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Chapter 7
Active Listening
CHAPTER OUTCOMES
• Understand how the listening process works
• Explore why people use different listening styles
• Explain the barriers to active listening
• Learn ways to strengthen your active listening skills
CHAPTER OUTLINE
THE LISTENING PROCESS
Before you can strengthen your listening skills, it’s important to explore the foundation of
listening: how you listen, why you listen, and the potential pitfalls of multitasking when trying
to listen.
STAGES OF THE LISTENING PROCESS
• The process of listening involves six stages:
1. Hearing is physically processing the sound that others have produced and mentally
focusing your attention on it. It occurs when sound waves enter your inner ear, causing
your eardrum to vibrate. These vibrations travel along special nerves to your brain, which
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and not paying attention may result in you not being able to understand, remember,
interpret, evaluate, or respond.
○ To become an active listener, give people your undivided attention when they are
speaking.
▪ What forces negatively affect my listening?
▪ What do I naturally pay attention to?
▪ When do I need to focus harder to pay attention?
▪ Do I need to control external or internal factors to improve my attention?
▪ Am I overly stressed, hungry, ill, or fatigued?
▪ What time of the day is my best listening time?
3. Interpreting the full meaning of the message happens simultaneously with
understanding and is when you identify any implications (or connotative meanings)
4. Evaluating the message also occurs simultaneously with understanding and interpreting;
it is when you compare the newly received information against your past knowledge to
check its accuracy and validity.
○ Understanding, interpreting, and evaluating make up how you mentally process
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5. Remembering or recalling is the process of being able to call back into consciousness
the message; it is a crucial part of the listening process. When you can accurately recall
6. Responding is the outcome of listening and is when you communicate your attention and
comprehension to the speaker. Skillful listeners convey verbal and nonverbal feedback.
○ Positive feedback includes looking directly at the person who is speaking, smiling,
facing the speaker, leaning forward, and offering backchannel cues: verbal and
MOTIVES FOR LISTENING
• Listening functions are the different reasons for listening; they powerfully shape how you
choose to listen in specific situations. They are not mutually exclusive and can shift
suddenly from one to another as circumstances change. A key step in becoming an active
listener is learning how to be flexible and adapt your listening to the situation in which you
2. Provide support, by taking in what someone else says without evaluating it and openly
expressing empathy in response.
3. Analyze, by carefully evaluating and critiquing the messages you’re receiving.
MULTITASKING AND LISTENING
• Research asserts that people who multitask—even those who think they do it well—and
shift their attention back and forth between many different things at once, suffer a number
of negative outcomes. For example, students who habitually multitask have difficulty
focusing their attention on any single task for more than 5 minutes at a time and have lower
overall GPAs.
• Multitasking has a devastating effect on listening. Habitual multitaskers are poorer listeners
and are more likely to mishear messages or miss them completely. Multitasking can
dramatically impact listening because it disrupts all aspects of the listening process.
LISTENING STYLES
Everyone has preferred ways of listening. Do you like listening to long stories told by friends,
or do you urge them to “get to the point”? Do you ask for detailed instructions on how to
complete tasks at work, or do you just want a brief overview? Your preferred listening style
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FOUR LISTENING STYLES
• A listening style is a habitual pattern of listening behaviors, which reflects your attitudes,
beliefs, and predispositions about listening. It is learned early in life, from watching and
interacting with parents and caregivers, gender socialization, and cultural values regarding
what counts as skilled listening.
• There are four different listening styles:
1. People-oriented listeners view listening as an opportunity to establish bonds between
2. Content-oriented listeners prefer to be intellectually challenged by the messages they
3. Action-oriented listeners (task-oriented listeners) like focused and organized
4. Time-oriented listeners prefer brief encounters. They tend to let others know in advance
exactly how much time they have available for each conversation. Individuals using this
style are more likely to interrupt speakers and signal lack of interest through negative
feedback than people using other styles.
• To be an active listener, use all four styles and strategically deploy them as needed.
GENDER AND LISTENING STYLES
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• Research comparing male and female preferences suggests that men show a small preference
for action-oriented listening, whereas women show a strong preference for people-oriented
listening.
• Keep gender differences in mind during interpersonal interactions, group discussions, and
presentations. Observe the listening styles they display and adapt accordingly.
• Remember that these findings don’t always apply to everyone; do not automatically assume
that each gender will listen in certain ways. Instead, taking your cue from the actual person
you are talking with is most important.
CULTURE AND LISTENING STYLES
• Culture influences people’s preferred listening styles and their perceptions of styles.
• What’s considered competent listening in your culture may be perceived as incompetent by
others.
• When communicating with people from other cultures, adapt your listening style
accordingly.
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○ In collectivistic cultures, try to adopt a people-oriented listening style and provide
positive feedback while the person is speaking. Avoid hurrying and express interest in the
speaker’s feelings, opinions, and concerns, and emphasize points of commonality.
