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CHAPTER
9
COMMUNICATION
AND FAMILY CONFLICT
This chapter examines (1) the conflict process, (2) factors in family conflict; (3)
destructive conflict; (4) constructive conflict; and (5) unresolved conflict. Conflict is
viewed as a necessary and potentially growth-producing behavior.
KEY TERMS
Antagonistic contradiction Collaboration
ASSIGNMENTS/EXERCISES
1. Play/Film Analysis
Have students analyze the use of constructive or destructive conflict strategies within a
marital or family relationship in one of the following plays:
Angels in America
August: Osage County
Raisin in the Sun
The Normal Heart
Tony and Tina’s Wedding
Marvin’s Room
2. Self-Other Analysis
Have students select a relationship with a significant other, family member, or close
friend, and analyze the conflictual communication that occurs. Specifically ask each
student to identify the development of the conflict as they relate to this particular
relationship. For example, “What are the prior conditions that are likely to begin a
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3. Role Play: Reflective Listening
Have students demonstrate destructive and constructive conflict around the same issue.
Ask a pair of students to simulate an argument two separate times around an issue
about which they hold differing points of view. During the initial argument tell them to
use all the destructive strategies such as name calling, labeling, interrupting, yelling,
tangential responses, etc. During the second round, give them the following directions:
4. Cross-Cultural Interview
Ask student to interview someone who was raised in, or has lived in, another culture.
Ask that person to describe how conflict is viewed in that culture and the ways in
which conflict is typically expressed, such as silence or screaming. How much
6. Personal Conflict Strategies
Obtain copies of the Kilmann and Thomas conflict style scale and have students take it
to identify their primary conflict styles. Ask them to reflect upon their findings: how
accurately do they feel the scale identified their conflict style? How might they be able
7. Analysis of Stage Model
Relying on the stages of conflict model, ask students to work through a topic which
8. Unresolved Conflict
Ask students to reflect upon an experience they’ve had with unresolved conflict in a
close or intimate relationship. How long did the conflict remain unresolved? What
9. Verbal Conflict: How Much is Too Much?
Divide students into small groups and ask them to discuss the extent to which verbal
aggression is appropriate in relationships. Physical abuse may be easier to identify than
10. The Chilling Effect
Ask students to find a fictional relationship in either books, TV or movies in which the
MEDIA ILLUSTRATIONS
1. Conflict Styles Analysis
Using fictional family, ask students to identify the use of at least three Kilmann and
2. Marital Conflict in The Story of Us
(Adapted from Ann Bainbridge Frymier, Miami University)
In order to demonstrate unfair fighting strategies, show a clip from The Story of Us
wherein a married couple (played by Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeifer) engages in a
conflict wrought with unfair fighting. Show The Story of Us from: 40 through 1:05.