5.12 Document for Analysis: Weak E-Mail Message
Dangling modifiers: Sentences 3, 11, 17
Passive voice: Sentences 1, 4, 5, 11, 12, 13, 17
Fragments: Sentences 8, 14, 16
Suggested Revision
Dear Mr. Long:
1You probably chose 24-Hour Gym here in Seattle because it is one of the top-rated gyms in the
Northwest. 2Our principal goal has always been making your workouts productive. 3To continue
to provide you with the best equipment and programs, we need your feedback.
424-Hour Gym provides an outstanding program with quality equipment and excellent trainers.
5However, we could give more individual attention to our customers if we could extend our peak