CHAPTER 9
Achieving Emotional Balance in a
Chaotic World
CHAPTER PREVIEW
After studying this chapter, students should be able to:
1. Describe how emotions influence our thinking and behavior.
2. Explain the critical role of emotions in the workplace.
3. Describe the major factors that influence our emotional development.
4. Learn how to cope with your anger and the anger of others.
5. Understand the factors that contribute to workplace violence.
6. Identify and explain the most common emotional styles.
7. Describe strategies for achieving emotional control.
PURPOSE AND PERSPECTIVE
We carry inside us a vast array of emotions that help us cope with our environment. To the extent that
we can become more aware of our emotions and assess the influence they have on our daily lives, we
have an opportunity to achieve a new level of self-understanding. Greater self-awareness can help us
increase emotional intelligence and avoid inappropriate behavior. Emotions also play a critical role in
the success of every organization; supporting employees who engage in emotional labor and
minimizing toxic emotions in the workplace are especially important. We sometimes experience
emotional imbalance because we learn to inhibit the expression of certain emotions and overemphasize
the expression of others. In this chapter we examine the various factors that influence our emotional
development. The emotion of anger is given considerable attention. It takes a great deal of effort to
learn how to deal with our own anger and the anger of others. This chapter provides a status report on
workplace violence in America, a problem that is receiving a great deal of attention today. Information
on common emotional styles and strategies for achieving emotional control are also presented in this
chapter.
PRESENTATION OUTLINE
I. Emotions—An Introduction
A. Achieving emotional balance—a daily challenge
B. Emotional intelligence
1. Personal competence
2. Social competence
C. Emotional expression
II. The Emotional Factor at Work
A. Relationship strategy
34 Chapter 9: Achieving Emotional Balance in a Chaotic World
B. Toxic emotions
III. Factors That Influence Our Emotional Development
A. Temperament
B. Unconscious Influences
1. Transactional analysis
C. Cultural Intelligence
D. Mindfulness
IV. Coping with Your Anger and the Anger of Others
A. Managing your anger
B. Anger management
C. Keeping cool in angry times
D. Effective ways to express your anger
1. Avoid reacting in a manner that could be seen as emotionally unstable
2. Do not make accusations or try to fix blame
3. Express your feelings in a timely manner
4. Be specific as you describe the factors that triggered your anger, and be clear about the
resolution you are seeking
5. Ban the silent treatment
E. How to handle other people’s anger
1. Recognize and accept the other person’s anger
2. Encourage the angry person to vent his or her feelings
3. Do not respond to an angry person with your own anger
4. Give the angry person feedback
V. Violence in the Workplace
A. Preventing workplace violence
1. Use hiring procedures that screen out unstable persons
2. Develop a strategy for responding to incidents before they actually occur
3. When employees are demoted, fired, or laid off, do it in a way that does not demoralize
the employee
4. Provide out-placement services for laid-off or terminated employees
5. Establish a systematic way to deal with disgruntled employees
6. Provide supervisors and managers with training that will help them prevent workplace
violence and deal effectively with violence if it does occur
VI. Emotional Styles
A. Suppressing your emotions
B. Capitulating to your emotions
C. Overexpressing your emotions
D. Accommodating your emotions
VII. Strategies for Achieving Emotional Control
A. Identifying your emotional patterns
B. Fine-tuning your emotional style
1. Take responsibility for your emotions
2. Put your problems into proper perspective
3. Take steps to move beyond toxic emotions such as envy, anger, jealousy, or hatred
4. Give your feelings some exercise
CAREER INSIGHT EXERCISE
Encourage students to prepare answers for the questions typically asked during an interview: Why do
you want this job? What makes you a good candidate for the job? What are your career plans? How
does this job fit those goals?
Chapter 9: Achieving Emotional Balance in a Chaotic World 35
TRY YOUR HAND EXERCISES
1. This exercise will provide students with a valuable opportunity to analyze their past experiences
with anger. Encourage students to answer all four questions.
2. This exercise will help students identify the emotional patterns (particularly those related to anger)
that exist in their lives. At the end of five days, encourage students to carefully reflect on their
journal entries.