○ If you’re communicating with someone from an individualistic culture, be prepared to
BARRIERS TO ACTIVE LISTENING
Being a good listener isn’t easy—it’s hard work. Numerous challenges exist that can drive a
person away from active listening and toward incompetence. Three of the most potent, and
frequent, barriers are selective listening, pseudo-listening, and aggressive listening. Overcoming
these challenges is essential to improving your listening skills.
SELECTIVE LISTENING
• Selective listening is when you take in only bits and pieces of information presented by a
speaker and you dismiss the rest. When you selectively listen, you lose out on the
opportunity to learn information from others that may affect important personal or
professional outcomes.
PSEUDO-LISTENING
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• Pseudo-listening is the process of behaving as if you’re paying attention, although you’re
AGGRESSIVE LISTENING
• Aggressive listening, or ambushing, is when you listen to what others say solely to find an
opportunity to attack your conversational partners. People who consistently use listening to
ambush others typically think less favorably about themselves, experience lower marital
satisfaction, and may experience more physical violence in their relationships.
• Combat your own aggressive listening behaviors by discovering and dealing with the root
causes of the aggression with such as external pressures as job stress, relationship
IMPROVING YOUR ACTIVE LISTENING SKILLS
Although it sounds like a cliché, improving your active listening skills will improve your life. If
you’re a skilled listener, people will perceive you as a more competent communicator overall,
and you’ll benefit both professionally and personally as a result.
MANAGE YOUR FEEDBACK
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• Make people feel like you’re really listening to them through your attentiveness to the
speaker. When speaking or listening, look for nonverbal and verbal signs that your listeners
gentler feedback, such as sustained eye contact or nodding when listening.
○ Making your feedback immediate. Always provide feedback as soon as you can. If you
wait too long to provide the feedback, the speaker may not recognize the behaviors you
display as feedback or may even infer that you’re not listening.
ADAPT YOUR LISTENING
• Quickly adapt your listening styles and functions, depending on the speaker to whom you’re
listening and the demands of the situation. Consider differences when communicating, and
adapt your listening as needed. Communication encounters are always changing, and with
RECOGNIZE THE VALUE OF SILENCE
• Sometimes people just want someone to quietly listen so they can share their thoughts,
feelings, and emotions—a “sympathetic ear” or a “shoulder to cry on.” To facilitate this
process, do the following:
○ Maintain good eye contact, but avoid frequent use of more obvious forms of positive
feedback including comments like “I know what you mean,” which can feel intrusive.
○ Quietly allow the griever to vent.
senses, visuals, or features.
○ Developing an awareness of your primary listening functions in various situations.
○ Practicing shifting your listening style quickly, depending on the demands of the
encounter.
CLASS DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. List three situations in which you find it difficult to listen. Think about each
situation and identify what factors make listening hard for you. Based on your
reading, how could you improve your active listening in each situation?
• Discuss with students the importance of identifying when they have difficulty listening.
By identifying these areas, they can adjust their behaviors to aid in listening. A good
2. Think of a subject or word that triggers an emotional response, such as anger or
stress from you. Do you have trouble listening once this subject or word is
mentioned? Does selective listening play a role in your listening during these times?
Why or why not?
• Ask students to give an example of a trigger word or subject that makes them angry.
Consider providing a personal example of an emotional trigger to begin the discussion.
3. Of the four listening styles mentioned in your textbook, which two do you identify
with most? How do your preferred listening styles affect your performance in class
or your relationships with friends? How can understanding your preferred listening
styles help make you a better listener in these situations?
• Help students recognize which listening style or styles they tend to identify with and
4. Review the five listening functions in your textbook. Explain how each could be
important in a classroom setting. Give an example for each function.
• Begin by making sure students understand the five listening functions and how they
5. Can you tell when someone is pseudo-listening to you? How does it make you feel?
Discuss how important it is to a speaker when a listener is genuinely interested and
how being an active listener makes you an effective communicator. How much
responsibility does a listener have in effective communication?
• Discuss with students how damaging pseudo-listening is on our recall and relationships.
VIDEO SCENARIOS
HOW TO COMMUNICATE: ACTIVE LISTENING
This video feature shows students competent communication skills in action based on the
scenario following. The first video illustrates an ideal outcome, whereas the What if?
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challenges prompt them to apply their own skills to times when their communication partner is
more difficult. To access the videos, go to macmillanhighered.com/choicesconnections2e.
Assign students to watch the videos and answer the questions before class, and then they can
1. Adapt your listening function from analytical to supportive, and adopt a people-oriented
style that expresses empathy for your friend and his family.
You might say, “I am so sorry to hear this. My thoughts go out to you and your father.
How are you both holding up?”
2. Manage your feedback by making your attentiveness obvious. Put away your phone,
provide eye contact, and lean toward him.
3. Recognize the value of silence by not rushing to fill the conversational space with your
own talk (“My grandmother also had Alzheimer’s . . .”). Instead, let your friend speak as
he wishes.
