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CHAPTER
6
INTIMACY
WITHIN PARTNERSHIPS AND FAMILIES
KEY TERMS
Commitment Debriefing conversations
Family intimacy Forgiveness
ASSIGNMENTS/EXERCISES
1. Commitment Talk
Ask students to think about times when they have participated in commitment talk with
other people (i.e., family members, friends, romantic partners). Analyze those
commitment conversations using the following discussion questions:
ǦIn which of their relationships have these conversations occurred the most
frequently?
2. Self-Disclosure Styles
Ask students to rank themselves on a scale from 1-5 (1= low in self-disclosure (more
private), 5 = high in self-disclosure (more open)). Then, divide the class into groups
based upon their self-rankings. Ask students to discuss in their group how they feel
3. Parent-Child Disclosure
In class, ask students to predict how much their friends self-disclose to their parents.
Draw a graph on the board and ask them to predict, if they polled hundreds of their
4. Self-Disclosure: Backgrounds and Personal Preferences
Ask students to interview their nuclear family members about their self-disclosure
practices (How open or private do they feel they are? Under what conditions will they
5. Debriefing Behaviors and Self-Disclosure
Students should spend a week keeping track of the debriefing conversations they have,
how frequently and with whom. Ask them to reflect upon the purposes that each of
these debriefing conversations serve (catharsis? Relationship maintenance?) and then to
6. Sexual Communication
Have students poll their friends about the development of sexual communication within
their family system. Suggest that they use such questions as:
ǦWhat words were used in your family for the private parts of your body when
you were a child?
ǦHow did you learn where “babies come from“?
7. Cross Cultural Differences in Family Sex Talk
Ask students to interview someone who grew up in a different culture from their own
9. Forgiveness: A Process
Forgiveness is a topic that can generate quite a bit of discussion. Consider Doug
Kelley’s work on the forgiveness process to guide your discussion. In-class discussion
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MEDIA ILLUSTRATIONS
1. Comparing Intimacy Styles
There are many different ways in which intimacy plays out in relationships. Ask
students to think of two intimate relationships from the media that demonstrate intimacy
2. Sex Communication in the Media
Sex is everywhere in the media. Ask students to find one example of healthy sex
communication between partners or parent-child in a TV show or movie. How easy was
3. Comparing Own and Others’ Parent-Child Sex Talk Experiences
(Adapted from Amanda Holman, University of Nebraska-Lincoln)
When discussing sex communication in families, it is important to establish a validating
and open class atmosphere. The following activity encourages students to reflect upon
their own family’s sex communication, and how it relates to others’ and to depictions in