DeVito Interpersonal Messages, 4e Instructor’s Manual
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Chapter 10: Interpersonal Relationship Types and
Theories
Chapter Overview
This chapter explores the major types of relationships—friendship, love, family,
workplace, and online-only—and the theories that try to explain something about how
they work.
Friendship is an interpersonal relationship between two interdependent people that is
mutually productive and characterized by mutual positive regard.
Love is a feeling characterized by closeness and caring and by intimacy, passion, and
commitment that exists between two people and comes in a variety of forms. Eros,
ludus, storge, pragma, mania, and agape are some of the commonly distinguished
types of love.
Family relationships are those existing between two or more people who have defined
Chapter Objectives
1. Define the three major types of friendship and explain the roles of culture, gender,
and technology in friendships.
3. Define family and the types of couples and families and explain the roles of culture,
gender, and technology in family.
5. Define online-only relationships and communicate more effectively in these
relationships.
6. Summarize the theories of attraction, social exchange, equity, dialectics, and rules,
and apply their insights to your own interpersonal relationships.
DeVito Interpersonal Messages, 4e Instructor’s Manual
Student Objectives
Content Objectives:
To better understand the types of interpersonal relationships and their forms
To explain reasons for forming, maintaining, and dissolving relationships
To recognize the ways culture and technology influence your relationships
Skills Objectives:
To communicate to develop and maintain meaningful interpersonal relationships
Skills Evaluation
1. Objective: To communicate more effectively in friendship, love, family, and
2. Objective: To communicate more effectively in different cultures and in
different media. Students write reports on interviews they have with people from
diverse cultures about their “dating and mating” cultural rules.
Chapter Outline
I. Friendship Relationships
A. Friendship
2. Interdependent relationships
4. Characterized by mutual positive regard
B. Types of Friendships
2. Receptivity
3. Association
C. Friends with Benefits
D. Friendship, Culture, Gender, and Technology
2. Gender
3. Technology
II. Love Relationships
A. Types of Love
2. Ludus
4. Pragma
5. Mania
6. Agape
B. Love, Culture, Gender, and Technology
1. Culture
3. Technology
III. Family Relationships
A. Characteristics of Families
1. Defined roles
3. Shared history and future
4. Shared living space
B. Couple Types
1. Traditional couples
3. Separate couples
C. Family Types
2. Protective families
4. Laissez-faire families
D. Families, Culture, Gender, and Technology
2. Gender and families
3. Technology and families
IV. Workplace Relationships
A. Mentoring
B. Networking
C. Romantic Relationships at Work
D. Politeness at Work
V. Online-Only Relationships
A. Tweeting
B. Blogging
C. Social/Workplace Networking
VI. Relationship Theories
A. Attraction theory
2. Proximity
4. Socioeconomic and educational status
5. Reciprocity of liking
B. Social Exchange Theory
C. Equity Theory
D. Relationship Dialectics Theory
2. Autonomy and connection
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3. Novelty and predictability
E. Relationship Rules Theory
2. Romantic rules
4. Workplace rules
Teaching Strategies
Assign the “Identifying Friendship Functions in Social Media,” Skill Building
Relationships. The Skill Building Exercise “Describing Television Relationships”
at the end of the chapter sets up a lively discussion of concepts and types of
relationships discussed in the chapter. Ask students to discuss their answers.
What Do You Say? Several situations appropriate for discussion and/or
What Is Attractive to You? Students should complete the “Test Yourself”
worksheet under the heading: Attraction Theory within section 10.6, entitled
Vignette
This vignette is useful because it’s an example of an extraordinary friendship and is an
effective way of establishing the idea that all relationships are special and different from
each other.
The story is told that in ancient Greece a young man named Pythias was condemned to
death by the tyrant Dionysius for speaking out against the government. Pythias begged
Dionysius to delay his execution until he was able to put his family affairs in order.
DeVito Interpersonal Messages, 4e Instructor’s Manual
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Comments: The legend of Damon and Pythias is the story of an exceptional
relationship. In a way, however, all relationships are exceptional and all tell exceptional
stories. (Any example of an extraordinary relationship would be an effective opener for
this chapter or class.)
Activities for Student-Based Learning
Love Styles
Listed below are statements that might be made by a person about romance or a
romantic partner. Identify the six types of love identified by John Alan Lee reflected in
each of the statements.
(Answers are included in parentheses.)
I want to tell my partner everything about me as soon as I fall in love. (Eros)
My partner is my best friend. (Storge)
I put Kim’s welfare and desires ahead of my own, and that’s the way I want it to be.
I am not looking for a committed relationship, just some fun. (Ludus)
All I can think about is this relationship. Nothing and nobody else matters to me.
What I like best about my relationship is that it is so steady and peaceful—none of
I need to make sure my partner loves me, so I come up with tests a lot of the time.
DeVito Interpersonal Messages, 4e Instructor’s Manual
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Applying Theory to Your Relationships
Ask students to form small groups. Then assign each group a theory from the chapter.
The goal of each group is to illustrate how the theory applies to their personal romantic
relationships. It is crucial that each student provide examples. Discuss whether the
theories are truly applicable to relationships. What are the strengths and weaknesses of
each theory?
Family Types
Have students write a paper describing, in their own words, each of the four family
types: consensual, protective, pluralistic, and laissez-faire. The paper should include a