Chapter 7: Emotions and Communication
Key Concepts
Chilling effect
cognitive labeling view of emotions
counterfeit emotional language
deep acting
emotional intelligence
emotions
emotion work
feeling rules
interactive view of emotions
organismic view of emotions
perceptual view of emotions
rational-emotive approach to feelings
self-talk
surface acting
Chapter Outline
I. Emotions, or feelings, are part of our lives. We feel happiness, sadness, shame, pride,
embarrassment, envy, disappointment, and a host of other emotions. And we
communicate to express our emotions.
A. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize feelings, to judge which feelings are
appropriate in which situations and to communicate those feelings effectively.
a. Emotional Intelligence on the Job is a critical factor in career advancement.
B. By understanding emotions, we can define emotions as processes that are shaped by
physiology, perceptions, language, and social experiences.
1. A physiological approach to emotion, also known as the organismic view of
2. A perceptual approach to emotion suggests that subjective perceptions shape
3. A social influences or interactive approach to emotion suggests that what we
feel and how we express those feelings is influenced by social influences.
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b. Feeling rules tell us what we should feel or expect to feel in particular
situations based upon the values of cultures and social groups.
5.
control our emotions and the feelings we can experience and express in our
everyday lives.
II. There are two related sets of obstacles to effective emotional communication.
A. Just because we feel an emotion does not mean we express it to others.
1. Social expectations for Westerners indicate that it is more acceptable for
2. Self protection or being afraid/fearful of what we express could affect others
perceive us.
B. Just because we express an emotion does not mean that we communicate it
effectively.
1. Sometimes we speak in generalities, which do not effectively express our true
III. There are six general guidelines for expressing our emotions more effectively.
A. We need to identify what we feel before we try to express it to others.
B. Choosing how to communicate our emotions involves assessing our current state
as well as selecting an appropriate time and place to discuss our emotions.
C. Use I-language to express our feelings so that it reminds us we own our own
emotions and avoids making others feel defensive.
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D. Monitoring how we talk to ourselves about our emotions allows us to gain a better
A. It is also important to respond sensitively when others express their feelings to you.
A.
the first support a person needs when she or he is expressing strong
emotions. What many people need first is just the freedom to say what
they are feeling and have those feelings accepted by others.
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Discussion Ideas
Emotional intelligence: Have students generate a list of emotions they have felt or expect to
feel in each of the following situations. After they generate their lists, lead a discussion
about what labels they attached to the different emotions for the different situations. Why
did they use those labels instead of others?
Birth of a child
First day of school
Family vacations/trips
First day of college
College social
Framing and feeling rules: If you do not do discuss item one, ask students to generate
framing and feeling rules for each of those situations. Framing rules are guidelines for
Communicating emotions: If you have access to audio-visual equipment, choose a film or
television clip where the emotions are conveyed both verbally and nonverbally. Allow
students to listen to the verbal message and write down their perceptions of the emotions the
The rational-emotive approach to feelings: Lead a discussion about the extent to which
students believe this is an accurate or inaccurate view of feelings. The rational-emotive
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Flame wars, revisited: If you did not discuss flame wars in Chapter 5 for nonverbal
communication, discuss them here in terms of emotions. If so, you can revisit the topic here
Activities
Title Individual Partner/
Ethno
Group Demonstration/
Whole Class
Internet/
InfoTrac
1. Becoming Aware of Social Influences
on Emotions
X
3. Emotions in Song X – P – H
5. Identifying Feelings X
6. Emotional Issues X-P
X = Marks type of activity H = Handout P = Preparation required for students/teacher
Becoming Aware of Social Influences on Emotions
This exercise heightens students
framing rules, and emotion work. Divide the class into groups of 5 to 7 students. Assign each group a
situation in which emotional responses are likely. Examples of situations are the following:
Graduation ceremony at your college/university.
You see an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend out with another man/woman and you still want to be with the ex.
On the same day, you and your best friend hear from the company you both want to work for. Your
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Tell each group its task is to specify at least 3 framing rules, 3 feeling rules, and 2 examples of emotion
work for the situation assigned to that group.
Applying the Rational-Emotive Approach to Feelings
This exercise provides students with an opportunity to use the rational-emotive approach to help them
manage feelings in their own lives.
Tell students that you want each of them to participate in the exercise, and assure them that nobody will
have to share his or her ideas with others. Sharing ideas should be entirely voluntary.
