Communications Chapter 5 Homework While The Main Points Cover Essentially The

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PART FIVE

Speeches

for

Analysis

and Discussion

306 INTRODUCTORY SPEECHES FOR ANALYSIS AND DISCUSSION

Tap, Tap, Tap

Needs Improvement Version

1 Hi, everybody. These are my tap shoes. They’ve been very important in my life.

There’s no place I’d rather be than on the dance floor.

2 I started tap dancing when I was a little kid. My mom made me go, and I was

scared—too scared to even dance. But my mom kept making me go because she thought it

would be good for me. I guess she was right, because I grew to love it.

4 I also danced when I was in middle school—and I got better all the time. There’s this

one move called the pull back, and it’s really hard. I still remember how hard it was. I prac-

ticed it over and over again. I thought I’d never get it right. But then I started to get better at

it, until one day all the pieces came together. Sometimes I would pretend I was tapping with

Fred Astaire.

TAP, TAP, TAP: NEEDS IMPROVEMENT VERSION 307

Tap, Tap, Tap

Needs Improvement Version

Commentary

When shown in conjunction with the final version, the needs improvement version of “Tap, Tap, Tap” can

help students understand the difference between an ordinary speech and a superior one. Both versions

are available online and on the DVD of student speeches that accompanies this edition of The Art of

Public Speaking. Start by showing the needs improvement version and discussing what the speaker

could have done better. Then show the final version, printed on pages 309–310 of this manual, and dis-

cuss what the speaker did to improve. A synopsis of the needs improvement version follows.

Introduction: The introduction consists of paragraph 1. The speaker’s opening line (“Hi, everybody”) is

a bit casual, but it establishes a nice rapport with the audience and suggests that the speaker

has a certain comfort level with her listeners. The rest of the first paragraph avers the speaker’s

Body: Paragraphs 2–5 constitute the body of the speech. The main points in the body revolve around

the speaker’s growth as a tap dancer. While the main points cover essentially the same ground

as those in the final version of the speech, they are not developed as fully or coherently as in

the final version. In the needs improvement version, the first three main points fall into chrono-

logical order. The first (paragraph 2) discusses the speaker’s initial exposure to tap dancing. The

second (paragraph 3) states that she danced all the way through high school. The third (para-

graph 4) deals with how she improved as a dancer over the years. However, the fourth main

point (paragraph 5) does not follow the chronological structure of points 1–3. Instead, it states in

passing that public speaking is “a lot like tap dancing.” This is an interesting point—one that is

explored quite nicely in the final version. Here, however, it is an outlier that does not fit with the

chronological structure of the rest of the speech. All in all, there is a random quality to the body

of the needs improvement version that is not present in the final version.

308 INTRODUCTORY SPEECHES FOR ANALYSIS AND DISCUSSION

Conclusion: Paragraph 6 concludes the needs improvement version. The speaker cursorily reinforces

the central idea and signals that the speech is coming to an end. She accomplishes the minimum

needed for a speech conclusion, but she does not take steps to create a memorable ending.

Compared to the final version, this conclusion falls flat

Delivery: Because of her background as a tap dancer, the speaker has experience performing in front

of an audience. This experience is more evident, however, in the final version. Because the