Chapter 5
Listening Skills
C
CHAPTER OBJECTIVES
• Learn how we listen and the different learning styles we use.
• Understand the external and internal challenges that keep us from being effective listeners.
• Identify strategies to become better listeners and to help others listen to us.
CHAPTER OUTLINE
CHAPTER INTRODUCTION
• The chapter opens with a scenario involving a couple named Suzanne and Ben whose
relationship seemed to fall apart as quickly as it began. Although arguments can be worked
through using effective communication strategies, the couple seemed to have a problem with
HOW WE LISTEN
• Listening and Hearing
Hearing means passively receiving messages.
Listening means actively paying attention to what you’re hearing. It involves both
• Interpreting
• Evaluating
• Responding
Processing what you’ve heard
• When you engage in processing, you actively think about a message you’re
• Action-oriented listeners usually focus on immediately getting to the meaning
of a message and determining what response is required.
• These listeners often prefer messages that are direct, concise, and error-free.
Content-oriented listening
• Content-oriented listeners favor depth and complexity of information and
• Time-oriented listeners have a concern with managing time.
• These listeners see time as a precious resource to be conserved and protected.
OVERCOMING EXTERNAL LISTENING CHALLENGES
• External listening challenges come from the outside world.
• Internal listening challenges come from within us.
The physical location of the communication event also affects listeners.
Factors that can affect listening include comfort level and the presence of distractions
within the location.
• External Noise
The term external noise refers to distractions in the listening environment, such as
THE CULPRITS BEHIND POOR INTERNAL LISTENING
• Information Overload
George Miller of Harvard University suggested that there is a threshold limit for how
much information the human brain can meaningfully process at one time.
• Distracted Listening
Distracted listening means that people do not pay attention to what they’re hearing.
Internal noise is thoughts or emotions that make it hard to concentrate.
• This can include anxiety, ego, and preoccupation.
Nervous listening occurs when individuals feel compelled to talk through silences
because they’re uncomfortable with a lapse in the conversation.
BECOMING A BETTER LISTENER
• Interactive listening occurs when you filter out distractions, focus on what the other person or
people are saying, and show that you are listening.
As a responsible listener, you should show the speaker that you are listening by using
your attending skills, which means focusing on the other person and using a
combination of nonverbal and verbal cues.
HELPING OTHERS LISTEN TO YOU
o Explain concepts, and define key terms.
• Consider any barriers to understanding, such as whether everyone has a similar
capacity with the English language or whether anyone has problems with
hearing.
o Adjust your word choice or volume level as needed.
prepared to make adjustments as you go.
Tailor your delivery
• As you speak, pay attention to factors that affect a person’s ability to listen—
voice, volume, fluency, projection, rate, and timing.
• Maintain eye contact, and avoid obtrusive gestures (such as pointing) or turning
person.
Watch out for superficial listeners.
• Some people who pretend to pay attention but who are in fact distracted by
internal or external noise are engaged in superficial listening.
Identify main points.
Consider the speaker’s objectives.
• To provide constructive criticism—feedback a speaker can use to improve his
or her skills—strive to understand what the presenter is trying to accomplish.
Support your feedback with examples.
processing
retention
action-oriented listeners
content-oriented listeners
people-oriented listeners
internal noise
interruptive listening
agenda-driven listening
argumentative listening
CLASS DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What is the difference between hearing and listening? What are some instances of when you
“hear” music versus when you “listen” to music?
• Hearing is receiving messages in a passive way. Listening is actively paying attention to what
you’re hearing. It involves both processing the message to decide on its meaning and
retaining what you’ve heard and understood.
2. What are some of the causes of internal listening, and how can you combat them?
• There are several causes of internal listening, but one that resonates with students is
information overload when they are in some content-heavy classes. They will admit that their
3. What is your interpretation of the phrase, “There are two sides to every story”?
• Sometimes, we hear stories and think to ourselves, “That’s not how that happened” or
“That’s not what that person said.” Perception is reality. For example, two siblings who
4. What are some examples of instances when you engaged in superficial listening? What are some
nonverbal behaviors that you may express when engaging in superficial listening? What are the
consequences of not being a more active listener in these situations?
