on the dish. All of these mistakes occur because Rich operates from a typical
American perspective of individualism, yet he is a guest in a collectivist household
governed by a strong desire for harmony and a We-orientation.
V. Excerpt from movie, Mystic Pizza
A. Show the segment where Julia Roberts’ character, Daisy, has dinner with her
boyfriend, Charley’s rich family and her boyfriend destroys the evening. End the
segment with the scene where Daisy says she wants to go home.
B. Discuss this excerpt with the class in terms of transactional communication and
especially the communication competence model:
1. We-not-Me orientation–the boyfriend disrupts dinner to make an
inappropriate point.
2. Sensitivity–the boyfriend shows no sensitivity to his date who feels awkward
from the outset, nor to the dinner guests who are visibly embarrassed by the
verbal boxing match between father and son. The server, Teresa, also
exhibits insensitivity to her friend, Daisy (Julia Roberts).
3. Appropriateness–Teresa shows inappropriateness when she begins
conversing with Daisy about her job in the pizza parlor (she is supposed to
serve the food not become one of the dinner guests); the aunt makes a
bigoted comment; the father and son air their dirty laundry during dinner and
in front of guests; nothing the boyfriend does is appropriate from start to
finish.
4. Knowledge without skill–the father tries to smooth over an awkward situation
when it is revealed that Daisy is a waitress at a pizza parlor. Father’s
comment, however, comes across as lame attempt. He knows what should be
done but not how to do it gracefully. The mother likewise comes across as
patronizing.
VI. Excerpt of movie Home for the Holidays
A. Begin the clip about 30 minutes into the movie, a Thanksgiving dinner disaster.
Aunt Glad (Geraldine Chaplin) is singing. Soon she says, “You’re the best thing
on two legs, Henry Lawson.” End the clip when the Holly Hunter character
follows her mother out of the room.
B. Almost every standard of competent communication is violated during the
dinner. Family members exhibit a pronounced Me-orientation, spilling family
secrets, embarrassing each other. There are frequent interruptions, ridicule, and
venting of anger. Appropriateness is a central concern throughout. Aunt Glad is
clearly inappropriate, but she can be forgiven some because she is rather daffy.
Others cannot be excused so easily. Foul language, coarse jokes, and abuse
abound. There is a stunning lack of sensitivity exhibited by most combatants.
Communication is clumsy and boorish.