Communications Chapter 12 Homework I messages And Family Meetings2 Schools Communities Therapists And Some Governmental Agencies offer Services

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Chapter 12:

Family Communication and Well-Being

Chapter Preview

• Family Communication and Physical Well-Being

• Difficult Family Conversations About Modern Issues

Chapter Outline

I. Introduction

a. Change in relationships is more easily accomplished when members commit to an

alternative way of relating

relational change

b. Families range from severely dysfunctional to optimally functional

i. Few are optimally functional indefinitely due to tensions caused by

developmental or unpredictable stresses

ii. There are ways for families to remain functional over long periods

II. Family Communication and Physical Well-being

a. Mutual influence between health and family communication; individuals’ health,

illness, and (un)healthy behaviors have an impact on family members’

communication and vice versa

b. Family communication impacts health status

i. Married persons have less risky health behaviors and they benefit from

spousal support and companionship (husbands gain more benefit)

1. Wives’ greater attempt to manage their husbands’ health habits

2. Wives more likely to have larger support system than husbands

c. Communication influences health behaviors

i. Impacts health through communication about health-promoting behaviors

(e.g., nutrition, exercising) and health risk-reducing behaviors (e.g., quitting

smoking, practicing safe sex)

ii. Discussions and rules can change over time

1. “Abstinence rules” (no tolerance rules); may be most effective in

preventing substance abuse

2. “Contingency rules” (if-then rules)

3. Persuasive messages about health behaviors may increase after a

cancer diagnosis

iii. Communication patterns matter in influencing health

perhaps to avoid claims of favoritism from siblings

iv. Family health rules involve ongoing conversations (e.g., alcohol use)

1. Expressions of disapproval, warnings of dangers, health consequences

2. Constant communication about health habits can backfire

iv. Privacy issues emerge, especially between parents and adolescents

e. Illness can affect family communication

i. Alters content of conversations, communication rules, frequency of conflict

ii. Theory of health-related family quality of life: How information is

communicated affects health and well-being

1. When a member is diagnosed with an illness with potential long-term

survivorship, the entire family is affected

2. Multiple actors interact on the basis of established patterns of

functioning that are governed by rules, both explicit and implicit

iii. Helping kids make sense of illness is important; tailor to developmental stage

