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Chapter 4: Experiencing and Expressing Emotions
Instructor Resources
Objectives
• Describe the difference between emotions, feelings, and moods.
• Understand the ways in which gender, personality, and culture influence emotion.
• Develop ways to skillfully manage and express emotions.
• Identify ways to deal with emotional challenges such as communicating empathy online,
fading romantic passion, managing anger, and suffering grief.
Discussion Questions
1. What do the key features of emotional experience tell you about the complexity of
emotional experience? Which of the five features is most insightful in helping you
analyze how you managed a recent emotional experience?
2. Using emojis in mediated communication, such as text messaging and e-mail, has become
commonplace. Why do people use them? Why not just say what you really feel? What
happens if the receiver does not understand the emoji?
3. In what ways do you think a person’s family of origin affects how feelings are managed
and expressed? What examples can you provide?
4. What is the significance of distinguishing between mood and emotion? What steps do
you ordinarily take to cope with a bad mood?
9. Provide an example of a situation in which you experienced empathy deficits online. How
did you handle the situation? What could you do to improve your communication the
next time you experience a similar situation?
10. Identify a specific interpersonal relationship in your life. Of the three most difficult
emotions—passion, anger, and grief—which is the most difficult for you to manage in
the relationship? What other emotions do you find difficult to manage or communicate in
the relationship?
Journal Prompts
1. Describe an emotional event in a close relationship. What happened, and why? Can you
identify a specific “trigger” for the emotional event? What was your physical experience
of the event? Are all emotional events draining physically as well as mentally?
2. Describe emoticons that you frequently use in e-mail, social media, and/or text-
messaging. Do these frequently used emoticons convey positive emotion or negative
emotion? Would your communications be as effective if you eliminated the use of the
emoticons? Why or why not?
3. How would you describe your personality in terms of the five traits presented in the
chapter? Which trait is most closely related to how you experience anger in interpersonal
relationships? Describe the connection between this personality trait and your experience
of anger.
4. Have you ever experienced a “couch-jumping” moment? In other words, think of a time
when you lost control over your behavior and emotions. Describe what happened, how
others reacted, and what, if anything, you wish you had done differently?
5. Describe a current situation that is emotionally difficult. Explain how you would apply
one of the emotion prevention strategies discussed in the chapter for dealing with the
situation. Consider the pros and cons of using the identified strategy.
6. Across cultures, women report experiencing more sadness, fear, shame, and guilt than
men, while men report feeling more anger and other hostile emotions. How consistent are
these findings with your own emotional experiences?
7. Describe the nature of your emotional sharing with others. With whom do you normally
share your emotions? What kind of impact does such sharing have on you? On the
relationship?
8. Complete the Self-Quiz: “Assessing Your Emotional Intelligence” on LaunchPad. Which
areas are your strengths? Which dimensions do you need improvement in? What can you
do to improve?
9. Identify a time when you used suppression as a means of managing emotions. What was
the situation? What was the result? What do you conclude about the ethics of using
suppression as an emotion management strategy?
10. Provide examples of situations in which you have used each of the four strategies for
preventing emotions before they occur (encounter avoidance, encounter structuring,
attention focus, deactivation).
11. Poet Henry David Thoreau once noted that “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you
chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will
come and sit softly on your shoulder.” What do you think he meant by this?
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Experiential Activities
Exercise: Expanding Emotional Vocabulary
Objective: To identify the range of emotion words in one’s working vocabulary with the goal
of reviewing alternative word choices.
a. Distribute the Emotional Vocabulary List.
b. Have students take 10 minutes to review and circle all the words that are in their working
vocabularies. For every word they circle, students should be able to say, “This is a word
that I sometimes use in describing or talking about my emotions.” Be clear that their
choices should not revolve around simply knowing the meaning of the word, or the fact
that they use the word to describe other people’s emotions.
c. Working in small groups, students should share their results. Students can take several
paths in the small-group discussion, including looking at the most commonly used words,
examining unusual words, or trying to identify factors affecting their emotional
vocabulary (culture, personality, gender).
