CHAPTER 3: Communication and Personal Identity
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
After studying the topics in this chapter, students should be able to:
1. Provide examples of a direct definition, a reflected appraisal, and a social comparison
that have shaped your self-concept.
3. Provide two examples of how your identity has been influenced by particular others.
5. Reflect on how the predominant identity categories of Western society have influenced
your self-concept.
6. Apply the guidelines in this chapter to set a goal for personal improvement.
MINDTAP ENGAGEMENT QUESTION
The first student activity in Chapter 3 asks students a polling question where they are presented
with a set of answer choices. One point is awarded regardless of what answer they choose. The
question is designed to reveal beliefs or assumptions about a chapter-specific topic. As an
instructor, you can view your classes’ responses as a pie chart within MindTap and discuss the
results in class, if you choose. This chapter’s question is:
How do social media affect your self-esteem?
CHAPTER OUTLINE
I. The self is a process that involves internalizing and acting from social perspectives that
we learn in the process of communication.
A. The self arises in communication with others.
1. The first important influence on how we see ourselves is the family.
a. Direct definition is communication that explicitly tells us who we are by
labeling us and our behaviors.
b. Identity scripts are rules for how we are supposed to live and who we are
2. A second major influence on our self-concepts is communication with our peers.
3. A third influence on our self-concepts is interaction with society in general.
4. Communication shapes the self through the self-fulfilling prophecy. The
prophecies that we act to fulfill usually are first communicated to us by others’
direct definitions, identity scripts, and attachment styles. Because we often
internalize others’ perspectives, we may act to fulfill the labels.
B. The self is multidimensional.
2. The cognitive self refers to how we think.
4. The social self refers to how we interact with others. Our social selves also
5. The moral self refers to what we believe in and try to follow.
C. The self is a process.
2. We develop ego boundaries which determine where the self stops and the rest of
the world begins.
D. The self internalizes and acts from social perspectives.
1. The “particular others” refers to the viewpoints of specific people who are
significant to us.
3. “The generalized other” refers to the collection of rules, roles, values, and
attitudes endorsed by the whole social community in which we live.
a. The generalized other is culture-specific.
i. North American culture views race as a primary aspect of personal
E. Social perspectives on the self are constructed and changeable.
1. Social perspectives are constructed in particular cultures at specific times to
support dominant ideologies, or the beliefs and traditions of those in power.
3. Social perspectives are changeable because they are fluid and respond to
individual and collective efforts to weave new meanings in the fabric of common
life.
II. Digital Media and Personal Identity
A. Social media provides us with direct definitions and reflected appraisals. We get and
give a lot of appraisals through online and digital communication.
III. Guidelines for Enhancing the Self
A. Make a strong commitment to improve yourself.
B. Gain knowledge as a basis for personal change.
1. First, understand how the self is formed.
3. An important source of knowledge is other people.
C. Set realistic goals based on realistic standards.
D. Self-disclose when appropriate.
E. Accept yourself as being in process.
1. Accept who you are now as a starting point.
2. Realize that you can change.
F. Create a supportive context for change.
1. Think about your settings.
3. Avoid self-sabotage, or the self-talk that tells us that we are no good.
You can also search for these terms directly in MindTap to find them in the Reader. Students can
use flashcards in MindTap to study key concepts.
KEY TERMS PAGE IN TEXT
Attachment styles 48
Direct definition 47
Ego boundaries 53
Identity scripts 48
Particular others 54
Perspective of the generalized other 56
Reflected appraisal 55
Self 47
Self-disclosure 62
Self-sabotage 63
Social comparison 50
ACTIVITIES
1. Others in Me
This activity enhances students’ awareness of the ways that communication with others has
shaped their self-concepts. It is based on the “Sharpen Your Skill” activity on page 65 in the
2. Uppers and Downers and Vultures
This is a role-play activity designed to increase students understanding of how others’
communication affects self-concept and self-esteem.
Select four students for the demonstration. Either before class or by stepping outside of the room
during class, talk privately with the students about the role play. Assign one student the role of
Self. This student should talk about a problem, concern, or situation in his or her life. It may be
“You have always been selfish and a lousy friend. Remember how you treated Joanne when you
were 5?” After discussing the exercise with the role players, allow them time to develop a 5- to
3. Inner Dialogues
This exercise illustrates the complementary, yet distinct, roles of the I and the ME parts of self.
Create groups with seven to eight members. Each group should produce a two-minute skit in
which one member plays the I and one the ME. The I and ME players should verbalize the
4. Self-Concept Speech
The exercise gives students the chance to explore their self-concepts and speak in front of the
class for perhaps the first time. You can use this activity as a graded or ungraded activity to
5. Particular Others Speech
This speech exercise provides an additional nonthreatening way to have students speak to the
class. Have each student identify an individual who has had a significant impact on her or his
life. Then, have each student develop a two-minute speech describing the individual and the
JOURNAL IDEAS
• Read though a commercial magazine and identify examples of the generalized other’s
perspective on sex roles and gender. Focus on how media define desirable women and men.
Analyze these messages and discuss how you respond to them.
• Read the text’s coverage of the self-concept. How have others, including your family, peers,
and society, influenced your self-concept? Draw upon vocabulary from the textbook.
• Who are your heroes? Who are some of the well-known “American heroes” that you know of
today as well as 10, 20, or 100 years ago? Are they always “good guys”? Why do you think
that these individuals are/have been valorized in the United States? Is this changing? What
does this suggest about the perspective of the generalized other—particularly as it is
represented in media accounts of the identity of “American heroes”? What social
perspectives and identity scripts are we encouraged to value as well as ignore? (Instructor
Note: Be prepared to point out any social or cultural groups that are over- or
underrepresented in the category of “American” heroes. Relate this to standpoint and the
process of crafting self-concept. As a class, you can discuss the implications of not seeing
your own or another social or cultural group represented as heroic, strong, admirable, etc.)
• Have you ever participated in a digital community that altered your identity? What did you
change? What were the results? If you have done this, why? If you haven’t done this, would
you consider it? Why or why not?
TECHNOLOGY RESOURCES
There are additional student resources in MindTap. If you have a networked computer in your
classroom and a projection system for viewing the computer screen, you can easily introduce
your students by walking them through the process for accessing the website. If you don’t have
this projection and computer equipment in your classroom, you can share the resources in this
PREPARE Your Informative Speech, and Practice and Present activities powered by YSU, such
as PRACTICE Your Informative Speech, are also available in MindTap. Like all activities in
MindTap, you can modify or move any of these.
Web Links
Website Description
URL
This website provides a discussion of attachment theory.
http://www.psych.uiuc.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm
This is the website for the Office of Head Start.
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/ohs/
To learn about how a person’s caste affected his or her
opportunities in life, read this article published by
Human Rights Watch.
https://www.hrw.org/news/2001/08/29/global-caste-
discrimination
This website provides a discussion of attachment
theory—specifically how people’s enduring patterns of
relationships are developed because of their
interpersonal communication styles.
http://www.personalityresearch.org/attachment.html
For more information on homosexual self-concept, visit
the GLAAD website.
http://www.glaad.org/
Films
Both Citizen Ruth and A Tale of O (discussed in Chapter 2) are films that can also work at this
stage of the course.
Mask (1985) is a useful film for thinking about self-concept and the influence of our “significant
others” and families on our identities and subsequent social behaviors. This film also highlights
how perceptions of physical attributes influence (mis)perception of others as well as how
TEST ITEMS
Multiple Choice Items
1. “You are an excellent athlete,” Kevin tells his daughter. Kevin’s statement is an example of
a. indirect definition.
b. direct definition.
c. identity script.
d. self-fulfilling prophecy.
e. downer.
2. Rules for how we are supposed to live and who we are supposed to be are known as
a. direct definitions.
b. identity scripts.
c. self-fulfilling prophecies.
d. social comparisons.
e. attachment styles.
3. Secure attachment styles tend to develop in children whose caregivers
a. are consistently loving and attentive.
b. are more often loving than rejecting.
c. alternately loving and rejecting.
d. are socially conservative.
e. are often more important than significant others.
