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CHAPTER
5
RELATIONAL
MAINTENANCE WITHIN FAMILIES
Chapter 5 explores partner and family relational maintenance, discussing the concepts
of confirmation, rituals and relational currencies that maintain family ties. First focusing
on smaller family sub-units (partner/spouse relationships, parent-child relationships, and
sibling relationships), the chapter explores unique maintenance strategies within each
subunit. The second half of the chapter examines broader family relational maintenance
strategies, including whole family relational maintenance and intergenerational
relational maintenance strategies.
KEY TERMS
Acceptance Assurances
ASSIGNMENTS/EXERCISES
1. Discussion of Relational Effort
Discuss the role of effort in relationship maintenance. Some people insist: “If you have
to work at a relationship, there’s something wrong with it.” In your discussion examine
2. Sibling Relational Maintenance
Ask students to interview three friends who believe they have a satisfying sibling
relationship and discover which of Stafford and Canary’s five relational maintenance
3. Currency Survey
Ask students to interview two friends about the ways in which they learned to share
affection from each of their parents and grandparents. Have students describe each
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4. Rituals Brainstorm and Interviews
To illustrate the power of rituals in family relationships, you may lead a brainstorming
discussion with students, or assign for them to interview others about their experiences
with rituals in their families. Below are a few options for assignments/discussions to
these ends:
ǦRomantic relationship rituals: Have students interview a person in a romantic
relationship and ask him or her to describe three rituals that help to sustain their
ǦParent and child rituals: Using the categories developed by Bruess in her
research on rituals, brainstorm one or two examples that would fit into each
ǦStepfamily rituals: Brainstorm with a classmate a set of suggestions about the
use of rituals you would develop for persons who are creating a stepfamily. How
ǦOwn family rituals: Ask students to identify and reflect upon a ritual that they
created within a relationship (as opposed to one passed down to them through
family-of-origin, for example). How did the ritual become a ritual? Who made
5. Couple Interview
Have students interview couples who have been married for a long time and who appear
to have a very close relationship. Ask students to try to discover how the spouses have
remained “connected” to each other over the years and the role that communication has
played in that process. They can report the results of the interview to the class or may
6. Currency Exchange Rate
Ask students to rank their top two relational currencies in terms of which are most
meaningful to them personally (i.e. which two currencies make you feel the most
loved?) and the two that they consider least meaningful. Students should submit their
answers at the end of class. The next class period, create two frequency charts indicating
7. Social Networking
Sharing social networks can be an integral part of maintaining a relationship. As
students to debate the notion of whether social networking websites like Facebook and