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Chapter 3: Perception of Self and Others
Chapter Overview
This chapter explores perception and the self in interpersonal communication, looking
first at self-concept, self-awareness, and self-esteem. Perception in interpersonal
communication is also explored, along with impression formation, and impression
management and its goals and strategies.
Self-concept is the image that you have of yourself. It consists of your feelings and
thoughts about your strengths and weaknesses, your abilities and limitations, and your
aspirations and world view. Your self-concept develops from at least four sources: (1)
the image of you that others have and that they reveal to you, (2) the comparisons you
make between yourself and others, (3) the teachings of your culture, and (4) the way
you interpret and evaluate your own thoughts and behaviors. Social networking sites
have added another dimension to this evaluation.
The four selves are the open self (what we and others know about us), the blind self
We may increase self-awareness by asking ourselves about ourselves, listening to
others, seeking information about ourselves, seeing ourselves from different
perspectives, and increasing our open selves.
Self-esteem is a measure of how valuable you think you are. Research differs on the
value of self-esteem.
This chapter discusses how perception works, the processes that influence perception,
and how you can make your perceptions more accurate.
Perception is the process by which you become aware of objects, events, and
especially people through your senses: sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing. It occurs
in five stages: (1) stimulation, (2) organization, (3) interpretation-evaluation, (4) memory,
and (5) recall.
Processes that influence perception include: (1) self-fulfilling prophecy, (2) personality
theory, (3) perceptual accentuation (4) primacy-recency, (5) consistency, and (6)
attribution of control.
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Personality theory is the system of rules that tells you which characteristics go with
which other characteristics. In other words, you expect certain qualities to go with other
qualities.
Perceptual accentuation leads to perceive what you need or want to perceive rather
than what is really there, and to fail to perceive what you don’t want to perceive.
Consistency is the tendency to maintain balance among perceptions or attitudes.
Attribution of control is the process through which you try to understand the behaviors of
others (and your own, in self-attribution) – particularly the reasons or motivations for
these behaviors. Perceptions of controllability often influence attributions. Errors of
attribution include the self-serving bias, overattribution, and the fundamental attribution
error.
To increase the accuracy of your interpersonal perceptions: (1) critically analyze your
impressions, formulate hypotheses rather than conclusions, look for a variety of cues
Chapter Objectives
1. Define self-concept, self-awareness, and self-esteem, and apply the suggestions for
increasing self-awareness and self-esteem.
3. Define the six factors that influence interpersonal perception, and apply the
suggestions for increasing accuracy in your own interpersonal perception.
4. Explain and give examples of the eight strategies of impression management.
DeVito Interpersonal Messages, 4e Instructor’s Manual
Student Objectives
Content Objectives:
To differentiate self-concept, self-awareness, and self-esteem
To recognize the purposes for and appropriate types of self-disclosure
To understand how fear functions in communication
Skills Objectives:
To clarify your self-concept, and increase your self-awareness and self-esteem
Skills Evaluation
1. Objective: To clarify your self-concept and increase your self-awareness.
2. Objective: To clarify your self-concept and increase your self-awareness.
Students should complete a Johari window, filling in categorical information with
several specific examples for open self and for hidden self. A student may write in
3. Objective: To increase your self-awareness and self-esteem. Students who
perceive themselves as being shy or having relatively low self-esteem should keep a
4. Objective: To avoid common errors that people make when they perceive
5. Objective: To avoid common errors that people make when they perceive
people and messages. In pairs, students will role-play a discussion about the
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6. Objective: To use a variety of strategies to increase your own accuracy in
7. Objective: To use a variety of strategies to increase your own accuracy in
perceiving other people and their messages. Small groups of students can
discuss a variety of topics as assigned by the instructor. Students should number off
in each group. The instructor will direct, “Students #1 will visit the group to their
Chapter Outline
I. The Self in Interpersonal Communication
A. Self-Concept
2. Comparisons with others
4. Self-evaluations
B. Self-Awareness
1. Your four selves
C. Growing in Self-Awareness
1. As yourself about yourself
3. Actively seek information about yourself
5. Increase your open self
D. Self-Esteem
2. Beware the imposter phenomenon
4. Work on projects that will result in success
6. Secure affirmation
II. Perception in Interpersonal Communication
A. Stage One: Stimulation
B. Stage Two: Organization
C. Stage Three: Interpretation-Evaluation
D. Stage Four: Memory
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E. Stage Five: Recall
III. Impression Formation
A. Impression Formation Processes
1. Self-fulfilling prophecy
3. Perceptual accentuation
5. Consistency
6. Attribution of control
B. Increasing Accuracy in Impression Formation
1. Analyze your impressions
a. Recognize your own role in perception
b. Avoid early conclusions
2. Reduce your uncertainty
a. Observe
3. Check your perceptions
4. Increase cultural sensitivity
IV. Impression Management
A. To Be Liked: Affinity-Seeking and Politeness Strategies
1. Affinity-seeking strategies
2. Politeness strategies
a. Positive face
b. Negative face
B. To Be Believed: Credibility Strategies
C. To Excuse Failure: Self-Handicapping Strategies
D. To Secure Help: Self Deprecating Strategies
F. To Be Followed: Influencing Strategies
G. To Confirm Self-Image: Image-Confirming Strategies
Teaching Strategies
Compliments require skillfulness both to give and to receive. Groups of
approximately 12 students are effective for this activity. The instructor should
participate with each group; therefore, alternate activities should be available for
other class members.
