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Russell Oakley, an orthopedic surgeon, said the wound looked as though it was caused
by an AK–47.
-47, the boy surprised me by saying he thought it was an
M- nough to hear me, let alone respond
to me.
9. The details and descriptive verbs carry the detail.
Billy Ross Sims is handcuffed and sweating. Not an easy combination.
As perspiration beads up on his forehead, then drips into his eyebrows, Sims
afraid of losing his train of thought, his rant dips his head down to clear away the
sweat by dragging his face across the lap of his white prison overalls.
His head darts back up Talking and
10. a. Compound. The structure sets two facts next to each other but does not explicitly
establish the relationship.
c. Two simple sentences. Like the compound sentence, these two sentences do not
explicitly show the relationship.
12. Sample rewrite:
gone berserk. They could see marks on the ground whe
swimming across the sand. Sometimes they find people with their shoes and clothes
piled neatly beside them where they decided to lie down and peacefully die. When the
13. Word counts: 16, 13, 13, 15, 15, 17, 17, 14, 13, 12, 15, 17, 18, 19 and 19. There are 15
sentences of similar length, for 233 words. The following revised story has these word
counts: 16, 10, 21, 8, 14, 17, 13, 10, 14, 15, 19, 7, 11 and 19. It has 14 sentences, totaling
194 words.
–
mmons said.
possible flu strains. The patient must recover before a final determination can be made,
Simmons said.
incidents of flu-
14. Answers will vary. Transitions signal relationships to the preceding sentences and
paragraphs. They also signal changes in time and place. You can ask students to assess
transitions against those criteria.
15. a. Since 1949, the federal government has quietly spent hundreds of millions of
and then abandoning nearly a dozen pilot plants and
experimental facilities to produce synthetic fuels.
Now, under the Energy Security Act that became law in June, the government
intends to distribute not just hundreds of millions, but billions of tax dollars to oil
companies to construct yet more pilot synthetic fuel plants and experimental facilities
to conduct yet more tests.
b. Here is how AP wrote the story:
c
Educational Excellence established a year ago consisted mainly of a lengthy laundry
list of suggested educational reforms, including better teaching conditions and sharply
higher starting salaries of $29,000 to attract better people into the profession.
the many national reports on education released so far have lacked one critically
important element: the perspective of the men and women who teach and serve our
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16. Transitions are underlined below. Scene-setting words are in boldface. The opening
paragraph describes the pertinent details of the scene; mushroom hunters are out early in
the morning, so the scene reflects that time and place.
COLUMBIA, Mo. On a chilly Sunday morning, a thin fog hovers above the
Missouri River bottoms near Boonville. The sun is barely up, and heavy dew coats
the grass.
17. a. Simile
b. Metaphor
c. Simile
d. Simile
e. Metaphor
18. Sample answers follow.
a. At first it sounded like a lion roaring in a tin cup. Then the door snapped from its
hinges and blew across the hall as if it had been punched in the stomach.
b. . . . like a scared screech owl.
c. The children scrambled for the candy like ants after sugar.
d. The only thing worse would be the smell of a thousand rotten eggs. The fish lay helter–
19. Sample explanation: The U.S. government debt would run the university for 21,930 years
at current rates.
20. Sample explanation: The smallest man on the wrestling team is a thumb shorter than the
average seventh-
buckle, eye to bellybutton.
21. Sample rewrite: The equipment you buy with your sewer and water fees is less likely to
22. Sample rewrite: A surgical technique to correct poor distance vision may also speed up
the decline in your ability to see things up close. Researchers, who released the results of
23. The story is full of specific details instead of generic statements. For instance, the
st improving the passage
by changing the passive verbs to active verbs in the second paragraph, which is done here.
flatbed and sliced the
top off an oncoming vehicle near Fairchild Air Force Base.
Both victims wore seat belts, but in this case, that was irrelevant, (Sgt. Jeff) Sale
said. Both suffered severe head injuries.
Sleeping bags, a Coleman cooler and fishing equipment scattered on the highway
and in the back of the Suburban suggested a camping trip. Unopened cans of Pepsi
were jammed behind the front seat of the car.
24. Sample story:
A Springfield man, though burned on 50 percent of his body, is in satisfactory
condition today after a one-car accident on Interstate 70, 20 miles west of Springfield.
25. Sample story:
163
Gary Evenson was tired but excited. He was going to Kansas City to surprise his
fiancee with the new red Ford Mustang he had just purchased. They would use it on
their honeymoon next weekend.
Evenson suffered burns over 50 percent of his body. He also has a broken arm and a
slight concussion, but he is in satisfactory condition at Springfield Hospital.
Her fiance did care.
26. Sample story:
og.
Marcelle Sosinski of 2990 W. Hanover St. said the dog, a German shepherd, had
been sitting outside a restaurant Saturday evening at the Lincoln County fair in
Springfield while the family was eating. When the family came out, the dog was gone.
27. Sample story:
164
A 12-year-
donated the dog is offering a $500 reward for its return.
Marcelle Sosinski of 2990 W. Hanover St., DePere, Ill., thinks the dog was stolen
Saturday night while the family was eating at a restaurant at the county fair in
Springfield.
28. The short sentences reflect the action being described. The scene is written in the present
tense to give it a sense of immediacy.
29. Sample story:
Two Springfield Central High School students, just weeks away from graduation, died
early Saturday when their car collided with a tractor-trailer truck.
A third student is in serious condition.
Dead are Donna L. Neal, 18, of 34 Wayside Drive, and Angela Kane, 18, of 263
Blue Ridge Road. Colleen M. Stark, 17, of 534 Grand Ave., was seriously injured.
165
tractor-trailer. All three women were thrown
from the car.
The driver of the truck was not injured.
CHALLENGE EXERCISE
30. Sample story:
Last fall Donna Neal had to select her favorite hymns as part of a Sunday school class
assignment on funerals. The 18-year-old Springfield Central High School senior chose
Saturday afternoon friends and school officials were arranging to sing those hymns
in a memorial to Donna and a classmate who died in an early morning car wreck.
Donna and Angela Kane, 18, died in the collision with a tractor-trailer truck near the
Truman Sports Complex. Another classmate, 17-year-old Colleen Stark, was seriously
injured.
for solace.
31. This exercise is also relevant for Chapter 10, Alternatives to the Inverted Pyramid. As we
suggest in our teaching tips for that chapter, asking students to read anthologies that
include narrative-style nonfiction stories can help them get a better grasp of the kind of