3. After students complete the sentences, encourage them to develop a plan that will focus on
positive changes in their emotional style.
4. Encourage students to go to the website of the National Anger Management Association and
review the information about anger management certification.
CRITICAL THINKING CHALLENGE
Encourage students to write about their anger and keep writing until their feelings become more
focused and the reasons for anger are clarified. Then they can discuss what they learned and how to
apply this knowledge to future situations.
SELF-ASSESSMENT EXERCISE
This exercise will help students assess how well they manage their emotions currently, and encourage
them to work toward improving their emotional control by setting a goal and formulating a plan to
reach it.
YOU PLAY THE ROLE EXERCISE
Grief over the loss of a loved one can be a very difficult personal problem. In this case, Wesla will
appreciate a response from her boss that demonstrates care and compassion.
CASE QUESTIONS
BELOW THE SURFACE: Angry Head Coach Creates Public Relations
Scandal
1. Answers will vary. The student should argue for or against the idea that enrolling Mike Rice in an
anger management program rather than simply punishing him for his poor emotional control
would have resulted in a better outcome for Rutgers University.
CLOSING CASE: Emotions Tied to Eating
1. Answers will vary. Students should share their opinion of keeping a food and moods diary as a
means to reduce emotional eating, and discuss the practicality of logging their eating habits and
feelings consistently.
2. Answers will vary, but should be pleasant or rewarding activities that students could realistically
substitute for emotional eating as coping aids.
ADDITIONAL APPLICATION EXERCISES
1. According to Beth Jacobs, Ph.D., there are seven essential skills needed to achieve emotional
balance:
36 Chapter 9: Achieving Emotional Balance in a Chaotic World
▪ Distance yourself from your emotions
▪ Define what your emotions mean for you
▪ Release blocked and conflicted feelings
▪ Retain focus while experiencing overwhelming emotions
▪ Use structure and organization to clarify feeling
▪ Regroup after an emotional setback
▪ Maintain your new skills and incorporate them into your life
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Over a period of several days, monitor your thoughts and feelings. Pay careful attention to
emotions such as anger, fear, joy, grief, and love. Record your observations in a journal so they
can be reexamined later. After several days’ self-examination, carefully study your findings. Are
your thoughts and feelings the results of rational thinking? Do certain emotions dominate your
daily life? Did you find it difficult or easy to pay careful attention to your thoughts and feelings?
What did you learn about your emotions?
2. Worry and fear are emotions that often get “stuck” and influence your outlook for hours, days, or
even weeks. These anxieties may serve as a barrier to efficient performance of your job or have a
negative influence on your mental and physical health. Make a list of your worries using a
sentence format such as, “I feel worried when others fail to listen to my concerns,” or “I feel
anxious when I’m among strangers.” Once the list is complete, divide the items into two
categories: Those you can influence and those you can’t. Then develop a plan to deal with those
problems you can influence.
3. One way to reduce the anxiety associated with problems and challenges at work or in one’s
personal life is to use a technique therapists call flooding. When flooding is used, you are
attempting to help someone overcome their fear by having them imagine an extreme, almost
absurdly fearful situation. Robert Epstein, former editor-in-chief of Psychology Today, suggests
that flooding is a useful technique that can be used to cope with a variety of challenges we face
every day. Although these problems are irritating, they probably are not very important in the
larger scheme of things.
To illustrate how flooding might be used by someone who is afraid of being criticized, Dr. Epstein
offers this example:
Encourage her to imagine that 100 people are standing around her in a circle shouting
insults. You might then have her imagine more extreme variants of this situation: perhaps
the shouts grow louder until the building begins to shake and the walls fall down. Then the
shouts cause a massive earthquake until the whole city is in ruins. These fantasies often end
with the world blowing up in a puff of smoke. They make one lowly criticism seem pretty
small and insignificant, putting things back in perspective.
After you explain the flooding technique, ask students to list three irritating problems or
challenges they face at work or in their personal lives today or have faced in the past. Then
instruct them to select one of these problems and outline their “blow–up” fantasies. Encourage
students to close their eyes, focus on one of the problems, and imagine the fantasy unfolding in
detail. After students finish, ask for volunteers who will share their blow-up fantasy with the
group.
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