Making Negative Writing Positive Name __________________
People respond better to messages that are phrased positively. That is why careful business
writers convey information positively whenever possible. This doesn’t mean disguising or
misrepresenting the facts. It means avoiding negative words (such as complaint, fail, mistake)
and finding positive ways to express ideas. You provide more options to readers when you tell
what can be done instead of what can‘t be done.
Negative: You failed to tell us your color choice, so we are unable to complete your order.
Positive: As soon as we receive your color choice, we will complete your order.
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Try your skill at converting the following from negative to positive messages.
1. You cannot submit your application until January 1.
2. We can‘t send the digital camera you ordered because we are out of stock until March 1, when
we will begin shipping again.
3. As we gather customer information, we would like to know if you have any complaints about
our products or services.
9. You won‘t be sorry that you applied for a Capitol One credit card.
10. Without the support of the entire community, the new athletic field cannot be built.
11. Because of the numerous flaws in your proposal, we cannot accept it. It didn’t compare
favorably with the other proposals that were submitted. Other finalists were accepted.
Key
These revisions represent one possible solution. Other solutions may be equally correct.
1. You may submit your application on January 1.
2. Although we are temporarily out of stock, we expect to send your digital camera on March 1.
9. You will be happy that you applied for a Capitol One credit card.
10. With the support of the entire community, the new athletic field can be built.
11. We received many outstanding proposals for this project. Although other finalists were
accepted, we appreciate your entry in a highly competitive field.