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3. With the dyads face-to-face, now ask speakers to once again give instructions to the
listeners about how to draw the diagram. This time, however, the listener may ask
questions to clarify the instructions that are being given. The speaker may also watch and
comment on the listener’s work. When the speaker has explained the diagram the second
time, then she or he may show the listener the original drawing.
4. Debrief the activity using the following questions:
• What were some of the challenges of working back-to-back? Noise? Vocabulary
problems? Pacing? Other challenges?
• How is this activity like communication experiences in the real world—for example,
learning a difficult subject, giving directions by telephone, or dealing with someone in
a hostile environment?
• How is the activity like the linear model of communication? The interactive model?
The transactional model?
Exercise: How Facebook Usage Influences Relationships
Objective: To examine the uses and gratifications of social media like Facebook in our lives.
This activity may start conversations about self-disclosure online (what students share and
why and even who is on and not on Facebook), the ethics involved in maintaining
relationships via social media, and how online communication supplements face-to-face
interactions.
Directions: First, have students respond to the following questions individually by writing
their responses down on paper. Then, as a class, encourage students to share their responses.
Questionnaire: Social media, the use of web-based and mobile technologies to turn
communication into an interactive dialogue, has become increasingly popular. The most
popular example of this is Facebook and it is likely many of you have a Facebook account.
Please take a few minutes and respond to the following questions.
1. Do you have a Facebook account?
2. If not, why do you not use Facebook?
3. How important is Facebook in your life?
4. For what purpose(s) do you use Facebook?
5. Approximately how much time a week do you spend on Facebook?
6. How often do you check your Facebook account? How long do you think you could
go without checking it?
7. How many Facebook friends do you have? How many of these Facebook friends are
also your face-to-face friends? How many are not? Is it possible to have too many
Facebook friends?
8. What is the most annoying kind of Facebook update?
9. What is the most irritating Facebook request (e.g., friend requests, games, quizzes,
etc.)?
10. Do you think you should ask someone’s permission before tagging him or her in a
picture?
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VIDEO RECOMMENDATIONS
A Wrinkle in Time (2018, 110 minutes) is a film about a young middle school student, Meg
Murray (Storm Reid) who struggles with issues of self-esteem and is desperate to fit in with
her fellow classmates. Making matters worse, her father disappears and she and her younger
brother, Charles, are transported through time and space to rescue him. This film touches on
several important communication issues especially as they relate to interpersonal
relationships and our need to develop satisfying relationships with others. Communication
competence is another central theme of the film as Meg must learn that words are sometimes
inadequate when communicating with others who are different.
Arrival (2016, 118 minutes) follows Linguist professor Louise Banks (Amy Adams) as she
must find a way to communicate with extraterrestrials. The film addresses the three types of
interpersonal goals (i.e., self-presentation, instrumental, and relationship goals), as the main
character must learn how to develop trust and relationships with aliens. Elements of
intercultural communication also permeate the film as the main character is faced with
communicating with others who have vastly different knowledge about the world and the
people in it.
The Circle (2017, 109 minutes) is a film about Mae Holland (Emma Watson), a recent
college graduate, who is hired to work for the world’s largest technology and social media
company. Mae is asked to develop groundbreaking research that will change how personal
privacy operates in the digital world. This film explores the challenges inherent in advances
in communication technology and addresses the issue of how much privacy do we really
have, or should have, when we share information online.
Cast Away (2000, 143 minutes) is a film about Chuck (played by Tom Hanks), a FedEx
employee who is stranded on an uninhabited island for four years. Chuck uses a volleyball
that washes up on the beach to help cope with his loneliness, naming it Wilson and speaking
to it as his friend. This film provides insights into the needs communication fulfills as well as
an unusual example of an I-It relationship treated with I-Thou messages. The film also
prompts discussion about Chuck’s communication with Wilson as it relates to the linear
model of communication.
The Devil Wears Prada (2006, 109 minutes) stars Anne Hathaway as a recent college
graduate who becomes an assistant to a powerful and demanding fashion magazine editor,
played by Meryl Streep. This film is a rich source for examples of the I-Thou and I-It stance.
Hitch (2005, 118 minutes) is a romantic comedy starring Will Smith as a professional
matchmaker who makes a living teaching men how to behave on dates. As he coaches his
client Albert (Kevin James) in ways to win the heart of the woman he adores, the film
provides several good examples of how to send messages of attraction and competency
through different channels.
59
The Office, which premiered in 2005, is a popular American television series that originally
starred Steve Carell as Michael Scott, a clueless boss at the Dunder Mifflin paper company.
