DeVito Interpersonal Messages, 4e Instructor’s Manual
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Chapter 5: Verbal Messages
Chapter Overview
This chapter looks at verbal messages: the nature of language and the ways in which it
works; the concept of disconfirmation and how it relates to racism, heterosexism,
ageism, and sexist language, and the ways in which you can use verbal messages
more effectively.
The principles of verbal messages include: (1) message meanings are in people, (2)
messages are both denotative and connotative and communicate objective meanings
as well as attitudes and values, (3) messages may be onymous or anonymous, (4)
messages vary in abstraction, (5) messages vary in politeness, (6) messages vary in
immediacy, (7) messages can deceive, and (8) messages vary in assertiveness.
Disconfirmation is a communication pattern in which you ignore someone’s presence as
well as that person’s communications. Confirmation means acknowledging the
presence of another person, and indicating your acceptance of this person, of his or her
Chapter Objectives
1. Paraphrase the eight principles of verbal messages.
3. Explain the ways in which language can distort thinking and apply the guidelines for
communicating more logically.
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Student Objectives
Content Objectives:
To explain the eight principles of verbal messages
To recognize how verbal messages communicate sexism, heterosexism, racism, and
ageism
Skills Objectives:
To communicate your meanings in the way you intend
Skills Evaluation
1. Objective: To communicate your meanings in the way you intend. Role-play
2. Objective: To communicate your meanings in the way you intend. Give
students (in groups of three) highly abstract statements. Each student should
summarize the extent to which he agrees or disagrees with the statement. The
group then discusses and decides what meanings can be held for the statement and
why. Students should use concrete examples to support the different meanings they
derive from the discussion. Evaluate on the basis of recognizing different meanings
and being able to concretely support those meanings, and recognize the validity of
them for some people.
Examples:
It is better to try something new than to stick with the tried and true.
The generation gap is widening.
People who speak only one language cannot fully appreciate another culture.
Stereotypes exist because they are so often true of a group.
Honesty is always the best policy.
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3. Objective: To regulate your verbal messages to avoid sexism, heterosexism,
racism, and ageism. Role-play employment interviews for a teaching position at a
4. Objective: To communicate your meanings in the way you intend. Teams of two
students (authors) write brief dialogues in which “errors” of intensional orientation,
allness, indiscrimination, polarization, and static evaluation are committed.
Students then exchange dialogues with another team (critics) who identify and label
each error. Another team (editors) rewrites the dialogue to correct or avoid each
Chapter Outline
I. Principles of Verbal Messages
A. Message Meanings Are in People
B. Meanings Are Denotative and Connotative
C. Messages Can Be Onymous or Anonymous
D. Message Meanings Vary in Abstraction
II. Confirmation and Disconfirmation
A. Racism
B. Heterosexism
C. Ageism
D. Sexism
E. Cultural Identifiers
1. Race and nationality
3. Age and sex
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III. Guidelines for Using Verbal Messages Effectively
A. Extensionalize: Avoid Intensional Orientation
B. Recognize Complexity Avoid Allness
C. Distinguish Between Facts and Inferences: Avoid Fact-Inference Confusion
Teaching Strategies
Polarization. Ask students to describe the opposite and then a middle term for
hot, good-looking, tall, and smart. Note that the middle terms are often generic,
and that less extreme terms “tug” toward one of the extremes. That is, warm is
not extreme, but it is closer to hot than to cold.
Static evaluation. Have students describe how they saw themselves in middle–
or high school. Ask if that is the way they are now. What experiences have they
had that emphasize those changes? Examples: being interviewed by someone
Terms that confuse. Read a list of words to students who, in turn, will write brief
definitions. Discuss their meanings for the terms afterwards. Terms: tree, bush,
fire, runner, hose, water, oysters, vomit, gray, aglet. Which terms are
ambiguous? Do they evoke strong connotative meanings or depend strongly
upon contexts and experiences? Are they unfamiliar?
Discrimination against and indiscrimination. Lead a class discussion about
the difference between discriminating among and discriminating against. Can
discriminating between or among lead to discriminating against at times? Must it?
Assign students to categories that are commonly discriminated against, using
these categories: Martians (racism), Elders (ageism), and Blondes (sexism and
heterosexism). Each person should wear a label to indicate his or her group.
Assertiveness. Develop several role-playing situations for students to act out
using nonassertive, then aggressive, and finally, assertive responses. Allow
discussion of the comfort and satisfaction with each response. For those who are
often aggressive, discuss outcomes and create plans for lowering the number of
aggressive responses. Recognize that aggressive responses often get
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Vignette
This example illustrates how different people use words differently, a simple principle
that seems forgotten most of the time.
On the second night of their honeymoon, a newly married husband and wife are sitting
at a hotel bar. The woman strikes up a conversation with the couple next to her. The
husband refuses to communicate with the couple and becomes antagonistic toward his
wife and the couple. The wife then grows angry because he has created such an
awkward and unpleasant situation. Each becomes increasingly disturbed, and the
evening ends in a bitter conflict, each spouse convinced of the other’s lack of
consideration. Eight years later, the couple analyzes this argument. Apparently the word
Comments: This example—taken from Ronald D. Laing, H. Phillipson, and A. Russell
Lee in Interpersonal Perception (1966; also Watzlawick, 1977)—illustrates the confusion
that can result when you look for meaning in the words and not in the person. This
confusion is one of the ways that verbal messages, the topic of this chapter/this class,
can fail to communicate their intended meaning.
Activities for Student-Based Learning
Back Then
Students may not realize how language changes over time. Ask students to find old
newspaper articles or video clips on the Internet. Then, ask the students how meanings
of words have changed over the years. If possible, ask students to interview people of
different ages (e.g., a senior citizen, a child, someone slightly older) a week before you
discuss the topic, by asking them to define a select group of words. For instance, if you
thought someone was attractive, what word did you use? If you had a steady romantic
relationship, what word did you use? If you thought someone was weird, what word
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Sexist Language
Sometimes students do not realize that language can be very subjective. Ask students
to list occupations that were typically male or female in the past and have now changed
Verbal Messages in Newspaper and Journal Articles
Have students select a recent article (not more than two months old) from a newspaper
or a journal (no blogs) related to their study program areas (i.e., nursing, marketing,
welding). Be sure they include the dates the articles were published and the names of
authors. The goal is to have them identify verbal message components within their
selected articles. Have students write a paper that contains the following information:
Summarize key points from the article in a succinct manner