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NOTES AND ANECDOTES
The meaning and tone of a leader’s words can have tremendous motivational force. Consider the
oratory skills of Lincoln during the Civil War, Roosevelt during the Great Depression, and Kennedy‘s
challenge to a generation.
“Government of the people, by the people, for the people”…
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation
conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so
conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that
war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those
who here gave their lives that this nation might live.
We here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under
God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the
people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
—Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, 1863
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself “…
This great nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of
all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—
nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror, which paralyzes needed efforts to convert
retreat into advance.
—Roosevelt’s First Inaugural Address, 1933
“Ask not what your country can do for you—
ask what you can do for your country”…
Let the word go forth that the torch has been passed. Let us begin anew. Let every
nation know that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any
friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and success of liberty.
In your hands, my fellow citizens, more than mine, will rest the final success or failure of
our course. In the long history of our world, only a few generations have been granted
the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. And so, my fellow
Americans, ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your
country.
—Kennedy’s Inaugural Address, 1961
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Notes and Anecdotes
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN MELLOW?
A subtle, psychological cause of communication breakdown and failed human relations is
intolerance—an unwillingness to accept people, ideas, and backgrounds other than your own. The
stronger and more fixed your views, the greater the intolerance and the more difficult it is to understand
other people (communications) and the harder it is to adapt to new situations involving others (human
relations). Another word for intolerance is closed-mindedness.
Economist Paul Samuelson’s tongue–in-check description of working women shows the role of
intolerance in the world of work.
Women are built by nature to tend to babies in the home. They are emotional. They have
monthly ups and downs. They cannot carry heavy weights. They lack self-confidence.
Men will not work under a woman. Man–to-man talk will be inhibited by the presence of
women. Even women prefer a male physician to a female one. Women lack imagination
and creativity. If you mix men and women on the job, they will carry on to the detriment
of efficiency and good morals. By the time you have trained a woman, she’ll get married
and leave you, or have a baby, or alternatively, you won’t be able to ever to get rid of a
woman once you’ve hired her. If a woman does turn out to be a superlative economic
performer, she’s not feminine; she’s harsh and aggressive with a chip on her shoulder
against men and the world. (And she’s killing her chances of getting married.) Women
workers, seeking pin money, take bread from the mouths of family breadwinners.
Where do such ideas come from? How is intolerance developed? Intolerance results from social
attitudes formed both in the home and in the community.
Home
There is nothing innate in children that causes them to have preferences for a certain color of skin
or a certain shape of eyes. Small children learn such preferences by association and imitation. Children
observe the behavior of role models, particularly their parents, as they interact with others, and they begin
to learn preferences for their parents’ attitudes and ways of behaving. Preferences for many social
customs, such as eating, speaking, and living habits, are developed early as a result of home and family
influence. More than 200 years ago, Thomas Jefferson recognized the importance of the home
environment for shaping attitudes when he wrote, “…for man is an imitative animal. This quality is the
germ of all education to him. From his cradle to his grave, he is learning to do what he sees others do.”
As early as age three and usually be age five, children notice ethnic differences, and social
stereotyping begins. Consider the role of the family, as young boys and girls develop different attitudes
toward social roles. The following quotations depict boys as strong, capable, and worldly, and girls as
dependent and oriented toward life in the home.
How Boys and Girls are Different
“Mark! Janet!” said mother.
“What is going onhere?”
“She cannot skate,” said mark.
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“I can help her;
I want to help her.
Look at her, mother;
Just look at her.
She is just like a girl;
She gives up.”
“Stop that, Janet,” said mother.
“Mark is going to help you.
He is going to help you now.
Come on Janet.
Get up!
I want to see you skate.”
“Now you see,” said Mark.
“Now you can skate.
But just with me to help you!”
Boys and Girls Do Different Things
They all jumped into the big box.
“A train,” one boy said.
“The box can be a train.”
“Get on the train,” said the boys.
The girls went into the box.
What could the box be now?
The box was not a boat.
It was not a train.
It was not a plane.
The box was a house.
And the girls played house all day.
In our society, boys and girls are treated differently from the time they are born. Boys are dressed
in blue and given cars and trucks for toys, while girls wear pink and are encouraged to play with dolls and
dishes. Boys are allowed more freedom and girls are treated more protectively.
