CHAPTER 4
Communication for Relationship Building: It’s Not All Talk
LECTURE OUTLINE
I. THE CORE PRINCIPLES: COMMUNICATION
A. You can read people’s minds (sort of).
B. Use the techniques learned in this and the last chapter to better meet people’s
needs, not just make sales.
II. COMMUNICATION: IT TAKES TWO
A. Communication – the act of transmitting verbal and non-verbal information between
the seller and the buyer and understanding one another.
1. Face-to-face communication is composed of:
a. Verbal messages.
b. Vocal messages (voice quality, pitch inflection, and pauses).
c. Non-verbal messages.
B. Salesperson-buyer communication process requires feedback.
2. Eight major communication elements:
a. Source – salesperson.
b. Encoding process – conversion by the salesperson of ideas and concepts
into the language and materials used in the sales presentation.
c. Message – information conveyed in the sales presentation.
d. Medium – form of communication used in the sales presentation and
discussion.
e. Decoding process – interpretation of the information by the receiver.
f. Receiver – the prospective buyer.
g. Feedback – reaction to the communication as transmitted to the receiver.
h. Noise – factors that distort communication between buyer and seller.
I. THE BUYER’S PERSONALITY SHOULD BE CONSIDERED
A. Personality can affect buying decisions.
1. Personality – the individual’s distinguishing character traits, attitudes, or habits.
B. Self-concept theory – each buyer possesses four images:
2. The self image – the way the individual sees himself.
4. The looking-glass self – the way the individual thinks others regard him.
II. ADAPTIVE SELLING BASED ON BUYER’S PERSONALITY STYLE
1. Adaptive selling describes the salesperson’s ability to adjust and modify their
behaviors to better align with their customers’ needs
a. The salesperson uses his or her actions, communication, and behaviors to
demonstrate to the buyer that he or she is similar to the buyer and
compatible with the buyer.
a. Adapt your personal style to best relate to the people with whom
you interact
2. Personality typing – method to uncover aspects of the prospect’s personality
that might influence a buying decision.
3. Carl Jung
a. Laid the basis of modern psychiatry.
b. Four categories of personality types:
(1) Thinker.
(3) Feeler.
(4) Senser.
c. Guidelines to identify personality type:
(1) Identify a key trait.
(2) Focus on time orientation.
(3) Identify the environment.
(4) Listen to what people say.
B. Adapt your presentation to the buyer’s style.
1. A major challenge is to adapt your personal style to that of the person you’re
dealing with.
C. Styles:
1. Thinker style:
a. High value placed on logic, ideas, and systematic inquiry.
2. Intuitor style:
a. High value placed on ideas, innovation, concepts, theory, and long-range
thinking.
b. Give the buyer the “bigger picture.”
c. Build the buyer’s concepts and objectives.
3. Feeler style:
a. High value placed on being people-oriented and sensitive.
b. Relate to buyer the impact your idea will have on people.
c. Keep on a personal note with small talk.
4. Senser style:
a. High value placed on action.
b. Be brief and to the point.
c. Verbal communication is more effective than written communication.
5. Watch for clues.
a. Be observant of a buyer’s environment to determine that person’s
personality style.
b. Determine primary (dominant) style and complimentary or back-up style.
D. What is your style? – Find out your own personality style by completing the
III. NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION: WATCH FOR IT
A. Four major non-verbal communication channels are:
1. Physical space between people.
2. Appearance.
3. Handshake.
4. Body movements.
B. Concept of space.
1. Territorial space – refers to the area around the self a person will not allow
another person to enter without consent.
2. Four types of territorial space to consider:
a. Intimate space – up to two feet or about arm’s length is the most sensitive
zone. It is reserved for very close friends and loved ones.
c. Social space – the area normally used for a sales presentation (four to
twelve feet).
d. Public space – often used by the salesperson making a presentation to a
group of people (greater than twelve feet).
3. Space threats – The “territorial imperative” causes people to feel that they
should defend their space or territory.
4. Space invasion.
a. A prospect who allows you to enter or invade personal or even intimate
space is saying, “Come into my space. Let’s be friends.”
b. You can use space to your advantage.
C. Communications through appearance and handshakes.
1. Style hair carefully.
D. Dress as a professional: Adapting to the customer
1. Dress as a professional – wardrobe is always a major determinant of sales
success.
2. Number of companies have eased their dress code policies.
a. Important to choose attire based on your customer and the location of the
meeting.
b. Your business wardrobe will depend on your firm’s dress code, the work
you are conducting, whether you are meeting with a customer, and the
dress code and culture of your customer.
E. Shake hands firmly and “look ‘em in the eye” – general rules:
1. Strangers may be uncomfortable shaking hands, so, at times, allow your
customers to initiate the gesture.
