55
Chapter 2: Communication and the Creation of Self
Key Concepts
anxious/ambivalent attachment style
attachment styles
cyberbullying
direct definition
dismissive attachment style
face
fearful attachment style
generalized other
identity script
impression management
Johari Window
particular others
reflected appraisal
secure attachment style
self
self-disclosure
self-fulfilling prophecy
self-sabotage
social comparison
Chapter Outline
I. The self arises in communication and is a multidimensional process of internalizing and
acting from social perspectives.
A. The self arise in communication with others. We develop notions of who we are
and are not in our interactions with others from the time we are born until the time
we die.
1. We internalize two kinds of perspectives that are communicated by
particular others and generalized others.
2. Particular others people who are significant to us.
a. Family members are generally the first influence on the
development of the self.
b. Later, peers, teachers, friends, coaches, romantic partners,
coworkers and others also influence how we see ourselves.
1. Particular others provide direct definitions by labeling us
and our behaviors.
3. Direct definitions and reflected appraisals affect our self-
4. Social comparison is the process of assessing ourselves in
5. Particular others also provide identity scripts that define our
B. Parents or primary care givers communicate who we are by how they interact with us, or
their attachment styles.
2. Fearful attachment style is cultivated when the caregiver in the first bond
communicates in negative, rejecting, or even abusive ways to the child.
4. Anxious/Ambivalent attachment style is the most complex and is fostered
by inconsistent treatment from the caregiver.
D. The generalized other reflects the views that others in a society generally hold.
1. Perspectives of the generalized other are communicated through the
2. Race, gender, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic class are prevalent
identifiers in Western culture.
4. Social views are not fixed once and for all. They are constructed in
57
5. Social views are also quite arbitrary, which can be seen when we consider
E.
stage.
1. We do this by presenting a face, which is the impression of self that we want
others to accept.
F. Social media is implicated in identity development and maintenance.
A. Direct definitions and reflected appraisals are often delivered through social media.
1. Social networks may also be used for cyberbullying messages and images
II. Guidelines for enriching the self.
A. We must make a firm commitment to personal growth.
B. We must gain and use knowledge to support personal growth.
a. The Johari window helps us identify the different sorts of knowledge that affect
self-development.
1. open information known both to us and to others
C. We should self-disclose when appropriate to get information about how others do
and might see us.
D. Rather than setting ourselves up for failure by attempting to make radical
changes, we need to set realistic goals with realistic standards.
D. We should seek contexts that support personal change.
a. self-sabotage a crippling kind of self-talk that involves telling ourselves we
are no good, we cannot change, etc.
58
Discussion Ideas
Johari Window: Recognizing the different window panes of the Johari window Have
students create their own personal Johari window and give an example of a statement that fits
Social Comparisons: Recognizing social comparisons On the day you are going to
discuss this topic, you will need some current newspapers, magazines, or television show
clips (you can collect them or ask students to each bring in one). Divide students into groups
Social Perspectives: Tracing changes in social perspectives Collect a set of magazines or
books from the 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, and 2000s. Ask students to generate a list of
Identity scripts: Identifying identity scripts Have students complete each of the following
statements as a springboard for discussing how our identity scripts are created and why some
types of scripts are similar while others are different. Another variation is to ask students
first to write out what they learned as a child and then go through them again writing out
what they have learned since high school. How and why do our identity scripts change over
time?
Money is
Nobody in our family has ever
You can/cannot trust others.
Self-fulfilling prophecy: Self-fulfilling prophecy is an important concept. Discuss an
example that you have encountered a self-fulfilling prophecy. Discuss how this was
59
facilitative or debilitative towards your goal. Do you think self-fulfilling prophecies can be
more beneficial than destructive or vice versa? Explain your answers.
New identities: Exploring new identities online Through the use of chat rooms, bulletin
boards, and MUDs (computer programs where users can log on and explore with a virtual
persona) over the internet, people can creatively explore new identities. For example, people
Activities
Title Individual Partner/
Ethno
Group Demonstration/
Whole Class
Internet
1. Others in Me X
3. Representing Me X-P
5. So, Are You Keeping Your Name X – P X – P
X = Marks type of activity H = Handout P = Preparation required for students/teacher
Others in Me
shaped their self-concepts.