By the age of three, most children know whether they are male or female, and they have distinct,
if not exaggerated, ideas of what masculinity and femininity should involve. Through conditioning (a
system of rewards and punishments), Imitation (copying the behavior of those perceived to be most like
themselves), and self-definition (categorizing people into two sexes and then deciding to which group
they belong), children establish sexual identity, a critical task for normal growth and development.
Just as attitudes toward sex roles are influenced by home and family, so are many other social
attitudes. These include broad views on work, health, and government, as well as specific opinions about
food, language, dress, and other people.
Community. Social attitudes continue to develop throughout later childhood and during the early teens,
as school, religion, social customs, and community stereotypes play important roles. The socialization
that most people experience during this period has tremendous influence on their likes and dislikes for
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particular values and types of people. By late adolescence, attitudes usually solidify around the norms of
the community and groups with whom the person associates.
School. To see how schools can influence social attitudes, consider that textbooks from preschool on
historically have portrayed males more favorably than females. A study of books awarded prized for
excellence by The American Library Association found that male characters out-numbered females 11 to
1, and, in the case of animals with sex identities, 95 to 1. Throughout these books, males were shown in
adventurous and varied roles, while girls were usually shown only in supportive and homemaker roles.
In another study, social researcher Marjorie U’Ren found that only 15 percent of the schoolbooks
with illustrations of people included pictures of women. She writes: “We tend to forget the fact that the
female sex is half the human race, that women are not merely the ladies’ auxiliary to the human species.”
Religion. Religious teachings are important in shaping attitudes toward types and groups of people.
Consider the implications of the prayer all male Orthodox Jews are supposed to say every morning:
Blessed art thou, oh Lord our God, King of the Universe, that I was not born a gentile.
Blessed art thou, oh Lord our God, King of the Universe, that I was not born a slave.
Blessed art thou, oh Lord our God, King of the Universe, that I was not born a woman.
Similar antifeminist bias is reflected in Christianity due largely to the teachings of Saint Paul,
who viewed the inferior role of women as part of divine natural order. In I Corinthians 11:7—9, Paul
writes:
…A man…is the image of God and reflects God’s glory; but woman is the reflection of
man’s glory. For man did not come from woman; woman came from man. And man
was not created for the sake of woman, but woman was created for the sake of man.
Elsewhere in the New Testament Paul states:
…Wives should regard their husbands as they regard the Lord, since as Christ is the head
of the church and serves the whole body, so is a husband the head of his wife; and as the
church submits to Christ, so should wives submit to their husbands, in everything.
Social Custom. The role of social custom in forming attitudes is shown by the different roles of men and
women in different societies.
Social Custom and Sex Roles
Anthropologist Margaret Mead spent the years 1931-1933 in New Guinea studying
the contrasting attitudes of societies toward the sexes. Among three groups—the gentle
Arapesh, the cannibalistic Mundugumor, and the head hunting Tchambuli—living within
a radius of only about a hundred miles, she found strikingly different ideas about
masculinity and femininity.
Among the Arapesh, men and women are regarded as equally gentle and are equally
likely to initiate sexual relations. In fact, parents are more inclined to warn their sons
than their daughters against getting into situations in which they might be seduced.
Males take as much delight as females in those many aspects of parenthood that the
North American and European stereotypes regard as “maternal” behavior. So little
distinction is made between parental roles that the Arapesh verb that translates as “to bear
a child” refers equally to males who have become fathers and to females who do the
actual bearing. When Mead remarked to a group of Arapesh that a certain middle-aged
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male was handsome, they agreed, and then one added, “but you should have seen him
before he bore all those children.”
The nearby Mundugumor also apply the same standards of behavior to both sexes,
but their ideal is the direct opposite to that of the gentle Arapesh. Both male and female
Mundugumors are taught from infancy to be independent and competitive. As adults,
females are expected to be every bit as aggressive in sexual encounters, and no less
violent, jealous, and quick to avenge insults than the males.
Among the third group, the Tchambuli, the sexes exhibit definite behavioral
differences, but with an exact reversal of the roles expected of them in most other
societies. The males spend much of their time playing the flute and cultivating the arts;
they take care in choosing their attire each day and in adorning themselves with jewelry;
and most of the work they do consists of shopping and trading. The females, on the other
hand, are assertive and practical; they show little interest in clothing or jewelry; and it is
they who, by fishing and by manufacturing utensils for trade, largely provide for the
family.
