POT, SOIL, WATER: NEEDS IMPROVEMENT VERSION 317
Pot, Soil, Water
Needs Improvement Version
1 So the assignment is to choose an object and talk about it and how it’s like us. So I chose
a plant from my dorm room. Anyway, it’s a lot like me because it has a pot and soil and water.
2 My family is really important to me and keeps me together. My mom and dad have a lot
of houseplants. They’re really great people. I can talk to them about anything—well, most things,
anyway.
318 INTRODUCTORY SPEECHES FOR ANALYSIS AND DISCUSSION
Pot, Soil, Water
Needs Improvement Version
Commentary
Showing sample speeches can be of great help to students as they work on their initial presentations.
This edition of The Art of Public Speaking offers both a needs improvement and a final version of “Pot,
Soil, Water,” a student speech of self-introduction based on a personal object. When showing the needs
improvement version, have students focus on the speaker’s organization, delivery, and development of
ideas. Follow with a brief class discussion about each of these aspects of the speech. Then show the final
version of the speech, which appears on page 320 of this manual. Again have students focus on the
speaker’s organization, delivery, and development of ideas. Follow with a class discussion that compares
and contrasts the two versions and explores why the final version is superior.
Both versions of the speech are available on the DVD of student speeches that accompanies this
edition of The Art of Public Speaking. Here is a synopsis of the needs improvement version.
Introduction: The introduction consists of paragraph 1. The opening line simply restates the assignment
and suggests that the speaker has not given a great deal of thought to how she will begin. That
perception is reinforced by the sickly looking plant from her dorm room, which gives the impres-
sion that she grabbed whatever was lying around for use in the speech. Her central idea—that
the plant is like her because it has a pot, soil, and water—is clearly stated and, as can be seen
from the final version, has promise. It would have been more effective here, however, if the
speaker had been more specific about the comparison before moving into the body of her
speech.
Body: Paragraphs 2–4 make up the body of the speech and revolve around the similarities between
the speaker’s life and the plant’s pot, soil, and water. Paragraph 2 says that the speaker’s par-
ents have helped keep her life together, but it does not state explicitly the comparison between
POT, SOIL, WATER: NEEDS IMPROVEMENT VERSION 319
Conclusion: The conclusion consists of the single sentence in paragraph 5. It lets the audience know
the speech is coming to an end, and it alludes to the central idea, but it does nothing to counter
the impression that the speaker needed to take the assignment more seriously and prepare
more thoroughly.