Ask students to list five important positive qualities about themselves. Provide examples such as
these: ambitious, loyal, and helpful to others, smart, honest, or generous. When students have
60
Johari Window
This is a role-
communication affects self-concept and self-esteem.
Select four students for the demonstration. Either before class or by stepping outside of the room
during class, talk privately with the students about the role play. Assign each student one role of
either open, hidden, blind, unknown. It may be an actual or a fictional account. After discussing
Representing Me
This activity will help students understand themselves. This activity allows students to share
more information about themselves and learn about others in class.
A week before class, ask students to find pictures of celebrities that they: (1) truly admire, (2)
want to be like, (3) strongly dislike; and (4) feel like they are similar to.
Ask them to bring the pictures to class and explain why they picked each person for each
category. Some students may feel that the person they admire, want to be like, and are similar to
are the same person.
My Many Selves
In this activity students examine their multiple selves and explore how they present those
different selves in different contexts and relationships. This activity also allows students to share
information about themselves with the class and to learn more about their classmates.
61
One week before processing this activity in class, ask students to construct a collage divided into
four sections: physical self, emotional self, social self, and moral self. On the day students bring
So, Are You Keeping Your Name?
The purpose of this activity is to learn about decisions people made about their names when
getting married and their reasons for that decision. The names we are called affect how we see
ourselves and others. When two people marry, they are faced with a decision about whether or
not to keep or change their name.
In the class before this activity, have students first go to the following webpage
Next, have students ask their friends what they plan to do (if they intend to get married), what
decision they made (if they are already married), or what decisions people they know have made.
On the day of the activity, have students report their results from their informal polls of friends.
Journal Items
Read through a c
perspective. Focus on how media define desirable women and men. Analyze these messages
and discuss how you respond to them.
Responses will vary, especially depending on the magazine. For example, in fitness
magazines, being well-toned might be emphasized more for women, while being more
62
Describe different individuals in your life (including yourself) that you think is an example of
each of the attachment styles. Analyze why you feel that each person fits that attachment
style. Offer specific examples that indicate how their attachment style affects their
communication behavior.
Describe an instance in which you were each of the panes of Johari Window. Analyze why you
communicated differently in the different situations. What was it about the overall
communication systems that affected what you said, and how did your communication, in
turn, affect the relational systems within which it occurred?
Panel Idea
Invite individuals, students or not, from four different cultures to discuss how individuals are
viewed in their cultures. In advance, ask students to prepare questions for the panelists based on
Chapter 2 in the textbook. After panelists have been introduced and had the opportunity to make
opening statements, direct the discussion by asking questions such as these: Are individualism
and personal independence esteemed in your culture? How important is family to individual
identity in your culture? Are women and men regarded as equally individual by your culture (are
women the property of families or husbands)?
Media Resources
Web Sites
Name: Joining the Size Acceptance Revolution
Developer: National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance
Brief Description: This web- ealization of slenderness
URL: http://www.livinglifefully.com/self.html
Name: Name Changes
Developer: About.com
Brief Description: Offers various options for women regarding name changes when they marry.
It also includes an interactive poll with statistics about which choices people have made.
URL: http://careerplanning.about.com/library/weekly/aa020800a.htm?once=true&
Name: Personal Identity
Developer: Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy
Name: The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy
Developer: Carsten Korfmacher; Linacre College, Oxford University
Brief Description: The aim of this article is to (1) add precision to the problem of personal
identity, (2) state a number of theories of personal identity and give arguments for and against
Name: Personal Identity
Developer: Metaphysics by Default
Film Ideas
Bicentennial Man.
become fully human. What does it take to make someone fully human? Compare androids such
Star Trek: The Next Generation) with
Ramu, the wolf boy. Discuss: Is one more or less human than the other?
64
Print Resource
The Saturated Self: Dilemmas of Identity in Contemporary Life by Kenneth J. Gergen. In this
book, Gergen argues that continual exposure to a range ourselves and have
Honoring the Self: Self-Esteem and Personal Transformation by Nathaniel Branden