iv. Having family members offer supportive communication can lessen burden of

being ill; can also benefit relationships

1. Caregiving can be overwhelming, so must also seek support

2. Involves changing in roles; impacting the family system

3. Open and frequent communication is necessary

III. Difficult Family Conversations about Modern Issues

1. Proband is the first person to be diagnosed

2. Members of resilient families are more likely to get tested

iv. Disclosure

1. Proband may choose to disclose results of testing to encourage

relatives to get tested

2. Proband may avoid conversation, depending on six factors

(a) How feel about the role of informing relatives

3. Steps for probands communicating genetic risk

(a) Identify whom, how, and where to tell

(b) Find out how much members already know and want to know

(d) Refer family members to a genetic counselor

v. Discussion

1. Ongoing discussions are difficult and may not occur

2. Talking to children is especially difficult

3. Issues of privacy and conflict may arise

b. Money and financial stress affect communication

iii. Economic downturns influence families; challenging conversations emerge

1. Sending children to less expensive schools

2. Setting rules for young adults moving back home

3. Helping family members with debt

4. Cutting “extras”; closing credit cards, missing vacation

iv. Partner or parental unemployment frequently results in depression, role

anxiety, strained family relationships, and low self-esteem

1. Social networks change as resources diminish, altering social activities

and support

2. Economic stress raises tensions, leading to lower relational quality

3. Gender stress complicates the problem; losing/gaining roles

4. Increased conflict; decreased quality of parenting

i. Generational differences in the digital world

1. Digital natives: Continuously connected by technology; think and

process information differently because they are native speakers of

language of technology

2. Digital settlers: Grew up in an analog world; have become

sophisticated in their use of technology, but rely on analog

communication

ii. Negative impact

1. Moving into interpersonal world of being “alone together,” foregoing

benefits of direct human interaction and solitude

2. Risky online behaviors: disclosing personal information, meeting up

with acquaintances met online, sharing photos with strangers

3. Cyberbullying: Deliberate and repeated harm inflicted through phones

and computers

(a) Flaming: online fighting with angry language

(b) Harassment: repeatedly sending nasty and insulting messages

4. Sexting: electronically sending, receiving or forwarding messages or

photographs that are sexually explicit

(a) Causes emotional pain, may be a cause of suicide for a few

young people, and has legal consequences

(b) Adolescents’ and young adults’ sexting behavior is related to

sexual, substance use, and emotional health behaviors

IV. Approaches for Improving Family Communication

a. Personal approaches

i. Personal education

1. Self-help books, videos, websites

2. Family communication course

ii. Engaging in conscious negotiation with partners or family members

iii. Establishing ongoing time commitments with family members

1. Institute “couple time” or “family meetings” to discuss and address

concerns or problems

iv. Obtaining support from friends or networks

1. Informal support networks, such as friends or members of a faith

community, provide adequate support for some families

2. People are developing voluntary or chosen families

b. Instructional approaches

i. Marital enrichment programs; education, not counseling

1. Marriage Encounter, Prevention and Relationship Enhancement

Program (PREP), and PREPARE/ENRICH, Gottman Institute

ii. Family life education: Activities designed to strengthen relationships in the

home and foster positive, individual, couple and family development

1. Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP); focuses on active

listening, I-messages, and family meetings

2. Schools, communities, therapists, and some governmental agencies

offer services; in-person and online

iii. Military family education interventions

1. Families Overcoming Under Stress (FOCUS) offers education and

skills training with goals of enhancing coping

2. After Deployment, Adaptive Parenting Tools (ADAPT) helps build

V. Final Thoughts on Family Communication

a. There is no one “right way” to be a family

b. Characteristics of functional families (reverses Henry’s dysfunctional characteristics)

c. Patterns of untroubled and nurturing families

i. Self worth is high

ii. Communication is clear, direct, specific, honest

iii. Rules are flexible, human, appropriate, and subject to change

iv. Linking to society is open and hopeful

d. Well-functioning families must be understood within cultural and structural contexts

e. Authors conclusions about functional families

i. Meaningful family connections require consistent nurturing

ii. Families profit from taking time to ask “How are we doing as a family?” and

“How can we improve our communication?”

VI. Discussion Questions

a. What are three effective ways for family members to influence each other’s health?

What are some ineffective ways?

b. How would you describe communication in a well-functioning family? Answer

within a context of a specific developmental stage, culture, and family form (e.g., a

two-parent, Chinese family with adolescents).

c. What goals and criteria would you establish for a successful marriage or family

enrichment program with a communication focus? Briefly describe the audience you

envision (e.g., a stepfamily with school-aged children)

VII. Case Study Questions

a. In the opening vignette about Drew, do you think his decision to avoid sharing his

hemochromatosis diagnosis with his siblings was appropriate or irresponsible? Why

do you think he hesitated to tell his family about his condition? If you were in his

situation, what would you do?

b. In “Frustrated by Routine,” what approaches to improving family communication did

Dante and Angeli take? What aspects of these approaches do you think were

particularly helpful? What do you think they need to consider moving forward in

order to maintain functionality?

Activities

Technology and Well-being: Watch Dr. Turkle’s TedTalk (2011): Alone together: Why we

Functional Family Description: Have students develop their own descriptions of a functional or

healthy family with an emphasis on the communication that characterizes such a family. Ask

them to compare these statements with their initial images at the beginning of the course.

Encourage them to share these beliefs in a large or small group setting. You may wish to do this

before they read Chapter 12 so that their ideas reflect their own thinking.

Think Pair Share: Working together supports the active engagement of students in the learning

Guest Speakers: Encourage students to come prepared with 2-3 questions for the speakers.

Option 1: Invite a guest speaker or couple from one of the local marriage/family enrichment

programs to discuss the goals, methods, and effects of that program as it relates to changing

Option 3: Ask a leader or member of a campus or community support group to talk to the class

about how the group process operates and how the discussion experiences can aid members to

develop or strengthen their relationships. You may ask them to focus on issues of confidentiality,

anonymity, sponsorship, outside the group contacts, and function. Try to find groups that would

have a focus on developing familial relationships as part of their mission.

Cultural Analysis: Based on personal experience and/or readings on family life among various

cultures represented in the U.S. population, have students write a final reflection (journal or

essay) on how characteristics of functional families may be different across cultures. Encourage

students to also use the cultural analysis interviews they conducted through the semester to

inform their perspective.

Health Information—The Disclosure Trail: Ask students to draw a flow chart of how people

would be informed of illness in their family. Starting with themselves, if they were diagnosed

with a serious illness, to whom in their family would they disclose? Who would they rely upon to

tell others? Who would be left out of the information completely? And, if this illness was

genetic, would the flow chart look any different? Why or why not? What does this information

tell them about how easily their family is able to communicate about health and illness?

Genetic Heritage and Family Risk: Ask students to think about how much they know about

Wrap-Up and Reflection: Go around the room and ask students to talk about one thing they

learned from the class that they think will stick with them long after the class ends. Why did this

topic resonate so much with them? How did it help them better understand family

communication? How will they share it with others, or use it to improve their relationships?