Community Stereotypes. Community stereotypes are important determinants of social
attitudes. Consider Russian author Leo Tolstoy’s characterization of people from different parts
of Europe, as described in War and Peace:
A Frenchman is self-assured, because he regards himself personally, both in mind
and body, as irresistibly attractive to men and women. An Englishman is self-assured, as
he sees himself as being a citizen of the best-organized state in the world. An Italian is
self-assured, because he is excitable and easily forgets himself and other people. A
Russian is self-assured, just because he knows nothing and does not want to know
anything, since he does not believe that anything can be known. The German’s self–
assurance is worst of all, stronger and more repulsive than any other, because he imagines
that he knows the truth—science—which he himself has invented, but which is, for him,
the absolute truth.
The tendency to generalize and the tendency to be stereotyped shape the attitudes and
experiences of many people. Consider the words of the English poet, Alfred Tennyson:
Man for the field, and woman for the hearth;
Man for the sword, and for the needle she;
Man with head, and woman with the heart;
Man to command, and woman to obey;
All else confusion…
Such ideas were widely shared and influenced conditions in nineteenth-century English society.
Social attitudes that develop in the home and in the community tend to remain with you all of
your life and play important roles in human relations. Once formed, these attitudes are difficult
to change. In The Nature of Prejudice, psychologist Gordon Allport reports the following
conversation:
Mr. X: The trouble with Jews is that they only take care of their own group.
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Mr. Y: But the record of the community chest campaign shows that they give more
generously, in proportion to their numbers, to the general charities of the community,
than do non-Jews.
Mr. X: That shows they are always trying to buy favor and intrude into Christian affairs.
They think of nothing but money; that is why there are so many Jewish bankers.
Mr. Y: But a recent study shows that the percentage of Jews in the banking business is
negligible, far smaller than the percentage of non-Jews.
Mr. X: That’s just it; they don’t go in for respectable businesses; they are only in the
movie business or they run night clubs.
In effect, Mr. X is saying, “Don’t confuse me with the facts; my mind is made up,” and he will
create one rationalization after another to support his basic attitudes.
Besides attitudes toward specific groups and customs, people acquire a general orientation
toward the world through family, friends, school, and other influence factors. Some may
develop a world view that is black and white (good and evil, right and wrong), with no tolerance
for differences. Others may develop a world view that is neither black nor white but a reality in
between, so that their opinions are tentative and open to new information and new interpretation.
This world view is essentially open-minded. Your view of the world affects your entire life,
because it is carried into every relationship you have.
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NOTES AND ANECDOTES
Recognize that men and women are more alike than they are different. Even though they are different in
many ways, men and women are the same in many more ways. See Figure 6.2
FIGURE 6.2: MEN AND WOMEN ARE MORE ALIKE THAN THEY ARE DIFFERENT
NOTES AND ANECDOTES
The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung recommended that people develop both male-associated and female–
associated qualities in their personalities. He believed that in this way people could achieve their full
potential. Figure 6.3 shows how men and women can achieve a state of androgyny in the work setting.
Androgyny is the presence of desirable masculine and feminine characteristics in the same individual.
Androgyny consists of assertive characteristics such as independence and competitiveness as well as
integrative characteristics such as sympathy and affection. A more descriptive term for androgyny is
gender role transcendence.
HOW MEN
AND
WOMEN
ARE
THE SAME
MEN
WOMEN
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FIGURE 6.3: Androgyny—Gender Role Transcendence
To Achieve Full Potential in the Work Setting
Both Men and Women Need to:
1. Be willing to take risks.
2. Accept and express feelings as a valuable part of themselves.
3. Be open and direct in dealing with people.
4. Develop an identity that is not defined totally by work.
5. State personal needs clearly and without apology.
6. Learn how to fail at a task without feeling like a failure as a person
7. Focus on tasks as well as relationships.
8. Accept imperfections that are a part of humanity.
9. Build support systems and share competencies with others.
10. Be patient and considerate when handling problems.
11. Don’t turn anger and blame inward.
12. Share personal experiences with others.
13. Avoid self-limiting behaviors such as allowing oneself to be interrupted,
or laughing after making serious statements.
14. Listen to people without feeling responsible for solving their problems.
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FIGURE 6.4: JUDGING BEHAVIOR BASED ON DOUBLE STANDARDS
Woman
A businesswoman is pushy.
She’s picky.
She’s a complainer.
She doesn’t know when to quit.
She’s stubborn.
She reveals her prejudices.
She’s been around.
She’s opinionated.
She’s tyrannical.
She’s secretive.
She’s difficult to work for.
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FIGURE 6.5: HUMAN RELATIONS CREDO
HUMAN RELATIONS CREDO
• All people should be treated with respect and dignity. We must have an eyes-level approach
rather than an eyes-up or eyes-down approach in our dealings with people, regardless of social
status.
• The fellowship of human beings is more important than the fellowship of race, class, and gender.
Be decent and fair, and insist that others be so in your presence.
• Be sure everyone is given the opportunity to participate. Go for inclusion and openness as
important workplace values.
• Valuing diversity provides strength and a positive advantage for organizations operating in
multicultural environments.
• Managing diversity requires the capacity to put oneself in another person’s shoes.
• We should help people achieve their potential. This involves listening to people, not being so
arrogant to assume we know the needs of all other people.
• Valuing diversity means trying to understand each person as an individual, rather than seeing the
person as a representative of a group.
• Diversity supports the ability to recruit excellent talent from the entire labor pool.
• Where community exists, all people have reason to believe that they are accepted and respected,
and their voices will be heard.
• Leaders in the workplace should view diversity as an asset; understand diverse cultural practices;
facilitate understanding among people; help all employees make contributions.
• In the enlightened community, social differences do not divide people. Instead, diversity is
welcome. There is a wholeness that incorporates the wide variety and richness of human
experience.
• Be sensitive to differences. Appreciate the uniqueness of every individual.
*Developed by an organization with German owners, American workers, Mexican suppliers, and
Japanese customers.
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NOTES AND ANECDOTES
In a 1996 study, Women in Corporate Leadership: Progress and Prospects, women attributed their career
success to four key factors:
1) Consistently exceed expectations: 77%
2) Develop style with which male managers are comfortable: 61%
3) Seek out difficult assignments: 50%
4) Have influential mentor: 37%
NOTES AND ANECDOTES
Men and women become sidetracked for many of the same reasons. Women, however, are typically
forced into a narrower range of acceptable behavior than their male colleagues, making it more difficult to
meet standards for senior leadership positions. Personal factors leading to female derailment include:
• Inability to adapt. This may be due partly to lack of guidance and feedback from helpful
leaders.
• Overly ambitious. Pressure for the trappings of success, as well as ambition for womankind,
can lead to the derailment of women’s careers.
• Performance problems. Some women are promoted beyond their professional capabilities
and interests.
• Lack of independence. Women are often encouraged to be dependent, both in their
upbringing and in their professional development.
• Discomfort due to gender perceptions and biases. Issues and concerns over sexuality, including
sexual harassment, may limit a woman’s success.
Forces are in motion that make the promotion of women in the workplace more likely. These driving
forces for change include:
• Greater numbers of women in the work force, accelerating the evolution of attitudes.
• Women attending the same colleges, joining the same clubs, and rising through the same ranks as
their male colleagues. With assimilation into social and business networks formerly dominated by
men, women lose less to “old boy” networks.
• Government policies and guidelines that support women-owned businesses.
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• Increasing willingness of men to share in domestic and child-rearing tasks, giving women more
time and energy for career activities.
Managing Mixed Groups
For leaders who manage men and women working together, the following guidelines are suggested:
• Accept the premise that a man and woman can work together without having an affair.
• Make business decisions based on competence rather than gender.
• Recognize that romantic relationships can exist that are not counter-productive.
• Let employees know that you expect discreet, responsible behavior.
• Avoid the temptation to protect employees from themselves.
• Focus on possibilities rather than problems, and seek to guide rather than control.
HINDRANCE HABITS
TO UNFREEZE YOUR ATTITUDES, TRY TO OVERCOME THESE
FIVE HINDRANCE HABITS.
▪ THE “DIE–CASTING” HABIT—Sorting people into types or forcing
them into imaginary molds set up in our own minds.
▪ THE “JUST LIKE” HABIT—Noting traits that are obviously similar
between people and ignoring different ones.
▪ THE “GO OR NO–GO” HABIT—Classifying people as either all one way
or all another way with no provision for in-between.
▪ THE “RIGID” HABIT—Dealing with people and situations in certain set
manners with no flexibility allowed for circumstances or individual needs.