5. Have you ever attended a speaking engagement and found it difficult to listen to the person
speaking? What factors made it difficult to listen? What strategies could you have used to be a better
listener?
• Most people have attended a speaking engagement, but if students cannot think of a specific
time, they can respond to this question hypothetically (what factors would make it difficult
APPLY YOUR SKILLS
APPLY YOUR SKILLS FROM CHAPTER 5
1. Look at the “Apply Your Skills” activity on page 159 in the text. After students complete the
activity, have them answer the following questions, either in a small group, in a class discussion, or
in writing:
• Have you ever found yourself in a position where a few seconds of silence felt like an
MORE “APPLY YOUR SKILLS” IDEAS
1. Review the illustration “The Attentiveness Curve” on page 135 in the text. In what situations have
you found yourself falling victim to the attentiveness curve? What strategies might you use to help
you retain information?
PERSONAL WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
1. Have students think of a person that they admire. Now have them think of someone that they
have an unfavorable opinion of. How do their listening styles differ between the two individuals?
What strategies can they use to be a better listener with either individual?
2. Have students think of the number of times that they’ve forgotten someone’s name as soon as
they’ve heard it. Why do we remember only select names, and how often do we have a conversation
CLASSROOM ACTIVITIES
1. Listening for key words: Ask students to raise their hands for a few seconds if any of the
experiences below apply to their own lives. Have them look around the room to see if anyone else
has their hand in the air, indicating a similar experience. (After they take a look, they can put down
their hands, and you can move to the next experience and repeat.)
• Lost a parent or other family member
• Lost a pet
• Been in a car accident
• Was prom king or queen
• Broke a bone or had surgery
• Experienced an eating disorder
• Gone on a blind date
Now have students partner with someone and stand back-to-back with anyone else who raised their
hand (should be everyone). Have the students select one of the stories for which they raised their
hand and take turns telling their stories to their partner in two minutes. Partners will then take out a
sheet of paper and write out five key words to describe the other person’s story. Gather students
together as a class, and facilitate a discussion about listening, reminding students that everyone has a
story that helps shape who they are. Did students find it more difficult to pay attention while
standing back-to-back, or was it easier? Could the students retell their partner’s story by looking over
the key words they had written down? Part of being a good communicator is being able to convey
2. Bag of goodies: Have students bring to class a bag of three items that help define who they are.
Have them form groups of four or five people and share their items, attaching a story to each one.
After all members of the group have told their stories, ask students to take out a piece of paper and
3. Speech critique: Have students pretend that they just heard the most boring informative speech
about how to brew beer at home. The content could have been made more memorable with better
4. Creating a TED (Technology, Entertainment, and Design) Talk: Have students form groups of
four or five, and ask them to create a three- to five-minute TED Talk as a group to teach the class
5. Listening with distractions: As the instructor, select two brief news articles to share with the class,
and develop 10 simple questions related to the content in each article. (Do not tell the students that
this is a listening activity at this point.) While reading the first article, have students take out their cell
A
ADDITIONAL MEDIA RESOURCES AND ACTIVITIES
1. Search for and watch the two-minute clip “He at Least Listened” from Patch Adams (Universal
Pictures, 1998). What type of listening is the therapist using, and what nonverbal behaviors is he
displaying that lead you to that conclusion?
2. Watch the TED Talk “5 Ways to Listen Better” by Julius Treasure. What is meant by the phrase
“We are losing our listening,” and do you find it to be a true statement? Why or why not?
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HANDOUTS AND READY–TO–PRINT ACTIVITIES
Recording Internal and External Distractions
Monitor your conversations with different people for 24 hours. Try to be an active
listener in each conversation, but pay attention to the internal (thoughts) and external
factors that affect your ability to listen. Record those internal and external barriers to
Internal Barriers to Listening External Barriers to Listening