3. General handshake rules:
a. Demonstrate your interest. If possible, align your body position with the
buyer.
b. Step or lean ever-so slightly forward and initiate the handshake.
F. Body language gives you clues.
1. Acceptance signals – those that indicate that the buyer believes your product
might fulfill his needs.
a. Body angle – leaning forward or upright at attention.
b. Face – smiling, pleasant, relaxed, good eye contact, positive voice tones.
c. Arms – relaxed and generally open.
d. Hands – relaxed and generally open, performing calculations, holding on
to a sample as you try to withdraw it, a firm handshake.
e. Legs – crossed and pointed toward you or uncrossed.
2. Caution signals – the buyer is neutral or skeptical.
a. Body angle – leaning away from you.
b. Face – puzzled, little or no expression, little eye contact, neutral or
questioning.
c. Arms – crossed, tense.
d. Hands – moving, fidgeting with something, clasped, a weak handshake.
e. Legs – moving, crossed away from you.
3. How to handle caution signals:
a. Adjust to the situation by slowing up or departing from you planned
presentation.
b. Use open-ended questions to encourage the buyer to talk and express his
attitudes and beliefs.
c. Listen and respond to what buyers say.
d. Project acceptance signals.
4. Disagreement signals:
a. Body angle – retracted shoulders, leaning away from you, entire body is
back (wants to move away).
b. Face – tense, showing anger, wrinkled face and brow, very little eye
contact, negative voice tones, may become suddenly silent.
c. Arms – tense, crossed over chest.
d. Hands – tense and clenched, weak handshake.
e. Legs – crossed and away from you.
5. How to handle disagreement signals.
a. Use open-ended questions.
d. Reduce or eliminate pressure to buy or talk.
e. Let him know you’re there to help him, not to sell at any cost.
f. Use direct questions to determine his attributes and beliefs.
6. Body guidelines:
a. Be able to recognize non-verbal signals.
b. Be able to interpret them correctly.
c. Be prepared to alter a selling strategy by slowing, changing, or stopping
a planned presentation.
d. Respond non-verbally and verbally to a buyer’s non-verbal signals.
G. Mirroring and Mimicry
1. Mirroring or mimicry happens when people take part in similar actions at
relatively the same time (i.e. within three to five seconds).
a. Value of mimicry: May assist in creating greater levels of compatibility,
such as liking, trust, empathy and helping behaviors
IV. COMMUNICATION: IMPROVE YOUR ENCODING AND DECODING
A. Two major elements of communication.
1. Strive to improve the message and its delivery in the sales presentation.
2. Improve your ability to determine what the buyer is communicating to you.
B. Encoding: The Sender’s Professional Communication
1. Reduce vocalize pauses: umm, uhh, like, awesome, great
3. Use transitions to maintain conversational flow
4. Use proof statements to create credibility in your communication.
a. A statement that substantiates claims made by the salesperson. An article
in a magazine is an example.
5. Express enthusiasm through vocal tone and inflection.
6. Express empathy when appropriate.
a. Empathy puts you in your customer’s shoes – Empathy is the ability to
identify and understand other people’s feelings, ideas, and situations
7. Keep the message simple
a. Keep it simple – Make the buyer feel comfortable by using non-technical
8. Use feedback to guide your conversation
a. Feedback guides your presentation – Salespeople need to generate
feedback, or a recognizable response, from the buyer.
9. Generate feedback on your communicated benefits through a trial close
a. Predetermine when and what feedback-producing questions to use in
C. Decoding a Sales Conversation: Listen Carefully
1. A relative rule of thumb for sales is an 80/20 ratio of listening to speaking.
2. The goal of the salesperson is to spend 80% of the meeting listening and 20%
D. Listening clues you in.
1. Hearing refers to being able to detect sounds.
2. Listening means hearing the emotion behind the words.
3. A good salesperson should listen carefully to a buyer to determine his need or
concern. “Guides for listening” are:
a. Listen to words and thoughts.
(2) Concentrate.
(3) Listen between the words.
b. Listen to the full story.
c. Recognize feelings and emotions.
d. Restate the buyer’s position (summarize for clarity).
e. Question with care.
f. The three levels of listening are:
(1) Marginal listening.
a. Marginal listening, the first and lowest level, involves the
least concentration, and typically listeners are easily
distracted by their thoughts.
(2) Evaluative listening.
a. The listener actively tries to hear what the prospect says
but isn’t making an effort to understand the intent.
(3) Active listening.
a. The active listener refrains from evaluating the message
b. Listen behind the words for the emotional content of the
4. Technology helps to remember.
a. Memory is simple recall over time.