Almost every episode featuring Carell provides humorous examples of Michael’s inept
leadership and his communication incompetence.
The Social Network (2010, 121 minutes) is the story of Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg),
the cofounder of Facebook. The movie depicts a brilliant computer programmer who builds
an empire based on technological connectivity. Ironically he lacks the requisite
communication skills to connect with others on the relational front. This film not only depicts
how social networking has transformed our lives, but also emphasizes the importance of old-
fashioned face-to-face communication in our interpersonal relationships.
Up in the Air (2009, 109 minutes) stars George Clooney as a successful corporate-
downsizing expert who appears happy staying in transit and airborne, rather than having any
serious relationships on the ground. As the movie progresses, he realizes that his life lacks
personal connection and he has nothing real to hold onto except his frequent-flyer points. In
the end, Up in the Air is a movie about the importance of close relationships.
Silver Linings Playbook (2012, 124 minutes) is the story of Pat (Bradley Cooper) and
Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), who both suffer from different forms of mental illness. When
they first meet at a dinner party, it is obvious that their communication skills could use some
improvement.
60
WEB RESOURCES
National Communication Association
www.natcom.org
The National Communication Association is an organization of researchers, educators, and
other professionals working to enhance the study and practice of communication.
American Communication Association
www.americancomm.org
The ACA is a nonprofit virtual organization that aims to make information for practitioners
and scholars of communication free and accessible.
The Organization for the Study of Communication, Language & Gender
www.osclg.org
The Organization for the Study of Communication, Language & Gender is an
interdisciplinary organization that seeks to foster insightful research and discussion on issues
of language, gender, and communication. Contributors come from a wide spectrum of
disciplines to include researchers, teachers, consultants, and practitioners.
Interpersonal Communication Models
http://pirate.shu.edu/~yatesdan/model.html
This site provides interactive models that depict the differences between linear, interactional,
and transactional communication.
Technology’s Impact on Interpersonal Communication
https://www.theodysseyonline.com/faceless-communication
This article in The Odyssey explores the evolving nature of interpersonal relationships and the
impact that technology has had on our ability to have meaningful relationships.
Capture Your Flag
http://www.captureyourflag.com/
Capture Your Flag is a “knowledge video library” offering videos on various themes,
including relationship building.
National Public Radio (NPR)
“Status Update Unknown, Or Fasting from Social Media”
http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2011/04/25/135577006/status-update-unknown-
or-fasting-from-social-media
This article from NPR discusses the challenges of fasting from social media.
“What We Have Here: A Failure to Communicate”
61
http://www.npr.org/2012/04/26/151351550/what-we-have-here-a-failure-to-communicate
This article from NPR focuses on how technology has a negative impact on our interpersonal
communication.
“Teen Texting Soars; Will Social Skills Suffer?”
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126117811
This article from NPR examines the impact that texting has on our interpersonal connections
with others.
“We Never Talk Anymore: The Problem with Text Messaging”
http://techland.time.com/2012/08/16/we-never-talk-anymore-the-problem-with-text-
messaging/
This article from Time magazine examines the negative effects of overreliance on texting and
social media.
“The Real Reason New College Grads Can’t Get Hired”
http://business.time.com/2013/11/10/the-real-reason-new-college-grads-cant-get-hired/
This article from Time magazine discusses the importance of interpersonal skills in the
workplace, and reasons why today’s college graduates lack these skills.
“Sexual Orientation and Gender”
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sexual-orientation-gender
This site provides an overview of gender, gender identity, and sexual orientation. Readers
get answers to questions such as what is sexual orientation?, how does gender differ from
sexual orientation?, what does it mean to ‘come out’?, and what is homophobia?
63
Chapter 1: Introducing Interpersonal Communication
Lecture Outline
I. Communication can be defined as the process through which people create messages,
using a variety of modalities and sensory channels to convey meanings within and
across contexts. This definition highlights the five features that characterize
communication:
A. Communication is a process that unfolds over time through a series of actions that
connect the participants.
B. Communicators create messages to convey meanings.
1. A message is the "package" of information that is transported during
communication.
2.When people exchange a series of messages, it’s called an interaction.
C. Communicators choose from many different modalities—or forms—for exchanging
messages, to include webcams, cell phones, texting, e-mail, handwritten letters, and
face-to-face communication.
D. People transmit information through various sensory channels when
communicating. Sensory channels include auditory (sound), visual (sight), tactile
(touch), olfactory (scent), or oral (taste).
E. Communicators convey meanings within and across a seemingly endless assortment
of contexts, or situations.
II. The communication process can be described by one of three models, depicting
communication from a simple to a more complex process.