4. Edmund is very attentive and supportive to his son Mylan when he is sober, but when
Edmund drinks, he often ignores his son and sometimes verbally abuses him. Mylan never
knows which way his father will act. If Edmund is Mylan’s primary caregiver, Mylan is
likely to develop which attachment style?
a. fearful
b. secure
c. anxious/ambivalent
d. dismissive
e. defensive
5. The beginning of the self-concept, or the recognition that individuals are separate entities, is
also known as
a. direct definition.
b. ego boundary.
c. social comparison.
d. self-fulfilling prophecy.
e. reflected appraisal.
6. The generalized other is comprised of the views of
a. our family of origin.
b. society as a whole.
c. our peers in school.
d. persons with whom we have an I-It relationship.
e. the looking-glass self.
7. Marjorie plays soccer. She is a first-year student on her high school team, and after the first
practice, she feels pretty awful about herself because the seniors are much better players than
she is. She tells her friend, “I look like a five-year-old compared to them! How will I ever get
that good? I’m embarrassed to even practice.” By judging her ability based on the skills of her
teammates, Marjorie is engaging in
a. direct definition.
b. ego boundaries.
c. social comparison.
d. self-fulfilling prophecy.
e. reflected appraisal.
8. Family members use direct definitions to
a. relay gender stereotypes and expectations.
b. respond to children’s behaviors.
c. relay positive labels that enhance self-esteem.
d. relay negative labels that can damage self-esteem.
e. All of these answers are correct.
9. Since Sam was a baby, her parents have always told her, “Treat others how you want to be
treated.” This is an example of a(n)
a. identity script.
b. attachment style.
c. direct definition.
d. upper.
e. ego boundary.
10. When we engage in social comparisons, what might we be doing?
a. measuring ourselves in relation to others by deciding we are like them or different from
them
b. telling ourselves that we are good
c. measuring how long it takes us to invite that individual to converse
d. forming an identity script for what a friend is
e. forming a direct definition for the people we come into contact with
11. Which of the following refers to the attachment style that develops when a caregiver is
disinterested, rejecting, or abusive?
a. fearful
b. dismissive
c. secure
d. anxious
e. ambivalent
12. All of the following are values of self-disclosing EXCEPT
a. sharing enhances closeness between people.
b. sharing may lead to others responding more sensitively.
c. self-disclosing invites others to self-disclose.
d. self-disclosing can affect what we know about ourselves and how we feel about who we
are.
e. self-disclosing leads to positive ego boundaries.
13. All of the following are examples of influential particular others EXCEPT
a. parents.
b. siblings.
c. day-care providers.
d. cyber bullies.
e. None of these are exceptions.
14. The first step to accepting yourself as being “in process” is
a. accepting yourself as you are now.
b. realizing that the self is influenced by how others see us.
c. considering the setting, or context.
d. avoiding self-sabotage.
e. considering yourself in the context of society.
15. Which of the following is a guideline for encouraging personal growth as a communicator?
a. Make a strong commitment to help improve others.
b. Gain knowledge as a basis for personal change.
c. Set goals that are based on our ideals.
d. Seek out the perspective others have of you.
e. All of these choices are guidelines for encouraging personal growth as a communicator.
16. After failing the exam, Jim told himself that he would never learn calculus. Jim’s statement is
an example of
a. self-fulfilling prophecy.
b. a negative attachment style.
c. self-sabotage.
d. an ego boundary
e. being a self-vulture.
17. Maria tried to learn to swim at a young age but gave up before succeeding. She carried the
belief that she could not learn to swim into adulthood and labeled herself a nonswimmer.
This is an example of
a. a negative attachment style.
b. a self-fulfilling prophecy.
c. a generalized other.
d. an ego boundary.
e. self-sabotage.
True-False Items
18. Reflected appraisal is the process of seeing ourselves through others’ eyes.
a. True
b. False
19. The self has multiple dimensions.
a. True
b. False
20. The perspectives of the generalized other are unchangeable because they are constructed by
members of society.
a. True
b. False
21. Adults with anxious/ambivalent attachment styles are often inconsistent in giving/accepting
affection and closeness.
a. True
b. False
22. The most basic insight into the self isn’t something we are born with but rather it develops as
we communicate with others and participate in the social world.
a. True
b. False
23. We learn our attachment styles in our relationships with our first caregivers.
a. True
b. False
24. The media is not a primary agent in teaching social perspectives.
a. True
b. False