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CHAPTER
4
COMMUNICATION PATTERNS AND THE CREATION OF FAMILY
IDENTITY
Chapter 4 focuses on the formation of family identity through communication patterns,
specifically relational cultures, communication rules, family secrets, family stories and
networks. The chapter concludes with a consideration of narratives and the discussion
of narrative performance and its influence on identity within the family system.
KEY TERMS
Acceptance Assurances
Ceremonials Confirmation
ASSIGNMENTS/EXERCISES
1. Changing Family Rules
Ask students to get together with a partner. Each should generate two lists: a) One
2. Rule Brainstorm and Analysis
At the beginning of your discussion on rules, have students quickly brainstorm as many
family rules as possible. Have a student volunteer (or two) write them on the board.
Encourage them to generate a long list. Then, categorize each rule as either regulative or
constitutive. Ask them to account for:
ǦRegulative rules
oWhat could or could not be talked about?
3. Cross-Cultural Interview
Ask students to interview someone from a different ethnic background from their own.
Tell them to identify 3-4 differences in the ways you each learned to manage conflict or
5. Storytelling and Meaning
Have students get into small groups. Have two or three volunteers share a family story
that is retold frequently in their families. Such stories often are introduced by
6. Stories and Genealogies
Ask your students to create a “storyteller’s genealogy” for future generations. Rives
Collins writes about creating a genealogy for his daughter: “Personally, I never much
cared for ‘so and so begat so and so who begat so and so,’ ad infinitum. But my feelings
changed when my daughter was born, turning my world upside-down. I wrote a
storyteller’s genealogy for her—a piece that I can say at her bedside now that she is
small, and will use to teach her about her family when she grows older.” The format is
simple. Each phrase begins with “You are…”
You are the great, great granddaughter of a woman who relished the language of
Shakespeare, and who stood up to those who would censor the bawdy parts.
These are sample passages from Caitlin’s genealogy. The tone is poetic rather than
factual, and each phrase has a story behind it.
Collins, R. (1993). Storytelling: Water from another time. The Drama/Theatre Teacher,
5, 8.
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7. Family Networks
In small groups, ask students to brainstorm fictional families that embody the 4 different
types of family networks: chain, the Y, the wheel, and the all-channel. Using their
MEDIA ILLUSTRATIONS
1. Relational Culture Exercise
Ask students to identify a relationship in which they feel they have a relational culture.
Lead the class in a discussion about what helped them to distinguish the relationships in
2. How Wired Are You?
Have students keep a weekly log of how many times they communicate with family
members in a wired way: cell phone, text message, email, IM, Skype, Facebook,