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Emotional Vocabulary List
ambivalent
fabulous
jubilant
sad
angry
fantastic
kind
satisfied
annoyed
foolish
livid
shameful
apathetic
forced
lonely
stressed
apologetic
frustrated
lost
stunned
anxious
furious
loved
thrilled
astonished
glad
mad
tickled
awkward
grateful
magnificent
trapped
betrayed
guilty
miserable
tremendous
blissful
happy
neglected
troubled
concerned
hateful
nervous
uncomfortable
confused
hesitant
outraged
upset
content
humiliated
overlooked
useless
contrite
hurt
overwhelmed
valued
delighted
ignored
passionate
vindictive
deprived
impatient
pleased
violated
disappointed
irate
provoked
weird
ecstatic
irritated
pumped
wired
elated
jaded
resentful
wonderful
embarrassed
jazzed
responsible
worried
envious
jealous
ridiculous
zapped
excited
joyful
riled
zealous
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Exercise: Exploring Hidden Biases
Objective: To have students explore their own hidden biases by participating in an online test
designed for that purpose.
a. Refer students to the Project Implicit website (https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/),
where they may participate in one or more of the 15 hidden bias tests that become
available when one clicks on the word “Project Implicit.”
b. Ask students to share their experience using the site, using the following prompts: Did you
participate in one or more of the hidden bias tests? What guided your choice of test?
Whether or not you wish to reveal the results of your test, were you surprised by the
results? What was the experience like while you participated in the test?
Exercise: How Would You Feel?
Objective: To explore the role of interpretation and cognition in emotional experience.
a. Direct students to complete the How Would You Feel? Worksheet.
b. Working in small groups or as a class, students should discuss the feelings identified for
each situation.
c. The class should discuss the circumstantial factors that influence emotional experience.
Additionally, the class should review the five key features of emotions with a particular
emphasis on the interpretive dimension of emotional experience.
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How Would You Feel? Worksheet
Directions: Put yourself in each of the five situations below. For each situation, consider the
two different circumstances and list how you would feel under each circumstance.
1. You received a compliment from a person to whom you are attracted.
You know the person very well You barely know the person
2. Your boss yelled at you.
When no one else was around In front of a customer
3. You asked your best friend to go with you to a movie that you’ve been waiting to see.
He or she accepted He or she turned you down
4. A person disclosed to you the intimate details of his or her love life.
It was a roommate It was a stranger at a bus stop
5. You received news of a serious illness.
About a distant relative About your best friend
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EXERCISE: What Makes You Happy?
Objective: To observe the relationship between mood and overall contentment.
Background: In his book Authentic Happiness, psychologist Martin Seligman encourages
people to perform a daily gratitude exercise and to take inventory of the things for which
they are thankful. He contends that by doing so, a person can shift the focus from sadness
and therefore promote increased happiness.
Directions: Make a list of 10 things for which you are thankful. How do the items on your
list contribute to your overall level of happiness?
Video Recommendations
Inside Out (2015, 95 minutes) is a Pixar film following the emotionally turbulent life of
Riley, a young girl who has been uprooted from her home in the Midwest when her father
gets a job in California. The film explores Riley’s emotions—joy, fear, anger, disgust, and
sadness—through animated characters who live in Emotion Headquarters (the control center
in Riley’s mind). This film beautifully explores how emotions often conflict and shows how
best to manage all types of emotions for healthy living.
The Choice (2016, 111 minutes) follows Travis (Benjamin Walker) and Gabby (Teresa
Palmer) as the two meet and fall in love. The film traces their romance over a decade and
through some of life’s most emotionally challenging events. The story ultimately focuses on
how far people will go to keep love alive and the emotional toll of managing a relationship
through the years.
Youth in Oregon (2016, 105 minutes) tells the story of a once-successful doctor (Frank
Langella) whose health has left him weak and miserable. He decides to end it all by opting
for euthanasia. He calls upon his family to assist him in getting to Oregon where he can end
his life legally. The film follows the doctor and his family’s journey on an emotional
rollercoaster as they grapple with grief, love, and his decision to end his life.
Personal Shopper (2017, 105 minutes) stars Kristin Stewart who plays a personal shopper in
London, who refuses to leave the city until she makes contact with her recently deceased twin
brother who died unexpectedly in the city. The film explores deep concepts of grief and
grieving, as well as issues of emotional management before, after, and while they occur.
Band Aid (2017, 91 minutes) is a modern-day comedy/drama about a couple trying to save
their marriage. The couple, who can’t stop fighting, turn their fights into songs and start a
band as a last-ditch effort to rekindle their love. The movie deals with some serious topics
and deep emotions in a hilarious, yet real way, as the couple tries to find their way back to
love. Concepts of anger, jealousy, love, and loss are all part of the emotions this couple must
manage in this refreshingly “real” movie.
Anger Management (2003, 106 minutes) stars Adam Sandler as Dave Buznik, an easygoing
businessman who is court-ordered to take an anger-management course. Enter Dr. Buddy
Rydell, played by Jack Nicholson, the therapist who eventually becomes roommates with