, Work, and
Beyond”
This 30-minute lecture is an audio file by Dr. Michael Dues from The University of
Arizona; it is designed to help students understand and handle conflict. The first 3½ minutes
3. “Power—How Much We Need and How to Use It”
This 30-minute lecture is an audio file by Dr. Michael Dues from The University of
4. “What’s Your Conflict Style?”
5. “The Walk from ‘No’ to ‘Yes’”