A. The linear communication model depicts communication as an activity in which
information flows in one direction, from a starting point to an end point.
1. There must be a message.
2. A channel is the sensory dimension (or dimensions) along which the message is
sent.
3. The sender (or senders) of the message is the individual (or individuals) who
generates the information to be communicated, packages it into a message, and
chooses the channel(s) for sending it.
4. Noise is any environmental factor that may impede messages from reaching their
destination.
5. The receiver (or receivers) is the person for whom a message is intended and to
whom the message is delivered.
B. The interactive communication model also views communication as a process
involving senders and receivers. In this model, transmission is influenced by two
additional factors: feedback and fields of experience.
1. Feedback comprises verbal and nonverbal messages that recipients convey to
indicate their reaction to communication.
2. Fields of experience consist of the beliefs, attitudes, values, and experiences that
each participant brings to a communication event.
C. The transactional communication model suggests that communication is a
multidirectional process, where each participant equally influences the
communication behavior of the other participants.
1. There are no "senders" or "receivers."
2. Instead, all parties involved constantly exchange verbal and nonverbal messages
and feedback, and collaboratively create meanings.
D. Table 1.1 ("Communication Models") in the text explores the comparative strengths
and weaknesses of the three different communication models.
III. Interpersonal communication can be defined as a dynamic form of communication
between two (or more) people in which the messages exchanged significantly influence
their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships.
A. Interpersonal communication is dynamic rather than static (communication is
constantly in motion and changing over time).
B. Interpersonal communication is transactional with both parties contributing to the
meaning.
C. Interpersonal communication is primarily dyadic, involving pairs of people or
dyads. The dyadic nature allows us to distinguish it from intrapersonal
communication—communication involving only one person.
D. Interpersonal communication creates impact, changing the participants’ thoughts,
emotions, behavior, and relationships.
1. It stands in sharp contrast to impersonal communication—exchanges that
have a negligible perceived impact on thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and
relationships.
2. Furthermore, interpersonal communication takes two forms, I-Thou and I-It.
a. I-Thou communication refers to ways of relating that forge meaningful
bonds that help bridge the distance between ourselves and others; we
can make that distance seem "thinner" through our communication.
b. I-It communication refers to ways of relating that focus on differences
and amplify the view of the other as an object for exploitation, leading
to disrespectful, manipulative, and exploitive communication; the
distance between us and others "thickens" to the point of becoming
impenetrable.
IV. Four principles guide our understanding of Interpersonal Communication.
A. Interpersonal communication conveys both content and relationship information.
1. Content information is the actual meaning of the words we utter and is conveyed
2. Relationship information indicates how each person views the relationship, and is
conveyed primarily through nonverbal cues (e.g., vocal tone, pitch, facial
expressions, hand gestures, etc.).
3. Relationship information strongly influences how people interpret content
information.
4. Meta-communication (communication about communication) includes any
message, verbal or nonverbal, that centrally focuses on how the meaning of
communication should be interpreted.
B. Interpersonal communication can be intentional or unintentional.
C. Interpersonal communication is irreversible; once you’ve said something, you can’t
take it back.
D. Interpersonal communication is dynamic; our communication, perceptions,
thoughts, feelings, and emotions are constantly in flux.
1. No two interactions with the same person will ever be identical.
2. No two moments within the same interaction will ever be identical.
V.Human beings are fundamentally communicative and social creatures.
1. We need to communicate with others to be happy and healthy.
2. Interpersonal communication fulfills a profound human need for connection.
VI. Interpersonal communication helps us achieve important personal needs and practical
goals.
A. We seek to fulfill a hierarchy of needs in our daily lives; when the most basic needs
are fulfilled, we pursue higher-level needs.
1. Physical needs are requirements for air, food, water, sleep, and shelter
2. Safety needs include job security and protection from violence.
3. Social needs include forming satisfying and healthy emotional bonds with others.
4. Self-esteem needs are met by gaining others’ respect and admiration.
5. Self-actualization needs are met by articulating our unique abilities and giving
our best in our work, family, and personal life.
B. Interpersonal communication also helps us to fulfill three types of goals.
1. Self-presentation goals are desires to present ourselves to others in a particular
way.
2. Instrumental goals are practical aims we want to achieve or tasks we want to
accomplish.
3. Relationship goals include building, maintaining, or terminating bonds with
others.
VII. Interpersonal communication competence means communicating with others in ways
that are appropriate, effective, and ethical.
