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Chapter 7
Active Listening
CHAPTER OUTCOMES
In this chapter, students will learn:
• How the listening process works
• Why people use different listening styles
CHAPTER OUTLINE
THE LISTENING PROCESS
Before you can strengthen your listening skills, it’s important to explore the foundation of listening: how
STAGES OF THE LISTENING PROCESS
• The process of listening involves six stages:
Hearing
Hearing is physically processing the sounds that others have produced, and mentally focusing your
attention on them. This occurs when sound waves enter your inner ear, causing your eardrum to vibrate.
These vibrations travel along special nerves to your brain, which interprets them as words and sounds.
o
Hearing also involves a mental side where you actively concentrate your attention on the sounds or
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• What forces negatively affect my listening?
• Do I need to control external or internal factors to improve my attention?
• Am I overly stressed, hungry, ill, or fatigued?
Understanding, Interpreting, and Evaluating
o
Understanding occurs when you recognize the literal (or denotative) meaning of the words the other
person has said.
o
Interpreting the full meaning of the message happens simultaneously with understanding and is
o Evaluating the message also occurs simultaneously with understanding and interpreting; it is when
you compare the newly received information against your past knowledge, to check its accuracy and
validity.
• Understanding, interpreting, and evaluating make up how you mentally process messages and are
Remembering
o Remembering or recalling is the process of being able to call back into consciousness the message; it
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•
Use mnemonics, which are abbreviations, words, simple phrases, ideas, or images, to help you
remember.
Responding
o
Responding is the outcome of listening and is when you communicate your attention and
comprehension to the speaker. Skillful listeners convey verbal and nonverbal feedback.
•
Positive feedback includes looking directly at the person who is speaking, smiling, facing the
speaker, leaning forward, and offering backchannel cues, verbal and nonverbal behaviors such as
nodding and making comments (“Uh-huh,” “Yes”).
MOTIVES FOR LISTENING
• Listening functions are the different reasons for listening; they powerfully shape how you choose to
listening functions include listening to:
1. Comprehend, by focusing on accurately interpreting and storing the information you receive to
correctly recall it later.
2. Provide support, by taking in what someone else says without evaluating it, and openly
expressing empathy in response.
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MULTITASKING AND LISTENING
• Research asserts that people who multitask, even those who think they do it well, shifting their
• Multitasking has a devastating effect on listening. Habitual multitaskers are poorer listeners and are
more likely to mishear messages or miss them completely. Multitasking can dramatically impact
listening because it disrupts all aspects of the listening process.
• To become an effective listener, resist the urge to multitask while listening. If you need to hear,
LISTENING
STYLES
Everyone has preferred ways of listening. Do you like listening to long stories told by friends, or do you
urge them to “get to the point”? Do you ask for detailed instructions on how to complete tasks at work, or
do you just want a brief overview? Your preferred listening style determines how you listen and is shaped
by both your gender and your culture.
FOUR LISTENING STYLES
• A listening style is a habitual pattern of listening behaviors, which reflects your attitudes, beliefs, and
predispositions about listening. Each of us listens in a consistent way across situations.
• There are four different listening styles:
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2. Content-oriented listeners prefer to be intellectually challenged by the messages they receive.
3. Action-oriented listeners (task-oriented listeners) like focused and organized information, and
4. Time-oriented listeners prefer brief encounters. They tend to let others know in advance exactly
how much time they have available for each conversation. Individuals using this style are more
• To be an active listener, use all four styles and strategically deploy them as needed.
GENDER AND LISTENING STYLES
• Research comparing male and female preferences suggests that men show a small preference for
action-oriented listening, while women show a strong preference for people-oriented listening.
o
Among individuals who use more than one style, men tend to favor action- and time-oriented
styles; women favor people- and content-oriented styles.
• Keep gender differences in mind during interpersonal interactions, group discussions, and
presentations. Observe the listening styles they display and adapt accordingly.
CULTURE AND LISTENING STYLES
• Culture influences people’s preferred listening styles and their perceptions of effective listening.
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• What’s considered competent listening in your culture may be perceived as incompetent
by others.
