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Chapter 10: Writing Persuasive Messages and Proposals
Power Charge Your Professionalism: Make Logical Comparisons
When making comparisons in your writing, be sure they are logically worded. Keep these points in
mind:
Be sure your comparison is complete. If you use a word like “more,” “faster,” or “easiest,” be sure to say
or clearly imply the rest of the comparison (“more” or “faster” than what? “easiest” out of what group of
things?).
Be sure your comparison is logical. Things being compared must be the same kinds of things. Consider
this sentence: “Unlike Gap’s Facebook page, Coldwater Creek uses models of many different ages.” It
Assess the comparisons in the following sentences. If the sentence contains a comparison error, correct
it. If you think the sentence can be left as is, explain why.
6. Our technicians and service managers are the most honest and ethical auto-repair shop in the
8. We will need more donations to be able to create the child care center.
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Critical-Thinking Questions
1. Explain why a persuasive request is usually written in the indirect order. In what kinds of
situations might the direct order be appropriate? (LO2)
2. What does it mean to use the you-viewpoint in persuasive requests and sales messages? (LO2,
LO5)
3. Compare persuasive requests and sales messages. What traits do they share? Can you point
to some general differences? (LO2, LO5)
4. Consider ads that you have seen on television, in magazines, or on the Internet. Which ones
rely heavily on emotional appeals? Which on logical appeals? Which on character-based
appeals? Do the chosen appeals seem appropriate given the product, service, or cause that is
being promoted? (LO1, LO5)
5. Think of or find a television, radio, print, email, or web-based sales message or persuasive
request that you regard as especially effective. Explain why you think it was well designed.
(LO2, LO5)
6. What appeals would be appropriate for the following products when they are being sold to
consumers? How might the appeals differ depending on the age and/or gender of the target
audience? (LO1, LO4)
7. Assume that you’re preparing a sales mailing that won’t use the reader’s name. Would you
still use a salutation (e.g., “Dear Neighbor”)? If so, what would you use? If not how would the
message begin? (LO5)
8. “Any fundraising or sales message that is longer than a page won’t be read.” Discuss this
statement. (LO5)
9. If you were helping to design an email message to sell solar panels, would you include visual
elements? If so, what kind? If not, why not? (LO5)
This is a tough question. Evaluate each student’s answer based on the concepts and advice in this
chapter. If research has shown that one vivid picture or story can sway a reader more than statistics,
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10. Discuss the relationship between the main sales message and its accompanying support
information in an example you’ve seen. What was the purpose of each piece? (LO4, LO5,
LO6)
All the parts should be coordinated to produce a comprehensive sales effort. The sales message
11. Examine the call for action in a persuasive request or sales message you’ve received. Do you
think it would get results? Why or why not? (LO2, LO5)
12. Think of a sample persuasive request or sales message that you regard as ethically
questionable. Discuss the nature of the ethical problems. (LO3)
13. Many fundraising messages show pictures of children in poverty or with obvious health
problems. In what way can the use of such emotional visuals be justified? In what way might
they be ethically questionable? (LO3)
14. Both fundraising and sales mailings are often “signed” with a signature that looks
handwritten. Sometimes there even appear to be handwritten personal notes in the mailings.
What do you think of this practice? Does it add to the messages’ effectiveness? Could it be
considered ethically shady? (LO1–LO5)
15. For what kinds of situations would you prepare email sales messages that have a fair amount
of text versus messages that are almost all graphics? Why? (LO5, LO6)
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Chapter 10: Writing Persuasive Messages and Proposals
Copyright © 2018 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved.
No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
Messages with a fair amount of text might be needed for clients that you are already doing business
with, or to explain complex services, or when you know the readers are accustomed to reading a lot
of text.
16. How does the need to be persuasive make a proposal different from a report? (LO7)
17. Discuss the differences between solicited and unsolicited proposals. (LO7)
Solicited proposals are invited via RFPs or notices of available grant money. They can therefore
18. For what kinds of situations might you select email format for your proposal? Letter format?
A longer, reportlike format? (LO7)
Certainly, short internal proposals can use email format. Longer internal proposals for high-ranking
19. “I don’t need to discuss my readers’ needs in my proposal. They know what their needs are
and don’t want to waste time reading about them.” Discuss. (LO7)
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Chapter 10: Writing Persuasive Messages and Proposals
Skills-Building Exercises
1. Assume that, as a volunteer for a nonprofit organization in your town, you have been asked
to write the next fundraising letter for the organization. In what ways might you gather
enough information about the intended readers to write a successful message? (LO1, LO2)
2. List the tangible and intangible benefits that you might describe when promoting the
following items or services: (LO1)
a. Membership in a health club
b. High-speed Internet service or digital cable service
c. A certain line of clothing
d. Car insurance
a. Membership in a health club
Tangible: get a good workout for your money, can use the most up-to-date and effective
b. High-speed Internet service or digital cable service
c. A certain line of clothing
d. Car insurance
3. List some added-on benefits you might use as an extra push if you were promoting the items
in exercise 2. (LO1)
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Chapter 10: Writing Persuasive Messages and Proposals
Copyright © 2018 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved.
No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
Extrinsic benefits for a line of clothing: free tote, coupon with a certain minimum purchase, etc.
Extrinsic benefits for car insurance: free roadside assistance; free apps for insurance quotes,
travel, weather alerts, etc.
4. For each item in exercise 2, list two likely product features and then turn them into reader
benefits. (LO1)
Membership in a health club:
Feature: state-of-the-art equipment
Feature: Offer over 100 channels
Benefit: get to enjoy all your favorite channels
5. Choose one of the items in number 2 and write a paragraph that uses scenario painting to
promote the item. (LO1)
Sample scenario painting for health-club sales message:
6. Critique the following persuasive request message. It was written by the membership
chairperson of a chapter of the Service Corps of Retired Executives (SCORE), a service
organization consisting of retired executives who donate their managerial talents to small
businesses in the area. The recipients of the message are recently retired executives. (LO1,
LO2)
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We are a volunteer, not-for-profit organization. We are retired business executives who give free
advice and assistance to struggling small businesses. There is a great demand for our services in
I hope we can count on you.
Sincerely yours,
7. The following request was sent to faculty who had at least one university athlete in their
classes. The response wasn’t very good (few recipients replied, and a few who did reply
declined to participate). Why do you think it was so unsuccessful? What advice would you
have given the writer of this email if he/she had shown you a draft? (LO1, LO2)
8. In almost any situation requiring persuasion, the writer can choose from several promising
strategies. For one of the Annotated Examples in the sections on persuasive requests and
sales messages, plan how you might rewrite the message using a completely different
approach. (LO1–LO5)
9. Evaluate each of these parts of sales messages. (LO5)
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Chapter 10: Writing Persuasive Messages and Proposals
Email Subject Line
a) Earn BIG profits NOW!!!
b) Reduce expenses with an experienced consultant’s help.
c) Free trial offer ends this week!
d) Your coupons are about to expire. (from a store where you shop)
e) This week’s travel deals (from a discount travel site you’ve used)
f) Tell us about your experience with us. (from your cable provider or the tech help of a major
g) Evaluate our service. (from a mail-order company where you’ve shopped)
h) The best electric razor on the market!
i) Your opinion needed (from a charity you’re familiar with).
k) Inquiry
1) An irresistible offer…(from a store where you shop)
Openings
Product or Service: A Credit Card That Gives Bonus Points toward Multiple Airlines
a. Where would you like to go? How would you like to get there?
b. With a Blue Horizons credit card, you’ll get 5,000 sky points just for opening an
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Chapter 10: Writing Persuasive Messages and Proposals
Copyright © 2018 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved.
No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.
c. How does “no annual fee” sound?
Product or Service: A Financial Consulting Service
a. Would you hire yourself to manage your portfolio?
b. Are you satisfied with the income your portfolio earned last year?
From the Body of the Message
Product or Service: A Pest-Control Company
a. If your home gets hit by termites while you’re covered by our plan, you won’t pay a
b. Our guarantee covers all future treatments and any needed repairs.
c. Once you purchase our guarantee, all treatments and repairs will be covered for as
Product or Service: A Mail-Order Food Company
a. Our pasta assortment makes a great gift for your family, friends, and colleagues.
b. Treat your friends and business associates to a true taste of Italy with this elegant and
affordable gift.
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Chapter 10: Writing Persuasive Messages and Proposals
better you-viewpoint
c. The aroma will remind you of walking into a neighborhood ristorante in Milano or
Rome.
Product or Service: A Unique Mattress
a. Control Comfort’s unique air support system lets you control the feel and firmness of
b. The button control adjusts the feel and firmness of Control Comfort’s air support
system.
c. Just by pushing a button you can get your choice of feel and firmness in Control
Comfort’s air support system.
Action Endings
Product or Service: An Alumni Directory
a. To receive your personal copy, just sign and return the enclosed order form along with
your check, money order, or credit card information.
b. To find out what your classmates are doing now, just fill out and return the enclosed
card along with your payment.
emphasizes a benefit with the action
weak action words, more a hint or suggestion than a request
c. Don’t put it off! Now, while it’s on your mind, sign and return the enclosed card.
Product or Service: A News Magazine
a. To begin receiving your copies of Today’s World, simply fill out and return the enclosed
card.
emphasizes benefit with the action
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Chapter 10: Writing Persuasive Messages and Proposals
weak action language
could be clearer about the benefit of receiving Todays’ World, how is it going to
positively impact the reader’s life or career?
b. For your convenience, a subscription card is enclosed. It is your ticket to receiving
Today’s World.
c. If you agree that Today’s World is the best of the news magazines, just sign and return
the enclosed card.
Postscripts
a. You can also monogram items you order before November 1.
you-viewpoint benefit tied to action
a matter-of-fact statement
b. If you order before November 1, you can have your items monogrammed.
c. All orders placed before November 1 are eligible for monogramming.
you-viewpoint benefit tied to action
10. Study the visual dimension (including the logo) of a company’s online sales messages. In
what ways do the visuals add to the persuasion? What image of the company do they
convey? (LO5, LO6)
11. Find a series of tweets or blog posts from a spokesperson for an organization. What kind of
voice does this person use? What image of the company is being conveyed? (LO6)
12. Evaluate a content-marketing blog post in an area you know something about or are
interested in. How effective do you think it would be? Why? (LO6)
13. Choose a company or nonprofit organization and study how it presents itself across several
media. In what ways is a consistent brand projected? In what ways does the company
present itself differently depending on the medium? (LO6)
14. Find and study the guidelines for applying for an undergraduate research grant at your
school (or study the ones at the University of Connecticut). What are the criteria (both
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explicit and implied) for a successful proposal? When reviewing a set of proposals that all
meet these criteria, what kinds of facts might lead the selection committee to fund certain
projects and not others? (LO6)
15. Pretend you are writing an unsolicited internal proposal to request funding for a trip to a
major professional meeting in your area of expertise. What kinds of information will you
need to include? What arguments might your supervisors or management find convincing?
What kinds of objections might you need to overcome? (LO6)
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Chapter 10: Writing Persuasive Messages and Proposals
Solutions to Sample Problem-Solving Cases
Persuasive Requests, Case #4
Persuasion involves convincing – getting someone else to see things the way you do or to take an action
you want them to take. The key to success is to know and understand your readers well so that you can
Accordingly, students need to think first about 1) what benefit a professional might receive from you
shadowing them for half a day and 2) why the professional might be reluctant to have you do so.
Among the possible answer for #1 above:
Increasing awareness of the professional’s job
Acknowledging value in the professional’s work
Promoting goodwill in the workplace
Among the possible answers for #2 above:
Too much hassle
Putting these two lists together, students should be able to generate appealing material to include in the
email message.
Sales Messages, Case #16
This problem can give students excellent practice turning product features into reader benefits.
The first step is to choose a type of membership-based business you know something about and
thoroughly study all their features. Then choose either a real company or invent one to write your sales
letter for.
For example, here’s a partial list of features of a gym or athletic club:
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Chapter 10: Writing Persuasive Messages and Proposals
Free parking
Towels and lockers and changing rooms provided
Group and individual exercise and sports instruction classes available
Then have students turn these features into benefits that would appeal to the target audience. They
should come up with those like the following:
Can invest in your health and wellness
Can enjoy the company of peers
Can escape the routine and learn new activities
Can find a time that works for you
The first paragraph should build on a central selling point, such as the high-quality and private facilities
provided to members: “Looking for an oasis of wellness in your busy week?” or “Want to stay active
without fighting the crowds?”
The class can work together on generating possible “act now” strategies. For example, is a new class
about to be offered at the club, or has a facility or particular equipment just been updated? Or is a special
social event just around the corner?
Related Research/Exercises: