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Chapter 6 LECTURE NOTES
Revising Business Messages
CHAPTER SYNOPSIS
Students often resist the work of significant, substantial revision in favor of proofreading, so you
may wish to spend enough time on this chapter to emphasize that all three—editing,
proofreading, and evaluating—are important. They must operate in concert for any written
communication to be successful. Writing requires greater precision than speaking because a
speaker can get instant feedback and correct misunderstandings. Writers do not have the luxury
of instant feedback and reply.
To help students understand that individuals at all levels of an organization need to be clear and
precise when writing, allow them to critique actual business messages. Also, encourage students
to make a habit of proofreading each other’s papers. Psychologically, we don’t want to find
errors in our own work, but we can often find errors in someone else’s work. Because we are
certain of our intended meanings, we fail to see how a message actually does read. On the job,
businesspersons have only one opportunity to help their company make a good first impression.
The first impression made by their correspondence can either help their organization make
money or lose money, earn goodwill or lose it. Writers need to commit the time it takes to make
this first impression a positive one.
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
1. Complete business messages by revising for conciseness, which includes eliminating flabby
expressions, long lead-ins, there is/are and it is/was fillers, redundancies, and empty words, as
well as condensing for microblogging.
2. Improve clarity in business messages by keeping the ideas simple, dumping trite business
phrases, dropping clichés, avoiding slang and buzzwords, rescuing buried verbs, and
controlling exuberance.
3. Enhance readability by understanding document design including the use of white space,
margins, typefaces, fonts, numbered and bulleted lists, and headings.
4. Recognize proofreading problem areas, and apply effective techniques to catch mistakes in both
routine and complex documents.
5. Evaluate a message to judge its effectiveness.
WHAT’S NEW IN THIS CHAPTER
Updated the Taco Bell opening case scenario to show how the company rescued itself from
bad publicity, providing readers with a context for a relevant chapter-ending application
assignment.
Addressed the importance of the revision process in the digital age, emphasizing that even in
this hurry-up culture, taking the time to revise messages reduces confusion and increases the
writer's credibility.
Revised many chapter illustrations and examples to reflect social media and digital
applications to connect traditional writing techniques with today's digital environment.
Added coverage of writing concisely for microblogging on social media networks to guide
students in efficient and appropriate techniques.
Provided examples of Twitter messages that illustrate how to write concisely, clearly, and
correctly in only 140 characters.
Captured attention with a Reality Check titled "What's Bad, Boring, and Barely Read All
Over?"
Added a brief discussion of "zombie nouns" so that students recognize what happens when
writers "suck the life out of active verbs."
Presented at least 90 percent new or substantially revised end-of-chapter activities to give
students fresh opportunities to apply their writing skills.
LECTURE OUTLINE
I. Taking Time to Revise: Applying Phase 3 of the Writing Process (p. 177)
The final phase of the 3-x-3 writing process focuses on editing, proofreading, and
evaluating.
Some experts recommend devoting about half the total composition time to editing,
proofreading, and evaluating your message.
Definition: Revising means improving the content and sentence structure of your message.
PowerPoint slides 1-3
II. Tightening Your Message by Revising for Conciseness (p. 178)
Use the fewest words possible to make your message easy to understand and to save
the reader’s valuable time.
A. Eliminating Flabby Expressions
Figure 6.1 Revising Digital and Print Documents
PowerPoint slide 4
B. Limiting Long Lead-Ins
PowerPoint slide 5
C. Dropping Unnecessary there is/are and it is/was Fillers
PowerPoint slide 6
D. Rejecting Redundancies
PowerPoint slide 7
E. Purging Empty Words
Figure 6.2 Live Chat Connects Service Reps and Customers
PowerPoint slide 8
F. Writing Concisely for Microblogging on Social Media Networks
Microblogging consists of short messages exchanged on social media networks such
as Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr.
Microblogging may be public or private.
Twitter limits each post (“tweet”) to 140 characters. Conciseness and accuracy are
important.
When microblogging, include only main ideas, choose descriptive but short words,
personalize your message, and be prepared to write several versions.
PowerPoint slides 9, 10
III. Making Your Message Clear (p. 183)
Clear messages are immediately understood, simple, and conversational.
Figure 6.3 Conciseness Improves Clarity in Understanding Drug Facts
A. Keep It Short and Simple
Apply the Kiss formula: Keep It Short and Simple!
Instead of this
The purpose of this e-mail is to notify staff members that you will not be able to park in
the parking lot while it is being repaved next week.
Try this
While the parking lot is being repaved next week, please park on Elm Street.
PowerPoint slides 11, 12
B. Dumping Trite Business Phrases
Instead of this Try this
every effort will be made we’ll try
in accordance with your wishes as you wish
PowerPoint slide 13
C. Dropping Clichés
Instead of this Try this
make a bundle earn more money
fit the bill solves a problem
PowerPoint slide 14
D. Avoiding Slang and Buzzwords
To sound professional, avoid slang and buzzwords. Slang is composed of informal
words and arbitrary and extravagantly changed meanings (snarky, lousy).
Buzzwords are technical expressions that have become fashionable are often
meant to impress rather than express (value-added, paradigm shift).
E. Rescuing Buried Verbs
Buried verbs are those that are needlessly converted to word noun expressions.
Instead of this Try this
take action on act
perform an analysis of analyze
PowerPoint slide 15
F. Controlling Exuberance
Avoid sounding unprofessional by overusing words such as very, definitely, quite,
completely, really, etc.
PowerPoint slide 16
IV. Enhancing Readability Through Document Design (p. 186)
A. Employing White Space
White space is the empty space on a page.
Increase white space with headings, bulleted or numbered lists, and effective
margins.
PowerPoint slides 17, 18
B. Understanding Margins and Text Alignment
Business letters and memos usually have side margins of 1 to 1 ½ inches.
PowerPoint slides 19, 20
C. Choosing Appropriate Typefaces
Serif typefaces have small features at the ends of strokes.
Sans serif typefaces are widely used for headings and signs.
Figure 6.4 Typefaces with Different Personalities for Different Purposes
PowerPoint slides 21, 22
D. Capitalizing on Type Fonts and Sizes
Font styles are a mechanical means of adding emphasis to your words (all caps,
bold, and italic).
E. Numbering and Bulleting Lists for Quick Comprehension
High-visibility numbered or bulleted lists improve readability and skim value.
PowerPoint slides 23, 24
F. Adding Headings for Visual Impact
Headings help writers to organize information and enable readers to absorb
important ideas.
Figure 6.5 Document Design Improves Readability
PowerPoint slides 25, 26
V. Proofreading to Catch Errors (p. 191)
Definition: Proofreading involves correcting grammar, spelling, punctuation, format,
and mechanics.
PowerPoint slides 27, 28
A. What to Watch for in Proofreading
Spelling
Grammar
Punctuation
Names and numbers
Format
Figure 6.6 Why Proofread? In Business, Accuracy Matters
B. How to Proofread Routine Documents
Look for typos and misspellings.
Search for easily confused words, such as to for too and then for than.
Read for missing words.
Study for inconsistencies and ambiguous expressions.
Look for factual errors.
PowerPoint slide 29
C. How to Proofread Complex Documents
Set the document aside for at least a day.
Allow adequate time to proofread carefully.
Be prepared to find errors.
Read the message at least twice—once for word meanings and once for grammar
and mechanics. For very long documents (book chapters and long articles or
reports), read a third time to verify consistency in formatting.
Reduce your reading speed and concentrate on individual words rather than ideas.
For documents that must be perfect, enlist a proofreading buddy.
Use standard proofreading marks, shown in Appendix D to indicate changes.
PowerPoint slides 30-35
VI. Evaluating the Effectiveness of Your Message (p. 193)
Definition: Evaluating is the process of analyzing whether your message achieved its purpose.
PowerPoint slide 36, 37
VII. Checklist: Editing, Proofreading, and Evaluating
Eliminate flabby expressions.
Avoid opening fillers and long lead-ins.
Shun redundancies.
Tighten your writing.
Write concisely for microblogging.
Keep the message simple.
Avoid trite business phrases.
Don’t use clichés or slang.
Rescue buried verbs.
Control exuberance.
Improve readability through document design.
Proofread for correctness.
Evaluate your final product.
