Solutions – Chapter 4 ⚫ 1
CHAPTER 4 SOLUTIONS
Writing Improvement Exercises
Flabby Expressions (Obj. 1)
16. We are sending a revised proposal now because building costs have jumped considerably.
17. Normally, we would seek additional funding; however, because rates have increased, we
cannot.
Long Lead-Ins (Obj. 1)
21. All computer passwords must be changed every six months for security purposes.
22. All employees who want to apply for telecommuting may submit their applications
There is/are and It is/was Fillers (Obj. 1)
26. A password-checker is now available that can automatically evaluate the strength of your
password.
Redundancies (Obj. 1)
31. Because his laptop was small, he could carry it everywhere.
32. A fundamental of computer safety is to avoid storing your password in a file on your
Solutions – Chapter 4 ⚫ 2
Empty Words (Obj. 1)
36. Are you aware that social media can drive brand awareness and customer loyalty? OR:
Did you know that social media can drive brand awareness and customer loyalty?
Condensing for Microblogging (Obj. 1) Note: Answer may vary.
41. @HTWilson94 We strongly endorse Whole Trade–certified flowers and carry them year
round. Please check with your local store for selection. [138 characters]
Trite Business Phrases (Obj. 2)
47. As you request, I will submit your repair request immediately.
48. Enclosed is the list of customers to be used in our promotion.
Clichés, Slang, Buzzwords, and Wordiness (Obj. 2)
Note: Student responses may vary considerably from the suggested responses.
52. Our manager insists that we must think creatively in promoting our new kitchen tool.
53. Although we incurred a loss in the last contract, you can be sure we will be firm this time.
Buried Verbs (Obj. 2)
57. After investigating, the fire department concluded that the blaze was set intentionally.
Solutions – Chapter 4 ⚫ 3
Lists, Bullets, and Headings (Obj. 3)
63. Three Best Twitter Practices
You can build your online following, reputation, and customers’ trust with three simple
Twitter practices:
• Share. Share photos and behind-the-scenes information about your business.
• Listen. Regularly monitor the comments about your company, brand, and products.
• Respond. In real time respond to compliments and feedback.
64. Computer passwords are a way of life today. To create a strong password, follow these
steps:
65. In response to your inquiry about how to improve your credit score, four factors are
important:
• On-time payment history. One of the most important items lenders consider is
Solutions – Chapter 4 ⚫ 4
4.1 Radical Rewrite: Information E-Mail—Wretched Invitation
Weaknesses
a. Does not provide a helpful subject line.
b. Starts indirectly with an explanation instead of the main idea: scheduling interviews.
Revision
To: Department Managers
From: Aaron Alexander <aalexander@vasco.com>
Subject: Invitation to Help Interview Possible Interns
Cc:
Bcc:
You are invited to help us interview six excellent student candidates for three paid internships.
These potential interns from our local state university could bring fresh ideas and talent to your
projects.
The management council decided to offer paid internships because candidates in the fields of
computer science and information systems are usually offered compensation.
Please mark your calendars to meet at 2 p.m. on the following dates: