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Segment runs about 5 minutes. Students will find this video amusing
pleading, questioning, or begging, B will remain seated and give
feedback to A (e.g., “too passive”). If the statement is too much of a
command, sounds like an order, A will remain seated and give
feedback (“too aggressive”). Do not allow any words to be used
except “stand up.”
3. Once A gets B to “stand up,” he/she then says “sit down.” B again will
obey by sitting down only if it sounds assertive. Do not allow any
words to be used except “sit down.” Feedback should be given any
time A fails to be assertive from B’s perspective. A will repeat this
process until B has stood up and sat down several times.
4. Roles will now switch. B will issue the statements “stand up” and “sit
down” and A will obey if it is deemed assertive.
5. Break the class into groups of 6-9 members. Have each member, in
turn, make the statement “stand up” to the group. Each group
member should be told to make an independent judgment whether
the statement was said assertively, aggressively, or passively. Group
members will obey only when the statement is deemed assertive.
Sometimes all group members will obey simultaneously and
sometimes compliance will be sporadic. Each member must get every
group member to stand up before making the statement “sit down.”
Again, group members obey only if the statement is deemed
assertive. Feedback should be provided frequently to the member
making the statements.
D. Processing:
1. Note that groups will sometimes comply all together. When all
nonverbal cues communicate assertiveness (tone of voice, facial
expressions, eye contact, gestures, posture), all group members will
comply. When mixed messages are communicated from
contradictory nonverbal cues (i.e., downcast eyes but confident vocal
tone) the compliance is more sporadic. Which nonverbal cues are
most noticeable to individual group members will play an important
part in a determination of the aggressiveness, passivity, or
assertiveness of the statement. For example, if you are sitting next to
the member issuing the statement, you probably can’t see his or her
eyes so tone of voice will become more salient. Someone sitting
directly across from the member making the statement, however, may
find eye contact more salient than tone of voice.
2. Assertiveness is mostly nonverbal in nature. The statements “stand
up” and “sit down” seem to be inherently commands, thus
aggressive. Yet this exercise clearly demonstrates that the verbal
“command” can be communicated in an exceedingly passive way
through tone of voice, lack of eye contact, soft-spokenness, and so
forth. Thus, what you say is often not as important as how you say
it when you’re trying to be assertive.
3. The multiple nonverbal cues that together comprise assertiveness,
aggressiveness, or passivity should be discussed. The “Elements of
Assertive Communication” list might be distributed after the exercise
has been completed but before discussion takes place.
ELEMENTS OF ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
NONVERBAL ELEMENTS
Eye Contact
Inadequate eye contact is usually interpreted as exhibiting anxiety, dishonesty, shame, boredom, or
embarrassment. Direct eye contact typically communicates self-confidence and directness
(assertiveness).
Facial Expressions
Facial expressions should match verbal statements. Smiling while displeased or smirking when anxious
gives a mixed message. Frowning may communicate aggressiveness.
Gestures/Posture
Fidgeting, nervous shifting from one foot to another, slumped shoulders, or bent over posture often
communicate passivity. Similarly, frantic gesturing, energetic stabbing motions with the hand, clenched
fists and wild waving of the arms may be interpreted as aggressiveness. Strive for balance–physical
animation without appearing to have consumed five cafe espressos. Poise is interpreted as assertiveness.
Poise means you are under control physically.
Vocal elements
Watch out for tag questions–raising your voice at the end of a declarative statement
(“stand up?”; “Dinner at 7:00?”). This communicates passivity. Consider other vocal aspects as well.
Loudness–too soft will appear passive; too loud comes across as aggressive.
Rate–too rapid a speaking rate appears nervous, out of control, lacking confidence.
Fluency–disfluencies (“um,” “ah,” “like,” “okay,” “you know,” “er”) appear anxious
and lacking in confidence–passive.
Distance
Too close, especially with strangers appears “pushy” and aggressive. Too far apart seems passive–afraid
to approach. Find a comfortable conversational distance–about 2-3 feet apart for normal social
conversation.
VERBAL ELEMENTS
Despite the mostly nonverbal nature of assertiveness, there are some verbal aspects to consider. Think
before you speak. Saying whatever comes to mind may appear anxious, even fearful. Strive for clarity.
A jumbled verbal message can seem passive, lacking in confidence. Don’t overqualify statements. For
example:
“You probably will think I’m being touchy, but . . .”
“I hope you don’t mind, but . . .”
“I hope I’m not bothering you, but . . .”
“I may be wrong, and correct me if I am because I certainly don’t want to be
wrong, and I’m sure you know better anyhow, but . . .”
CHAPTER 11
Conflict Management in Groups
I. Show excerpt from the movie War of the Roses. The dinner party fiasco segment is
an excellent choice to illustrate destructive conflict.
II. “Conflict Resolution Questionnaire”– A self-assessment
A. Purpose: To give students an opportunity to analyze their own conflict
management approaches and skills and to receive feedback from group members.
(This exercise works best when conflict styles and principled negotiation have
already been discussed in class.)
B. Time required: approximately 30 minutes (if questionnaire is filled out
in advance)
C. Instructions
1. Have students access Web site:
www.qvctc.commnet.edu/classes/ssci121/questnr.html
or type “conflict resolution questionnaire” in Google search window.
2. The “Conflict Resolution Questionnaire” will appear. Instruct students to
fill out the questionnaire as honestly as possible, score it as instructed,
and bring a printed copy to class on the day this exercise will be
conducted.
3. Be sure all students have scored the questionnaire accurately before
proceeding. Scoring instructions are included on the Web site.
4. Have groups form. Give groups about 15 minutes to discuss the
results of the questionnaire. Have students focus on principled
negotiation, matching their results with the principles identified by
Fisher and Ury in the text.
D. Processing
1. Discuss with class how useful they think the questionnaire was. Did it
provide useful information for assessing their own knowledge and
skill on conflict management?
2. Discuss with the class what likely happens when group members
have different levels of knowledge and skill for managing conflict.
How should groups deal with such diversity?
III. "Conflict Case Studies" exercise
A. Purposes:
1. Require students to apply theoretical material on conflict styles.
2. Require students to apply theoretical material on negotiating
strategies.
B. Time required: About 40-50 minutes.
C. Instructions:
1. Divide class into groups of 5-7 members.
2. Distribute the two case studies (see following pages).
3. Have groups indicate how best to handle these conflicts, applying the
text material on conflict styles and negotiating strategies.
CASE STUDY #1
The scene is Piedmont College in Lost Horizon, Connecticut. Piedmont College sports an
admirable academic reputation nationally. It has a student body of 10,000 (exclusively
commuters). Its student newspaper, The Scorch, has excellent facilities for on-campus
printing.
A group interested in publishing a campus literary magazine, The Crucible, has received
$200 each from 3 departments on campus (English, Speech, and Journalism) to begin work
on the magazine. The purpose of the magazine is to promote student creativity and act as a
vehicle for student literary expression.
The Problem
It is too costly to publish The Crucible off-campus and The Crucible has a very tight
budget. Since The Scorch has excellent printing facilities, the staff at The Scorch offered
the use of its facilities for preparing and printing The Crucible (for a nominal fee of $200
per issue). The point of conflict arises each week on Tuesday and Wednesday prior to the
publication of The Scorch (issues come out on Thursdays). There isn't enough room at The
Scorch office to accommodate both groups at once. The staff of The Crucible has to work
at least twice a week (pasting up articles, headlines, graphics) using The Scorch's facilities.
The Scorch staff has become increasingly angry by the "infringement" of its rights by The
Crucible staff.
In addition, one of the machines used in preparing photographs for publication has been
broken due to carelessness. No one will own up to having broken the machine. The Scorch
had to foot the repair bill ($525.00) since the machine was originally purchased to publish
The Scorch, and must be used for this purpose each week.
If The Scorch staff refuses to allow The Crucible staff to continue to use the facilities of The
Scorch, the literary magazine will fold. Yet, the equipment cannot be jeopardized by
carelessness.
You're the arbitrator of this conflict. What would you suggest?
pleading, questioning, or begging, B will remain seated and give
feedback to A (e.g., “too passive”). If the statement is too much of a
command, sounds like an order, A will remain seated and give
feedback (“too aggressive”). Do not allow any words to be used
except “stand up.”
3. Once A gets B to “stand up,” he/she then says “sit down.” B again will
obey by sitting down only if it sounds assertive. Do not allow any
words to be used except “sit down.” Feedback should be given any
time A fails to be assertive from B’s perspective. A will repeat this
process until B has stood up and sat down several times.
4. Roles will now switch. B will issue the statements “stand up” and “sit
down” and A will obey if it is deemed assertive.
5. Break the class into groups of 6-9 members. Have each member, in
turn, make the statement “stand up” to the group. Each group
member should be told to make an independent judgment whether
the statement was said assertively, aggressively, or passively. Group
members will obey only when the statement is deemed assertive.
Sometimes all group members will obey simultaneously and
sometimes compliance will be sporadic. Each member must get every
group member to stand up before making the statement “sit down.”
Again, group members obey only if the statement is deemed
assertive. Feedback should be provided frequently to the member
making the statements.
D. Processing:
1. Note that groups will sometimes comply all together. When all
nonverbal cues communicate assertiveness (tone of voice, facial
expressions, eye contact, gestures, posture), all group members will
comply. When mixed messages are communicated from
contradictory nonverbal cues (i.e., downcast eyes but confident vocal
tone) the compliance is more sporadic. Which nonverbal cues are
most noticeable to individual group members will play an important
part in a determination of the aggressiveness, passivity, or
assertiveness of the statement. For example, if you are sitting next to
the member issuing the statement, you probably can’t see his or her
eyes so tone of voice will become more salient. Someone sitting
directly across from the member making the statement, however, may
find eye contact more salient than tone of voice.
2. Assertiveness is mostly nonverbal in nature. The statements “stand
up” and “sit down” seem to be inherently commands, thus
aggressive. Yet this exercise clearly demonstrates that the verbal
“command” can be communicated in an exceedingly passive way
through tone of voice, lack of eye contact, soft-spokenness, and so
forth. Thus, what you say is often not as important as how you say
it when you’re trying to be assertive.
3. The multiple nonverbal cues that together comprise assertiveness,
aggressiveness, or passivity should be discussed. The “Elements of
Assertive Communication” list might be distributed after the exercise
has been completed but before discussion takes place.
ELEMENTS OF ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
NONVERBAL ELEMENTS
Eye Contact
Inadequate eye contact is usually interpreted as exhibiting anxiety, dishonesty, shame, boredom, or
embarrassment. Direct eye contact typically communicates self-confidence and directness
(assertiveness).
Facial Expressions
Facial expressions should match verbal statements. Smiling while displeased or smirking when anxious
gives a mixed message. Frowning may communicate aggressiveness.
Gestures/Posture
Fidgeting, nervous shifting from one foot to another, slumped shoulders, or bent over posture often
communicate passivity. Similarly, frantic gesturing, energetic stabbing motions with the hand, clenched
fists and wild waving of the arms may be interpreted as aggressiveness. Strive for balance–physical
animation without appearing to have consumed five cafe espressos. Poise is interpreted as assertiveness.
Poise means you are under control physically.
Vocal elements
Watch out for tag questions–raising your voice at the end of a declarative statement
(“stand up?”; “Dinner at 7:00?”). This communicates passivity. Consider other vocal aspects as well.
Loudness–too soft will appear passive; too loud comes across as aggressive.
Rate–too rapid a speaking rate appears nervous, out of control, lacking confidence.
Fluency–disfluencies (“um,” “ah,” “like,” “okay,” “you know,” “er”) appear anxious
and lacking in confidence–passive.
Distance
Too close, especially with strangers appears “pushy” and aggressive. Too far apart seems passive–afraid
to approach. Find a comfortable conversational distance–about 2-3 feet apart for normal social
conversation.
VERBAL ELEMENTS
Despite the mostly nonverbal nature of assertiveness, there are some verbal aspects to consider. Think
before you speak. Saying whatever comes to mind may appear anxious, even fearful. Strive for clarity.
A jumbled verbal message can seem passive, lacking in confidence. Don’t overqualify statements. For
example:
“You probably will think I’m being touchy, but . . .”
“I hope you don’t mind, but . . .”
“I hope I’m not bothering you, but . . .”
“I may be wrong, and correct me if I am because I certainly don’t want to be
wrong, and I’m sure you know better anyhow, but . . .”
CHAPTER 11
Conflict Management in Groups
I. Show excerpt from the movie War of the Roses. The dinner party fiasco segment is
an excellent choice to illustrate destructive conflict.
II. “Conflict Resolution Questionnaire”– A self-assessment
A. Purpose: To give students an opportunity to analyze their own conflict
management approaches and skills and to receive feedback from group members.
(This exercise works best when conflict styles and principled negotiation have
already been discussed in class.)
B. Time required: approximately 30 minutes (if questionnaire is filled out
in advance)
C. Instructions
1. Have students access Web site:
www.qvctc.commnet.edu/classes/ssci121/questnr.html
or type “conflict resolution questionnaire” in Google search window.
2. The “Conflict Resolution Questionnaire” will appear. Instruct students to
fill out the questionnaire as honestly as possible, score it as instructed,
and bring a printed copy to class on the day this exercise will be
conducted.
3. Be sure all students have scored the questionnaire accurately before
proceeding. Scoring instructions are included on the Web site.
4. Have groups form. Give groups about 15 minutes to discuss the
results of the questionnaire. Have students focus on principled
negotiation, matching their results with the principles identified by
Fisher and Ury in the text.
D. Processing
1. Discuss with class how useful they think the questionnaire was. Did it
provide useful information for assessing their own knowledge and
skill on conflict management?
2. Discuss with the class what likely happens when group members
have different levels of knowledge and skill for managing conflict.
How should groups deal with such diversity?
III. "Conflict Case Studies" exercise
A. Purposes:
1. Require students to apply theoretical material on conflict styles.
2. Require students to apply theoretical material on negotiating
strategies.
B. Time required: About 40-50 minutes.
C. Instructions:
1. Divide class into groups of 5-7 members.
2. Distribute the two case studies (see following pages).
3. Have groups indicate how best to handle these conflicts, applying the
text material on conflict styles and negotiating strategies.
CASE STUDY #1
The scene is Piedmont College in Lost Horizon, Connecticut. Piedmont College sports an
admirable academic reputation nationally. It has a student body of 10,000 (exclusively
commuters). Its student newspaper, The Scorch, has excellent facilities for on-campus
printing.
A group interested in publishing a campus literary magazine, The Crucible, has received
$200 each from 3 departments on campus (English, Speech, and Journalism) to begin work
on the magazine. The purpose of the magazine is to promote student creativity and act as a
vehicle for student literary expression.
The Problem
It is too costly to publish The Crucible off-campus and The Crucible has a very tight
budget. Since The Scorch has excellent printing facilities, the staff at The Scorch offered
the use of its facilities for preparing and printing The Crucible (for a nominal fee of $200
per issue). The point of conflict arises each week on Tuesday and Wednesday prior to the
publication of The Scorch (issues come out on Thursdays). There isn't enough room at The
Scorch office to accommodate both groups at once. The staff of The Crucible has to work
at least twice a week (pasting up articles, headlines, graphics) using The Scorch's facilities.
The Scorch staff has become increasingly angry by the "infringement" of its rights by The
Crucible staff.
In addition, one of the machines used in preparing photographs for publication has been
broken due to carelessness. No one will own up to having broken the machine. The Scorch
had to foot the repair bill ($525.00) since the machine was originally purchased to publish
The Scorch, and must be used for this purpose each week.
If The Scorch staff refuses to allow The Crucible staff to continue to use the facilities of The
Scorch, the literary magazine will fold. Yet, the equipment cannot be jeopardized by
carelessness.
You're the arbitrator of this conflict. What would you suggest?