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Each group member writes two compliments for each of the other group
members. They do not have to know one another well to do this. The
compliments may be about comments made during class, the individual’s
appearance, a kind act they received from the person, or a perceived personality
trait. Students should be encouraged to be specific in their compliments and, if it
pertains, the effect on the compliment giver. For instance, “When you asked the
Online versions and standardized printed versions of the Johari window allow
students to further explore aspects of self and to get a relative comparison of
open self.
Perceptual Processes. Handout the Perception Matrix Worksheet to students.
Invite three “strangers” to class. (Examples: a young instructor, an older student,
a business person, a technical person, a top scholarship student.) Warmly greet
one of the people with a hug or hearty handshake. Introduce each person by his
or her first name only, giving no further information.
Have students fill out column “A” according to their first impressions. Allow
students to interact with the people for five or ten minutes (instruct the strangers
The Stages of Perception. With their eyes closed, students should mentally
note their answers to several questions you ask about their class and
classroom’s physical presence. Examples would be, “What color is the door? Is
there a clock in the room? Who in the room is wearing a red hat? How many
females are in the class? What color is your chair? Are all the lights in the room
operational or do some flicker? What is the temperature of the room? Is anyone
absent, if so, who? What is the composition of the floor? Who is wearing a
wedding ring?”
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After they open their eyes and check their accuracy, lead a discussion about the
barrage of sensory data from which we must select a limited amount for
processing. What factors caused you to select what you did? Why did you ignore
other items?
Misperceived, Corrected. Tell a story about a time you were perceived
inaccurately and unfairly treated as a result. Tell how you corrected the
Attribution and Consistency. Refer to Perception Matrix Worksheet, and
have the students analyze the information using attribution and consistency
processes.
Perception Checking. First, think of perception checking as a three-part skill: (1)
reporting data your senses pick up, (2) tentatively stating interpretation–
evaluations, and (3) soliciting feedback.
Work through the following three situations by: (1) explaining how the first two
parts often are intertwined during a conversation, (2) defining the advantages of
dividing these parts in these example situations, and (3) emphasizing the
difference between data obtained by your senses, and (4) the importance of
communicating tentativeness when stating interpretations. Remind students that
perception checking is not supposed to judge or solve the implied problem. It is
for the purpose of gaining clarity.
1. Your supervisor at the restaurant where you work part-time as a server posts
2. After denying your brother the use of your car for the weekend, he complains
to you, “Hey, you have to work this weekend, you know, and I can drop you
off and pick you up at work. Why are you being so selfish and protective of
that old car?”
3. Company XYZ’s human resources director, following an interview you had
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Vignette
This fable is a perfect example of the process of social comparison, a way of gaining
insight into self-concept and increasing self-awareness—some of the topics covered in
this chapter.
Aesop, the great writer of fables, tells the story of Mercury, one of the gods of ancient
Rome. Although only a lesser god, Mercury aspired to be more, so one day, disguised
as an ordinary man, he entered a sculptor’s studio, where he saw statues of the gods
and goddesses for sale. Eyeing a statue of Jupiter, one of the major gods, Mercury
asked the price. “A crown,” the sculptor said. Mercury laughed, for he thought that was
Comments: It’s easy to see that Mercury was trying to estimate his own value relative to
the other gods, something we all do but often fail to realize.
The following Aesop’s fable of the chrysalis and the ant is a perfect example of the
dangers of first impressions, one of the major principles to learn from the discussion of
perception in interpersonal communication.
An ant in search of food came across a chrysalis, a butterfly in the pupa stage that was
very close to changing into a butterfly. “What a poor, pitiful animal you are,” said the ant.
“I can walk and run as I please; I can climb the tallest tree. But you are here imprisoned
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Activities for Student-Based Learning
My Classmate
Have students divide into pairs. Each pair needs to make assumptions about their
partners. Without talking, have each student take out a sheet of paper and write down
the types of things their partners like and dislike. Have the class decide what they would
like to predict about their partners. For instance, they might predict the following:
favorite cookie; favorite Muppet/cartoon character; favorite restaurant; favorite pizza
topping; favorite place to rest; pet peeve, what food they hate to eat; worst sundae
topping; what they dislike about school; holiday they dislike the most.
After students have made their assumptions about their partners, give them a few
minutes to exchange their papers and see if their perceptions were correct. Talk about
how perception can influence thoughts and behaviors. Discuss why partners chose the
answers they did. How does the perceptual process affect our cognitive processes of
others?
Myers Briggs
Have students review the descriptions for their personality types. Type a paper to
respond to the following questions:
1. What is your Myers Briggs type?
2. What are characteristics of this type?
3. Do you believe you fit the type? Why or why not? Provide specific examples from
your life to support your responses.
Representing the Self
To help students understand more about the self and their self-concept, ask students to
find pictures of celebrities/people whom they: (1) truly admire, (2) want to be like, (3)
hate, (4) and feel similar to.
Ask them to bring the pictures to class and explain why they picked each person for
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Ask students to vote whether each person is similar to the person they think is similar to
them.
Discuss the ways that we think we are presenting ourselves to others is completely
different from how others perceive us. Help students understand their differences for
hating the celebrity they picked. Are there ways to deal with someone who has the
hated characteristics?
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Student Name: ______________________ Class Section: __________ Date: _______
Perception Matrix Worksheet
Stranger
A. Interpretation-
evaluation on first
impression
B. Interpretation-
evaluation upon
further observation
C. More informed
interpretation-
evaluation
Values
1.
Age
Occupation
Political preference
Hobby
Values
2.
Age
Occupation
Hobby
Values
3.
Age