Instructor Note: Online, students will be asked a multiple-choice question after the first
video. For Chapter 7, it is this:
Why is the suggestion, “how about if we set up another time to practice, and for now, we just
go grab something to eat,” an example of active listening?
A. It represents a time-oriented listening style.
B. It shows an appreciative listening function.
[The * indicates the right answer. Depending whether the student answers the question right or
wrong, one of these two feedback options should appear:
Right answer: Congratulations, you are correct!
Wrong answer: Incorrect. By rescheduling the practice time, both friends can adapt their
WHAT IF?
1. How can you still listen actively when Reynaldo mocks his momentary lapse by
saying “Never mind, I’m just being stupid”?
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2. When Reynaldo reacts defensively and says “There’s nothing you can do to help,”
what do you say next?
You might say, “Maybe so, but I do have time to listen and sometimes it helps to just talk
it out.”
CLASSROOM ACTIVITIES
1. Sorry, What Did You Say?
Goal: To demonstrate to students how poor listening skills can negatively influence our
communication skills
Time: 15 minutes
2. While Group 2 waits in the hall, ask Group 1 to select a topic or story that they are
all really interested or passionate about. Ask them to be thinking of the story while
3. Tell Group 2 that Group 1 will be telling them a story. Explain that they should use
4. Bring the groups together and conduct the exercise.
5. Once completed, ask students to discuss how the listeners’ behaviors affected the
speaker. Did the speaker experience frustration or annoyance? Did the speakers’
2. Dual Simon Says
Goal: To use a fun way to introduce the subject of listening, demonstrate weak listening
skills, and open a discussion about task listening skills
Time: 20 minutes
1. Select two energetic students to lead two simultaneous games of Simon Says. Remind
them that their job is to ask students to follow simple commands, such as stand on their
2. Ask two more students to be judges and assign one judge to each of the leaders.
3. Ask the students to line up in rows; the number of rows will vary depending on the
size of the class. Try to ensure you have an even number of rows and at least four.
5. Allow students to play several rounds.
6. Once the game is complete, discuss with students the difficulties they experienced.
Ask students if having two leaders hindered their listening ability. Discuss with
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3. Do We All Hear the Same Thing?
Goal: To demonstrate to students the subjectivity of listening
Time: 10 minutes
2. Ask students to close their eyes and keep them closed and follow the following
directions:
a. Fold the paper in half.
3. Have students open their eyes and open the paper to see their design.
5. Discuss with students what factors would affect these results. If everyone heard the
same thing, why are some of the papers different? Ask for examples of a time several
4. Women and Men—Are You Really Listening?
Goal: To allow students an opportunity to explore common stereotypes about gender
differences in listening skills
Time: 45 minutes
1. Divide students by gender into two groups.
2. Ask each group to discuss and develop a list of a few common stereotypes about the
4. Discuss with students the differences between men and women’s listening skills and
the dangers of assuming all stereotypes are true.
5. How Good a Listener Are You?
Goal: To demonstrate students’ weaknesses in their listening skills
Time: 20 minutes
1. To prepare, create two lists. One list of 10 things should include a mix of the
3. Ask the class to identify the following:
• What did the sixth word start with?
• What was the next to last word?
• What word came after __________?
• What word started with _________?
4. Continue with your regular lesson, but take a break about halfway through to read
your mixed list to the class. Ask the same questions listed previously.
5. Continue with your regular lesson, and about 15 minutes before class is over, reread
your mixed item list in a different order and ask the questions again. Note that you
6. Discuss the results with the class. Did they get better at remembering the words once
they figured out the game? Did they have an easier time with the food list? How did
being prepared for the “list” aid them in their listening? How can this simple exercise
aid them in other listening situations?
MEDIA RESOURCES
1. Les Misérables (Universal Pictures, 2012)
A musical set in 19th-century France can be used to demonstrate how being unfamiliar
with types of communication, accents, or terminology often makes listening more
difficult or challenging. Play the movie and allow students to listen for a little while
without any explanation, and then pause it and ask them to explain what is happening.
Provide them with a little more information about the plot. Allow them to watch more and
pause again. Ask them again to explain the story and see if they are adapting to the
delivery style the more they listen. Open a discussion about the different factors that are
affecting their ability to listen effectively. Ask them to compare this listening experience
to a difficult class or a foreign language. How “foreign” does chemistry or calculus sound
to our ears when we first start the class? As we listen more, we adapt; if we are willing to
2. “5 Ways to Listen Better”
During this TED Talk, author and sound consultant Julian Treasure discusses the modern
3. “The Power of Listening—An Ancient Practice of Our Future”
In this TED Talk, Leon Berg discusses effective listening and improving our
4. “Lecture 10: Memory I”
This lecture by John Gabrieli from MIT discusses how our memory works, different types
5. ABC’s 20/20 Video: “Halley and Watson—Gender and Listening”
This ABC News 20/20 video discusses the differences between the listening styles of men