DeVito Interpersonal Messages, 4e Instructor’s Manual
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Chapter 7: Emotional Messages
Chapter Overview
This chapter explores the nature and principles of emotions in interpersonal
communication, the obstacles to meaningful emotional communication, and some
guidelines that will help you communicate your feelings and respond to the feelings of
others more effectively.
Emotion—the feelings you have—and emotional expressions are influenced by a variety
Cultural and gender display rules identify what emotions may be expressed, and where,
how, and by whom. Emotions are influential, as in emotional contagion and emotional
persuasion.
The three major obstacles to communicating emotions are: (1) societal rules and
customs, (2) fear of appearing weak or powerless, and (3) not knowing how to express
emotions.
To help make your emotional expression more meaningful and to demonstrate
Chapter Objectives
1. Explain the ten principles of emotions and emotional messages.
2. Describe the three obstacles to communicating emotions and combat these in your
own emotional communication.
Student Objectives
Content Objectives:
To understand the process of conversation
To explain the principles for satisfying conversation
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To recognize the special principles which apply to emotional conversations
Skills Objectives:
Skills Evaluation
1. Objective: To open, maintain, and close conversations more effectively.
2. Objective: To open, maintain, and close conversations more effectively. Use
the following issues as problems for students to initiate, maintain, and close in a
conversation:
(a) Request a recommendation for a job from an employer who is known for being
strongly opinionated, and you want to first learn his opinion of you.
(b) To inform a faculty member that you will not be a lab assistant next year,
although you accepted the position a month ago and it is late in the year for the
instructor to find another applicant.
(c) To return a large-ticket item for which you have no receipt.
(d) To explain to someone you asked for a date on Saturday that you forgot about
(g) To explain to your apartment mate that you just totaled his car.
(h) To clarify with your realtor that you want a French country style home, after
having been shown modern, craftsman style, and Greek revival style houses.
(i) To explain to your Japanese host that you cannot eat sushi made with raw fish.
3. Objective: To communicate your feelings and respond to the feelings of others
more effectively. Have pairs of students identify 3-4 scenarios where the individuals’
feelings are of particular importance/priority. Students should list possible statements
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4. Objective: To communicate your feelings and respond to the feelings of others
more effectively. Students role-play situations with apparent conflicts due to limited
Chapter Outline
I. Principles of Emotions and Emotional Messages
A. Emotional Arousal Is a Multi-Step Process
2. Cognitive labeling theory
B. Emotions May Be Primary or Blended
C. Emotions Involve Both Body and Mind
D. Emotions Are Influenced by a Variety of Factors
1. Culture
3. Personality
4. Relationships
E. Emotions May be Adaptive and Maladaptive
F. Emotional Expression Uses Multiple Channels
G. Emotional Expression Is Governed by Display Rules
H. Emotions Can Be Used Strategically
I. Emotions Have Consequences
J. Emotions are Contagious
II. Obstacles to Communicating Emotions
A. Social and Cultural Customs
B. Inadequate Interpersonal Skills
III. Emotional Competence
A. Emotional Understanding
B. Emotional Expression
Teaching Strategies
Emotions. Refer to the Interpersonal Choice Point “Responding to Betrayal” in
the chapter to challenge students to formulate appropriate conversational
messages.
What Can You Say? Role-play the Skill Building Exercise “Responding to
Emotions” at the end of the chapter, carefully fulfilling the three requirements for
appropriate responses as given in the exercise.
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Vignette
A young wife leaves her house one morning to draw water from the local well; while her
husband watches from the porch. As she walks back from the well, a stranger stops her
and asks for some water. She gives him a cupful, then invites him home to dinner. He
accepts. The husband, wife, and guest have a pleasant meal together. The husband, in
a gesture of hospitality, invites the guest to spend the night—with his wife. The guest
accepts. In the morning the husband leaves early to bring home breakfast. When he
returns, he finds his wife again in bed with the visitor.
The question is: At what point in this story does the husband feel angry?
The answer is: It depends on the culture to which you belong (Hupka, 1981). In the
United States, a husband would feel rather angry at a wife who slept with a stranger;
and a wife would feel rather angry at being offered to a guest as if she were a lamb
chop. But these reactions are not universal.
A Pawnee Indian husband of the nineteenth century would have been enraged at
any man who dared to ask his wife for water.
An Ammassalik Eskimo husband finds it perfectly honorable to offer his wife to a
Comments: This report by Carole Wade and Carol Tavris (1998) illustrates that the
emotions you feel depend, in part at least, on your culture. It’s useful for introducing the
Activities for Student-Based Learning
Emotions in Song
The purpose of this activity is to analyze how emotions and emotional expression are
portrayed in popular culture, especially in songs.
In class, put students into groups of 4-5. Make a list of the key concepts from the class on
emotions, such as feeling and framing rules, obstacles to effective communication of emotion,
influences on emotions, etc. Ask the students to identify which concepts of emotion each song
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illustrates. Explain that if a song does not match up with a particular concept from the book,
then the students can generate their own categories that encapsulate the key point(s) of the
song.
News Stories
After reading the chapter, ask students to review local or national newspapers. Then,
have them select an article of particular interest that contains information causing them
to have an emotional response. Basic emotions include, joy, trust, fear, surprise,
sadness, disgust, anger, and anticipation. As a class, discuss the language choices in
the article. Have other students identify if they also felt the same the emotion or if it
created a different emotional response, and if so, what it was.
Emoticons?
Emoticons are graphical ways of representing emotions and other nonverbal features in
computer mediated communication (CMC). Ask students to identify the emoticons they