Ask students to take out a clean sheet of paper. You will be leading them through the rational-emotive
approach to feelings on a step-by-step basis.
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Emotions in Song
The purpose of this activity is to analyze how emotions and emotional expression are portrayed in
popular culture, especially songs.
To prepare for this activity, visit Lyrics.com (http://www.lyrics.com) or A-Z Lyrics Universe
(http://www.azlyrics.com) and select certain song lyrics that portray emotions and their expression (such
as the ones listed below).
Aerosmith Jaded (http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Lobby/7678/lrc/61.txt)
Boyz II Men
In class, put students into groups of 4-5. Make a list of the key concepts from the class on emotions,
such as feeling and framing rules, obstacles to effective communication of emotion, influences on
Recognizing Counterfeit Emotional Language
This exercise fosters skill in recognizing counterfeit emotions.
Organize students into groups of 5 to 7 persons. Give each group a copy of the conversation between a
mother and her son. Reinforce the instructions on the handout by instructing the groups to discuss the
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Identifying Feelings
This activity is used to illustrate some basic concepts when identifying emotions.
Instruct students to write out their answers on a sheet of paper.
Instruct students to list out all the emotions that they feel in a given day.
Ask them what emotions they feel the most and which ones they express the most.
Ask them if there a difference? If so, write why this may be.
Emotional Issues
YouTube. Try and find a video that presents both sides of the issue in a fair
and just manner. For instance, Dr. Phil has a good video on gay marriage. Then, discuss in class why
emotions affect what is said? How can emotional issues be dealt with appropriately?
Journal Items
Describe one situation in which an irrational fallacy did or does debilitate you. Identify two ways you
might challenge that fallacy.
Responses will vary, but irrational beliefs or fallacies include perfectionism, obsession with shoulds,
Discuss how social roles and expectations influence how we express emotions. Explain if you believe
that their roles and expectations are changing.
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Responses will vary, but men and women vary in the ways society has influenced them to express
Describe the framing and feeling rules that operated in your family. Explain when you were allowed to
feel certain emotions and which emotions were expected in specific situations.
Responses will vary, but framing rules are guidelines for defining the emotional meaning of
Emoticons are graphical ways of representing emotions and other nonverbal features in computer
mediated communication (CMC). Identify the emoticons you commonly use in your CMC. Reflect
on why you limit your use of emoticons to those you identify.
Responses will vary, but commonly used emoticons include smiley faces :-) and frown faces :-( and
How do you deal with your emotions? How does this relate to Figure 7.5 on Effective Communication
of Emotions on p. 183?
Panel Idea
Plan a panel with members from different cultures. Ask panel members to plan to speak about how their
cultures define emotional situations (framing rules) and what displays of emotion are allowed, expected,
and disapproved in specific situations. Situations might be: marriages, funerals, death of a parent,
falling in love, grief.
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Media Resources
Web Sites
Name: Internet Acronyms Dictionary
Developer: gaarde.org
Name: Lyrics.com
Developer: Lyrics.com
Brief Description: This web site contains lyrics to popular songs organized by artist.
URL: http://www.lyrics.com
Film Ideas
Chasing Amy tells the story of an unconventional attraction between a woman who has been lesbian and
a heterosexual man. The film provides many examples of socially crafted rules and expectations for
what people should feel and how they should express feelings.
Print Resources
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel P. Goleman. This book was referenced in Chapter 7 of the textbook
and is another candidate for the popular press book analysis paper. What are the pros and cons of
measuring emotional intelligence? Does this fall prey to cultural biases in the same way intelligence
testing has been criticized?
Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life
by Paul Ekman, one of the pioneers in research on communicating emotions. Ekman argues that there
are some facial expressions and emotions that transcend culture that is, they are universal. In addition,
The Language of Emotions: What your feelings are trying to tell you by Karla McLaren. Most of us
relate to our emotions by either running from the difficult ones or clinging to the pleasant ones. Karla
McLaren suggests a radical new perspective: that all of our emotions are equally important messengers,
ready to assist us in acting with full awareness and integrity. What are your emotions telling you? How
can you express them most appropriately and effectively?
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Handout: Identifying Counterfeit Emotional Language
Read the following dialogue between a mother and son.
Identify any counterfeit emotional statements in the dialogue and propose alternatives to the counterfeit
communication.
Son: Mom, I really want to join the Delta Sigma house this spring.
Mother:
Son: Well, it really matters to me. These are neat guys and it would be a lot more fun living in
the house than in the dorm.