• When communicating with people from other cultures, adapt your listening style accordingly.
o
In individualistic cultures such as the United States and Canada, time-oriented and action-
o By contrast, individuals living in collectivistic cultures often emphasize people- and content-
oriented listening styles. In these cultures, try to adopt a people-oriented listening style and
provide positive feedback while the person is speaking. Avoid hurrying; express interest in the
speaker’s feelings, opinions, and concerns; and emphasize points of commonality.
• Remember to always match your style to the individual person, and don’t assume someone will have
a certain listening style just because he or she has certain cultural affiliations.
BARRIERS
TO
ACTIVE
LISTENING
Being a good listener isn’t easy––it’s hard work. Numerous challenges exist that can drive you away from
active listening and toward incompetence. Overcoming these challenges is essential to improving your
listening skills.
SELECTIVE LISTENING
• Selective listening is when you take in only bits and pieces of information presented by a speaker and
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• To overcome selective listening, don’t strive to listen to everything all at once, but instead seek to
slowly and steadily broaden the range of information you can actively attend to during your
encounters with others.
PSEUDO-LISTENING
AGGRESSIVE LISTENING
• Aggressive listening or ambushing is when you listen to what others say solely to find an opportunity
• Combat your own aggressive listening behaviors by discovering and dealing with the root causes of
the aggression, such as external pressures, job stress, relationship challenges, or family problems.
Consider all possible causes and solutions, and don’t hesitate to seek professional assistance.
• If you’re in a personal or professional relationship with someone who uses aggressive listening
IMPROVING
YOUR
ACTIVE
LISTENING
SKILLS
Although it sounds like a cliché, improving your active listening skills will improve your life. If you’re a
skilled listener, people will perceive you as a more competent communicator overall, and you’ll benefit
both professionally and personally as a result.
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MANAGE YOUR FEEDBACK
• Make people feel like you’re really listening to them through attentiveness to the speaker. When
speaking or listening, look for nonverbal and verbal signs that your listeners are paying attention. You
can manage your feedback by:
o Making your feedback positive. Lean forward, sit or stand in a position that lets you directly face
o Making your feedback obvious. To ensure that speakers can perceive your feedback, make sure
your vocal feedback is loud enough for them to hear and that your visual feedback is visible to
them.
o
Making your feedback appropriate. Be aware of the feedback required in each situation. Some
situations call for intense, almost aggressive feedback, while others require gentler feedback, such
as sustained eye contact or nodding when listening.
ADAPT YOUR LISTENING
• Quickly adapt your listening styles and functions, depending on the speaker to whom you’re listening
and the demands of the situation. Consider differences when communicating, and adapt your listening
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RECOGNIZE THE VALUE OF SILENCE
• Sometimes people just want someone to listen quietly so they can share their thoughts, feelings, and
emotions—a “sympathetic ear” or a “shoulder to cry on.” To facilitate this process, do the following:
• Research on grief management has found that the two listening behaviors identified as most helpful to
people who are grieving are:
o
Quietly allowing the griever to vent.
o
Providing a sense of presence and attentiveness while the griever talks.
CLASS DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. List three situations in which you find it difficult to listen. Think about each situation and
identify what factors make listening hard for you. Based on your reading, how could you
improve your active listening in each situation?
• Discuss with students the importance of identifying when they have difficulty listening. By
identifying these areas, they can adjust their behaviors to aid in listening. A good example is in
the classroom. If students know they have trouble with listening in class, suggest that they try
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2. Think of a subject or word that triggers an emotional response, like anger or stress from you. Do
you have trouble listening once this subject or word is mentioned? Does selective listening play a
role in your listening during these times? Why or why not?
• Ask students to give an example of a trigger word or subject that makes them angry. Consider
providing a personal example of an emotional trigger to begin the discussion. Explain to the
3. Of the four listening styles mentioned in your textbook, which two do you identify with most?
How do your preferred listening styles affect your performance in class or your relationships
with friends? How can understanding your preferred listening styles help make you a better
listener in these situations?
