Part 05 – Leadership Principles
5-19
Just as partners may experience turtle styles of human relations, so may whole
groups. Turtle relationships may exist between working groups, between management
and employees, and between an organization and its public. Such relationships are
characterized by low morale and poor performance.
Turtle relationships can be improved if people listen to the ideas and feelings of
others and openly express their own ideas and feelings. This process can be started by
one, but it takes two to improve a turtle relationship. Someone must take the initiative,
and someone must respond favorably.
Owl
The owl style of human relations is better than the turtle, because it shows a good
deal of respect toward others. The owl gives time and attention, thus showing concern for
the ideas and feelings of others. However, when someone listens, listens, listens, but
does not share ideas and feelings in return, a “façade” develops, with tow corresponding
drawbacks: 1) an impression of role playing and insincerity and 2) suppression of
conflict, with a resulting decrease in creativity and potential for problem solving.
Avoidance of self-expression and an overreliance on listening is present in the
owl style. Ultimately, this will not be satisfying for either partner, because it represents a
one-sided relationship. The solution is to demonstrate trust in others by becoming more
self-expressive. A woman who listens to her family and friends, but who continually
censors her own behavior because she fears disapproval, has an owl style of human
relations. By more openly expressing herself, she can lower the façade and raise the
quality of her relationships.
It takes two to improve an owl relationship: 1) The owl gradually must become
more open, which takes time because the idea that they must change is difficult for many
people to accept. Also dealing with confrontation and being honest in self-expression can
be threatening. 2) The owl’s partner must show respect by listening as ideas, hopes,
goals, and feelings are shared.
Bull-in-a-China Shop
The bull-in-a-china-shop style of human relations is like the owl in that it is half-
good and half-bad. The good part is that the bull is open and honest with feelings and
ideas. Whether they are right or wrong, popular or not, you always know where bulls
stand. By open self-expression, the bull says, “I trust you and I believe you will not use
what I say to hurt me.” This is the good part. The bad part is the enormous “blind spot”
the bull has created by not listening to others. Perhaps unintentionally, the bull is
demonstrating that other people’s feelings and ideas are unimportant.
Whether the bull-in-a-china-shop style develops as a result of ego striving, natural
aggressiveness, or actual superiority, it is often destructive in human relationships. The
blind spot typically contains negative data—the frustration, resentment, and anger of
others – which may one day erupt. Eruption could take the form of revolution, such as
sabotage or escape. Eruption could also be turned inward and result in inferiority
feelings and low self-esteem for the bull’s partner and friends.
The solution is for the bull-in-a-china-shop to listen more to others. The bull
must realize that others need to express themselves too and should show respect for them
by listening. People who rarely ask for others’ opinions or listen to their problems, have