A. Developing interpersonal communication competence involves two steps, both of
which require motivation to improve one’s communication:
1. Acquiring knowledge of what it means to communicate competently.
2. Translating this knowledge into communication skills (repeatable goal-directed behaviors
and behavioral patterns that you routinely practice in your interpersonal encounters and
relationships).
B. There are three characteristics of competent interpersonal communication: (1) It is
appropriate (it follows accepted norms), (2) effective (it enables you to achieve your
goals), and (3) ethical (it treats people fairly).
1. Appropriateness is the degree to which your communication matches
situational, relational, and cultural expectations regarding how people should
communicate.
a. We judge how appropriate our communication is through self-monitoring: the
process of observing our own communication and the norms of the situation in
order to make appropriate communication choices.
b. High self-monitors prefer clear expectations regarding how they’re supposed to
communicate, and they possess the ability and desire to alter their behavior to fit
social situations.
c. By contrast, low self-monitors don’t assess their own communication or the
situation, and prefer encounters in which they can "act like themselves."
d. However, overemphasizing appropriateness can backfire: constantly focusing on
appropriateness and adapting one’s communication to the needs of others can
lead to conformity or fears of being perceived negatively by others.
2. Effectiveness is the ability to use communication to accomplish the three types of
interpersonal goals discussed earlier: self-presentation, instrumental, and
relationship.
3. Ethics is the set of moral principles that guide our behavior toward others.
a. We are ethically obligated to avoid intentionally hurting others through our
communication.
b. Communication that expresses intolerance or hatred, that intimidates or threatens
others’ physical well-being, or that expresses violence is unethical and therefore
incompetent.
c. See the Credo of the National Communication Association for additional
guidelines on ethical communication.
C. Online communication poses unique challenges to communicating competently and
can be improved in several ways:
1. Choose your medium wisely; know when to communicate online versus offline.
2. Don’t assume that online communication is always more efficient.
3. Presume that your posts are public.
4. Remember that your posts are permanent.
5. Practice the art of creating drafts.
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VIII. Four issues in interpersonal communication gaining increasing importance are: culture,
gender and sexual orientation, online communication, and the dark side of
interpersonal relationships.
A. Understanding cultural differences in interpersonal communication is increasingly
important in a world made smaller by technology.
1. Culture is an established, coherent set of beliefs, attitudes, values, and practices
shared by a large group of people.
2. Culture includes many different types of large-group influences to include
nationality, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation, physical and mental
abilities, and even age.
3. We learn our cultural beliefs, attitudes, and values from parents, teachers,
religious leaders, peers, and the mass media.
4. Focus on Culture: Intercultural Competence. Understanding cultural differences
in communication is the first step toward intercultural communication
competence. Additionally, students should remember these suggestions: (1)
Think globally; (2) learn appropriateness; (3) be respectfully inquisitive; (4) use
simple language; and (5) be patient with yourself and others.
B. Gender and sexual orientation are also important issues in the study of
contemporary interpersonal communication.
1. Gender consists of the social, psychological, and cultural traits generally
associated with one sex or the other.
a. Gender is not the same as biological sex, which we’re assigned at birth.
b. Gender is largely learned and influenced by culture.
c. Scholars disagree about the relationship between gender and communication.
2. Sexual orientation is the enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, or affectionate
attraction to others.
a. This orientation exists along a continuum ranging from exclusive
homosexuality to exclusive heterosexuality and that includes various forms of
bisexuality.
b. Same-gender and opposite-gender relationships are formed, maintained, and
dissolved in similar ways.
C. Radical changes in communication technology have had a profound effect on our
ability to interpersonally communicate. Examples of online communication include
Facebook posts, e-mails, text messages, Skype conferences, and more.
D. Because interpersonal communication can sometimes be destructive, examining the
dark side of interpersonal relationships has become an important issue.
IX. Making Relationship Choices: Dealing with a Difficult Friend
A. Communicating competently can be challenging when others provoke us.
B. Consider a situation where you express concern, in a private and appropriate
manner, about your friend Kaitlyn’s recent change in behavior. Instead of taking
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your concern seriously, Kaitlyn blasts you in a message to a mutual friend, Cort.
You hear the message alert sound on Cort’s phone and read the message while Cort
is out of the room, and you feel deeply hurt by Kaitlyn’s remarks. Now consider the
steps of formulating a response to this situation by following five steps.
1. Reflect on your thoughts and feelings in this situation.
2. Reflect on the thoughts and feelings of Kaitlin.
3. Identify the optimal outcome to the situation.
4. Locate the roadblocks to achieving the outcome.
5. Chart your course of action, considering issues related to ethics, I-Thou and I-It,
and the irreversibility of interpersonal communication.