• Help students recognize which listening style or styles they tend to identify with and how this
affects how they are perceived as listeners. Give a personal example of your own preferred
4. Review the five listening functions in your textbook. Explain how each could be important in a
classroom setting. Give an example for each function.
• Begin by making sure students understand the five listening functions and how they differ. Have
5. Can you tell when someone is pseudo-listening to you? How does it make you feel? Discuss how
important it is to a speaker when a listener is genuinely interested, and how being an active
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listener makes you an effective communicator. How much responsibility does a listener have in
effective communication?
• Discuss with students how damaging pseudo-listening is on our recall and relationships. Ask
CLASSROOM ACTIVITIES
1. Sorry, What Did You Say?
Goal: To demonstrate to students how poor listening skills can negatively influence our
communication skills.
Time: 15 minutes
1. Divide the class into two groups, and then ask the second group to step out of the room.
2. While Group 2 waits in the hall, ask Group 1 to select a topic or story that they are all really
interested in or passionate about. Ask them to be thinking of the story while you step out to talk to
Group 2. Explain to Group 1 that each member will take turns telling the story to Group 2.
4. Bring the groups together and conduct the exercise.
5. Once the activity is completed, ask students to discuss how the listeners’ behaviors affected the
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2. Dual Simon Says
Goal: This is a fun way to introduce the subject of listening, demonstrate weak listening skills, and
open a discussion about task listening skills.
Time: 20 minutes
1. Select two energetic students to lead two simultaneous games of Simon Says. Remind them that
their job is to ask students to follow simple commands, such as stand on their right foot, take two
2. Ask two more students to be judges and assign one judge to each of the leaders.
4. Assign every other row a leader and place both leaders in front of the class on opposite sides.
5. Allow students to play several rounds.
6. Once the game is complete, discuss with students the difficulties they experienced. Ask students
3. Do We All Hear the Same Thing?
Goal: To demonstrate to students the subjectivity of listening.
Time: 10 minutes
1. Pass out a blank sheet of paper to each student.
2. Ask students to close their eyes and keep them closed, and to follow the following directions:
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• Fold the paper in half again.
• Tear off the bottom right corner.
3. Have students open their eyes and open the paper to see their design.
4. Ask students to compare their papers to see how many have the same design.
4. Women and Men—Are You Really Listening?
Goal: To allow students an opportunity to explore common stereotypes about gender differences in
listening skills.
Time: 45 minutes
1. Divide students by gender into two groups.
2. Ask each group to discuss and develop a list of a few common stereotypes about the listening
skills of the opposite sex and quickly develop a skit demonstrating these stereotypes.
5. How Good a Listener Are You?
Goal: To demonstrate students’ weaknesses in their listening skills.
Time: 20 minutes
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2. Read the list of foods to the class, pausing about 2 seconds between each word.
3. Ask the class to identify the following:
• What did the sixth word start with?
4. Continue with your regular lesson, but take a break about halfway through to read your mixed list
to the class. Ask the same questions listed above.
6. Discuss with the class the results. Did they get better at remembering the words once they figured
out the game? Did they have an easier time with the food list? How did being prepared for the
“list” aid them in their listening? How can this simple exercise aid them in other listening
situations?
MEDIA RESOURCES
1. Les Misérables (Universal Pictures, 2012)
A musical set in nineteenth-century France can be used to demonstrate how being unfamiliar with
types of communication, accents, or terminology often makes listening more difficult or challenging.
Play the movie and allow students to listen for a little while without any explanation, and then pause
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2.
5 Ways to Listen Better
During this eight-minute TED Talk, author and sound consultant Julian Treasure discusses the
modern challenges we have in listening, and he offers five ways we can improve our conscious
3.
The Power of Listening—An Ancient Practice of Our Future
In this 17-minute video, Leon Berg discusses effective listening and improving our relationships. The
4.
Listen Better: 5 Essential Phrases for Active/Reflective Listening
In this eight-minute video, Dr. Bruce Lambert, professor of communications, discusses ways to
become better active listeners by allowing people to reflect on their own emotions through repeating
5. Brain Games—“Biological Sex and Listening”
This three-minute video from the show Brain Games offers students a chance to test their listening